DISCLAIMER: FAKE is not my original creation, these situations are, stemming from the seed Samani Matoh has planted in my forehead, causing these strange things to root, blossom, bear fruit, and sometimes wither and fall off the branch. .

Chapter 3: Perversion

Dee's POV

"Take it back, Rose." I snarled, finally breaking that horrid, tense silence. He had been saying some cruel, vile things about Ryo while he was trying to fix the tape for us. My temper had flared. I was not in any kind of mood for this wad's shit.

"Oh, come on guys, could we just skip it today and get this assessment done?" Ryo asked, then settled into an embarrassed hiatus, having spoken out of turn against Rose. Ryo looked agitated, like he didn't want to be stuck in that room any more than I or Rose did. "I'm sorry, chief, but could we just… listen to the tape?"

Chief Rose shrugged and leaned forward, tapping the tape with his fingers.

"You're right Ryo. We should move along with business, rather than pursuing any more sophomoric games," his eyes narrowed, darting to me, "-Laytner."

"Me? You started it-"

"Dee." Ryo warned, a soothing hand reaching out to touch my tense arm.

"He did." I insisted quietly, more to myself than to Ryo.

"Alright, alright, settle down Ryo and friend."

'And friend-' I almost let loose another insult, but choked it back down into my throat when he began rewinding the recorded bust. I suddenly worried Ryo hadn't had our little escapade erased. It' couldn't have been done that quickly, could it?

The machine clicked as it finished and just as Rose was about to hit 'play' his phone rang.

"Get ready to start your notes while I take this real quick, gentlemen." Rose answered his phone and turned his chair away from us.

"Did you get it fixed?" I asked as I leaned into Ryo's ear.

"No, but I know what to do." He answered shakily.

"Sorry about that." Rose sighed and swiveled himself around to face us again, hanging up the phone mid-swing. "Let's get going."

Ryo and I leaned over our yellow-papered pads, pens in hand, cueing Rose to hit 'play.'

The first forty-five minutes went nearly seamlessly. After that, Ryo's fidgeting increased.

I hadn't even noticed it at first, being too busy with my notes to even give a glance, but soon I was made to notice. Ryo is not one to fidget often, but when he does it is the worst, most distracting kind of fidgeting possible. Not to understate the pressure we were under, I was worried about the consequences of having that on the tape, but Ryo had pretty much told me he had everything under control.

This did not look like control to me; this looked like virgin prom queen in the backseat of a Volkswagen, skirt hiked up, crown askew, blood-pressure sky-rocketing, the quarter-back murmuring promises they both knew were lies.

Ryo shifts so loudly in his seat, tries to clear his throat discreetly, mutters what he's writing out loud- I couldn't concentrate on my own page with all that racket going on beside me. But Rose didn't even notice.

The recording made it to the end of the deal and we listened to me while I snorted the coarse white grains. The eyes of the other men in the room seemed to meet mine simultaneously and a shiver I couldn't explain slid up my spine. The reaction to the sound caused all the tiny hairs on my arms and all the way up the back of my neck stand on end.

We swapped words with Rose and the noise quieted down as Ryo and I headed to Ryo's car.

"That's-"Ryo began. The ringing of the phone cut him off.

"Shit, I'm sorry, just a second." Berkley grumbled, taking the call. He spoke briefly, and by the time he hung up I was into my rant about it. It was immediately obvious who I was talking about.

"He acts like he's so high and mighty- I worked my ass off on this case, you know that! If it had been anyone else-"

Rose raised his eyebrows at me sending parallel lines of burning paranoia down the back of my neck.

"This is how you talk about me behind my back, Dee?" He questioned coolly.

I was about to answer truthfully when there was a knock at the door. Without waiting for a reply, JJ walked in, asking about getting the rest of the day off, that he and Drake finished digging out the old files on-

"Oh, I'm sorry, you're busy." He was about to retreat, but Berkley stopped him.

"No, by all means JJ, come on in, have a seat. Come listen to what your precious Dee thinks of me."

JJ closed the door and hesitantly made his way over to sit on the edge of Berkley Rose's desk while my voice shouted "-instead of going through all that ridiculous shit, he would have said no!"

The tape player went quiet again, but we could distinctly hear two pair of feet clomping up a flight of stairs. We were at Ryo's apartment.

"R-Really, sir, that's all t-there is on there-" Ryo was sputtering hopelessly. Rose waved a hand, dismissing Ryo's attempt to get it shut off. I knew it wouldn't be any help if I tried to turn it off. I was the bad guy in all this.

