Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Diaries or it's characters.
Mask On & Mask Off
"You have a beautiful home Megan…Elena" Damon says as he crosses the threshold. I turn to watch my sister's reaction to the new comers and I find that she is too busy having a silent conversation with Stefan.
Realizing that she is not going to reply, I force a polite smile on my face like my mama taught me "Thanks Damon…so, shall we go into the living room? We were about to have some coffee"
The mocking smile has not left his face the whole time, but now he is directing it to Stefan even as he answers my question. Better him than me. "Sure" he gives me a quick glance "Let me give you a hand with that."
"No!" I cringe at how fast I said that "Thanks anyway…you all go ahead I'll be right there with the coffee" I make may way into the kitchen thinking about how strange Damon seems to be. Yes, he is extremely handsome with those blue eyes, even thought I feel kind of bad that I checked out Caroline's boyfriend. However he reeks of bad boy and trouble under that expensive cologne. And yet, I decide that I will give him the Stefan treatment: innocent until proven guilty.
I wake up from my musings and quickly add a couple of mugs to the previously prepared coffee tray, as well as some dessert dishes and extra silverware. I start lifting the tray… and then I feel it. Some sort of chill runs down my spine. I barely turn my head to see if we left the window above the sink open and that's when my gaze collides with ice-cold blue eyes, eyes that are full of anger. I inhale so sharply. I feel like my lungs are burning and I barely stopped myself from screaming bloody murder. I could've sworn I was alone "Oh my God! Make some noise or something. Damon you almost gave me a heart attack" if my hands were free I would slap him.
The change takes only a second and his eyes are no longer cold and full of hate but instead are amused, as if he found real enjoyment in almost making drop the tray. Jerk. "Sorry" He doesn't look sorry at all "are you okay? I just came to help you carry that," he points to the heavy tray on my hands.
I don't know if it's the adrenaline or if Damon just makes me nervous-in the a handsome guy is in my house kind of way- but I start laughing, all fear forgotten and pass him over the tray "Yeah thanks, sorry I snapped at you, I'm just a little jumpy"
For an instant there I see some kind of warmth in his eyes as I continue to laugh at myself and I know I am not imagining things because for the briefest of moments he gives me something close to a friendly smile. And just like that, the moment is gone when he opens his big and sarcastic mouth "You need to be more careful, we don't want something bad happening to you, do we?"
He joins the others and I follow him into the living room like a lost puppy. I feel a little silly, how did he manage to scare the life out of me and at the same time make me feel embarrassed about it? As if I had done something wrong, as if I had been the creep that was standing silently behind him like some kind of stalker.
I shake the feeling off and sit next to Bonnie. I wish I had stayed in the kitchen though, if I thought that dinner was awkward this was by far a new low. Awkwardness thy name is Damon and Stefan Salvatore.
After a few minutes of silence -that I spent trying to avoid making eye contact with Damon- Caroline broke it with the worst topic that she could have chosen: high school football. My mother always said that while at a social gathering one must always steer clear of three subjects sports, religion and politics. Obviously my sweet, well-intended friend doesn't follow the same rule.
"I can't believe Mr. Tanner put you on the team! Tyler must be seething" Caroline says to Stefan as she laughs and plays with her scarf. She must have notice how tactless her comment was by the stern look on Elena's face and Stefan's awkward smile "But good for you, and go for it!"
"That's what I always tell him, you have to engage. You can't just sit there and wait for life to come to you. You have to go and get it." Damon's words would've sounded caring if not for the sardonic tone he used. Was he mocking Stefan for trying to fit in at school or Caroline for not having a word filter? Somehow I find myself wanting to smile. Damon Salvatore may be an ass, but at least he was kind of entertaining.
"Well, Elena wasn't so lucky today at practice. And Elena is the better-coordinated twin; I have no idea how you are ever going to catch up Megan. I mean it's only because you both missed summer camp" Caroline may not mean any harm, but that doesn't stop her words from hurting. I turn to look at Elena and we have a silent discussion. I try to reassure her as best as I can as she does me without actually saying anything.
