An Azula-centric fanfic.
Disclaimer: The voice of Aang was created by Zachary Tyler Eisen.
Author's notes:
Kudos to 3VAD127 for being the first to figure out what AAlLZiWUeALsYAS means. In light of that, I'm changing it. I don't have much else to say, so on with the story!
Edited. Forgot the disclaimer.
/ Another Duck
Z A F O Z G S V Y O F V W I Z T L M
Bent Mind
Z A F O Z G S V Y O F V W I Z T L M
Aang was meditating at the Western Air Temple. No one else was with him, as Momo was with Appa, who was giving other people rides. His friends were spread over the world, either helping with their home towns or visiting family, sometimes both. It was what Aang needed, though. After all that had happened while preparing to fight the Fire Lord and being hunted by his two children, there was a lot the Avatar felt he had neglected.
Focus and harmony of his own mind had been helped by his forced maturity growth, but there were flaws in it he still needed to correct. The adventures he had gone through had made him quite stable, as he now knew he could handle a lot more than he thought at the beginning of his journey. He had learned how to control the Avatar state quite well, as the youngest Avatar in history, according to his previous incarnations.
However, just like elemental bending, practise was always needed. That was another thing he required. He could use all four elements with decent proficiency now, but he was still outmatched by his closest friends in three of the five bending arts. Not to mention, he was the sole practitioner in the two he was the best of, and even then only if you excluded Appa and the lion turtle.
Katara had promised to teach him healing the best she could, but he had trouble with it, so it was a slow learning process. She refused to teach him bloodbending, a fact he didn't mind at all. It was just too creepy to him. Maybe when he got older and had mastered waterbending, but not before that.
Toph never stopped teaching him earthbending whenever they had time, so he was still improving at a decent rate. He understood the principle of metalbending, but so far hadn't managed to bend anything other than minerals with a relatively high iron content.
Zuko had understandably been too busy to aid him with his firebending, and Iroh just wanted to retire in peace with his tea shop. He had also preferred that his nephew handled that, as a part becoming a true master. The older of them was also the only known person in the world capable of lightningbending, other than Azula, so that was something he had to figure out on his own. Suffice to say, without a proper teacher, he had less success with that than with healing.
While meditating he thought he heard something reminiscent of a tree falling. Thinking it was just that, he went back to his spiritual relaxation. Soon after, he definitely heard a repetitive sound; metal clanking against metal. This was something he had to investigate, so he took his glider and flew up from the temple to the forest above.
Immediately he spotted a Fire Nation war balloon which had apparently smashed down a tree while landing. Two messenger hawks were sitting on a nearby tree branch. A girl was trying to fix the aircraft by banging on it with a hammer, obviously rather frustrated with the process, and quite likely even more so with the actual crash. Noticing who she was, he sat quietly down to watch. The annoying sound would've been unbearable for a longer period of time, if it hadn't been for the amusement Aang found in it.
She looked just as she always did, with the small difference that her characteristic bangs had been shortened to only reach down to her eyes. In her concentration on the job, it took her a few minutes to notice she wasn't alone any more, but eventually she did. She didn't start as most people would when finding out they weren't alone. Instead, she just gave a heavy sigh, threw away the hammer, and turned towards him with a neutral countenance. Her surprise that he was there was well hidden, although Aang could still make it out for a brief moment.
"How long have you been sitting there?"
"Since about a minute after you crashed." Honesty was the best approach, he thought. It didn't exactly hurt that it seemed to annoy her. It also made him realise he missed his friends a little, as there was no one to joke around with. Azula may not have been the best subject for that, but since she wasn't trying to sneak up on him, he suspected her intentions weren't hostile.
In line with what he expected, she sat down in front of him with closed eyes, probably preparing to speak.
"Greetings, Avatar. I have come to seek your counsel."
Her voice was cold and emotionless. Yet, Aang noticed it wasn't completely alike what she had sounded like when they had met as enemies. The arrogance he'd come to associate with her, while still very much present, was subdued. Her golden eyes were also somewhat softer than he remembered. Maybe it was just because she had to ask someone she didn't like for advice. Or maybe she was changing.
After all, Katara had told him Azula snapped, not once, but twice. During the Agni Kai it was obvious that she was losing her touch with reality. When the waterbender finally defeated the princess, she snapped. Moments later, when she realised what she had done, she snapped again, this time back into relative sanity. Sure, she panicked, but even that was a step forward from her previous state, considering she did something truly surprising: She saved Zuko's life.
