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Chapter 3
He tried not to think about how much he wanted to be with Blaine, but it was no easy task. In fact, Kurt was beginning to think it was impossible. It certainly didn't help his situation when the other Dalton boys made too loud comments about Kurt and Blaine's relationship, or lack of. The entire student body, as well as some teachers, were all waiting for the two of them to become an item.
"Why couldn't Blaine be ugly?" Kurt asked Jake as the two studied together in their room. "If he wasn't so gorgeous I wouldn't be so in love with him."
"That's really shallow." Jake told him.
"I know, but you aren't any different." Kurt pointed out. "I've heard the way you talk about girls. You won't even speak to a girl unless you rate her seven out of ten for looks."
"Yeah but I'm a straight guy, being shallow is expected." Jake shrugged. "You're gay; you shouldn't be so obsessed with looks."
"That's ridiculous." Kurt retorted with a roll of his eyes. "You're very fortunate I know you're not homophobic or I'd have to kick your lopsided behind for such a rude comment."
"My ass isn't lopsided." Jake said confidently. "And you could never take me in a fight."
"Sure I could, I'm a hair puller." Kurt replied. "And I'll have no reservations about scratching your eyes out or biting your testicles off."
"Ouch, you gays are into some kinky shit." Jake laughed. "I bet you and Blaine would be really feisty in bed."
"Well from the looks of things I'll never find out if your prediction is true or not." Kurt sighed. "He refuses to be with me until he's told me personal stuff about his past, but he won't tell me any of it until he feels he's ready."
"That's his decision." Jake shrugged. "You should respect it."
"I do respect it." Kurt insisted. "I just don't like it. Have you any idea how difficult it is just to be near him? When he's close by all I want to do is kiss him."
"From what you moan in your sleep you wanna do more than kiss him." Jake sniggered.
"Oh shut up." Kurt huffed aiming a kick at Jake's chair which only served to amuse the shaggy haired blonde further.
XXX
As challenging as it was to be so close to Blaine yet unable to touch him in the ways he wanted to, Kurt continued to put himself through the unbearable torture. Any time the two would find themselves gazing into one another's eyes a fraction too long, Kurt's heart would speed up and he'd struggle to breathe. Just the simplest of touches from Blaine, a hand on the shoulder, a playful dig in the ribs, would make Kurt's knees go weak. He'd watch Blaine perform, and Kurt melted every time, just like he did when he first met Blaine and watched him perform 'Teenage Dream'.
Then any time Blaine would look away from him, thereby severing any eye-contact, Kurt's heart would clench painfully before falling to rest somewhere in the knots of his intestines. Every time Blaine's hands were not innocently touching some part of Kurt's body, his flesh would itch to feel the touch of the older boy. And if Blaine wasn't singing, or speaking, or smiling, or if he simply wasn't in Kurt's line of vision, then Kurt would feel cold, frozen.
He didn't want to pressure Blaine into revealing his past horrors before he was ready, but Kurt was not known for being a patient being. It was beyond agonizing to face Blaine every day with the knowledge that they shared romantic feelings for each other, but for the time being, they could not act upon them.
Kurt could not kiss Blaine if he wanted to, or knot his fingers in Blaine's dark curly locks, or strip him of the blazer he always wore to view and explore the body hidden underneath. He didn't know what Blaine looked like without clothes on, but Kurt was sure the boy must be perfect. It took all his self-control not to pin Blaine against any available surface, strip him, and kiss, touch and lick every inch of his skin.
Teenage boys battling with lust and desire was no laughing matter. Countless nights, Kurt would lock himself in the bathroom, hand on his dick and fist in his mouth to stifle the moans that threatened to sound. He was sure Jake knew what he was doing, but his roommate never commented on it. In return, Kurt made no mention of the times when Jake would lock himself in the bathroom before emerging with a satisfied look on his face.
He called Mercedes on a regular basis, revealing all his frustrations to her. She listened attentively and made reassuring comments, but she couldn't solve his problems for him. Although the two friends were both talented singers and had an incredible sense of style, neither of them were experts in the field of relationships. They often tossed ideas around about what Blaine's past demons could possibly be, but until Blaine was ready to talk to Kurt, they would never know how near or far they were from the truth.
"Maybe he's a superhero." Mercedes suggested on the phone one night.
"Really 'Cedes?" Kurt asked with a quirked eyebrow she couldn't see. "It sounds like you've been spending a lot of time with Brittany."
"Well I have." Mercedes answered. "More than I ever used to anyway. Now that you're not here anymore I'm talking to everybody from Glee club more frequently. I really miss you baby."
"I miss you too." Kurt sighed. "You're still my best girl, you know that right?"
"Well duh," Mercedes laughed. "You're at an all boy's school, Kurt, there's no way any girl could replace me."
He laughed along with her for a while before listening to her talk about the sleepover she'd had with Rachel, Tina and Quinn. Hearing about their night caused an ache in Kurt's chest. He really missed having his slumber parties with Mercedes. Sometimes they would invite Tina and Quinn when she had been living with Mercedes, but usually it was just the two of them and that's the way Kurt had liked it best.