"I'll work with them." Bonnie tries to mediate.
"I guess it could work if I put them in the back…" Caroline continues as if Bonnie hadn't said a word. The truth is that I don't even know if I want to rejoin the team. It used to make me happy to be part of cheerleading but it feels like it has been years since then. It makes me sad to feel like that, like when I finally outgrew my favorite Cinderella costume when I was in first grade.
"Neither of you seem like the cheerleader kind" Damon has a confused look, do we really don't look like the type?
"It's only because their parents died, they used to be way more fun!" and Caroline's lack of tact strikes again "and I say that with complete love and sensitivity"
I bite the inside of my mouth to stop myself from saying something that I won't truly mean and most likely regret, like she didn't use to be such a bitch. So instead I remind myself that I love Caroline and that she honestly doesn't mean anything by it.
I know we all feel like the awkwardness is back on the table after several minutes of silence, so in order to avoid any more unpleasantness I collect all the dirty dishes and whisper to Elena that I'll rinse them and put them in the dishwasher while she tries to salvage the situation.
As I am rinsing the last plate I hear his voice coming from behind me "Here, you forgot this one" Damon passes me over a coffee mug. But of course being the less coordinated twin –as Caroline so lovingly put it- as I reach to grab the cup from his hand my wet fingers fail to do their intended job. It happens in slow motion. It doesn't even give me time to gasp as I see the cup heading straight to floor; when in a movement so fast my brain barley registers it, Damon manages to catch the cup…a foot from the ground.
"Wow! Bravo!" I laugh for real this time as I reach to grab the cup again, making sure to have a nice hold on it as I put it in the dishwasher. "Thank you Damon! I can be a little clumsy sometimes"
And there it is again that smile, his honest almost friendly one "I like you, your laugh, you know how to laugh."
Awkward! Well, I don't know how to answer that. So I just smile shyly and pray to God that I don't blush in front of this man. It just won't do for me humiliate myself anymore tonight.
"So… are you going to stay in Mystic Falls or you are just passing through? Stefan said something about you not being the small town kind of guy," I say as we both start folding the table placemats.
"Well I can't let my baby brother stay here by himself. It's the responsible thing to do. Besides Zach, Stefan and I are all the only family we have left. Specially after She died" Damon's tone is nonchalant but those exceptional eyes of his betray him again, there's something off, I just don't know what.
"She?" As in their mother? I'm sure Stefan didn't mention any other female relative.
"Katherine of course. Stefan's first and only love… so far at least." Damon gives me a condescending smile. How was I support to know about her? I guess Elena hasn't told me everything yet. "She died a few years back. He was devastated of course." By this point he has lost his smile and his eyes have wondered to window.
"Wow! I had no idea…how did she died?" I feel a little morbid asking this, but the way that Damon is avoiding my eyes makes me curious.
"Fire…tragic fire." Damon answers and somehow he seems lost in his own thoughts. Is he remembering his brother's pain at such a terrible loss? "Actually, you and Elena remind me of her," his sardonic smile is back. I don't understand why I feel relief that his mask is back on. "She was beautiful, a lot like you in that department. She was also very complicated, selfish, at times not very kind, but sexy and seductive." The compliment is lost on me, partly because I know he didn't mean anything by it and partly because of the way he talks about his brother's ex-girlfriend makes me think that the Salvatore brothers don't follow the bro code. Interesting. That explains the pain in his voice when he talked about Katherine's death.
"I'm sorry Damon" I can feel the sad smile on face filled with empathy at his loss.
"What? Why?" Damon looks at me like I am crazy. And perhaps I am. He hasn't given me any reason to show him any kind of sympathy, and yet I do.
"You were in love with her, right? I know how hard it is to lose someone". Now I'm the one making things uncomfortable, so I decide to tease him a little to lighten the mood "So who dated her first?"
