Chapter Three

Air Space

It took Jose a several minutes to realize where he was and what was happening. Looking around the first thing he saw was Donald. Smiling, Jose extended his wing.

"Olá Senor Donal', how we doing eh?"

Donald smiled and took Jose's wing.

"Do you know where you are Jose?" Donald asked.

Jose looked around once more, ultimately looking down, Jose immediately shrank back.

"Why are we up so high?" Jose screamed, "And what is that sound?" he asked looking up, having absolutely no idea that he was inside in a helicopter.

Panchito laughed, "You are in a helicopter mi amigo! Come over and give ol' Panchito a hug!"

Jose cringed at the sound of Panchito's voice, still remembering all the pain that Panchito had caused him over the years.

"Panchito?" Jose said, "Please tell me I'm dreaming Senor Donald. Please tell me that Panchito isn't in front of me. Please tell me that!"

Donald laughed halfheartedly, "Why would I lie to you?" he responded.

Jose gave Donald the evil eye, "Damn it Donald! Why did you bring him? Why! Are you trying to make my life a living hell? Is this revenge for the fireworks bull? I already told you I was sorry like a million times, what more do you want!"

Donald smiled at Jose and simply shook his head, "I already forgave you for that Joe" Donald answered, "I brought Panchito along because I knew that I couldn't do it without him."

Panchito puffed up his chest and beat it proudly, "That's right Senor" Panchito added, "We're the Three Caballeros. We stick together to the end."

Jose rolled his eyes and faced the rooster for the first time, his eyes burning red with hatred, his nostrils at the end of his beak flaring with rage.

Panchito shrank back a bit at the sight of Jose; "Eh?" he said turning to Donald, "what's going on?"

Donald only retained his smile and said nothing. Jose raised his wings as he attempted to go for Panchito's throat.

"I'm goanna kill you!" Jose screamed, "I'm goanna kill you with my bare hands...then I'm goanna reanimate you just so I can kill you again, violently-"

Jose pointed upwards

"By cutting off your head with those helicopter blades and then watch as your body runs around in circles in this helicopter before I finally kick it off and watch it fall to the ground and get eaten by sharks!"

Panchito shook this off, "Come on now you don't mean that do you-?"

Before Panchito could finish his sentence, Jose was already at his neck, choking him. Jose then began punching the rooster repeatedly.

"I appreciate you for saving my life Pistoles," Jose began, "I really do. But good God are you annoying as hell!"

Donald stood up, moving closer to Jose to get him off of Panchito when he thought that the rooster had had enough. In the meantime, Jose continued to beat Panchito senseless.

"Why are you doing this?" Panchito cried, "Why!"

Jose laughed sarcastically and turned to Donald, "Did you hear what he just said to me? He just asked why I was beating the shit out of him. As if he didn't already know..."

Jose gave on final punch to the rooster; this one gave Panchito a black eye.

Donald finally stepped in, "That's enough Jose" he said as he pulled him off of Panchito, "He isn't worth it."

Jose huffed, "You got that right...worthless piece of shit."

Panchito stood up, "Okay" he said, "I deserved that."

Panchito sat down back in his seat. Jose shook his head and grabbed Panchito's shirt collar.

"I believe" Jose replied as he lifted Panchito off of his feet and into the air, "that I put a restraining order on you. One thousand miles away at all times."

Jose lifted Panchito towards the edge of the helicopter.

"What are you doing?" Panchito yelled as he hung out of the helicopter looking down.

"Oh you know" Jose began again, "Nothing Really Specific."

Panchito's eyes grew wide at this, he began stammering, "N-n-no. Please! Anything but that, Nothing Really Specific is a nightmare. Do you know why?"

Jose shook his head in response, "Why Panchito?" he asked.

Panchito laughed hysterically as Jose's grip loosened, Panchito slowly began slipping.

"It's Nothing Really Specific."The rooster replied, "A place with absolutely no definition! It's a hodgepodge of random craziness. At least you have an idea on you are. That place is a mess!"

Jose then threw Panchito off the helicopter the rooster only flew away to safety.

Panchito struggled to maintain his balance at the high attitude, "I'll be back" he screamed as he leveled out, "You'll see...you need me!"

Jose rolled his eyes as Panchito became a distant dot of red in the hustle of the Rio streets.

Donald sighed and turned towards Jose, "We'll just do our best to avoid him."

Jose stared at him with confusion, "We?" Jose asked, "What do you mean 'We'?"

Donald shrugged, "I'm staying here for a days. I could use a vacation."

