I find myself on the beach once more, footsteps once again cascading, just as everything had been one year ago. The ocean breeze began to blow softly, as the never slowing waves pounded the grains of sand, washing the imperfections away.

Vulnerability. Simply thirteen letters. Thirteen letters that can put someone. anyone, everyone in the worst state ever. To be vulnerable is to lose everything in the blink of an eye, no warning, all regrets.

I fear that I may be watched, yet I know that I'm alone. I'm sure of it, but there's the aura in the air, telling me I'm not alone. Even though no one can hear my thoughts, I feel like I'm mental at the moment, or maybe just paranoid. Please, oh please be the latter.

I brace myself as I turn around and stare into a pair of sparkling emerald green eyes. Why is it that every time I think everything is fine, to let my emotions go loose, to let myself relax one of them enters my fantasies? By them, I mean men. Boys. People of the male species.

"Andrew." I spat. Andrew Perez, Matthew Bolton's best friend. His chestnut hair, the exact same color as Matthew's, I really must get him out of my mind.

"No greeting for me?" questions, shocker here, Matthew Bolton.

"MATTHEW PAUL BOLTON and ANDREW JOHNSON PEREZ, what the fuck are you doing here?" I stick my tongue out, immature, I know, but that's all I can do at the moment, or rather all I want to do at the moment.

"You know I want you back in my life Brie." Matthew explained.

"Then why did you walk out on me? You made your choice Matthew, and I made mine. I don't want you to burden my life anymore more. Given the option, I would turn back the clock and wish to have never met you!" I faced him, he deserved this, every guy who hurt deserved this. I'm not his anymore, we aren't together. We haven't been, for a very long time.

"Come on Gabriella, Matthew really wants you back in his life." Andrew pleaded.

"Then why the hell does it matter now? One year after the break-up. It isn't a time to mend old wounds, it's the time to create bigger, larger ones that will scar a soul." I said bitterly.

"Then why be a man-hater?" I froze. How did he know I was a man-hater? It hasn't even been a day since he entered my life once more, flipping it around all over again. Why did he have this effect on me?

"Because, that's what's right." I said firmly, no signs of vulnerability showing.

"So that's it?" he questioned.

"That's it? That's IT? No Matthew, that's not it. It's more than that. More than you heart, mind, soul would ever understand. It isn't worth wasting a breath on someone who wouldn't listen." I glared at him one last time before stomping down the beach.

Grains of sand were blowing towards my face, into my eyes, and the sound of rushing footsteps was behind me, they don't t know when to give up. The ocean blue waves seemed so tempting, so salty, so inviting.

I did the only thing I could think of with the two boys behind me, sprinting much faster than I ever could. I took a deep breath of air and leaped into the waves.

Backfired. What a terrible word, a terrible time for my plan to have backfired. I didn't count on a single wave, to hit me and push me down into the depths of the water.

I'm a decent swimmer, but to pulled so far in the current was really taking a toll on my body. Plus, I'm still wearing the same clothes from today, so it's harder still to move.

Against my better judgments, I began to scream for help as I inhaled more water. "HELP! HELP! HELP!"

There was no response. The guys had probably run ahead as I felt myself drifting lower and lower towards the base of the waves. Rock bottom. I can't breathe anymore.

My air supply was running lower, I was fighting just to stay conscious, I didn't want to die without remembering my last memories!

Everything went black.

I felt something shaking my body and my eyes desperately tried to snap open to see what was touching me.

"She's not responding." A very calm, familiar voice said.

Was it Taylor, Sharpay, no, the voice was too low.

That means...
That means that...
That means that whoever...
That means that whoever is...
That means that whoever is touching...
That means that whoever is touching me...
That means that whoever is touching me is...
That means that whoever is touching me is a...
That means that whoever is touching me is a MAN!

As the sun glistens down on us, the day is perfect. The cool breeze, the splashing waves, the sense of protection from my mom.

Troy splashes me with some of the beach water and I splash back. It becomes an all out war, as Matthew joins in, on my side of course.

"Ella, no fair, that's cheating!" a ten-year old Troy exclaims.

"No it isn't Troy, I picked Brie's team!" an eleven-year old Matthew says.

Both boys had their own nicknames for me, everyone else, well they just called me Gabriella or Gabi.

"Right, he picked my team!" I said. I was only nine at the time.

Troy splashed along side a big wave and it hit me dead on. I was instantly pulled further away from shore and towards the ocean's depths. Before I could fall short of breath, I felt two hands grab me and pull me to safety.

Matthew.

He promised to always protect me.

I opened my eyes to see his crystal blue ones. I tried to keep my eyes in an icy glare and apparently it was working.

"What happened?" I managed to muster.

