Warning: Disciplinary spanking and a total disregard for Esme One:)
Xxx
The killers:
"I don't need time I don't need time
No I can get by myself
I don't need time I don't know why the
Summer wind did not tell
I scramble on line and I know that
I can get by in the mean time by myself": Crippling blow
xxxx
Losing Touch
"Well what do you have to say for yourself?" Carlisle said as he crossed his arms and watched Emmett through slightly narrowed eyes. Absently, the blonde vampire rubbed his jaw making Emmett look down guiltily; but his eyes kept flickering distractedly to the broken pieces of some very painful memories.
"Don't put me over your knees Dad." Emmett pleaded when he realised the desk was out of bounds.
"We are jumping ahead of ourselves Emmett Cullen now come and take a seat as I want to discuss the punishment you received last month?" Carlisle went to the sofa and sat down feeling weary and just a little fed up of all the drama. He scrubbed his face with his palms and raked his fingers through his untidy hair.
He watched his boy sit next to him and swipe at his eyes. Carlisle put an arm around his shoulders while pulling his tie off with his free hand and placing it in his shirt pocket. He pulled his big boy back in his seat and let Emmett lean into him.
Emmett began to cry and hid his head against his Dad's burdened shoulder."I knew you were upset when we returned home Emmett and I asked you then if something had happened which I was not aware of."
"He would not listen to reason Dad." Em whined and sat up and turned to his Dad. "The reason I didn't tell you is because I knew I had messed up and deserved the strap. It is what you would have given me and then some." Carlisle nodded in agreement and wiped stray tears from Em's cheeks.
"It was how he made me feel as if I was his subject and had no say. Jasper can be a cold son of a – never mind. He could not get past the fact it was Alice involved, I tried to reason over and over and he st-struck me."
"Where?" Carlisle said biting down his anger.
"On my face, it made me scared of what Jasper would do. I was really afraid Dad and he beat me hard until his belt broke and that is when he returned with your st-strap. I told him he was not allowed but he just did it anyway." He sobbed and hid his head in his hands.
"It is okay my boy, come here." Carlisle moved to the end of the sofa and motioned for his son to lie down and be calm. Emmett placed his head in his Dad's lap and lay on his side shuddering. Carlisle stroked his short hair and pulled the blanket over him from the back of the sofa.
"He ma-made me feel like scum – but Dad it was not how Jasper figured it and I did try and tell him. I love Alice and would never hurt her. That day she was like an angry little spitfire and was just in a mood and wanted to do something. I would not have even crashed the car if Al had not been distracting me and grabbed the wheel because I would not go where she wanted."
"Did you explain this to Jasper it sounds as if you were equally to blame?"
"We were and I am not saying that to get Alice into trouble I am saying it because it is true and just wanted Jasper to have the bigger picture instead of him just assuming that I had deliberately put his mate in danger. Jazz would not have it that Alice was encouraging the speeding and the tree was her fault as much as mine." He cried softly and his shoulder's trembled."
"I do wish that you had told me Son." Carlisle was sad for his boy and knew how Jasper could be when he thought honour and chivalry was at stake and yes cold was a good descriptive word for his Southern Soldier at times.
"I would have used the strap on you Emmett as you already know...Yet, you all know that Jasper is not to touch that strap without my permission and especially not while angry. You should have told me."
"I was ashamed as I did deserve it and I was not trying to get out of it. Jasper was so angry while he punished me and that made me afraid, he only stopped when..."
"When..." Carlisle prompted.
"It does not matter Dad."
"Oh yes it does matter...anything that concerns you is my concern also. We are not leaving this study until I have heard everything; I will not get mad I promise you. I need to know son."
"The skin ripped on my right thigh." Carlisle sucked in a quick shocked breath and released it hastily when he felt his boy tense. "Jazz did apologise for ripping my skin, once he had calmed down and dressed my leg, it was only small and healed by the next afternoon."
