My eyes slammed open, hoping I'd misheard her, but before I could try to avoid the question, she asked again.

"Why have you been acting weird?"

Okay, don't panic, she doesn't know anything you don't want her to know, I tried to calm myself down a little. I forced out a laugh that sounded more like a bark. "Weird? I'm not acting weird."

"Really? Because you've been avoiding me lately." Her voice began to waver, warning me that if I didn't do something fast, she'd be in meltdown mode, but she just kept talking, wavering voice rapidly turning into blubbering. "I do everything I can to interact with you and you don't want anything to do with me and I don't know why." By then she was full on crying. Shit. Too late I can't believe I had overlooked the fact that drunk Tamara was even more emotional than sober Tamara. I knew what I could do to make her feel better, all she needed was a hug, and a little bit of reassurance. I took a deep breath, sitting up and pulling her up with me.

"Come here, T." I sighed, giving her the hug I knew she wanted. She cried into my shoulder, and I looked up for anything that could distract me. After she let go, she looked me directly in the eyes.

"I never want to lose you, Jenna."

"You've tried ditching me before. It didn't work, remember?" I was trying to make light of her heavy, it was weighing me down too much.

"No, seriously, Jenna."

My smile disappeared, and I struggled to keep the color from draining out of my face. "O-okay. I'm not going anywhere. Let's go to sleep now though, okay?" I lie back down and turned back over on my side, trying to get as far away from her as I could without her noticing.

"Hey J?"

*Ugh, this is the night that never ends*, I muttered under my breath. "Yeah, T?"

"Love you."

I winced. She could've said anything else, and I would've been fine. I would've even handled "hate you" better. But no, she had to say she loved me, as if it hadn't been hard enough just now to keep my thoughts to myself. Now, I was forced to put them out there, but disguised as something else, which somehow felt worse.

"Love you too." I said quickly, trying to pretend not to care. "goodnight."