Just A Typical Weasley Christmas, Right?: Chapter 3

Thank you guys so much! We got a bunch of reviews last chapter and they all completely made my day. So thank you so much to you guys and also for continuing with this story. Most of you thought that it was Lily, so let's see if you're right, shall we?

Quote of the Post: "You foul, loathsome, evil little cockroach!" -Hermione Granger

Disclaimer: It seems that I made the Polyjuice potion wrong….so I can't pretend to be the incredible Jk Rowling

I Partake In A Mock Fight

"Alright, let's go over what we know," Scorp said as we steadied ourselves after apparating down the road leading to the Burrow. (We apparated there since we wanted to be able to talk and critique our plan outside of the earshot and vision of the inhabitants of the Burrow.)

"One, Lily has been acting very suspicious, however, I don't think that she's behind this because she looked genuinely surprised when I found the fake ring. Nevertheless, we shouldn't completely rule her out yet, you know how good an actress she is," I reply.

"Two," Scorp continues, "it probably was done by the hands of a well experienced prankster since it required time and attention to detail considering the scarlet wrapping paper. That rules out Lucy, since she's still a budding prankster, Vic and Teddy, since they haven't pulled a prank in years, Molly, Louis since he's been with Haley Finnigan almost 24/7, and Hugo because this really wasn't his style of prank."

"Three, this probably wasn't James' work since it required a lot of observation and it wasn't as spontaneous as his pranks usually are," I said.

"Do you think that one of your aunts or uncles could've pulled this off?" Scorp questioned.

"Uncle George probably would be able to pull it off, but I can't see him doing something this drastic. I don't think that my other uncles would have the time and the patience to plan and carry out the prank, and I doubt that my aunts would try anything that had a chance of ruining our relationship," I deducted.

"Alright, so that leaves Domi, Roxy, Fred, Al, Alice, and Lily," Scorp concluded.

"Right," I agreed. "Now, don't forget to watch for their reactions, but we still have to be convincing. All right? And just remember that I don't mean a word of what I say in there," I say a little hesitantly as the Burrow came into view. In all honesty, I was scared, and that wasn't a feeling that I was comfortable with or used to for that matter. But I was practically quaking in my bunny slippers, terrified of what Scorp was going to say, and what I was going to say as well. I knew that we wouldn't mean a word of what we said, but that didn't take away the hurt and the sting of our words. Words, even if you knew that they were lies, could hurt more than fire if it was coming from someone you love, and it also planted a seed of doubt in our minds. I was almost tempted to call off our little revenge prank just so that I wouldn't have to deal with all that pain. Almost. However, I knew that if I didn't do this then I would always wonder about who would've played a diabolical prank like this. I wasn't sure if I would hex whoever was responsible until they were just a scorch mark, or if I would give them a hug and congratulate them on a prank well played.

"And I promise that I won't mean a single word, Rose," Scorpius reassured, snapping me out of my thoughts. I smiled at him and looked into his beautiful blue-gray eyes. I gave him a quick peck on the lips, before grabbing his hand and walking the remainder of the way to the door.

When we got there I reluctantly slid my hand out of his grasp and I slipped my new engagement ring off of my finger and into my pocket. Scorp began to protest, but seemed to realize that it would give everything away and nodded at me.

"Don't worry, once this is all over and done with I'm putting that ring on and I'm never taking it off again," I reassured. Scorp smiled at me.

"Alright, Scarlet are you ready?" He asked.

"As ready as I'm ever going to be," I murmured and we faced the wooden door. I closed my eyes and pushed it open.

(Insert the Awesomest Line Break Here)

I stormed into the entrance of the Burrow, willing myself to get angry. Scorp stomped in after me and slammed the door behind us. Well, no turning back now. I whipped around and faced Scorpius; I could feel my face glowing with fury.

"YOU FOUL, LOATHSOME, EVIL LITTLE COCKROACH!" I screamed, I wasn't sure where the insult came from; I just said the first thing that came to the top of my head.

"YOU COCKY LITTLE KNOW-IT-ALL, WEASLEY!" He retaliated, and I couldn't help but feel hurt by it even though I knew that he didn't mean them.