Emmett snuggled back down and pulled the blanket higher. "I tried to put it behind us as I had been feeling resentful and for the first time in years I began to doubt if Jasper should be given so much power over us. I got over it though Dad as Jasper is wicked at being in command and I have always looked up to him. It just seemed unfair that he punished me purely for having his mate in the car."
He sat up again and looked at his Dad and noticed he was weeping softly and seemed embarrassed by the action. "After he beat me apart from fixing me up he just turned away and ignored me until the next day when he apologised for the strap but not the beating. Again, Jazz saying that made me feel worthless and weak."
"You are neither of those Emmett and Jasper knows this my boy."
"I really was just going to forget it as I know he is sorry even if he does not say it. Then in an instant when I knew what he had done with my mate in the car I just felt furious and the feelings came flooding back of how he made me feel. I am angry Dad, he is your Second and he behaves like that after how he treated me!"
Em growled without realising and received a very stern look from his Dad as he sat back up tense and angry."Watch yourself mister."
"Sorry Dad, look I do respect Jasper's position and admire how he takes care of us without a fuss and a moan. Jasper in my eyes is up there with you Dad and the way I see it the one who is in charge should have your qualities and lead your way."
Emmett looked squarely at his Dad. "You would never have behaved like Jasper did and if you had been caught doing something which you knew would have bad consequences, I know you would have admitted it. I might not have done or Eddy but we are not Second in Command."
Emmet paused before whispering. "Maybe Jasper should not be Dad, maybe you have given him too much power and he needs to let it go and just be a kid like the rest of us. He is trying to play two roles, well no three when you think of Alice."
Emmett sniffled and looked at his lap."You think I want revenge and yeah...I guess I do but that is not why I am saying this. He wants to make you proud right and feel like he is contributing to the family as if he is still trying to earn his place with us. At the same time he wants to be a kid, drive fast, cuss and get out of chores. He is battling these two jobs daily and also trying to protect Alice as if she will break if the wind catches her. He seriously needs to chill."
Emmett felt Carlisle bristle. "Not that sort of chill Daad." He rolled his eyes at his Dad's lameness. "You are always ragging on him about his emotions and controlling them and then you say he has a harder time due to his gift so really you need to cut him some slack and take the power out of his hands. He would be upset to start with but when he realises how much more fun he would have if he wasn't always trying to be boss he might be happier."
Carlisle inwardly winced at his son's words. "Do you not think that Jasper deserves a second chance? It would have been fear that caused Jasper to act like he did when he dealt with you. And as for the ticket and swapping seats Rose would have been insistent and Jasper's emotions would have been his own worst enemy into making a wrong decision and yes I do understand that his emotions can lead him, not often anymore though Emmett."
"Dad you are so hard on him because he can't always control them feelings...Can't you see he really cannot help it and what happens when it is Edward that makes him angry again or Rosie?"
"It is good to see you defending him Emmett. However, Jasper's gift needs to be controlled and he does a fine job of doing it most of the time son. You are being unfair as he has come a long way and I know Jasper and to take away his rank would be to strip him of his place in the family and I do not know if he would recover from that. You have given me a long speech on why he should be stripped son and you say it is not for settling the score...Is that true?"
Emmett growled low in his throat. "Owwww Daad." He rubbed at the sting on the top of his thigh that had been left by his Father's hard hand.
"Do not ever DARE to growl at me like that just because I am speaking the truth...Now please continue."
"He is your Second! Decisions sometimes have to be made in a blink of an eye so sorry Dad but that is bull, you just do not want to admit that maybe you were wrong." Emmett winced and put his hands atop his thighs. "Sorry."
"Son, I know you are upset so I am letting that comment go. Nonetheless..." Carlisle sat up straight and pointed his finger at his son. "Continue with that disrespectful tone and I will wash your mouth out and you will end up sore before I have even got to your correction."
"Soz, Dad." He swiped at more tears and looked at his hands. He settled back down snuggling by his Dad once more.
"Yes, Jasper has made several mistakes of late and they will be addressed. He does a fine job of protecting this coven son and will continue too as mistakes can happen and seeing that mangled wreck of a car and knowing his wife had been in it would have terrified him. He let anger win over reason like you did back in Jasper's room."