"It feels like I haven't seen you forever." Mercedes said mournfully. "You need to get your skinny white boy ass down here and visit us all again."
"I'll be down this weekend." Kurt told her. "I promise."
"You'd better be." Mercedes replied and Kurt could hear the smile in her voice. "And make sure you look hot, I'm not having you on my arm in the mall if you're wearing that Dalton uniform. For you, it's tight pants or nothing, not those baggy things."
"I assure you Mercedes, I will look positively fabulous." Kurt answered her. "Only the best for my favourite girl."
"That's the attitude of my favourite male diva." Mercedes laughed. "I wish we could talk longer but my Spanish homework won't do itself." She said apologetically.
"I'll call you tomorrow, 'Cedes." Kurt said.
"Great. I can't wait to see you this weekend." Mercedes responded before they made their goodbyes and hung up.
A fond smile formed on Kurt's lips as he thought of Mercedes and the rest of New Directions. A sigh soon spilled from his mouth as he thought of how much he missed them, his dad and Carole too. He lay back on his bed thinking about his friends and family. Being away from home was not easy, but he knew he was safer in the walls of Dalton Academy than he was at McKinley with the threat of Karofsky constantly hanging in the air.
"Hey you." A voice said from the doorway and Kurt looked over to see Blaine leaning casually against the door frame. "Can I come in?" He asked.
"Sure." Kurt replied and Blaine stepped fully into the room, carefully closing the door behind him.
"You look troubled." Blaine observed as he perched on the edge of Jake's bed.
"I'm just feeling a little homesick." Kurt explained. "It's silly."
"Not at all." Blaine told him. "We all have our moments when we miss our families. I'm afraid that's something that will never fade, but it does get easier in time."
"Once again, thank you for your soothing words of wisdom." Kurt teased and Blaine ducked his head a little to hide the light blush. "So, what brings you to my room on this spectacularly uneventful evening?"
"Do I need an agenda to see the most gorgeous friend I've ever had?" Blaine asked with a charming smile that quickly fell when Kurt frowned at him.
"Don't say things like that." Kurt said as he sat up straight on his bed, feet on the floor. "Not unless you're going to shove your tongue down my throat afterwards."
"Sorry." Blaine apologised. "I know our situation is… awkward."
"Would it really be so terrible if I just kissed you now?" Kurt asked staring deep into Blaine's eyes.
"No, kissing you could never be terrible." Blaine answered.
"So…?" Kurt questioned as he moved gracefully across the room to sit beside Blaine. "Why can't I?" He rested his forehead against Blaine's, their lips not quite touching as they shared their breath.
"Because I'm still not ready." Blaine told him in a whisper. "I don't want to jeopardise the friendship we have."
"I don't want to either." Kurt replied quietly. "I want to improve it." He lifted one hand to rest on Blaine's cheek.
"We might destroy it completely." Blaine said as his eyes fluttered closed and he leaned in to the comfort of Kurt's hand. "If you knew the truth about me, about what I've been through, I fear you'd never look at me in the same way again."
"Impossible." Kurt told him. "You'll always be perfect to me."
"Oh Kurt, I am far from perfect." Blaine replied opening his eyes again. "You shouldn't worship me the way you do, I'm not worth it. Most of what you know about me is an act. Before coming to Dalton, I sculptured myself a mask to prevent people from seeing the real me. If I step out of costume and reveal myself to you, then you'll probably be disappointed."
"Just one kiss?" Kurt asked hopefully as one of Blaine's hands wrapped around his wrist that was joined to the hand that was stroking Blaine's cheek. "Something to hold on to while I wait for you to be ready to tell me everything."
"If I kiss you once I don't think I'll be able to stop." Blaine breathed.
"That's fine with me." Kurt responded.
The two boys gulped simultaneously and Kurt darted his tongue out to moisten his lips, Blaine's eyes followed the movement.
"Please?" Kurt begged.
Unable to resist, Blaine closed the gap between them and brought their mouths together for the first time. Kurt's lips parted for him and their tongues introduced themselves to one another, shy and slow at first before their pent up desire broke out. Their tongues sparred passionately and moans and whimpers slipped out, neither boy knowing or caring which sound came from who. Kurt's fingers knotted themselves into Blaine's gelled back locks while Blaine manoeuvred Kurt so that he was straddling his lap. One hand travelled up to the back of Kurt's neck, the other rested at Kurt's lower back, just above his ass.
The moment was broken by Jake entering the room and clearing his throat. Gasping for breath, Kurt and Blaine detached their mouths from one another and Kurt climbed off of Blaine's lap. He kept his eyes fixed on Blaine, but Blaine would not return the eye-contact. He simply wiped a drop of spittle from his bottom lip as he left the room.
"My bed?" Jake asked looking at Kurt.
"Sorry." Kurt mumbled. "Just happened."
"So, how was it?" Jake asked curiously.
"Amazing." Kurt answered still struggling to get his breath back. "I need to…"
"Use the bathroom." Jake finished knowingly with a smirk on his face.
"Oh shut up." Kurt snapped before making his way to their shared bathroom so he could relieve himself of the erection Blaine's kiss had given him.
To Be Continued
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