His smile confirms my theory. "Ask Stefan. I am sure his answer differs from mine." He was in love with his brother's girlfriend. The question now is, did Katherine love him back or was she in loved with Stefan? Or was she just toying with them both? And even if it shouldn't matter –given that she is long gone- her memory obviously still causes him pain, maybe more than it does Stefan, and that makes me feel sorry for him.
We go back to our forgotten folding task.
"Why don't you quit cheerleading?" His question shocks me for a second. Is he a mind reader or something?
"Why would you say that?"
"If that sour face you had when Caroline was talking about it is anything to go by, I would guess that you hate it." Damon leans on the counter while he plays with a placemat. "And I saw your sister at practice today, if you are anything like her, you will also be miserable every second of it"
"I don't hate it…I'm just not sure if I still like. Which is not the same" I try to smile through my little statement, hopping that it will hide how insecure I feel about the subject.
"Yes you do, you are just afraid to say out loud" He jokingly scolds me as he points a finger in my direction.
"I just want things to be the way they were before... it used to be so much fun, cheerleading. But the things that used to make me happy just remind me of a person I can't be anymore" I can't believe I just told him that. He's practically a stranger. Perhaps I just needed to let it out, tell someone…anyone.
"So move on. Quit. Find something that you actually like and problem solved" I smile at his comment. He makes it sound so simple. Maybe it is.
"Hey, do you guys want any help?" I turn and see Elena and Bonnie entering the kitchen.
"Sure" I say as motion for them to join us. Perhaps tonight wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Maybe –and it's a huge maybe- Damon is not as bad as he seems to be.
First night back and of course I can't sleep; I toss and turn for at least two hours. So I get out of the bed and do what I always used to do when I was little and I couldn't fall asleep: I go to Elena's room.
As I walk into her bedroom I realize that she is also awake. Elena turns to face the door, it takes her eyes a few seconds to adjust but as soon as she recognizes me she motions to the empty space on the bed next to her.
"Couldn't sleep either Lena?" I ask as I lift the covers and climb into her bed. We both turn to face each other.
"Just had a weird dream… it's okay, I don't want to talk about it. You?" Elena makes sure to keep her voice quiet. It wouldn't be the first time that our midnight talks wake up at least one family member.
Noticing that she is not in the sharing dreams mood, I let it go. "I just kept thinking about how different this year will be"
"Yeah…I know." There is no need for her to say more.
The next hour we spend it talking about everything that I missed at school, about Jeremy and his woes. I also tell her my theory about the Damon, Katherine and Stefan love triangle. It feels nice to be able to be with my twin again. I am not even sure who fell asleep first, but it was the most peaceful sleep I had in weeks.
I walk into Elena's bathroom while she's still in the shower. "Hey Lena, may I use some of your body lotion? I ran out." She makes a sound that I take as a yes. After I'm done I turn to face Elena as she steps out of the shower wrapped in a towel. "So I kind of wanted to run something by you… well, more like letting you know something"
"Why aren't you wearing your uniform?" she says as she walks into her room and heads to her vanity.
"Yeah, its about that" now that got her attention. Finally. "I just got off the phone with Caroline to let her know that I quit, I'm quitter. I'm sorry sis, I know we said that this was something that we were going to do together all through high school but I can't do it anymore. It just doesn't feel right." Elena is just standing there, not saying anything. "Well? Say something!"
"I know how you feel" and just like that, the sad look comes back to her face. Now I feel terrible. "You are right. It isn't the same anymore, no matter how much I pretend that everything is back to normal, it's not."
That's my cue to walk towards my sister to give her a one-arm hug "Then lets be quitters together" I say with a small smile "what say you?" I consider it a victory when I see her grin and nod. "Good! Now is your turn to face the fury of Care bear, trust me she's not in a good mood after our little chat, I swear I've never heard her cuss so much…at me anyway"
I forgot how much fun high school could be. So far coming to the game had been a great idea; it gave me the chance to catch up with some friends. The only downside is that I had to hide from Caroline in the girl's bathroom for fifteen minutes, there is no way in hell I'm going to suffer the full extent of her rage. Mama raised no fool; I'm going to let Elena have that honor.