"I guess but I still want to kick his ass Dad, it is only fair. It will make us equal and then I can forgive him. The punishment he doled out to me had nothing to do with speeding or caring for my well being."
"No son. I will handle Jasper's correction and want no trouble from you or you will find yourself even sorrier than what you are about to be... Right then, before I spank you is there anything else you want to say?"
"Mom."
"What about Mom?"
"Mom punished Jasper. It seems unfair as when we do something serious it is you that deals with us and your hand is way harder than Moms...Why should Jasper get special treatment?"
"Your Mother was cross with me son because I smacked your brother when I was angry. Your Mom's hand is a great deal harder than she looks." Emmett looked at his Dad's embarrassed expression and groaned.
"Too much information Dad."
"We are just procrastinating and it is time...Now." Carlisle rolled up his sleeves and removed his watch and placed it with his work tie. "I promised you the strap if you went after Jasper, fetch it please and then pull down your jeans and across my lap."
"Oh Dad please I am too big and it's just plain embarrassing." He grumbled and retrieved the dreaded implement. "I can bend over the sofa arm and I won't break it this time."
"No son, enough furniture has been broken today, is that why I work all those hours so you and Jasper can destroy all our belongings. Hym, is it?"
"No Daad."
"Is that why your mother spends so much love and attention to make this house your home...so you can trash it. Is it?"
"No Daad." He pulled his jeans down before his Dad started going on about the house rules and the cost of electric. He reluctantly found a position that was not so degrading. His Father's arm snaked around his waist and pulled him close; Em had got his arms folded and leaning on the arm rest and bowed his head. His legs were stretched out and he squirmed when his jeans were pulled even lower followed by his blue Cookie Monster shorts which made Carlisle smile before he could stop himself.
"I warned you of the consequences young man. None of this was necessary as I was handling it and I will not have mob rule in this house now prepare yourself. You are about to be spanked for disobeying me and deliberately starting a fight and playing on Jasper's emotions just as much as he played on yours."
Carlisle lashed at his son's rear over and over building up a sting that soon blossomed into such sharp stinging pains that the boy squirmed and whimpered as it was very few and far between when Emmett got into trouble and the pain was always such a bolt from the blue.
Emmett was weeping and biting his lip hard to stop from wailing, which he was about to do and did not want Jasper to hear, but by the time his Father had finished using his hand and picked the strap up the boy's quiet moans were getting louder
He panicked when the strap was in his Dad's hand and he began to rise. "YOU. DO. NOT. DARE. MOVE. POSITION." Each word was punctuated with a resounding full stop in the form of the strap. Six more followed the first six and it was done.
He let Emmett cry it out and remain lying over his lap. "Jasper will be punished and you are to let this go or that strapping that you just received will be like a gentle love tap if you dare to goad Jasper again. Are we very clear?"
"Yes...but."
"BUT NOTHING!" Carlisle roared making Emmett hide his head. The boxers that had been returned to their normal place was pushed down so quickly Em never registered until he felt his Father's hand crashing down against the welts on his pulsing hiney and was quickly struck over and over until Emmett was sobbing and pleading once more.
"There are no buts, no exceptions and no excuses." He spanked him for a full five minutes making Emmett bawl and plead.
"No Dad I will not do anything I promise..." 'for now.' "Please... the spanking hurts too much, please no more Dad. I will stay out of his way I promise." He wailed at the attack on his sore butt and willed himself to remain still so it would all be over and he could go to Rosie.
Carlisle made sure to deliver his warning home by commanding his boy to hold his shirt up at the back. "Nooo, Dad please." He whimpered as he grabbed his shirt and pulled it up his muscled back as he lay trembling over his Father's knees. Three hard blows were connected to the bottom of Em's back, making him grunt and whimper. He lay still relieved that the hiding was over.
"Lie still and rest, close your eyes." The boy's clothes were righted and they remained snuggled together for an hour or so until Carlisle gently woke his son from the stress of the last month and assisted him to his bed and removed his boots and jeans.
