3: Never On Zenith Have Spacecraft Used Steam Engines
"Holy bucket of kappa crap," Tor swore softly. She tugged on the cuffed hems of her khaki safari jumpsuit, then pulled on the collar. The safari-styled jumpsuit had sharp creases pressed down the front, and was impeccably ironed. Tor had immediately crushed the perfect ironing by sitting down carelessly and unbuttoning the top three buttons to reveal her black tank top. A printed cotton scarf was wound around her waist, accentuating her curves (Cass thought that they really didn't need the extra accentuating, but who was she to say anything?). Jake's blue long-sleeved shirt showed underneath the abominable garment, while Phoenix had forced a brightly printed t-shirt over the top. Cass had sighed at them, pinching the bridge of her nose as they struggled to alter the aesthetic of the bland uniform.
"I know," Raze said, looking over the Black Mud Swamp. Palladium sneezed and shrieked as an insect crawled over the toe of his boot.
"Damn, for a supposed Field Studies professor, Palladium sure is a pansy," Jake muttered.
"A real pansy," Raze agreed.
"This field exercise is designed to test your innate capability to listen to the voice of nature. Your task is to navigate your way through this swamp to the Crystal Clearing," Palladium instructed, still quivering. "But here's the catch. No magic is allowed!"
A lizard scurried around his feet, and Palladium shrieked, jumping a foot into the air. A dragonfly whizzed past his ear, and he yelped, flapping his hands as several birds and butterflies made movements of attack in his direction. Finally, he seemed to decide that he'd had enough. Palladium vanished in a poof of lemon-yellow smoke.
"Ack," Phoenix spluttered, waving her hand in front of her face. "Did that smell, or what?"
"Palladium sure needs to work on his perfume," Raze scoffed.
"Guys," Cass said, "let's move out."
"Soldiers, march!" Tor joked, with a mocking salutation.
"Boys, we're trusting you with the transportation of this hunting troll," Codatorta said. His face was creased into a stern expression.
"If you bungle this mission, we might consider pulling you from active duty," Saladin admonished. Tyler groaned, until Winter clapped his good hand over the other boy's mouth.
"We seriously thought that you would be ready for a real mission," Codatorta said, "but with the situation in Magix...maybe you really aren't ready to be the first and youngest sophomore squad on active duty."
Jehan all but flew out of his chair. "We'll do it right this time, sir!"
"You'd better," Codatorta said. "Now, go!"
The squadron ran out of the office, hanging onto dignity by a thread.
"Damnit," Caspian swore, "Now our rep as the one and only first sophomore squad on duty is hanging! Us, S1! The freaking legendary S1!"
"I can't believe they're considering pulling us after one incident," Tyler grumbled. "One tiny incident!"
"The tiny incident broke my arm," Winter muttered darkly, shooting a glare at his no doubt incompetent squad-mates. "Let's just go. It's just a transportation mission, no big."
Tyler shrugged, while Kaien pulled Winter into the hangar bay.
"What's the worst that can happen?"
"Nothing, apart from getting shot down."
Raziel shivered. There was something ominously prophetic about that joke.
"Scatter!"
Tor leapt to the bank, pulling Phoenix and Raze after her. The gas bubbles forming on the surface of the swamp were growing to an alarming size. Aerin shrieked, and Cass pulled her out of the swamp. Jake had already scrambled behind a hollow log. Tor leapt over said log and ducked behind it as Jake threw a branch into the bubbling mud.
Incidentally, of course, the bubbles of gas exploded in fireballs, setting off a chain reaction that scorched the trees and blackened the banks of the mud pond.
"Incinerus gas?" Aerin yelled. "Oh, come on!"
"Watch it, tech-head!" Jake shouted. "Whipping-vines!"