Speaking of Elena, I quickly spot her and Stefan near the football field. They look so good together, but still there is definitely something weird about the Salvatores.
"Hey guys" I take a closer look at Elena "what a beautiful necklace! Where did you get it? I've never seen it before."
Stefan and her share a secret smile before my Lena answers me "Stefan gave it to me as a present… speaking of jewelry, I didn't know you started wearing mom's old necklace?" I cringe at the accusation in her voice.
I look down at the pendant that I put on this morning. I've always liked it, mom used to wear it everyday when we were little and she would let me play with it whenever she held me in her arms. It's a simple piece, a round shape clear glass pendant with a dried pressed purple flower in the middle –I believe mom once told me it was called vervain- with a simple silver ring on the outer edge of the glass. I suppose dad gave it to her as a present when we were young or even before we were born.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you or asked if you minded" now I feel guilty. She must know this because it doesn't take Elena long to smile at me to ease my pain.
"Its fine Megan. It just caught me by surprise I haven't seen it in so long" Elena turns to face Stefan; the poor guy has stood there silently during our little sibling exchange.
"It suits you," he says with that calm voice of his and that good-natured smile. "What kind of flower is it?"
"Not sure" I try to control my facial expression so he doesn't realize how odd I think his inquire is. Since when boys care so much about flowers? "Right… I'm going to go look for Bonnie so you love birds may be free of my third wheel aura" I don't give them a chance to answer as I turn my back on them and start walking towards Bonnie and the rest of the squad.
The next hour was a little boring to say the least. That changed as soon as I see Jeremy running from a gathering crowd with a bloody lip. "Jeremy! What happened? What have you done?"
"What have I done? Typical of you and Elena to assume the worst of me! Why don't you just leave me the hell alone and stop pretending that you care about anyone but yourselves!" Well that shut me up fast. I can smell the alcohol in his breath. I don't have enough time to comprehend what he is talking about before he disappears into the parking lot.
I turn to where Jeremy had originally come from and immediately see Elena watching Stefan walk away from her in the opposite direction that our brother left.
"Lena what's going on? Did you see what happened to Jeremy? He had a fat lip, smelled like a liquor store and was shouting about how we are the worst sisters alive!" I try to not to yell as I walk towards her, but I'm pretty sure I am not succeeding.
"Jeremy and Tyler got into a fight! And Jer lashed out at Stefan with a broken bottle when he tried to stop them!"
"Oh my God! Is he okay? I saw him walking away just now, is he going to the infirmary or something? What was Jeremy thinking?"
"Megan, I saw the how the glass cut Stefan, his hand was covered in blood!" She seems to be in deep thought as she tells me this, trying to make sense of it all "but when I went to check how deep the cut was…there was nothing there."
"Nothing? What do you mean nothing?" she must see the disbelief on my face.
"I mean literally nothing! Barely any blood left and definitively no cut. As if nothing had happened or…he said the blood wasn't even his. Meg, you have to believe me I know what I saw."
"I believe you" Now she is the one with the disbelieving look on her face "I mean you would never lie to me just like I wouldn't lie to you." She smiles because she knows it's true. We may try to lie to others but never to each other. "And please don't take this the wrong way but Bonnie did say she got a weird vibe from Stefan… I know it sounds crazy but maybe she was right"
She considers this for a moment, and she obviously comes to an agreement because she stars walking towards the cheerleading squad with me tailing her. "We should talk to Bonnie, there's something going on here" the next part she whispers to herself unaware that I could still hear her "…I didn't –couldn't- have imagine it"
"Can we ask you a question and you give us a very serious no joke response?" Elena jumps straight to it as soon as we reach Bonnie.
"Yeah, sure"
"You remember that feeling you told me about, when you touched Stefan? What was it?"
"Uh…you should forget that, you little dinner party plot totally worked on me I swear" Bonnie tries to avoid the question.
