Disclaimer: Chrono's MY rampant sex monkey! I only share him with Rosette. . . And I'm a liar, too. (-;
Author's Note: First, my apology to kitsune-firedragon- I meant to say 'Latin'. Somehow it just came out
'Italian'. (sweat drop) Did I ever mention that I write these chapters at, like, one in the morning? Heh heh. . . Ugh. . .
XD Anyway, yea! Here I am! I'm actually really enjoying updating this fic because it has no plot whatsoever, which means I can just have fun with it! And oooh, am I having fun. . . And it'll just get more fun as Rosette and Chrono grow closer! (Innuendo is my friend. . . XD XD XD)
Well, that said, let's get this show on the road!
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"Joshua-sama. . . ?"
"Eh?" The boy turned happily from the glowing box on his right, where he was cheerfully turning dials. "Oh, Fiore!" he chirped perkily upon recognition of the quiet maid. "Lovely- I can't wait to show you! Lookit this!" Adjusting his head- which, for some unexplainable, birth-defect of a reason, was adorned in a pair of twin horns- he began flipping the switches on his TV again. "I get over 700 channels!"
". . . That's wonderful, Joshua-sama," she congratulated, expression rather flat. "However, I must interrupt this. . . fun. . . to inform you that your sister is missing. She was last seen stalking off towards the woods. . . And she hasn't returned since."
Joshua chuckled, twisting his body until his face was underneath a propped leg, one arm above his head and the other underneath his planted foot. "So she ran away, did she? No matter. I'm sure she's fine. My big sister is quite the litt- hey! Look! Another twenty channels! HAHA- No more outrageous Roadrunner charges for me! Boo yeah!"
". . . Most excellent, sir." Fiore bowed low, about to leave- before noticing that he'd somehow managed to pick up a Bulgarian soap opera. Hmm. . . Sitting delicately on the edge of a chair, she began to watch the program with her master. "Most excellent indeed."
X
'Damn, it's cold.' Shivering as the afternoon sky began to dye itself shades of indigo and navy, Rosette half-heartedly wished she hadn't left her ugly dress on that old stump. She may have been picky, but she wasn't stupid- looking dumb wasn't as awful as freezing to death. With a mind-blowing sneeze, the princess had to grab hold of a branch to keep herself from toppling over. 'Double dammit,' she sniffed, berating herself for not bringing along a hanky. She really needed one, now. . . Gross.
Sighing loudly, she started rapidly rubbing her exposed forearms- hiking through the freshly mowed clearing in hopes of finding a resting place. Anything would do- she'd even take a dragon-infested cave at this point. At least being lit on fire would keep her toasty. . . 'Since when did summer nights get so frigid?' she couldn't help but wonder. 'Someone must be out to get me. . .'
Another sneeze.
'Someone's talking behind my back, as well. . .' Teeth chattering, she secretly hopped it was her family. Maybe by now they'd be out looking for her? Or at least a little worried. . . ? Perhaps. . . ?
X
"So, Viktor is actually married to Nema- who is his third ex's cousin's brother's sister's fiancé's best friend, but is fooling around with Carmen- who's an FBI agent in disguise and is really after Shvin- but is also secretly engaged to Alexandria, who's pregnant with Juan's twins- one of whom is blind, the other deaf- while still dealing with her secret brushing of breast cancer as her mother dies a slow and painful death from a mysterious bout of the bubonic plague."
"I see. . ." Joshua pursed his lips, munching on some popcorn while still holding his strange position. "And you got all this. . . ?"
"From the first three minutes and forty two seconds, Joshua-sama," Fiore murmured, taking another sip of her coffee.
"Fascinating. . ."
X
. . . Or perhaps not. Knowing her family, anyway.
"This is just my luck. . ." Rosette grumbled, a few frustrated tears stinging the corners of her eyes. "Of all the lousy days to get cold weather. . . Or, should I say, of all the lousy days to run aw- OW! SHIT!"
Hissing loudly in sudden shock and pain, the princess reared back angrily- not having noticed the huge, cylindrical tower until she'd run smack into it (Until her nose and the brick met, anyway). Talk about lost in thought. . . "Oi!" she roared, pounding on the hard stone with a frosted fist, sniffling. "This is a lawsuit waiting to happen, you know!"