Tor ducked and grabbed one of the undulating vines, crying out when its barbs cut into her hands. Aerin tripped, and vines darted toward her. Jake pushed her out of the way, and the two girls tumbled and rolled. With a yelp, Phoenix dodged the attack of three oncoming vines, while Cass hopped madly to avoid the vines snaking beneath her feet.
"It's like Dance Dance Revolution!" Tor shouted, crushing a vine with her combat boot. "Only deadly!"
"Gah!"
"Let's get out of here!" Phoenix yelled.
"Look!" Tor shouted, ducking another whipping vine. She pointed at the reddish aircraft flying above them. Its side sported the Red Fountain crest.
"Jeez, I'm beginning to suspect that Red Fountain is stalking us," Aerin muttered, stomping on a particularly nasty vine. With a grunt, she twisted her heel back and forth, grinding it into the dirt.
"Come on, let's scramble!" Jake shouted, hurdling over and under whipping vines. The girls followed her lead, tumbling into a clearer area.
"Aircrafts don't use steam engines, right?" Tor asked, inspecting her various scrapes and cuts. Jake dribbled water on her skinned knees, dabbing at them with a white broderie anglaise handkerchief. She stained it beyond redemption, cleaning the dirt from the wounds.
"Of course not, you dimwit," Aerin snapped, brushing down the front of her jumpsuit. "Why on Zenith do you ask?"
"Because that aircraft is trailing an awfully unhealthy amount of smoke," Tor pointed out.
"Oh, dear."
"After that ship!" Phoenix and Raze yelled, taking off into the bushes. Tor swore.
"I don't know why I put up with you people," she muttered. Tor leapt a conveniently uplifted tree-root. She glanced back and saw the root sulkily disappearing back into the ground. Tor scowled at its previous location. Raze tugged on her arm, running past her.
"Watch out!" Tor shouted. Raze ducked, just in time to avoid a hastily dropped tree branch.
"I swear, these trees, no, this whole swamp, is out to get us," Tor muttered. The tree branch that nearly hit Raze swung her way. Tor batted it out of her face.
"Go away," she said firmly. Just because she was a metal fairy didn't mean she couldn't order plants around.
"Duck and cover!" Jake hollered, throwing herself to the ground and covering her head with her arms. The Red Fountain aircraft passed uncomfortably close overhead, skimming the treetops and making a very, very bumpy landing in what seemed to be a clearing up ahead. They all winced when they heard the sound of the craft touching down.
Touching down was, in this case, a euphemism.
Of course, said landing was followed by the sound of various things exploding, instantaneously catching fire or just generally going kaput. There was a fearsome roar, and the sound of screeching metal as some creature presumably tore the ship's metal hide wide open. The ground shook; Jake dropped again.
"Localised earthquake!" she yelled, mostly to herself. Tor glared at a tree trunk and grabbed it to stabilise herself. Once the shaking of the ground stopped, the girls could finally hear curses filling the air.
"Oh, pox-rotted, scummer-licking-"
"-beep beeping beep beep censored beeping-"
"-{CENSORED} son of a {CENSORED} {CENSORED}-"
"-STUFF THIS SHIT!"
"Damn," Tor whistled, "I thought Mom had beat all the swears outta him already."
"Seems not," Cass responded, with much in the way of amusement. Jake scowled and stormed out of the forest, startling a very agitated group of Specialists.
"I'm telling you, Winter, it's all your bloody fault! No, you just had to make that prophetic joke, you ludicrous dunce!" Caspian was very pink, or as pink as someone of his colouring could be. Cass blinked and choked down a giggle, seeing her brother shouting in the red-head's face with arms akimbo.
"Say it, don't spray it," Winter retorted, waving his good arm just as vigorously.
"You ignorant fool!"
"You, you incorrigible abomination!"
"You monstrosity!"
"You barbarian!"
"Illiterate ape!"
"Latrine-dwelling sea cucumber!"
Kaien blinked. "That made no sense at all."
"ARGH!" they both shouted, "STAY OUTTA THIS!"