"You passed out when you were in the water." Matthew replied simply.

I got up from the sand and slapped him.

"What the heck Gabriella?"

"You shouldn't have been touching me." I smirked as my breathing started to become regular again.

"You should be thanking me, I saved your life." he countered.

"I probably would have washed ashore eventually. It wasn't my choice to have you save me." I chuckle. I wasn't enjoying this moment at all.

"When we were younger, I promised to always protect you, so you're stuck with me being your knight in shining armor."

"Or idiot in aluminum."

He didn't respond.

"Where's Andrew?" I ask changing the subject. This is probably the most civil that I acted towards him in a long time, I owe him that, you know for "saving" me and all.

"Went the other direction to look for you. I was really worried when you disappeared Gabriella, you aren't someone I won't to lose in my life."

I scoff. "I'm not in your life Matthew. Remember, you left me. So, I pulled you completely out of my life, I don't want anything to do with you. In the end, it'll just hurt me."

"I promise I won't hurt you Gabriella. You know me, I keep my promises." Matthew was really trying my patience.

"Then promise me one thing and one thing only." I said, keeping my voice low.

I stood up, preparing to say what needed to be said.

"I promise to promise whatever you are asking me to promise." he says with a goofy grin.

"Promise me you will stay out of my life. Walk out like you did before, I'm fine without you! I'm fine without any guys in my life. This is the way it has to be Matthew because in the end, I'm not the one who is going to get hurt." I say it with an even breath, calmer and truer than I have ever spoken to him.

Like I did so many times before, I walked away from him, no turning back. I trust that he follows his own promises.

I'm trapped. I can't break the promise because she'll never believe any other promises I say again. But I can't do the promise either, I still need her in my life.

Great, just great. Only she can put me in a position that'll make me choose where I want to end up.

"WHY?" I scream to the heavens above.

"Why is it so wrong to want someone in your life so badly that you'd do anything for them?"

I look in the direction that she walked away, away when she held me accountable for my promise to promise her. Apparently, she hadn't heard me, but even if she did, nothing would stop her from walking along the delicate beach sand and into the horizon.

At the time when I said I'd never stop loving her, I was wrong. I wouldn't always love her, love is but one powerful emotion, I'd miss, need, and love her, not just a single thing alone. But I guess she doesn't feel any of those emotions towards me.

"Hey bro, why the long face?" I looked up and into my very same eyes, only on my younger brother.

"The usual, she doesn't want me in her life again." I sighed. My break is only a week and I only have five more days to try to get her into my life again. It feels so weird without her, I can't keep creating wounds though.

"Tough Kuya. Oh wow, I remember when Ella told me to call you kuya before and I had no idea why." Troy laughed and I couldn't help but chuckle at the memory.

"Hey Kuya Matthew, Kuya Troy." seven-year old Gabriella laughed.

I was confused, but went along with it. "Hi Kuya Brie."

Troy followed my lead. "Yeah, hey Kaya Ella." She looked at us like we were crazy and Troy pronounced it wrong.

"Why are you guys calling me Kuya? It's Tagalog for older brother!" she giggled in mock anger.

We didn't respond to her, but it seemed she didn't care.

"Kaya." Troy repeated in a teasing matter.

"Kuya." I corrected.

"Keya." Troy attempted again.

"Kuya."

"Kiya."

"KUYA!"

"Kuya." he repeated, finally pronouncing it.

"I remember that. It was so long ago, but it's one of the best memories with her."

"But it's so hard nowadays, you know, with her being a man-hater and all? It's become hard for the group to hang out because she always leaves once she knows the guys are going to be there. She was devastated after the break-up, but she hid that emotion with hate for all males. At least that's what the girls said." Troy explained.

I groaned. "It's all my fault, isn't it?"

"No Matthew, I didn't mean it like that!" he defended. But I knew it was my fault, even if he wouldn't admit it.

"Troy, she made me promise to walk out of her life. And I promised I would." I felt everything I was feeling about losing my best friend, in that sentence.

"So win her back to your life." Troy stated.

"Because once in your life, whatever they are to the world, they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, travel the depths of their souls and say a million things without trace of sound, you know that your own life is inevitably consumed within the rhythmic beats of her very heart. We love them for a million reasons, no paper does it justice. It is a thing of not the mind but the heart."

"So in other words you still love her?" Troy questioned.

"Of course. But I'll let her go, just as long as she's happy. Maybe if I'm lucky, she'll enter my life once more." I stated.

"I'll help you." he offered.

"Promise?"

"Promise."

Cause it's hard for me to tell you I love you
As I'm standing over your grave
And I know I'll never hear your voice again
Why did you leave me
Why couldn't you just stay babe
Because my world is nothin', without you
Now I don't know what to do, with myself