Nothing.
"Yo!"
Still nothing.
A vein throbbed on Rosette's forehead. "THAT WAS YOUR CUE, IDIOT!"
"Wha. . . ?" A sleepy voice yawned from over fifty feet above her- a boy, by the sound of it. Odd. Weren't girls usually the targets of those evil, tower-entrapping fairies? Whatever. (Maybe she'd misread the script.) "Huh? Oh yeah. . . Who's ther?" Crash! "Crap! Oh- hold on a minute! Stupid koala. . ."
Rosette waited, mildly surprise, as some dull shuffling echoed from the depths of the building. 'Wow, I found an idiot. . . . In a tower. . . In the heart of the Forest of Nowhere. . . In the middle of the night. How. . . Cliché. The authoress of this story must be so pleased with herself. Creative writing my a-'
A soft shattering reverberated through the world as the fourth wall suffered some breakage, but the authoress managed to patch it up before any rabid fan girls could attack. "Leave the fourth wall alone!" the authoress yelled at the Chrono Crusade cast, shaking a frustrated fist in a random direction. "My insurance won't cover it and I already have plans for this month's allowance!" With a snap of her fingers, the story continued. . .
After a few moments, a small glowing flickered into existence; a single candle, resting on the only windowsill of the whole building. There wasn't enough light to see who or what the castle (of sorts) was hiding- but the miniscule beam was sufficient when it came to telling her which direction she should complain. Magnificent.
"Ahem- all right then," the boy blew out his cheeks, dusting off his hands. "Who's down there? I know you're still there- I can hear your teeth chattering. Cold?"
"Freezing, actua- Hey!" Rosette snapped, face flushing. "That's just rude!"
"No," he retorted, sounding mildly amused- but mostly annoyed. "What's rude is waking me up in the middle of the night to yell about lawsuits. Couldn't you see the tower while you were walking? It's kinda large, you know. Perhaps you just need glasses."
"It's pitch black out here!" the princess argued. "I can't see my hand in front of my face! How was I supposed to see your damn brick-thingy!"
Silence.
". . . Brick-thingy. . . ?"
"Yeah!" she snarled, so enraged that she didn't realize how stupid she sounded. Believe it or not, that happened a lot with Rosette. "And another thing! Don't yell at the person who's gonna sue ya! You'll just be out of even more money, in the end!"
"But I don't have any money to begin with," the voice replied lightly. "If I did, I wouldn't be using one candle, would I? And I wouldn't be suffering with satellite either, that's for sure. . ." He trailed off, ending in a quite grumble.
Rosette considered this, a harsh wind blasting through. The candle went out.
". . . Oh, applesauce." A sigh. "Gotta go get another match. . ."
"Wait!" the princess called a bit desperately, not wanting to admit it but afraid of being left alone in the cold. Well, more alone than she already was, anyway. "I'll make you a deal!"
The rustling of the boy's clothing stopped.
"If- if you let me up there," Rosette began, not quite sure where she was going with this, but too cold to care, "I won't sue you!"
"I wouldn't care if you did," he returned a bit flatly. "Remember? No money? All I have to give is my sock puppet. His name is Ralph, and if you steal him, he won't like you. Even IF you give him jellybeans."
. . . Right. . . Someone was suffering from cabin- pardon- tower fever, weren't they?
"Look, you can keep your dumb puppet if you just let me in! Please!" she all but begged, performing the distant cousin of the 'I gotta pee!' dance: the 'I'm freezing, so let me in you heartless bastard!' jig. In fact, she was hopping up and down so loudly, the sound traveled easily up to the tower's small apartment.
And in that apartment, Chrono sighed. 'Man. . .' he pouted. 'I don't wanna let some rabid royalty-seeker in here! He'll just go on and on about his stupid plans and stories. . . I can't stand another fairytale!' But he knew in his heart he couldn't just let the idiot freeze. . . Even if he was almost more annoying then that Remington guy. (And, frighteningly, even more feminine. He hadn't thought it was possible for a knight to have such a high-pitched voice!)