"Can we please focus on the matter at hand?" Jehan shouted, conking both of them on the head. He groaned tiredly. "If we don't get that hunting troll back, we won't be running missions till after we graduate. We're hanging by a thread- still, with this mess-up, we might still be put back to basic training and cleaning out the dragon stables!"
"No, not the stables," Tyler gasped, trembling visibly. "That scarred me for life."
"Look, no-one told you to stand under that dragon's anus, alright?" Tor snapped. "You guys, just get on with it already!"
"Hey, it's Tor!" Raziel grinned, poking his head out of the ship's open hatch.
"Ugh," Tor scoffed, "Males."
Caspian and Winter were still at loggerheads, of course; Cass grabbed their collars and knocked their heads together while Jake got the details about the sticky sitch from Kaien. Raziel grinned and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly as he held up a bunch of shot cables through the hole blown through the ship's side. Phoenix pointed at the cables, spluttering.
"So you're saying you let a hunting troll loose?" Tor crossed her arms, eyebrow arching elegantly.
"No, I'm saying we got shot down and then the hunting troll escaped," Jehan snapped. He ran a hand through his hair in frustration. "We didn't want the troll to escape, but I guess hunting trolls aren't telepathically connected to the whims of Red Fountain sophomores!"
"Excuse me for asking," Tor snapped back, eyes narrowed in an expression of supreme annoyance.
(Aside, Aerin asked Tyler how he could be Tor's twin and a year above them at the same time. Tyler explained that Red Fountain, in essence, covered the last year of middle school and the three years of high school that were standard everywhere else. That meant while Red Fountain second years were considered sophomores in the school, they would have been freshmen elsewhere. Alfea simply skipped over term sophomore, instead using the freshmen, junior and senior years to describe their grade differentiations.)
Jehan sighed and rubbed his eyes.
"Sorry, Tor," he said, "I didn't mean to snap. I'm just stressed, that's all."
Tor grinned crookedly. "Good. If you weren't, I'd be doubting your sanity."
Jehan grinned.
"Alright, let's get to tracking this hunting troll," Tor announced. "Girls and boys, muster up-"
"-we gotta troll to catch!" Raze cheered, punching the air.
"It seems we were correctly informed," the brown-haired figure said, twirling a lock of hair around her finger. The enormous, blue-skinned hunting troll lumbered toward them, snuffling. Its eyes were dull and unintelligent-looking.
"Shade, the shawl, please," the girl with the bluish-white hair said. The brown haired girl proffered the said shawl while the other girl snickered.
"Spark, enough of that," she admonished.
"Oh, Frost," Spark pouted. "Let me have my fun."
"Fun will come later," Frost snapped. The hunting troll had approached them. It snuffled, blinking at them, before bowing its head. Frost held the shawl out to it.
"Find," she said, "and destroy."
"I don't like the look of those babies," Tyler muttered to Tor. Tor tsked.
"Quietus carnivorous," she said, "Prone to eating loudmouths. They can't stand people kicking up a racket."
"Let's hurry up!" Jehan called, fidgeting restlessly.
"Shut up!" Tor hissed. The carnivorous vines shifted, snaking toward Jehan. Tor glared at the plants. They backed away slowly.
"Come on," Jake whispered, tugging Kaien and Winter along.
They were soon out of the thicket. Cass and Aerin sighed in relief. They'd had enough of the killer plants for a day. Scratch that, for a full semester.
"Alrighty," Phoenix grinned, hands on hips, "Time to vanquish some rapids!"
"I don't know about that," Raziel said, eyeing the bobbing crossing-pads doubtfully. "They don't look awfully stable."
"This calls for some leaping!" Phoenix cheered, ignoring his doubt.
"Ha, I remember that photo of Tor and Tyler in tights, do you? They were in first grade, and Tor had dragged Tyler to ballet class," Raze laughed, nudging Cass. Cass giggled.