Aang hadn't forgiven her, but if she was trying to change, he would help. Besides, as the Avatar he couldn't judge people based on his personal feelings. It was his duty to bring balance to the world, and balance was something Azula sorely lacked. As he had meditated on previously, this was part of what he had neglected as the Avatar. Saving the world didn't leave much time for this.
"Greetings, princess. What is your concern?"
She took a bit of comfort in the impersonal tone he used. She knew he hated her personally, so any emotion in his voice was sure to be negative. She didn't want to deal with his feelings in addition to her own mental state. The way he addressed her as princess indicated that he still saw her as such, even under Zuko's rule. Good or evil, she was proud of who she was. After all, she was one of the most accomplished firebenders in the world, and one of only two people who could bend lightning. Well, she did currently have problems with fire, but that was just temporary.
"Something is wrong with me."
It took a lot out of her to admit that to someone who saw her as an enemy. Her dignity may have taken several crashes the last part of her life, but she was still trying to maintain what was left. Seeing that the Avatar did nothing to discourage her from continuing, she did so.
"Are you aware of what happened during the Agni Kai with my brother?"
Thinking about the duel now with a calm and collected mind made her feel a small bit of respect for Zuko that she hadn't felt before. He was still not as good as she was, but he did give her a good match. He had almost caught up with her in terms of skill. As Aang nodded at her question, she made a mental note to practise more. She couldn't let her brother surpass her. Knowing she had little chance of becoming the Fire Lord herself, she was determined to become the greatest firebender in the world.
"I saved him because he still cared about me and I did not want him to die. But," she paused, trying to find the right words. It wasn't something she understood herself, and here she was explaining it to someone else. It was also one of the things she'd kept hidden from Zuko, since she preferred that he thought of her as at least capable of doing good. "I do not feel it was the right choice. I have many times been told it was the right thing to do, but I do not feel that. I could have killed the waterbender and remained Fire Lord. That would have served me better, after all."
Aang twitched a little when she spoke about killed Katara, in particular as the tone of her voice didn't change at all, just as if she spoke about what to have for dinner the next week. But at the same time, he realised that it was also the problem Azula had. He had suspicions about it, but she more or less confirmed it now.
"Do you know what morals are?"
The question sounded as if it was asked to a small child who still had a lot to learn about the world, and she would have felt insulted, since she did indeed know what it was. However, she did also understand the true nature of the question, based on how he pronounced "know". She was also well aware that even though he was biologically just a twelve years old child, he had the wisdom many times that age.
"I do not know what it feels like."
That explained a lot about why Azula had become what she was. It didn't excuse or redeem her, but it brought understanding to her behaviour. Without a moral compass to guide her, any actions that benefited herself would be acceptable. What he couldn't know was if it was a symptom of her upbringing, or just a part of her blood. He rose to his feet, walked over and knelt down just before her.
"Close your eyes, relax, and don't resist."
His instructions were calming to her. He would help her. She didn't understand how, but something in his voice made her trust him, at least for the moment. After taking a deep breath to mentally prepare herself, she closed her eyes and bowed her head slightly forward. One hand was placed on her forehead, and another above her heart. Through her eyelids she could see a blue light shine up in front of her, so bright she felt she had to cover her eyes with her hands, but managed to restrain herself from doing so.
The following sensation was like no other she'd ever experienced before. Her spirit was connected to the Avatar's, and she could feel him looking right at her soul. For a moment she tried to shy away, but his words rang again, helping her maintain her focus. However, somehow she knew he wasn't actually doing anything. She thought he would mend her mind with this technique, but all he was doing was examining her. Her hope diminished a little, but she knew there were other paths she could take. There had to be. Distracted by her thoughts, she didn't realise he was done until he spoke up again.
"I can't help you. Your mind is damaged beyond what I can bend. I can't see exactly what's wrong, but there is a grave disturbance in the flow of energy close to your heart. I believe this is what blocks your conscience. You can open this, but only if you make an effort to. It will be hard, and it is something you have to do on your own. I know you can care about someone, but you need to open your heart to feel real empathy; to feel what they feel. Do this, and you'll be on your way to your goal."
She pondered his words. There wasn't anything to it that was actually new to her, if the reference to her energy meant what she thought it did, as she had spent a considerable amount of time thinking about it. It did confirm both what she feared, and what she hoped, so the time spent to meet him hadn't been wasted. However, there was something else just outside her grasp that was new.
"I'm sorry, Azula, but I can't help you more than that."
Of course. His voice had changed. He spoke to her as Aang, not as the Avatar. But there were no negative emotions in his tone as she had feared. Rather, he genuinely seemed to want to help her, personally. It was comforting, in a way, but it also weirded her out, since he wasn't one person she was actually comfortable receiving those kinds of feelings from. Still, she decided to let him know she understood.
