A/N: Hey guys, sorry about the wait for the update. Life sort of just happened. Hope you enjoy :)
Chapter 3 - Meetings
'Miss Swan!' Oh dear Emma how I want to hug you.
'Geez, back to Miss Swan? Did I do something wrong?' Yes. You started dating a dirty pirate.
'No, sorry I just wasn't expecting visitors at this time of night. Come in.' I step aside allowing her to enter my home. She takes off her signature red leather jacket and hangs it up on the coat rack. We walk to the living room where I offer her anything to drink. Sure that's a good idea, Regina, let's get her drunk. Emma accepts a beer and I pour a glass of red wine for myself. Sitting down on the couch she looks thoughtful. Naturally I find this adorable and irresistible. We sit down for I don't even know how long, at least a couple of glasses/bottles.
'I hope you know that I'm willing to do everything to help you figure all this out.' She claims while looking at me with a serious facial expression. 'You can say that you're fine all you want, but remember that I know you Regina. I know when you're lying. You got upset earlier, was it because of Killian?' I can't look her in the eyes right now, afraid I might give in and declare my love for her; damn it Swan, I love you but you're too busy with him to see it. Of course he was the reason I got upset at your parents apartment. I say nothing though, instead I look away while trying to keep my breathing under control. 'You can tell me.' My eyes meet hers once again and I can tell she's concerned. 'Look, really I understand if you don't approve, but just at least just talk to me. Regina, please. Say something.' The way she says my name makes me feel weak.
Tears start to run down my face as my walls crumble down. All I can do is just sit there and let my emotions take over, I don't know what to say. I know what I want to say, well aware that I can't. In this moment I feel horribly pathetic. Suddenly I feel her arms around me as she pulls me into her warm and comfortable embrace. Leaning my head against her neck makes me cry even harder, louder. Her grip tightens; it feels like my heart has stopped. She's so close. Too close to be resisted. I somehow manage to take a deep breath and pull back from her; just enough that she's still holding me but I can see her face. She gives me a smile of reassurance.
'It's not fair.' My words sounds almost too cold. 'You all got your happy endings, well, at least you always have someone to share your time with.'
'So do you.'
'Who?'
'You've got Henry, surprisingly my parents are on your side now, despite the amount of times you've tried to kill them. You've got me. We're family, whether you like it or not.'
'That's not what I mean.'
'I know. I also know that you still need time to mourn Robin. Don't worry, the right guy will come along when you least expect it.' Deep breath, Regina, allow yourself a moment to think about how to respond.
'Honestly, Emma. I think I'm done with men for now.' I say as calmly as I can.
'Yeah? Well, we'll find you a woman then.' She states with an encouraging smile on her face. 'Do you have anyone in mind?' That is a very dreaded question I would love to scream the answer to, while at the same time wishing I had kept my big mouth shut.
'Uhm.. It's complicated.'
'It usually is, and I'm not really surprised you said that. Truth is I know you're the kind of person who says what she thinks most of the time. So, if she was readily available I'm sure you would have been with her now.' Really, Swan? This isn't exactly helping.
'Yeah.'
'I'm curious who she is though.' She winks at me and I feel like burying myself somewhere and never come back out. 'It doesn't matter, she's with someone else. She seems happy.'
'That doesn't mean she is. Looks can deceive.'
'You tell me.' 'What's that supposed to mean?'
'Nothing.' I lie and look away. Her hand grabs my chin forcing me to look at her. Frozen by my sudden nervousness I cannot do anything than just stare into her beautiful blue eyes. I suddenly feel the alcohol a lot; not trusting myself in this drunken state, my instinct tells me to magic myself away from here. Where to though? I'm already in my house after all. Instead I stay still. Why is she just staring at me? Swan say something. She doesn't. However she leans slightly forward. She stops mere inches away from my face, she really shouldn't be this close to me, especially when I'm this drunk.
'Everything will be okay.' She says with a straight face being all serious and all. I'm panicking. I hate my body for moving in the wrong direction. My hand grabs hold of her cheek bone and pulls her the rest of the way. It's not true that I hate my body, her lips are so soft. She can be so pissed at me, in this moment of time I don't even care if she'll never speak to me again because this kiss is completely worth it. Wait. Is she actually kissing me back? We break apart. She looks at me and I cannot for the life of me read her face. Next thing I know is that she pushes me back such that I lean agains the couch and she climbs on top of me and presses her lips against mine once again. This whole experience is more surreal than anything else that has been going on the past couple of days. Her tongue slips into my mouth as I wrap my arms around her back, pulling her closer. It's impossible to describe just how much I want her; never wanting to let go of this moment. If I could freeze time and keep replaying these minutes for all eternity.