"Tor was even wearing a tutu, a pink chiffon one," Cass said, smiling broadly. Tor spluttered and gagged.
"Pink? Bleurgh," she said, making a disgusted face and sticking out her tongue.
"Leap like a little deer, my darlings!" Phoenix sang, leaping onto one of the bobbing miniature islands. As she leapt, she called again, "Leap for the sky!"
"No effing way," Tor called, sticking out her tongue as she jumped onto one of the islands. Raziel shrugged, and he followed them across.
"This is pretty fun!" Cass shouted over the roar of the river. Caspian whooped and landed, before jumping again as Jehan took his old spot. Kaien windmilled, wobbling forwards and backwards before regaining his balance and moving again.
Phoenix was the first to reach the shore, closely followed by Tor, Tyler (who had to be at least equal, if not better than his twin sister), and Raze. Once the others had safely landed on the other bank, they continued their search for the troll.
"How do you know the troll went this way?" Kaien asked Jake. Jake shrugged.
"Instinct. And, the fact that trolls have serious B. O.," she muttered. Kaien grimaced.
"I think we're getting closer," Aerin said. "The voice of nature is kind of pointing that way. It sounds wishy-washy, but, yeah..."
"When Mother Nature wants to be heard, she wants to be heard," Tor finished. "I know."
"That B.O. Is getting seriously strong," Phoenix said, pinching her nose.
"Yeah, and nature's voice is shrieking at me," Tor said. Tyler was wincing. "Tyler's always been more sensitive to the voice of nature than me."
"Ow, it's really hurting now," Tyler said, "the negative vibes are really- ouch!"
The troll's smell was unmistakeable. Its stench was followed by an equally unmistakable roar, and a downright obvious scream.
"Troll at twelve o'clock!"
The giant troll turned, snarling at them. Its vast oral cavity was full of spit. Said spit went flying at them when it roared. Raziel looked at Jehan and cursed. They grabbed their phantoblades, and flicked them out with one swift gesture.
"Form up!" Jehan shouted as the troll bellowed again. Caspian, Tyler and Kaien fanned out, circling the troll. Jake ran and filled the gap in their formation. Kaien twirled his double-bladed staff. Caspian grinned ferally.
"Addle-shackles?" Jehan called. Winter held a pair of oversized shackles up.
"Alright!" Jehan yelled, "Raze, Tor, get those girls outta there! Tyler, use your laser strings and immobilise it as much as possible. Caspian, Raziel, Kaien, pin it while me'n Winter get the shackles on! Jake, watch our backs!""
The troll roared, stamping. Its eyes were wide with mad rage. It presumably did not like the look of all the phantoblades out.
"Go, go, go!" Tor shouted, herding their terrified classmates away from the troll. They were backed up against a sandstone cliff, which made it difficult for the girls to get at them unnoticed. Two of the girls, frozen with fear, Tor dragged away easily. Raze tried to get the other one to move.
"No! Why would you help me, Solaria princess?" she snapped, "Are you just going to humiliate me?"
"You festering canker-blossom!" Raze hissed. "That's a real live troll, and unless you want to be troll-bait, just follow, alright? I don't know what your problem is, but now is not the time!"
"Aren't you just like your mother?" she screamed, "You're a rude and, and uncouth selfish-"
The troll roared, fixing its eyes upon them. The girl, presumably Amaryl's daughter, screamed and broke for the woods. Raze dodged, rolling as she hit the ground to avoid being hit by the troll's enormous fist. It made a grab for Phoenix, a scrap of black fabric dwarfed in its hand. It brought the scrap to its nose, and sniffed it.
"You!" it roared, exhausting its vocabulary. Its eyes were full of a primal fire, fixated on Phoenix.
"Me?" she shrieked. "That's my goddamn shawl!"