"KNOW-IT-ALL THAT'S THE BEST YOU'VE GOT?" I challenged. At this point my family members had started filing into the entryway, wondering what all the yelling was about. I saw Lily's face and observed that she still seemed to be in shock.

"NO WEASLE, I WASN'T DONE YET! YOU THINK THAT YOU'RE SO SPECIAL, THAT YOU'RE THE BEST, JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE FAMILY IS GREAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU'RE GREAT," he screamed and I willed tears to stream down my face as I discreetly observed the reactions of our audience. Domi looked like she was consumed by her fury and Xavier had to hold her back so that she wouldn't kill Scorpius in her rage. (Domi was incredibly protective and would automatically attack anyone that said anything against any one of her friends or family members.) I ruled her out, there was no way that she was faking that rage and she wouldn't want to draw any attention to herself if she was the culprit.

"WELL YOU'RE SO HORRID THAT NOT EVEN A DEMENTOR WOULD KISS YOU!" I yelled furiously, every word painful to say, but I hoped he got my hint. My main insult (Dementor) had started with a d and I said not before it. Not D. As in it wasn't Domi. Scorp and I had worked on a way that we could narrow down our list of culprits and still keep up our act. This is what we'd come up with.

"YEAH," Scorpius raged, and I had to bite back a smile, he'd understood. "WELL, NOT EVEN A NON-SMELLING ROACH WOULD BE ABLE TO WITHSTAND ONE WHIFF OF YOUR BREATH!" I gave him the slightest of nods, signaling that I'd understood: it wasn't Roxy. I let out a laugh.

"THAT'S THE BEST YOU'VE GOT, MALFOY? YOU'VE REALLY DEGRADED TO BREATH-RELATED INSULTS?" I screamed while I observed another suspect out of the corner of my eye. Fred looked absolutely terrified and looked on the verge of running away and hiding behind his mummy. I choked back a laugh. It definitely wasn't Fred, apparently he was too afraid of mine and Scorp's combined rage.

"NO, THAT'S NOT THE BEST I'VE GOT! YOU'RE SO REPULSIVE THAT EVEN IF YOU WALKED DOWN A DARK ALLEY, CARRYING A PILE OF GALLEONS, THE POOREST MAN IN THE WORLD WOULDN'T MUG YOU!" Scorp shouted. I winced, that one was a punch to the gut, but I was able to figure out his little riddle: it wasn't Alice or Ali as we sometimes called her.

"YEAH WELL YOU'RE SO SLOW ON YOUR BROOM THAT YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO OUTPACE A BUTTERFLY USING A FIREBOLT 3000!" I shrieked, desperately hoping that he understood. That one was a little trickier since I said the butterfly first. I almost jumped for joy when he gave me a slight nod. We were only down to Al and Lily now. I observed their faces, trying to unearth the culprit. Lily still looked completely in shock. I was about to glance at Al but Scorp started yelling again.

"WELL YOU'RE SUCH A TERRIBLE GIRLFRIEND THAT NOT EVEN THE GIANT SQUID IN THE LAKE WOULD DATE YOU!" His words cut through me like a knife and I stumbled backwards, and put my head in my hands, but I still figured out his puzzle. It wasn't Lily, so that left Al. Time to end our big spectacle. I looked up, tears cascading down my face. (And they weren't entirely fake either.) But I gave him the tiniest of nods.

"We'll if you feel that way," I whispered, "then I guess that we're done." I didn't mean a single word, but each word was as painful as basking in fire. There was a collective gasp from the peanut gallery. It looked like we had played our parts well.

"Yeah," Scorp whispered back, tears streamed down his face before he rushed out of the door. I wiped away my tears, and acted as though I was trying to put on a brave face, before marching up the steps and into my room where I collapsed onto my bed in a great heap. Only to jump back up, belatedly remembering that my bed was soaked through with arctic water from James' morning wake up call. Instead I collapsed onto the maroon carpet and started scheming.

Time to start Phase Two. Al wouldn't know what hit him.

Comment your favorite insult! Please?