"Rest for an hour and I shall bring you a drink." He kissed his boy's forehead and covered him up. "You are on restriction for the rest of the week. You know what that means...No tv, no playstation, no leaving this house without permission and absolutely no fighting with Jasper." He spoke quietly just reiterating the rules that they already knew so very well.
Emmett was drifting, yet tears were still falling down his face. "Dad you forgot no funny business with Rosie."
Carlisle smiled at his boy. "Relax baby boy and all will turn out well if you let them. I am not convinced son that you are not going to take this problem with Jasper too far. While you rest think on all the good that boy does for us all. Also, have a think about the time I punished Jasper for skipping school."
"Why Dad?"
"Because I was angry with him Son and punished him harder than I should have and you knew that. I know you were angry with me and I was waiting for a confrontation from you. I was very glad you decided to refrain. However, you could have spoken to me about it as I readily admit I was too harsh. When we are hurting we lash out and say and do things that are often childish and impulsive. Your love for your brother had you averting your eyes and grinding your jaw each time I saw you...Because you love him Emmett, remember that."
"Dad." Emmett whispered as Carlisle went to leave."He hurt me Dad...I don't mean the strapping', it was just I have never been treated like that before...Is that how Jasper's newborns were made to feel?" He hid his head and closed his eyes..."Dad, Jasper should not be in charge anymore..."
Carlisle went to Jasper's room and found him staring out of the window, still and silent. "Jasper." The soldier turned around and looked wide eyed at his Father.
"Yes Papa." He whispered as he stood to attention.
"We need to talk."
Carlisle watched as his boy went to pieces in front of him and sank to his knees and cried into his hands. Carlisle approached him slowly and put his arms around his shoulders to stop him rocking and assist him to stand.
"It is a pleasant night, let us go and sit in the garden it will help you to relax as I only want to talk to you." He turned his boy to face him and tilted his chin up as Jasper kept trying to avert his gaze. "So troubled my son...You needed to come and talk to me, we are partners remember."
Jasper nodded and threw his arms around Carlisle's shoulders and buried his head."It is okay Jasper; there, there I love you and I understand how guilty you are feeling. Guilt is good son it means that you are my good boy...You find a pleasant area in the garden and I shall bring out some blood, take your music with you and relax."
"Will do Papa." Jasper said in a deep tone that was barely above a whisper.
"Jasper as lovely as your legs are can you please put some pants on." They both looked down at Jasper's bare knees and chuckled.
"I forgot..."
The boy sat under Esme Two and closed his eyes and breathed in the sweet night air, he put on his iPod and listened to Newborn by Muse before flicking to The Killers. He liked this tree even after its stressful beginnings and did relax as he knew Carlisle was not going to kick him out. He just wanted to talk...for now.
"Here you are son...I knew this is where I would find you." He watched his son take a sip and sigh. Jasper wrapped his hands around the beverage and rested the mug on his raised knees.
"All the homes we own and this is the only place where Mama ever planted a special tree."
"It is because Forks is Esme's favourite place and sees this as home...When we have to move I know she gets homesick for here and counts down the years until she can return once more. Do you remember how happy Esme was the day you planted the sapling?"
"Yes Sir I still can remember and feel the emotions from Mama that day, just so much love for her family...for me and Alice. That is why I sit under this tree as it reminds me that I am loved when sometimes I forget myself. I do try and forget what else this tree represents."
"What would that be?" Carlisle said smiling as he already knew the answer.
"My very first of many I may add, Cullen spankin'" Jasper said quietly and thought about his great plan to deceive his new family all those years ago, he rolled his eyes and thought about mixing wet cement in the rain like a fool...
Xxx
Jasper's First Spankin'(of many I may add)
The rain poured down as Jasper frantically stood the huge oak tree back up into its original proud position. Only now it did not look so proud, it was a sorry sight to behold as the trees long cable of dying roots laid strewn and bare above the sodden earth.