"This is-" Raziel shouted, dodging the troll's oncoming blow, "-work of-"
Tyler's laser strings wrapped around the troll's arms, neck and legs. He yanked, crying out as the troll went toppling. Kaien, Caspian and Raziel leapt onto the troll, trying to pin its thrashing limbs. Tyler reeled in, tightening his hold and restraining the monster some.
"Shit!" Caspian swore, struggling with one of the monster's arms. Raze threw herself into the fray, followed by Cass. Cass grunted, slamming her full weight onto the monster's arm. It bellowed, arching its back and bucking off the ground. It roared in fury, throwing Cass, Kaien and Raze into the cliff. With one arm, it lunged for Phoenix. Tyler pulled back with his laser strings, throwing his weight backwards. Tor grabbed him from behind, pulling back with him. Aerin grabbed Tor and the three heaved.
"Argh," Tyler grunted, feeling his grip on the laser string glove slip. His palms were sweaty, and his arms were screaming with the effort of holding the troll back.
"Winter!" Jehan yelled, "The shackles!"
Winter ran forward with a war cry, looping the shackles the troll's free arm. It blinked, and struggled to shake off the metal cuff, slamming into Winter and hurling him into a tree.
Jehan grabbed the other side of the cuff, yelling at Caspian and Raziel. They dragged the troll's hands together, and finally clipped the cuff on.
The blue troll stopped dead, its eyes rolling wildly as it slowly staggered into the cliff.
"Kaien," Jake hollered.
"What?"
"Do you have a metal object, more than a metre long, good for hitting with?"
"Yes, my telescopic bo staff," he replied, eyeing her with suspicion. "Why?"
"Give," Jake ordered. Kaien complied.
Jake clambered up the troll and fearlessly hit it over the head. It moaned a bit, and she hit it again. Everyone winced when they head the clang of the metal. The troll's eyes rolled up in its head and it sagged, unconscious.
The Specialists collapsed to the ground, exhausted. Cass and Raze slowly picked themselves up, and Raze limped over to Winter, who was whimpering softly at the base of the tree he had been thrown into. Tyler, Tor and Aerin fell backward, while Caspian and Raziel bumped fists and flopped ungracefully to the ground.
"This can't be good for my arm," Winter hissed, voice thick with pain. Raze crouched and settled his good arm over her shoulder, heaving him off the ground.
"You, you bumbling fools!" someone shouted. The girl who had been shouting at Raze earlier emerged from the thicket, her hair snarled and tangled with twigs and leaves. "You couldn't even fight this, this, ludicrous beast? How can you call yourselves Specialists?"
Jake saluted Jehan.
"Permission to speak, sir."
"Speak, Sergeant Jake."
"Permission to sock 'er one, sir."
"Permission granted, Jakey. Give her all you got."
Jake socked her one.
"Shut up and take your bull spit elsewhere," Tor spat as Amaryl's daughter moaned on the ground. "I'd like to see you try and wrestle a hunting troll like we just did."
She proceeded to spit upon the offending fairy.
"Just what is going on here?" Palladium and Codatorta appeared in an atrocious cloud of yellow smoke. Codatorta looked positively fit to blow.
"Aw, shit."
"Girls, I regret to inform you that you will receive zero points for punctuality," Professor Palladium said, "but your efforts in the assistance of the Red Fountain Specialists earn you fifteen points for generosity, fifteen points for initiative, twenty-five points for the ability to listen to the voice of nature, thirty-five points for courage, forty points for superb troll-wrangling ability and fifty points for sheer, unadulterated insanity. That brings you to 180 points, by far the highest total in the class."
He turned to the supremely disrespectful girl that had been screaming at Raze.
"Miss Lisyl, you too receive no points for punctuality. You do receive thirty points for the ability to listen to the voice of nature, but I will have to give you a deduction of fifteen points for disrespect, twenty points for ungratefulness, twenty five points for lack of courage, and forty points for lack of skill," Palladium listed, counting off with his fingers. "That brings you to minus seventy points."