There was a slight shuffle of feet, clothing, and the unmistakable sound of my lips trying to consume Ryo's. There goes my hallway lunge. This surprisingly was not getting me all in a tizzy like it was doing to Ryo. We listened while Ryo tried to get me off him. Ryo's face looked like it was about to light his hair on fire.

"You know I don't want my neighbors to know." His sweet voice murmured.

"Sorry about that." I muttered to the Ryo in the room. The flaming face bobbed in an accepting motion.

"Fuck your neighbors."

"That too."

Berkley's eyes were on Ryo, I took his hand possessively and noticed JJ staring at me; hand over his mouth, cheeks flushed, but nowhere near as brightly as Ryo's.

"Really, Chief Rose, that's- there's nothing else on there of any i-interest-" Ryo tried again, face nearly glowing as he lied to the only two people in the precinct this recording would be of any interest to.

"No, I'm- Honestly Ryo, I'm interested in what you two do when you… head home early." Rose returned.

"I'm sure you are, Rose, but-" I was about to come up with an award-winner of a cruelty.

"That's our personal life-" Ryo started. He fell silent while recorded Ryo tried to persuade recorded me into his recorded bedroom.

"Eeee! No way! I get to actually listen while Dee-" JJ wobbled on his perch and looked as though he was going to faint.

Beneath his blush Ryo was pale.

The recorded springs of Ryo's mattress recoiled under the weight of Ryo's body hitting it.

"Whoa! Careful Dee, you could have hurt me." I swear I could hear my rapid heartbeat coming out of the speakers.

The microphone was mentioned, it thumped onto the floor. Berkley and JJ were attentive and both seemed to relax a little, though not much, when I said to just "leave it."

The slurping of the ravaging of Ryo's chest came to us, his sexy noises would be enough to turn on half the precinct, regardless of orientation. Rose looked like he was trying his hardest to resist whipping it out and having a go at himself right then and there.

"Touch me." I moaned, and I thought I sounded to die for. There is nothing sexier than listening to a recorded version of yourself and your lover in the throes of passionate lovemaking. Ryo's hand was rubbing at his jaw and forehead irritably.

"Dee-" Ryo's recorded throat growled.

"Suck me-" Ryo interrupted the mental masturbation in the room by storming out of his chair and ripping out of the office.

Without making any kind of decision, I tore out after him. I followed his quick pace into the men's room. As I came through the door he whirled to face me.

"I can't do it, Dee." My darling had tears smearing his lovely face. I hadn't know it would get this out of hand. "I-I just can't, I tried to sit there and take it, but I can't- Not with them looking at us like that-" His hands worked at covering his face and I had to take him in my arms, had to comfort him.

"It's okay, Ryo. It's fine. It'll be alright, I promise." I murmured, pressing his head to my chest. I wrapped my arms around his waist, swaying slowly and shushing him soothingly.

His sobs finally subsided and he snuffled loudly.

"I'll never be able to show my face in this precinct again. I'll have to transfer."

"Ryo!" I scolded, holding him at arms length to look him in the face. "Don't be daft, that's the dumbest idea! You can't transfer over something like this!"

"But, it's so embarrassing!" He groaned. "You know they're still in that office listening to that. It'll be whispered between desks for as long as we work here!"

"It will not." I argued, hugging him tightly. "I swear. Berkley and JJ will probably just wack it in there today and never mention it again."

"You know they'll make jokes about it." Ryo pointed out.

"So. What's a few jokes?" Ryo looked up at me skeptically and I grinned down at him. "You can handle a few jokes, right?"

"Of course."

"Those kinds of jokes?"

"I could try."

"Okay then." I grinned a winning grin and pushed him toward the door and out into the hall.

We made our way back to our desks and sat. No one batted an eye at us. Nobody made any comments. It went smoothly as Ryo's sweet ass, and we continued writing out the paperwork. Or, rather Ryo continued, muttering still about a transfer, while I fiddled with a few paperclips. My head kind of ached anyway, I didn't want to invoke the wrath of a deadly migraine today. While I sat I took in what my body was doing. After an experience with a drug like the one I did, I wanted to know how my body, which is usually pretty healthy, was coping. Not only was my head behaving out of the ordinary, my stomach felt like a void. I felt no desire for food, even though I know I should, but it felt a different kind of desire. It felt an empty yearning for something other than food. It wasn't a sexual craving, those obviously being entirely different, but it still felt like a taboo, carnal craving.