"Oh. . . All right. . ."
As the words flew from the window like a whisper, Rosette perked up- feeling warmer instantaneously. "Really! Thank you!"
Racing foreword, (and smashing right into the wall once more,) the girl began frantically groping for the door-
Only to find her hand connect with a warm, silky rope. At least, she assumed it was rope. . . But since when had ropes been made from such soft material? And when had they begun to smell like apple blossoms. . . ? She gave it a sharp tug. It seemed authentic enough. . . Though why the guy above her had yelped at her touch, she had no idea. 'Weirdo.' ". . . I suppose using the front way is asking too much?"
"Yes," the impatient boy's voice answered simply, though he sounded strained. "So you gonna climb up or wait there all night?"
"Gimmie a minute!" Rosette retorted, bracing her feet against the brick and beginning the long walk up the side of the wall, using the rope to pull her. She was suddenly glad she couldn't see anything- if she could, the height probably would her frightened her half to death. "Geez. . ."
"Eurgh. . . ow!. . . Erk!" The sound effects continued, doubling in volume every time she repositioned herself or pulled particularly hard on the rope. It was a bit irritating, but at least the noises let her know how close she was to the top. Just a little bit further. . . "OUCH! Hey, watch it, okay?"
"Yeah, yeah, don't be such a crybaby!" Rosette admonished, taking the final few steps. "I mean, it's not like the rope is- connected to- to your. . . your . . ." She froze in shock as her fingers clenched around something quite obviously not a rope of any kind- it was a scalp. HIS scalp.
And that wasn't all. Connected to that face- hovering mere centimeters from her own sapphire eyes- were a pair of ruby pools- widening when a stray beam of moonlight, as if on cue, managed to break through the clouds. Their noses brushed. Rosette's mouth went dry, realizing that she was gripping the boy's head quite tightly, pulling it towards her own; his chin tilted upward to lock gazes, but his face nestled between her breasts. As her fingers laced themselves more firmly in his violet locks, his own hands clenched the white material covering the back of her thighs; trying to keep her from falling.
". . ."
Faces flushed. Both gulped.
Blink blink.
"Um. . . H-hi?" the boy offered, seemingly shocked by the. . . developments. . . of the situation. 'Guess this. . . er. . . explains why the "knight" had such a feminine voice. . .' Irony was either his best friend or worst enemy. In this case, he couldn't decide which.
The girl did not react right away; she seemed to have reached a state of horrifyingly embarrassing alarm. "I-I just- you- in my- EEEEEEEEK!"
Screeching loud enough to wake a town, Rosette made to push rapidly away from the stranger- only to remember that she had no where to go but down. Her stomach dropped, and (thanks to the law that even criminals must obey) she began to quickly follow suit. "EEEEEEEEEE- eh?"
With a breathless gasp, watching her feet dangle in (what appeared to be) an endless black vortex, Rosette pulled a second slow blink; turned her face upward. "Ah. . . . ?" The boy had instinctively grabbed her hand and was yanking her gradually upward; face strained, claw-like nails digging into her palm. His assistance wasn't very graceful, granted (he'd already cracked her skull against the stone a few times in the last few seconds), but it was better to suffer a few bruises than a broken neck.
. . . Gee, she'd been having to deal with the lesser of the two evils a lot lately, hadn't she? Oh well. Life's a bitch until you die. And she wasn't in the mood to die yet. . .
"Oi!" he grounded out through clenched teeth, managing to heave her painfully over the edge of the window. Positioning the girl on the sill so that she was in a slight crouch, Chrono used one hand to keep her steady and the other to gently tap her nose in reprimand. "I won't be having any more lawsuits against my home, all right? Please restrain from any more fal-"
Panting, Rosette barely managed to nod before falling unceremoniously foreword- almost crushing the yelping Chrono underneath her dead weight. Which was actually a good strategy to keep him from being difficult- after all, it's hard to make a struggle when the wind has been knocked out of your lungs. He attempted to worm away for a few moments- managing to yank a couple of meters of his braid back inside in the process- but eventually surrendered; allowing her head to rest against his toned chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. He sighed, able to feel the girl's frozen flesh through her flimsy underclothes.