Emma pulls back.
'Regina, we can't..' she starts.
'I know.' On the verge of tears I really wish I had somewhere to poof myself off to.
'Fuck.' She states and climbs off me. Emma is now standing up looking as if she is unsure what to do with herself.
'I'm sorry, Emma.'
'No, don't be. I messed up. Honestly, I never thought I had a chance with you. Really since the day Henry brought me to Storybrooke I wanted to rip the clothes of you. Despite you trying to get rid of me and the countless amounts of times you've tried to kill my parents. I couldn't help being attracted to you. But I'm with Hook now. And after everything we've been through he deserves that I give it a try.'
'No, Emma. He really does not. True you have been through a lot, but the majority of that have been seriously bad things. You might be able to tell when I'm lying, but I can tell that you don't trust him. Not truly, and truth is that he doesn't trust you completely either. Your entire relationship is founded upon lies and deceit. At least the two of us have always been pretty much completely honest, if anything we have always come clean in the end.'
'That's not true! I DO trust him. And I love him. You're just being jealous and drunk right now.' My words clearly upset her and knowing I was right, knowing that deep inside she knows too, I do nothing as I watch her storm out of the living room. Seconds later I hear the front door slam. I tilt my head back, take a deep breath and allow my tears to finally flow.
The next morning, I have a slight feeling of being hung over. Why did I continue to drink after Emma had left? Looking into the mirror I manage to make myself presentable, it will have to do. The weekly town meeting is in half an hour and right now that's the last place I want to go. It's not because the meetings are boring, they definitely can be, but I'm not ready to face Miss Swan so soon after what took place last night.
At the town hall I notice that I'm the last to arrive. This is very new to me, especially since Emma is always late. We all have a seat in the meeting room. I do my usual introduction speech, trying to be motivational and supportive and all that heroic stuff. During my speech I partially struggle to keep my focus with her sitting there across the table from me. Frighteningly close, but at the same time oh so far away. Her presence is causing an unwanted nervousness. I'm not aware of how much she remembers, if she remembers anything at all. Both of us had had a fair share of alcohol, so if the odds are in my favour she probably has no idea what happened last night. However, I don't know who I'm trying to kid, the odds are rarely ever in my favour. I finish off my speech and pass the word to Snow. There is no doubt that creating hope is her expertise, so I'm confident in leaving it to her and thereby giving the Charmings control of the decision making; for now anyway. Truth is I'm too distracted to really care right now about what is going on. It's as if I can still feel her breath on my skin which causes my stomach to knot up. This I do not at all regard as a pleasant feeling or state to be in. It's funny how one moment can change everything that matters. Yesterday my main priority was to figure out what have been happening around town lately with the introduction of the people from the land of untold stories. Today, all that I care about is to find out how Emma is feeling right now. Through Snow's speech all I can do is sit deep in my own thoughts; secretly I'm horrified of the consequences of my actions. I'm scared of getting hurt again if I get my hopes up, I therefore decide that it is best to anticipate the worst case scenario.
Looking down at the table I pretend to take notes, if anything it is to try and distract myself. I look up to find Emma staring at me. Keeping eye contact with her for a couple of seconds I'm not sure what to put into this. Is the saviour mad at me? Does she want an encore? Probably not. Maybe she really can't remember and is confused as to what happened when she went to my mansion. I send her a tiny smile and as a response she looks away. I cannot describe the slight disappointment this makes me feel. All I want to do is stand up and run over to her to hold her tight and tell her how sorry I am and how much she really truly does mean to me, obviously I don't actually do this because of my fear of worsening the entire situation.
The meeting drags out for what feels like an eternity. Luckily I don't think anyone suspects that anything has happened between me and Emma. In reality, last night might not have had any effect at all. It can be brushed off as a drunken mistake and then never spoken of again. Hell, the kind of man that Hook is, or at least used to be, might even be happy about it and suggest further experimentation, involving him of course. This thought makes me want to throw up. Never ever will I consider doing anything intimate with that filthy pirate; nor do I understand why Emma has any interest in being with him in any possible way.
Suddenly everyone stands up and I realise the meeting is over. We all gather our things to each go our separate ways to do whatever they must have agreed upon doing this meeting where I clearly haven't been paying attention. It doesn't matter though, I'm perfectly capable of performing investigations on my own.
In the hallway I take a deep breath, 'Emma!'. I feel like it will be the best thing to talk things through sooner rather than later. She stops and turns to look at me. 'May I have a moment with you?' I look around, noticing Hook staring at me. 'Alone?'.
'Sure.' She says and makes a gesture that she's going to follow me into my office. Hook stays behind in the hallway with a puzzled look upon his face.