Ryo an I sat there for a while, knowing JJ and Rose were still busy in Rose's office, minding our own business, when the PA system snapped to life over our heads and the whole building was filled with the sticky, delicious sounds of he and I, along with another undefined noise.

I slammed to life, running to Berkley's office to see just what the hell he thought he was doing over the PA.

I rushed the door, screaming about violations of personal information and psychological trauma to find a most stunning image before me.

Rose had JJ's hand in his fly, hand gripping the edge of the table, PA button crushed, and JJ had dropped his pants entirely, Rose's hand forced hard into his boxers.

"JUST WHAT THE HELL IS IT YOU THINK YOU TWO ARE DOING IN HERE?!" I shrieked, scaring the two out of their delicate state and into opposite corners of the room where they buttoned and zipped up. "YOU HIT THE FUCKING PA BUTTON YOU ASS!" I screamed. I slammed the door behind myself and went back to my desk. I sat calmly and shut my eyes. Too much stress today. Too much. I peeked at Ryo, who had his head in his hands. "There's no way anyone could know it was us recorded. I totally sounded like it was Rose and JJ going at it, which they nearly were anyway." I said to him, to calm him down a little.

"This is a disaster." He grumbled.

"Self-proclaimed disaster." I badly needed a cigarette.

"But a disaster nonetheless." Now more than anything I needed to get away form Ryo's negativity. I stood and went round to him, squeezed his shoulder.

"It's going to be more embarrassing for them to come out of that office than this whole ordeal has been for us." I assured him, gave him another tender little squeeze, and went down to the vaults to check on the stash we confiscated.

"Hey, Dee! What're you doin' down here? You never come down here." Craig commented from his desk when I waltzed on in.

"Oh, I just came to… check on the coke from my bust last night." That sounded suspicious to my ears. "Did you hear about it?" I asked, grinning, hiding my raw nerves.

"Yeah, I heard you go so close to the boss they didn't even pat you down going in. You should be an actor, that takes skills." Craig nodded, a smile in his eyes. "I envy you guys upstairs. You get to have all the fun."

"If you could call it that." I shrugged, feeling my smile cracking. "So, how's it doing?"

"Nice and snug, back in vault 92. That was a major deal, we made off with, like, twenty kilos."

"Yeah, made off good." I couldn't keep myself at bay anymore. "Could I see it? Just to make sure… for my own… peace of mind."

"Yeah, come on back."

I followed Craig back into the rows of "vaults" which were actually more like big lockers. I kept my eyes sharp while Craig undid the combination. If I had been able to concentrate I would have had it memorized.

The vault door swung open and I was met by a sight I suddenly found to be beautiful. Thick bags of white, stacked four high, three wide. The glands in my mouth poured pools of liquid under my tongue. I swallowed it discreetly, and cleared my throat.

"Have you sent samples into the lab yet?" I asked innocently.

"Nah. I've been lazy, I know. I really should. Hey!" I jumped because my hand had been unconsciously tracing the corner of the open locker door. "Would you mind taking the sample up for me?"

"You'd trust me to do that?" I replied automatically and cursed myself for it.

"Sure, you busted the S.O.B.s, why wouldn't I trust you?"

"Okay." Craig left me alone with the dangerous white bags as he went to get a sample baggie and a scoop. I felt nervous standing there alone, like he would suspect me of stealing some when he came back. When he returned he just gave me a smile and set about scooping a small portion into the smaller bag. He handed it to me and I numbly mad my way to the base of the stairs. Craig thanked me on my way back. I answered him quietly.

Usually when I am holding evidence I feel dirty, like I've been the one who used it, be it a weapon or a drug. However, when I put that little plastic sack in the front pocket of my jeans, I felt powerful. I was the master. Of myself. Of this precinct. Nothing would bother me today. The only problem that did bother me in the two hours I neglected to hand the sack over to the lab, was how to keep it in my pocket and not get in trouble for it.