"I can fix this." Jasper muttered over and over as he pressed down on the roots to sink them back down from where they came from. He looked up at the tree and he wrapped his powerful arms around the trunk and used his weight to twist the trunk into the earth. Taking the hastily made cement mixture he poured in into the ragged hole and began to shovel dirt over the top, knowing the absurdity of doing this in the rain...but it always rained and that tree would not stand up on its own accord.
He gathered all the evidence and stepped back. He just needed time to find a solution before the tree was noticed. Jasper figured that as it was now Fall therefore Carlisle and Esme would not notice anything odd well until spring that is. Jasper looked at the engraving on the huge trunk in Gothic letters which Carlisle had carved at human speed many years ago. It simply read Esme...
Several months later Jasper still had not found a solution to his problem and was contemplating creating a bigger accident to cover up his tracks. 'a small forest fire perhaps that had gotten a wee bit out of control.' He shook the nonsense from his head and entered the house with his Alice.
They heard a sudden resounding smack and yelp from Emmett. The sound was coming from the study and Emmett was crying and protesting strongly. "I wonder what he has done now, that boy can't ever stay out of trouble, he is such a child."
"It was not me Daaad, I swear. I always get the blame for everything. Why would I touch mom's stupid tree...(smack) owwwwwwwww! I don't even know how to mix cement."
Jasper and Alice stared at each other as they heard a third smack and this time it sounded like it was on bare skin and a yelp from their protesting sibling.
"Oh God, that damn tree." He looked at his wife and she nodded once. Sighing he made his way to the study and knocked lightly. Esme appeared looking upset as she looked at Jasper.
"Son, this is not a good time, you can clearly hear that we do not want to be disturbed."
"My apologies Ma'am, I need to speak with you and Carlisle; it is important and cannot wait." Jasper was anxious as he stood to attention in front of the women that had taken them in and gave them a home. "Please." He could hear his new brother sniffling and bowed his head in shame as Emmett pulled his clothes back up.
"Do you know something about the tree Jasper?"
"Yes Ma'am."
"You better come in then." Esme sighed and opened the door wide. "Not you Alice...Please go and wait in your room and Jasper will be back with you shortly."
Sighing, Alice reluctantly left her husband in the hands of the people that she wanted to be with and he was just about to learn how discipline worked around here. That thought actually made Alice feel a little better as Jasper was waiting for an attack on their lives and maybe once his butt was squeezable once more he would calm down.
"Take a seat please." Esme said softly as she looked at the blank boy who stood to attention. "Please Jasper, take a seat there is no need to stand to attention dear."
Jasper sat down and avoided eye contact with Emmett who was standing by Carlisle over by the sofa. "It was me, Emmett is innocent." The room was silent apart from Em's ragged breaths.
" I knew it was him!" Emmett rushed past his Dad to reach Jasper who had stood up and had gotten ready to pounce. Carlisle grabbed the back of Emmett's shirt and pulled him close.
"Do not even dare try and attack Jasper." Carlisle pierced his son with a hard stare. "Do you hear me? Do that again and I will get the strap down...Now calm yourself."
He turned his attention to the soldier who looked ready to attack and Carlisle was in no mood for theatrics today. "Get up off that floor at once young man and sit down like you were already told to do so." Jasper's eyes widened and slowly he slinked back to the chair keeping a close watch on the three vampires. Emmett shirked from his Dad's hold and sniffled.
Carlisle and Esme looked stricken and they turned to Emmett who had backed up against the wall. "Forgive us Emmett, you said that you didn't do it and we should have believed you. It did have your signature all over it. Go and lie down for a while and we will be up to speak with you soon." Carlisle hugged his shaking boy.
"The next time I get into trouble you should let me off because you have just whacked me senseless. I cannot possibly go to school tomorrow as I won't be able to sit down." Emmett whimpered in a little lost boy voice and rubbed his butt which in reality only stung slightly and was already fading.
"Em, as sorry as I am, it was only three swats. How about you have a loan of my new car for a few hours and take Rose out somewhere, as long as you can sit down that is."