. . . Underclothes. The boy's red eyes twitched. 'Oh my God, I'm lying on the ground with a half-naked girl who I've never met before!' Now, if only he could decide if this was a good or bad thing, he'd be set. 'Stupid authoress and her fan service pleas. . .'
The fourth wall shattered for a second time, much to the tightwad-of-an-authoress's exasperation (janitorial bills are a pain), and resulted in her announcing that the next person to harm the wall would have to accompany Aion, in Rosette's princess dress, to the nearest gay bar. All characters freaked out and began to behave, much to Aion's not-so-secret disappointment. With that, the authoress un-inserted herself from the plot, knowing that no one cared about her- they just wanted to read the story. So, once again, she decreed that the fic should continue. . .
". . . So. . ." Chrono began suddenly, eyes lidded, an exhausted yawn escaped him. Hulling a one hundred fifty some pound girl from almost certain doom was no easy task, after all. "What's your name, oh-elegant-one?"
". . .Rosette," she muttered, voice muffled as she snuggled closer. 'Still. . . so. . . cold. . .' "And you know what. . . ?"
"What?"
"I think. . . I hate you." With that, Rosette did the most princessy-thing she could- fainted.
And that was how it all began.
X
"Woo! This chapter- (Crash!)- is done!" Aion giggled, huggling his favorite stuffed koala. "Does this mean coffee and doughnuts in the studio lounge?"
"Uh, no," the authoress drawled dryly, crossing her arms. "All of the money for treats went to fixing the fourth wall that you idiots kept shatteri-" Double crash! ". . . Dammit."
"Oh well, doesn't matter," Azmaria hummed, cheerful as ever. "Rosette and Chrono wouldn't be able to join us, anyway." "What? Why?" the authoress blinked, taken aback. "Chrono has an autograph session with the readers of this story after this! I promised them all a shirtless photo shoot! Where are they?" "I dunno," the apostle girl shrugged, innocently smiling. "But they grabbed a whole lot of whipped cream before they left. And strawberries! And I think I saw Rosette with a pair of handcuffs. . ." Silence. Azmaria cocked her head. "Uh. . . What's wrong? Why are your faces all so red?"
"Erm. . . Az. . ."
"Eeee! Bondage!" Aion interrupted with a squeal, skipping off to find the exorcists; ripping off his shirt as he went. "I want in, I want in!"
". . . Um. . . What. . . ?"
". . . Never mind Azmaria. Never mind."
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Wow, that was random. I just hope it wasn't as stupid as I'm sure it must have been! ((sweat drop) Did that make any sense?) Anyway, I know I'll have mentions of OCCness for the chapter, so let's clear this up right away:
Because it was so dark, Chrono didn't realize he wasn't dealing with another knight. (Sure, Rosette has a girly voice, but so do a lot of the other pretty boys.) So, out of irritation, he was a bit ruder than usual. (Can't blame him really, after having to deal with people like Knight Remington on a regular basis, ne:) )
Rosette fainted. Yes, that's not very Rosette-y, but she just almost fell fifty feet. And suffered the traumatizing experience of having Chrono squished between her. . . yeah. And she was already really cold. Stress does fun-fun things to you, ya know? So anyway, I thought her fainting was rather appropriate.
Also, for anyone who doesn't know, the fourth wall is the invisible barrier that keeps the author/authoress and the readers away from the characters. Kinda like a gate between the "god" and the "pawns". (wink)
Finally, credit to the zillion and one cliches I used in this fic- Aion cross dressing/being gay, all the fairytale regularities, etc. Couldn't help it. ;)
That all said, next chapter should be up relatively soon. Still, no Satella, but she will be coming round the mountain! And things will be funnier next chapter. I hope. Maybe. XD
Please RR! Ja ne!
(PS. Ooo, and a short, shameless plug- if you're interested in either romance/angst or romance/general Chrono/Rosette goodness, please take a minute to read my quick-fics 'Fly With Me' and 'Dancing with Hellfire'? Thanks so much! I love you all! XD)