Before Elena can lose it I step up to intervene "Bonnie it's okay, you can be honest. When you touched him, what did you feel? Did you maybe…see something?"
That seemed to do the trick, though she still looks a little reluctant to answer, "It wasn't clear like a picture or anything. But today I told Elena that keep seeing this numbers: eight, fourteen, twenty-two. When I touched Stefan that time, it was more like a feeling, something cold and…" she pauses for a moment "like death, that's exactly what I imagine death feels like"
I look at Elena assimilating what we just heard. "Thanks Bon, we'll see you after the game" I give her a small smile. "Elena why don't we go find seats before the kick off?"
"You go ahead, I need to take my stuff to the car first so I don't have to keep caring them around" She sounds so distracted.
"You know I also wanted to get my sweater from the car, why don't you just give me your things and I'll take them. Go find us those seats." She doesn't fight me to hard on this even though she knows that I'm doing it so she can rest a little before the game starts.
When I finally find our car in the parking lot, it takes me a few seconds to put Elena's belongings in the trunk. But just as I turn to go back to my sister I feel my heart skip a bit. "Why do you keep doing that Damon? It's not okay to stand behind people like that"
"Sorry" yeah right, that self-satisfied smile of his tells a different story.
"Right. What are you doing here?"
He leans in like he's telling me a big secret and speaks in a hush voice "I'm hiding from Caroline"
That gets me to raise an eyebrow for sure. What is wrong with the guy?
"Why would you that?" I whisper back to him.
"To tell you the truth I needed a break. She can talk more that I can listen"
"Part of being a good boyfriend is listening to your girlfriend ramble every now and then. If you are not willing to do that maybe you should take that as a sign" I'm getting a little annoyed. Why would he tell me this?
"Yeah maybe, she is just awfully young"
"Well you are not exactly nearing your midlife crisis"
"Yeah" he half smiles "Actually you may be right, I don't see it going anywhere in the bigger picture. She would drive me mad"
The nerve of this man! "Listen Damon, Caroline may be a little intense sometimes but let me make this clear for you, she is one of my best friends. So if you have more complains I recommend you take them elsewhere"
"Duly noted. I'm sorry if made you uncomfortable. That wasn't my intention" he tries his innocent act again.
"Yes it is, why else would you put an alternative meaning to everything you say" I sidestep him but before I can make my grand escape he gets in my way.
"Fine, you're right. I do have other intentions…but so do you"
"Really?" I only smile out of disbelief.
"Yep, I see them" he says matter-of-factly. "You want me"
"What?" Crazy much?
"I get to you, you can't help feeling attracted to me. You think of me constantly even when you try not to." He doesn't hesitate, not once does he seems to realize how nuts he sounds. Is he for real? "And right now you're going to kiss me" That does it.
I don't even have to think about it, I form a fist and before I know it I aimed straight for his nose. I don't hit him hard enough to break it, not even hard enough to make him bleed, but just sufficiently to make my point clear.
"What the hell is wrong with you? Didn't I speak slow or clear enough for you when I said that Caroline is my best friend?" His astonishment only makes me seethe even more. "You obviously don't understand the meaning of loyalty, if the spat you and your brother have is anything to go by. So listen carefully, I don't care whatever game you're playing with Stefan, but keep me and -above all- my sister out of it. We are nothing like your mutual ex-girlfriend."
This time I move faster and run for the bleachers before he can stop me again. Now I regret not hitting him harder. And to think for a moment I thought he couldn't be all that bad. I feel so stupid, I should have listen to my instinct and just… just what?
Soon I find Elena next to the stands. "You're not going to believe what just happened". I tell her everything, and like the good twin she is, she shows the same outrage that I did. But before we can keep talking about Damon the creep, we hear the police and ambulance sirens…
That night it took my hours to fall asleep. I couldn't shake off the shock of what happened to Mr. Tanner, nor could I stop worrying about Jeremy. And not for the first time I wished my mom were here with us…with me.
As I fell into a light sleep I could've sworn I felt a soft caress on my cheek that pulled me deeper into the dream world.