"Seriously! No one gets to ride your car; you even get angsty when Mom goes near it...Sorry mom buts its true, when your back is turned Dad looks like he is ready to combust when you ride his car... Wow Dad you must be feeling so guilty right now." Emmett smiled now and playfully nudged his Dad who allowed the ribbing as it was deserved.
"I do son..."
Jasper had his head bowed once Emmett left the room. It was silent as he waited for the dreaded words that he would have to leave. He flinched when he felt a hand on his arm and was surprised to see Esme sitting beside him. "What are you thinking about love?"
"That you will ask me to leave and I am thinking about what to say to Alice."
"Jasper you have been with us long enough now to know that will never happen. Now look at me." He turned his eyes to look intently at Carlisle's mate. "You should be sitting there and thinking on ruining my tree and because you were dishonest Emmett got caught in the cross fire."
"I think about that all the time Ma'am. I was just mad that night and I had promised Carlisle that if I began to lose control I was to go into the forest and let off steam."
"I am glad that you had the forefront to do that Jasper. Do you really think that we would be so cruel to ask you to leave over a tree?"
"It was dear to you Ma'am."
"Yes it was very dear to me. Not as dear as my family son." She squeezed his trembling hand and his eyes brightened a shade.
Carlisle leaned onto his bent arms across the desk to look at his newest Cullen. "We are upset Jasper because you tried to deceive us. Lies will always be uncovered and consequences will always follow lies."
"I was going to tell ya'all it was just the snow was down for months and then I still had not found a solution." He stopped his mouth running as he could not keep up. "I am so sorry Sir."
"Hym, snow you say...how long are we talking here that you have carried around this unnecessary burden. Let me have a think, four months?"
"Yes Sir how did you know."
"Because you began to become withdrawn again and I knew that you were troubled. You have a family now Jasper there is no need to keep your difficulties bottled up. My concern is the cement; this was planned out lies which I will be correcting."
Jasper remained still as if his leader's words had not registered. "Lies are dealt with in one way in this house and be thankful that you had the sense to come and tell us when you did." He watched Jasper rub his wrist and noticed that his hands were trembling.
"Sir, please do not take my hand."
" Esme gasped and took a firm hold of the boy's chin. "Jasper Whitlock you must never think that we would do such a thing, do you see any of our family with lost limbs?" She stroked his cheek making him flinch at the contact.
Esme took hold of his hands. "I am sorry baby for all that you have suffered. We will love and protect you never fear us. All we ask is for your honesty and trust."
"Jasper began to cry a few silent tears as the last few months had been traumatic and he wished he had just told the truth.
"Jasper." Carlisle said softly to get his boy's attention without frightening him. "You know that you are just as much a Cullen as the rest of us. Therefore it is only correct that you receive the same chastisement as the others. You will get exactly the same as what Emmett was about to receive only you will get four smacks with my belt once your spanking is finished to help encourage you to tell the truth a little sooner." Carlisle looked stern and Jasper sat up straighter still.
"Sp-spankin'? Like Edward received the other day?" He asked nervously. "You are not going to horsewhip me then?"
"Do you see any horses around son now please calm down." Carlisle said more gently and became alert when Jasper stood up.
"I ain't no baby, that is insane. Just because you can make a boy like Edward cry over getting his butt bared you will not ever make me." The boy began to clench his fists and grind his jaw angrily at the audacity of this leader and wondered how safe they were here.
Carlisle calmly watched him and continued to fold his arms, yet his eyes were onyx and any other of his children would have warned Jasper to quit before he got a physical reminder of the house rules. You just never shout at Carlisle or Esme.
"You are a joke Carlisle! I once thought a great leader ran this coven how else would your territory have stayed so safe all these years. Now I know the truth BLIND LUCK keeps this coven safe. A spankin'! Do you have any idea who you are dealing with?" Jasper was livid at being treated like a child and began to growl making Esme back up against the wall in fear.