Lisyl sputtered and waved her arms wildly when the rest of the class waved at her.
"Well," Tor smirked, "that was fun. Care to call it a date?"
The girls groaned.
"How was that romantic at all?" Phoenix moaned.
They collapsed into laughter.
"Yes, I know we've had our fair share of monsters," Tecna said at the webcam, watching the five other Winx girls' anxious faces. "But that vecelius abrascus wasn't even native to the five hundred kilometre radius around Downtown Magix! And that hunting troll, based on the reports that I managed to get- It was on a find and destroy mission, and it had Phoenix's shawl. This is just addign up to one big, ugly picture, and here we are, sitting back and doing blessed little-"
"Tec, we have responsibilities," Bloom said gently, "We can't just storm out and go on a wild monster-hunt- the diplomats for Aezeri are due any minute-"
"I'm stuck around Solaria for the next two weeks," Stella said. "Can't go. We're in the critical part of our negotiations with Elusiva, and you know how temperamental they are."
Flora nodded sagely. "I'll see what I can do. I have a little more flex than you guys, what with-"
"People change," Musa said, pushing her hair out of her face. "But we never though it'd be our sweet, vegan Flora-"
"-and now look. She's the mastermind behind STIO," Layla chimed, smirking.
"And we all know about STIO," Musa finished, grinning cheekily.
"I know. Look how my children turned out," Flora said, smiling wryly. A door slid open behind her, and Flora turned. There was a vague whisper of conversation, and a blonde girl in black combat fatigues bowed slightly before presenting Flora with a stack of papers in a manila folder.
"Alright," Flora still said, looking behind her. "Thank you, Angel."
"So," Tecna said, studying the faces of the five other women. "What will we do?"
Flora tapped her pen against her chin. "I have a couple of candidates in mind."
"I know Faragonda will be watching out for the girls," Bloom said. A strange expression crossed her face. Age had not dimmed her beauty- instead, it was a proud, decisive kind of attractiveness that years of experience and power had carved into the sweet curves of her youth. "It seems like just a second ago, doesn't it, girls?"
"Yeah, when we were running around blasting monsters and Faragonda was looking out for us," Stella added.
The girls smiled and nodded at each other. One by one, the screens went black. Tecna switched to another window and typed in a prompt.
"Vecelisu abrascus," she muttered, "A distant cousin of the leodragus..."
Three and a half light-years away, on the other side of Linphea, Flora pressed a com button. A holographic screen flashed into life, and Helia turned to look at her.
"Hmm?"
"Helia, I 'm calling in Mercy."
He looked at her incredulously. "Mercy?"
She nodded.
Hey guys. This is Phoenix of Melody~
Nickname: Phee. But only Riley and Tyler call me that. XP
Favourite Food: Cake? Or maybe Korean instant noodles. Yukgaejang ramen ;)
Favourite Colour: Heh... lime green.
Favourite Hobby: Jamming to good tunes and taking photos. And I may just be making the shift into being a serial dater... probably me just overreacting.
Favourite Pet: I'm allergic to cats, so that's out. I do have this enormous long snake. He's completely harmless, but still, my mom shrieks when she sees him out of his tank.
Ideal Boyfriend: A cute-and-innocent-face ulzzang boy.
Best Friends: Jake of Eraklyon and Raze of Solaria.
Favourite Movies: Hayao Miyazaki movies, especially Howl's Moving Castle.
Loves: Doodling, blogging and taking polaroids with Raziel.
Hates: The New Trix, and being treated like a little kid. Damn.
Favourite Music: Vocaloid, techno, dance music. My goal is to master rapping Ura-Omote Lovers. Toushindai no ura-omote!
Favourite Shoes: Go-go boots. Haha, no I kid. Rubber flip-flops in bright colours with beads on them.
Favourite Subject: Potionology. It's just like cooking.
Favourite Spell: Lightning Sphere.
Catchphrase: I. Am. Ulzzang.