It came to me as I'm sure many famous epiphanies come to people, I suppose, in the shitter. I had just finished my business, zipped up my fly and felt that little package in my left pocket, and I remembered something someone had written about having an envelope of coke in their pocket. "It's like this tiny powder hard-on that wants attention."(1) Except he had been in a hospital bathroom while his best friend was dying. Not at work. In a police station. I turned to flush the toilet when it hit me. Say, hypothetically, I dropped the bag in the toilet, accidentally of course. Craig would have to give me a new sample to give to the lab. The two-hour delay? Embarrassment. How embarrassing it must be to drop something in the toilet, much less to admit it to someone! (2)

I was going to do just that, and I sure as hell would get away with it too. I smirked to myself and suddenly the bag was out and open in my shaking hands. My fingers dipped into the grains gently. They clung to my skin like eager little children begging for a treat. Without a thought in my head I made them my treats, I stuck those dappled fingertips against my teeth and sucked the powder off.

The metallic taste, like blood and plant-life, made me crave more of the flavor. It was like those little pleasures in taste you have as a kid, like sucking on metal keys no matter how many times your parents tell you it's unsanitary. My mouth was almost immediately numb, and I reveled in it. The small bag was replaced in my pocket and I made my way back down to the vaults.

"Hey, back again? Twice in one day! This is a rare pleasure, Laytner." Craig was beaming up at me.

"Yeah, well…" I drifted off and tried to play an embarrassed look across my face.

"Uh-oh, what happened?" He raised his eyebrows at me.

"I, uh, misplaced it." I felt like my trembling limbs were giving me away.

"Misplaced it where?" He looked genuinely confused.

"Well," I tried to blush which wasn't hard, my heart was pounding my blood through my veins so harshly I felt like my whole body should be flushed. "You see, I was in the men's room-"

"Okay." Craig(3) cut me off with a good-natured wave of his hand. "I get it. Here." He whirled in his chair, pulled out a baggie, the scoop, and handed them to me. "Go get the lab some more."

I stood for a moment, holding the scoop and bag dumbly.

"What's the combination?"

"2-26-14." Craig answered off-handedly. "Don't keep the lab waiting." I rushed back to locker 92, rolled out the combo, and the door swung open with a satisfied creak of its hinges. I filled my little bag as full as I could so it would sit a centimeter high if laid out flat. I flattened it and slid it into my right pocket.

This time when I left I went straight to the lab and dropped off the smaller bag in my left pocket.

Back at my desk I was given a portion of the paperwork to do by a still-flustered Ryo. I went to work on it without complaint, finishing my portion before Ryo finished the page he was on.

Ironically, we got a call for a shoplifter, and were sent after him. I caught the brat like I had claimed was possible after chasing him twelve blocks, over three walls and through two garbage-strewn alleys.

Ryo didn't know my little secret. He didn't know about the package in my pocket. I always thought he could read me like a book. He wasn't even suspicious.

'I could totally get away with this.' I thought on the way back with the perp kicking the cage behind our heads. 'I could be new-and-improved-Dee: Super cop.'

I would pull it off under all of their noses like I did today. I would get away with it.

TBC…

(1) This quote is directly from DRY. The book by Augusten Burroughs, one of my favorite authors. I own all his books, Running with Scissors, Magical Thinking, DRY., Sellevision, and Possible Side Effects. Plus Running with Scissors on DVD. DRY. is about his battle with alcoholism, it spans across 10 years of his life. It is truly inspiring and my favorite of his books.

(2) Such a situation occurs in Alex Sanchez's book, Rainbow Road, which is the third after Rainbow Boys and Rainbow High. The situation is that Nelson had dropped his cell phone in a toilet during a road trip, and when they get to their destination he meets a boy who admits he had dropped his cell phone in the toilet. Ha ha ha. You had to be there.

(3) By the way, I made this guy up. I made him too happy for the story he feels out of place. Craig was my second choice for my name. Chad won out coz it's more masculine, but I'd date someone named Craig in heartbeat. Someting about the name reminds me of sex. (It could be a character I wrote in a story who was nearly a sex-fiend, who was named Craig)((He was a coke-addict with his boyfriend Alex)).

A/N: DUN-DUN-DUN! Uh-oh, Dee's gone cra-Z! What have I gots up ma sleevies for the next chapter??? Tune in next time to find out! I will definitely have the next chap. up before the week is out. Sorry I didn't get this one up earlier, the last chap ended with a nail-biter! Xoxoxoxox to those two who have reviewed and those who continue to add as favs/story alert. Your love and support fuels my passion for the story. Especially how difficult this is to write even though I'm more than a year clean off the coke! (April 12th '06 was my last line!) -Chaddieboi

Ps-with-drawl is a bitch!!

S.W.A.K.