Jasper felt her terror flood through his venom and he gasped at the emotional turmoil that she kept hidden deep inside. "Esme forgive me –" He went to take a step closer to her when a shooting pain ripped though his ear and he found himself immobilised over the desk and several sharp white hot needle pains stung and blazed in his rear.
"Do not dare ever speak to me in that insolent manner again boy!" He hauled Jasper up by the scruff of his collar and sat him back down in the chair. Jasper squirmed at the sudden contact with the seat yet remained still and noticed that Esme had left the room, which made him feel sad.
" You will NOT behave in a threatening manner towards Esme or myself, that is unacceptable behaviour young man. Now Jasper if you need such harsh measures as dismemberment and death then you are in the wrong coven."
Sternly he continued. "Is that what you want? Hymn, Is it?" He saw the boy flinch and lowered his tone. Carlisle sat next to him and patted his knee and calmed himself down. It had been the fear in Esme's eyes he did not see that anymore and he realised she was just becoming a good actress at concealing her pain. He would need to have a talk with his wife once this was sorted out.
"No Sir, just what I deserve."
"For trying to hide a mistake because you did not want to hurt Esme? Only a tree my boy, most cherished but not as cherished as our children. Your imagined punishment seems a little excessive don't you think?" He smiled at Jasper who slowly returned the smile.
"Well when you put it like that I guess it may be a little much." The boy said shyly.
"Just a tad son." He had a twinkle in his eyes as he smiled diminutively.
They were both silent and Jasper began to shift uneasily and bit his lip. "you sure know how to deliver a slap Sir." He said softly and stared at the far wall. He heard the chuckle and turned to look at Carlisle.
"That was just the first few Jasper, yet do not worry as it is just a spanking you said so yourself."
"Those words may have been a little hasty and not thought out."
Carlisle once again smiled and pinched his thumb and forefinger together. "Again...Just a tad son." They both laughed and Carlisle put his arm around the soldier's hesitant shoulders.
"A spanking Carlisle, seriously?" He asked hesitantly and was surprised to see a smile on his leader's face.
"Those first swats must be wearing off by now so let us begin. Let us hope I do not embarrass myself by giving you such a weak punishment..."
xxxxxxxxx
Jasper realised he was smiling as he remembered Carlisle saying 'weak' with a twinkle in his eyes all those years ago. He shifted on his sore behind and turned to trace his finger tips on the engraved carvings on the thick trunk of all of the Cullens which he had carved himself, and realised Bella's name would have to be added before long. "I asked Mama why a spruce out of all the trees, why an every day run of the mill one."
"What was her reply?"
"Mama said that her heart belonged to her home and the forest and there is no better tree than a spruce to bring the forest to her. That was the official reason but..."
"But?"
"Spruce's grow like weeds and Mama wanted to make me feel better as it would grow quickly."
"It did not matter what the tree was, the tree represents us and that is why we always return here. To Esme this tree represents the day you accepted your place not in the coven but as her son. She often comes out here and traces her fingers along our names just like you are doing. How are you doing son?"
"Not well." He put his mug on the grass and hugged his knees once more as he thought about Emmett and Rose. Carlisle took Jasper in his arms and rocked him and took an ear phone and put it in and handed the other to Jasper. They both leaned into each other and rested their heads together and relaxed. "I hate myself for what I have done."
"I know you do son I can feel it and I wish I could take it from you as its suffocating. You lost your temper; it happens...You made some very poor choices in regards to the law and your sister, we all make mistakes. It does not make us bad or unworthy of love, it means we need a reminder at times on how to conduct ourselves."
"Yes Sir."
"We are a family who help each other to overcome problems. I do not want you to become upset Jasper, but I need to know what happened that day in regards to Emmett as I cannot even begin to focus on the rest of this confusion without understanding what exactly has taken place between you both."
"Emmett has already told you Papa." He mumbled and looked at his hands.
"Look at me son...Emmett has indeed told me and as Second in Command it should have come from your mouth. You know that if you are unsure or worked up you walk away we have had this conversation before have we not? Now why did you not phone me as you normally do when you need advice because if you had taken the time to do that I really do not think any of this would have happened."
