Chapter 3

You are worth it

Quinn really didn't know what she was doing right now. When Brittany had told her that she needed her to look for Santana because she couldn't find her, she had wanted to say no. Even if their relationship had gotten better during last summer, after their New-York talk in the hotel room, she still didn't really know how to act around the Latina. It was getting better, they could even consider each other as friends, but their history together had been so chaotic that they were taking things slowly, testing the waters each time they tried to do another step towards each other. The trust between them was slowly recovering from all the blows it had taken the year before, with Quinn's revelation to Sue about Santana's summer surgery, and Santana's revenge when she had indirectly given her mono, making Sam break up with her when the truth about her cheating on him with Finn had been revealed. Things were slightly better between them, but she still didn't know how to react if she was faced with an angry Latina who was obviously hiding from everybody.

But the look of sadness on the face of the blonde girl in front of her had been heartbreaking, and her blue eyes were pleading. So when she had given her that puppy look she knew Quinn couldn't resist, pouting her lips and looking at her like… That, she just couldn't say no.

"Fine" she had sighted, shaking her head, her newly pink short locks flying around her face. "I'll try to find her."

The smile that had erupted on Brittany's face was worth it, she had thought when the blonde girl had pulled her into a giant hug.

So now she was there, looking in every place she could think the Latina might have gone, swearing against her under her breathe for making her lose her day. And miss her lunch break.

If this isn't worth it, Lopez, you're so gonna pay for it, I swear.

She figured out Santana was missing lunch on purpose, knowing it was the moment when most people could see her injured face. She had tried almost all the rooms of McKinley, but still couldn't seem to find her. She stopped in front of the auditorium.

I should have come here sooner. She thought to herself, hearing soft muffled cries coming out of the room. She hesitated a little, looking around to see if Brittany was not somewhere near her, so that she could tell her to go instead of her. But the blonde was nowhere to be found, so the ex-Cheerio slowly made her way into the auditorium, as quietly as possible.

Santana was there, crying in one of the seats of the auditorium, alone in the dark.

Quinn stopped next to the door, a little bewildered at first. Apart from when she was drunk or trying to get some attention, Santana never cried. So seeing her here by herself, crying silent tears, was heartbreaking.

She slowly made her way towards her, sitting beside her. Santana didn't acknowledge her presence, but whipped away the tears, wincing when her hand accidently brushed the bruise on her cheek.

Quinn studied her face, her mind taking in the sight of her red eyes and her quivering lip.

"What do you want Fabray?"

Quinn was surprised by the tone of the girl's voice. It was like she was saying the words and not meaning it; instead of her usual bitchy tone, she just said it as a statement, almost as a sight. Like she didn't really want to say it, but it was a natural reaction that she couldn't help.

"Brittany's looking for you everywhere. She feels like you're avoiding her, I think. It's what you're doing, right?"

"I… kind of needed to clear my head before talking to her."

Her voice was quiet, calm, really not Santana-like, and Quinn wasn't sure if it was an hint of sadness that she heard in it.

"Santana… What really happened?" Quinn asked cautiously, her eyes never leaving the girl's face.

She was genuinely concerned for her friend now. She had never seen her so broken before, and she was afraid about what she might discover. What could have happened for her to be in that state? What was this injury on her cheek due to?

There was a silence, followed by a sight. Like if Santana had decided that, at this point, telling her wasn't that much of a big deal anymore.

"Remember that time in New-York City when you told us about how you just wanted somebody to love you?"

Quinn nodded silently. She remembered it like it was yesterday. The way she had shouted at her two only friends, before starting crying in front of them and telling them about one of her biggest insecurities. It wasn't one of her best memories… She realized Santana couldn't see her in the dark, so she cleared her voice.

"Yeah, I do."

Another silence.

"Remember how I, for once, listened to you and stopped judging you? And just tried to be there for you because it was more important than any different we might have had before?"

Yes, she definitely remembered that too. It had surprised her, at this time, how Santana had reacted and helped her. She was not used to that soft side of the girl who had thrown her into a locker at the beginning of the year. But then again, there was a lot about the Latina that she didn't know.

Santana didn't wait for an answer, and kept talking in that slow, calm voice that felt like it wasn't hers.

"I would like you to do the same for me now. I would like you to forget about all the things that keep us apart for once. I just… I can't do it if you're going to judge me after, or use what I'm about to tell you as a way to topple me."

"Okay" she murmured.

"Okay?"

Santana was looking at her now, brown eyes looking for some sort of sign on the blonde's face that would show she was being honest. Quinn couldn't blame her; after all, their history together wasn't really based on trust.

"I promise. I won't say anything."

"Good."

There was a silence, and Quinn waited for Santana to keep talking.

The girl took a big inspiration, and closed her eyes, like looking for some sort of strength inside her that would push her to say what she had to say. Her voice was almost not quivering when she finally spoke.

"Remember that same evening, when I told you I knew how to make you feel better? How did you… How did you know?"