"It is enough. I know where to begin. Thank you for your counsel, Aang."
As she rose to her feet, he waved at her to stop. She raised an eyebrow at him, but remained silent.
"I do have a favour to ask of you, Azula. I still need to master firebending, and Zuko is too busy to continue training me." The question was left silent, but it was obvious enough to both of them.
"You do not trust me enough to let me teach you. I am sure you can find other masters to teach you." She was all too aware that lack of trust would hinder the learning process.
"How many do you know who can bend lightning?"
Putting a finger to her chin, she considered who could teach him that. "Uncle Iroh would be the best choice. He may be lazy and rather silly, but he does know more than almost anyone about it, and judging by Zuzu's progress, he is a good teacher."
"He's retired and prefers to not teach any bending now that the war is over. I promised not to ask him until I have no other options."
"The only one I know who was capable of lightningbending was my father, then. I do not think Jeong Jeong can, since it does not suit his style."
"After I beat Ozai, he can't bend any more."
"Oh." The new information made her pause and lower her gaze for a moment. "I didn't know he was still alive."
"Didn't Zuko tell you about that?"
"I did not ask." It was no longer important to her, so she focused on the matter on hand instead. "Well, both he and my advisors are capable of teaching it. Li and Lo were the ones who taught me most I know about it, in fact, and they are not even benders. I can see why you do not want to ask them, though."
"So, will you teach me?"
"No. You know I have things I need to deal with." She wasn't particularly keen on delaying her mission more than she had to. She also wasn't that eager to remain in the Avatar's presence when he was like this.
"It's okay if you think you're not as good of a teacher as Zuko."
That stopped her cold. It insulted her skills, but it was also blatantly obvious that it was just to bait her into training him, as the Avatar wasn't one to insult people, even her. She didn't really want to teach him, but she understood that it would also help her learn more. It was one of those things Piandao had said: "You can learn a lot from your teachers, and even more from your peers, but most of all, from your students."
"Right now, I'm having trouble with my firebending. Zuko told me that he had the same problem, but got help with that." It took her a second to realise what she had admitted, and it made her aware of she was slipping.
"Yes, we were trained by some old masters of firebending."
She nodded automatically in response, still somewhat distracted by her thoughts. "He told me about the masters."
"So you know about the d..."
"Wait." She took a deep breath, then sighed. Lying came so naturally to her, but she had to stop somewhere. "He didn't tell me. I don't want to drag it out of you with lies and half-truths. It's not what I'm here for, and I know you promised not to tell anyone. If I am going to teach you, you will have to trust me more, and being my old self won't help with that." This was the most reasonable path for her to take, wasn't it?
"So you will teach me?" His forward tone and overall happiness made her take a step back.
"Yes, despite that you tried to bait me." She gave him a warning glance to emphasise that he should not dare to mention that she had actually taken the bait. Feeling manipulated wasn't something she was used to, but at the same time, there was a slight bit of grudging respect swelling for the Avatar for having accomplished that feat. Yet, it could prove beneficial for her as despite her feelings for him and his amicability, he was trying to help. "I will not teach you now, though. I have a few matters I need to deal with first."
"Very well." Aang bowed to her, although she didn't respond to it. Instead, she backed off, and started to prepare her balloon for take-off.
"I need to be leaving now."
"But it's getting dark. Do you want to travel at night?"
"No, but I have no choice."
True to her word, she was soon off and heading south again. What she hadn't mentioned was the reasons she left. For some reason, his friendliness had just creeped her out. It was unlike her to just flee as she had, but she simply couldn't stay any more. How could he be so nice to her despite everything she'd done? She'd even killed him before. He got too close to her, and that wasn't something she could accept just yet.
She slept uneasily that night on the balloon, while it drifted in what she hoped was the right direction. At least it was away from Aang. Hopefully the messenger hawks would warn her if anything dangerous came up.
Z A F O Z G S V Y O F V W I Z T L M
Author's notes:
Thus ends the third chapter of the story. I believe Aang would be rather friendly, despite their previous interactions. He's rather forgiving, but even more willing to help, even enemies and where help isn't wanted. It was fun to write Azula as uncomfortable to his positive attitude towards her, but it wasn't something I had planned. It just happened.
Something I enjoy is showing that Azula is a good manipulator without having her manipulate anyone, simply by having her realise when someone else is trying to manipulate her. Both Aang and Zuko do it, which is one reason they might be a little friendlier than they would otherwise. Let me know how it works out.
Piandao's quote is one I've heard from several sources, including myself, but I don't know if there's anyone specific to attribute it to.
/ Another Duck