"Sorry Papa."
"You did not want to phone me as you wanted to strap him."
"No Papa-"
"Stop lying boy." Carlisle growled softly. "You wanted to hurt him for endangering Alice the way I wanted to hurt you for involving Rose. I had wanted to harm you harshly back in the study."
"Papa." He said wretchedly, after a pause he mumbled. "I wish you had hurt me bad." Jasper's head shot up and he looked expectantly.
"No son...But I am telling you the truth, I was so angry with you Jasper and that is why I ordered you out the door before I did something that would have made me feel how you are feeling now. I am sorry for smacking you while I was so riled up and have had quite the ear bashing from your Mother." He put his arm back around Jasper's trembling shoulders and pulled him close.
"Are you still?"
"Am I still what son?"
"Angry with me."
"No Jasper...just disappointed. Are you feeling calmer now son?" Carlisle watched his son bob his head but keep his eyes downcast.
"Papa, what will my punishment be?" He asked nervously and gave his Father eye contact."I have messed up so bad and only the same treatment of what I dished out to Em will make it all better and will make us even."
"Jasper...I have yet to decide as this is not just about me and you is it? Emmett is very upset right now. Do you know why and I do not mean about Rose."
"Because I strapped him."
"Not only that Jasper...Did you give him any comfort after? Did you tell him he was forgiven and that you have no hard feelings for him? Did you make him feel secure and safe?"
He waited for a reply but none came. "Did you frighten him? Did you strap him so hard that his skin broke? Did you make him feel like the most worthless man on this Earth?" Jasper hid his head and would not answer. "Did you make my son who I left in your care feel like he was less than nothing?"
"I am sorry..."
"Have you told Emmett that son?"
"Too ashamed of myself Sir."
"Well that is what you should have done isn't it, even if it makes you feel uncomfortable. I can't even get my head around the ticket Jasper while I am still troubled over Emmett. I am trying to work out why a sensible man like you would just assume it was only Emmett's fault and that your wife was blameless. That was not fair and you must know that deep down. You are their leader and you act in accordance with that rank or you step down."
Jasper's head shot up again and he stared through jet black stones at his Father. "I was very wrong but please don't remove my rank, I am so sorry Papa." He pleaded and began to fidget suddenly remembering again the sting in his bottom and legs.
"Emmett believes that you would be better stepping down Jasper as your actions over the last month have been anything but good. Do you think that you have behaved in accordance with your rank boy?"
"No Sir."
"Emmett has very legitimate reasons son for wanting your position provoked and I am seriously contemplating it." Carlisle was surprised when Jasper suddenly shot up and backed away from Esme's tree.
"We have not finished our conversation and it is very rude to get up when I have not given you permission to do so. Sit down please, before I smack your bare bottom for disobedience."
"No Papa I can't, I need to stand." He began to pace and kept looking down at his Father who had remained in position and put Jasper's ear phone in his ear, closed his eyes and leaned back against the tree.
"Ahhhr, Losing Touch...I like this song." Carlisle smiled and tapped his fingers against his raised knees. Jasper watched this little unexpected display and hesitantly sat back down, without opening an eye Carlisle put his arm out for Jasper to snuggle by him once more.
Taking the offered ear piece the boy relaxed again and wiped tears from his face. "Please don't take my position Papa apart from having to do the nightmare job of the accounts I enjoy the responsibility and the challenge. Please Papa. I am so very sorry...For everything."
"Again son, you need to be apologising to your brother as you need to explain to him. It was wrong of you to withhold your sorry for hurting him. You should have stepped up as you have been bought up to do so." Carlisle felt his son wince and tense up by his side. "Relax son let us just listen to The Killers for a awhile, there is plenty of time to discuss the outcome of this night but not now as you need to rest, we all do..."
xxx
Review Pleasey please:) but only smiley ones:) *I think Jasper needs the Goddess of Words and Wisdom on his side...:)*
Ruby.x