Quinn was first confused about what she was trying to say, but she didn't want to ask. It seemed hard enough for the Latina to open up like she was doing, and she didn't want to push her any more. So instead of asking her what she meant, she replayed in her head the conversation they had had that day in their New-York hostel room, and stopped at one sentence.

I'm fine, Santana, but I'm really not that into that.

She remembered now. Oh my God. Everything was racing in her mind. The pinky-linking. The soft whispers at night during pajamas parties, late after everybody else was already asleep. Landslide. The longing looks. Everything was mixing, up with one certitude. She always knew.

The girl beside her was looking at her, waiting for an answer.

"I just knew, Santana. You weren't that subtle anyway."

There was a small silence, before the Latina spoke again quietly, now looking at her feet.

"Do you think anyone knows?"

Quinn deeply thought about it before answering.

"Honestly… I don't know. I think they know something is up between you both; they just don't realize the depth of it."

There was another silence, before Santana spoke again, with a soft broken voice Quinn had never heard from her. And never thought she would.

"Q?"

"Yes?"

"I… I think I'm a lesbian."

"Yeah, I know."

Silence.

"My parents know it too."

Oh shit. That was something else. Santana's parents were almost as religious as Quinn's parents, and they were even more old-fashioned if it was possible. Tolerance and acceptance were not usual words in the Lopez household; you followed the family rules, never broke them, and if you did, you were severely punished. When you saw how Quinn's parents reacted to her pregnancy, you could only imagine the storm that might have overcome the Lopez house at the announce of their only daughter being a lesbian. She couldn't even imagine it.

"How did they…?"

"I told them last night", said the Latina, pointing to her bruised cheek slowly turning to black, and the small cut on her face.

Quinn swallowed slowly.

"I'm sorry", she whispered, studying her friend's face. "I know how it feels."

She was referring to last year, when Finn had told her parents that she was pregnant, and she had ended up kicked out of her own house. A painful experience, really. But that was the reason she could look at Santana today and say without lying that she had been there too.

"You know, my mom said she would rather have her daughter be pregnant at 16 than being a lesbian. She wishes you were her daughter," said Santana, laughing bitterly.

That sentence, plus the bitterness in Santana's voice, sent Quinn over the edge. She couldn't stand that feeling in her voice, like she was giving up on everything. She got up of her seat, and knelt in front of Santana, cupping her friend's face and looking at her right in the eyes.

"Santana, you are an amazing person. And THIS, this does not define who you are, that's just a part of your identity that makes you even more amazing than you already are. So you have to stop listening to your parents, because these crazy people will never see the best in you and if you keep listening to what they say, you're gonna end up thinking that you're worthless, when clearly you are not."

"And how would I know, Quinn?" Santana was angry by now, yanking away Quinn's hand, and her voice raised as she said all the things she had kept to herself for the last few years. "I'm always second choice! Puck chose me only because he couldn't have you, Brittany chose Stubble MacCripplePants over me… Hell, even Sylvester picked me to be the head of the Cheerios only because you were pregnant! I am not the brightest kid in class, nor am I the best singer in Glee Club. I am Hispanic, and as if it wasn't enough, now I am a lesbian. You and I both know how things work here. How would it be different anywhere else? My life is a complete failure, and there's no reason it's going to change! Can't you see it?"

"Santana, stop it please.''

Her voice was calm, almost threatening, and it stopped the girl in front of her right in her tracks.

She took her hand in hers, and looked at her right in the eyes, talking slowly so that every word would make its way into Santana's head.

"You are worth it, Santana. I believe in you, and I believe that you will grow up to be an amazing woman. You're gonna go to college, get a crazy job, kick some ass, and yell at random people all day long like a boss. And you're gonna meet someone who will love you for who you are, no matter what, and that you will love back in return. Maybe it'll be Brittany, maybe it won't, but I can assure you that it's gonna happen. Because even if you hide it with all this bitchy attitude, I know that inside you are a wonderful girl. And if your parents can't see it, then they can go fuck themselves."

Santana stayed stunned, less by the final swearing than by the whole speech before, looking at the blonde ex-Cheerio in front of her for some sign that she was lying; but all she could find in her eyes was honesty, and it made her eyes water.

"Thanks Q", she murmured, as a tear fell down her cheek.

Quinn woke up, stretching her legs, and sat back beside Santana.

"Come here", she said, wrapping an arm around her friend's body and putting her head on her shoulder. Santana let herself get wrapped in Quinn's arms and closed her eyes, letting the tears fall freely on her face.

Brittany had heard almost all the exchange between her two friends, hidden in the shadows of the room in order not to interrupt their conversation. But when she heard it was over, she allowed herself to come and sit beside them, adding herself to the human shield Quinn was already wrapping around Santana. This latter leaned into the known embrace, not even opening her eyes, and smiled sadly at the thought that even if her parents didn't want to see her anymore, she still had her friends to support her.

They were there. The Unholy Trinity. Forever here for each other.

A/N : I really hope you liked this chapter, it was an important one for me... So please tell me what you thought about it. I'm going on holiday for a few days, and will hopefully come back with a new chapter if you still want to know what's next !