Jose shook his head in disagreement. "Look Donald" he said, "I appreciate you for saving my life. But it's still my life. Let me live it and I'll let you live yours."

Donald nodded in understanding as he handed Jose his clothes, which he put on without question. "Alright Jose" Donald replied somewhat sadly, "I'll leave you alone. But if you ever need anything-"

Donald lifted up his sleeve, revealing his bracelet

"Just buzz me."

Jose smiled and embraced his friend, "You've always been there for me, Senor. You and me, we're irmãos."

Donald smiled in response, remembering the little Portuguese that Jose had taught him years ago.

"Os três Caballeros, o tempo que você gosta ou não, são um bando de irmãos." Donald answered, "Para quem sempre fica comigo por grossas e finas, com sangue, suor e lágrimas, é meu irmão."

Jose stared at the duck in surprise, "Damn" he said, "that was beautiful. The readers won't understand it but that was beautiful."

Donald turned towards the audience that wasn't there. "You might just want to Google that" he replied, "seriously just Google it."

Jose raised an eyebrow, "Who are you talking to?" he asked, following Donald's gaze and only seeing the city.

"Were you talking to Rio Senor?" Jose said pressing harder for clarification.

Donald rolled his eyes, "No. I was talking to them" he exclaimed as he gestured towards the audience.

Jose laughed, "You are loucura Senor! Really you are."

Donald huffed in response, "I am not crazy. There's an audience right there, look!"

Jose followed Donald's wing as the duck gestured towards the audience. Jose only saw Rio.

"I don't see anything Donald" he said, "Did you consider going to therapy?"

Donald took offense to this, "I'm already in therapy" he grumbled.

Jose patted the duck's shoulder, "Then you my friend" he said as he pulled out a cigar and motioned for a light, which Donald gave, "need a new therapist. We have pretty good ones in Rio."

Jose stopped himself after this, for he realized what he had just done.

Donald shrugged, "Okay how good are they?"

Jose cringed and secretly began beating himself up, he did his best to cover it up.

"They're horrible" Jose began, "95% of their patients commit suicide by jumping off Pão de Açúcar."

Donald stared at him in confusion, "What's Pão de Açúcar Jose?"

Jose rolled his eyes, "Really? A paragraph ago you spoke fluent Portuguese and now you can't speak a word...stupid Americans and your language retention skills. You might know it as Sugarloaf Mountain."

Donald looked to his left and saw the mountain, "Is that it?" Donald asked.

Jose sighed in annoyance, "Yes Senor. That's Pão de Açúcar."

Donald gulped at the thought of all those people falling to their deaths.

"95% huh?" Donald asked fearfully.

Jose nodded slowly; thankfully that Donald was actually falling for his lie.

Donald thought his situation over, "Well" he said, "Since I'm a bird I can just fly away. I don't need to jump off. So...who's the best therapist in Rio?"

Jose slapped his face with his wing in disbelief.

"Para o amor de São Cristóvão!" (For the love of Saint Christopher)

Jose shook his head and continued, gesturing over to Rio, "The best therapist in Rio Donald...is Rio herself. Go experience it. Just go experience it, without me."

Donald nodded, finally getting the hint, as the helicopter approached the beaches, getting low enough to the ground for both birds to exit the helicopter and stick three point landings for no reason other than to look badass. Jose looked around and noticed that they were surrounded by girls, all of them in bikinis.

"Donald...how's your relationship with Daisy?" Jose asked with a concerned look on his face.

Donald also looked around, a large smile on his face.

"Who's Daisy!" he cried as he lifted his hands in complete and total surrender as he allowed himself to be surrounded by women, who graciously took of the tops of the bikinis.

"Yes!" Donald exclaimed, "I love this place."

Jose looked on in disbelief, hoping that Donald being surrounded by women would remind him of Daisy, and make him rethink his decision of staying in Rio.

"Damn it!" Jose yelled to himself, "Alright everyone that's it, show's over!"

At this all of the women put on their bikini tops and walked away to another part of the beach. Donald stared at them in shock.

"What was that!" he yelled to Jose, "I was about to get some"

Jose slapped Donald hard in the face, "You have a girlfriend Senor. As do I. Now shut up and go enjoy the other parts of Rio. Okay?"

Donald slumped his shoulders in defeat but complied with Jose's request and walked away towards the marketplace.

Jose began cursing to himself in Portuguese, promising himself that he would find a way to get rid of Donald and Panchito. Even it meant going to unfathomable, unspeakable lengths. But for now, Jose simply made his way back to the forest, heading towards his girlfriend's house as fast as he was able to fly.