Eremika Day 3: Memories/Longing

In the aftermath of battle, both Eren and Mikasa cannot sleep when their minds are filled with nightmares. They crave something, but what?

Set Post-Ch.50 (or Season 2 finale for the anime). Enjoy :)

Mikasa's mind is at war with itself. Within the dark of the night she tosses and turns, becoming entangled in bed sheets as nightmares flood her mind. Quiet droplets of rain trickle down the window outside while she thrashes around.

Eren has been taken again, but this time, she cannot reach him. It is a nightmare that often plagues her mind as well as a daily thought that consumes her. Within her dream she frantically calls his name, but there is no response. She does not know where to look this time. She has no leads or clues. He is missing.

She cries out his name once more and awakens suddenly from her nightmare. She immediately sits up on her bed and looks around the darkness of the room. Beads of sweat pour from her body, and she glances down at the mess she's made of her sheets.

When she reaches up towards her face, she finds tears. She slowly wipes them away and turns around to witness the gentle rain pattering the window. Mikasa takes a few deep breaths in an attempt to calm herself, then slowly sinks back down into her bed.

Even when she rests her head on the pillow, she knows she can't sleep. She knows Eren is safe and here, but she is still troubled. She longs to see him, to make sure he's safe and that it was really all a dream.

Mikasa rolls onto her side and glances at the wall, continuing to listen to the rain. She clutches her bed sheets tightly to her body, and remembers that sometimes she'd sleep in Eren's bed when they were younger and she was adjusting to her new life with his family. They have never shared a bed since then, but tonight, she craves to be with him more than ever, in hopes that it will cure her continuous nightmares.

But what will he think? He won't want me there, will he?

She rolls over and gazes at the ceiling, knowing that sleep will not be coming any time soon. The others are calmly sleeping, which Mikasa envies almost. She sits up again. She decides to just check on Eren, to make sure he's in his bed. Then she'll go back to sleep.

She lightly touches her feet to the cold wooden floor and quietly leaves the room, making her way down the hallway.

…

Eren sees Mikasa's ribs being crushed over and over again. He hears her painful cry echo in his ears. He, too, tosses in his sleep. His mind has been plagued with nightmares before, but never of her.

Eren lets out a gasp as he awakes, but as soon as his eyes settle on the ceiling, he knows it was just a dream, that Mikasa is all right, and they're not battling titans right now. Still, an uneasiness sets over him that he hasn't felt before.

Something changed that day they almost died. His concern for Mikasa's well-being has grown, and nightmares of his mother's death have been replaced by her.

"Eren, are you all right?" comes a quiet whisper from across the room.

Eren turns and spots Armin, awake in his bed. Eren nods his head, but he still feels uneasy. He knows Mikasa is asleep in her bed, that's where she always is, but a growing concern spreads over him.

"I'm going to get some water," Eren decides. That will clear his head for now. Then he can rest again. He wraps a blanket around his shoulders and exits the room. When he's had a drink of water and feels refreshed, he guesses it's time to return.

Still, his eyes look toward the hallway where Mikasa sleeps, and he wonders if he should check in on her, just to be safe. His feet slowly move down the hallway until he notices a figure moving toward him in the distance.

He approaches cautiously, then pauses as he realizes it's Mikasa. Her eyes lock onto his, and both pause for a moment, surprised.

"I was just-"

"-Coming to look for you," they both cry out.

A silence settles between them.

"Couldn't sleep?" Mikasa asks quietly, avoiding eye contact with him.

"No. You either?" Eren questions.

Mikasa nods.

"Nightmares aren't fun, are they?"

Mikasa shakes her head. "No, I suppose not."

Eren lingers in the silence. He can still hear the sound of raindrops lightly coming down on the roof. Mikasa glances around and wraps her arms around her.

"Hey, aren't you cold?" Eren asks.

"Yes, but—"

Eren reaches for his blanket and wraps it around her. Mikasa clutches on and holds the blanket close to her.

"Thank you," she murmurs. There's a pause again, and she glances at him. "I-I guess I should head back." She begins to turn around when Eren speaks out.

"Hey, wait," he says. He doesn't know what compels him to do it, but for some reason, he longs for her presence right now.

Mikasa turns around again, waiting for him to speak.

"Um…" Eren rustles his hand through his hair. "Do you want to stay with me, like…like when we were kids? Maybe the nightmares will stop then. I just thought…" His voice trails off.

"Won't it disturb the others?" Mikasa questions.

"Armin won't mind," Eren promises.

"Okay, then," she agrees.

…

Mikasa follows Eren down the hallway, her heart pounding. She did not expect to run into him, nor did she expect to stay near him tonight, even though it was what she was desiring.

She hugs the blanket tighter around her and follows his lead. She wonders why he was up too. She wonders if he was looking for her. A silly idea, but…why else did he want her near him?

Eren quietly opens the door and peers through.

"Everyone's asleep. Come on," he says, motioning her forward. Mikasa quietly follows behind and stops at his bed. She places the blanket down on his bed again and watches as he crawls in and lays down. Mikasa still stands there, unsure.

"Come on," Eren whispers. "I'm not going to bite."

Mikasa obeys and slowly crawls into his small bed. It is still warm, and slowly, she begins to relax. He reaches over her and folds the blankets over her shoulder.

"Thanks," she mutters.

There is not much room for them to spread out, and so for a moment, each of them lay there in silence, attempting not to touch the other. Mikasa longs to move closer to him, but she knows Eren likes his space and…

"Hey, Mikasa, is it okay if I…" He scoots a bit closer to her so that their legs touch and rolls onto his side to face her.

"Yes," she replies quietly. His hand drapes over her shoulder as she moves closer to him. She rests her head against his chest and feels the soft beating of his heart. Finally, she is at peace and closes her eyes.

"Good night," Eren mutters.

"Good night," she replies.

…

Eren listens as Mikasa's breath softens, and her chest moves up and down against his. He lays there, feeling her warm body against his, and feels comforted.

When he awoke from nightmares tonight, he knew he wanted to see her, but he did not realize he longed for this, to feel her breathing beside him. He glances down at her peaceful face, feeling for the first time like he is protecting her. She looks so fragile beside him that he wonders if she has nightmares like this every night.

Slowly, Eren's eyes become droopy. He leans his head closer to hers, feeling her hair tickle his face. His eyes close, and their breaths inhale and exhale together as the night fades away.

…

When Mikasa awakes the next morning, Eren is gone. She reaches out for the warm body beside her, but all she finds is cold sheets. Her heart sinks slightly, but she feels more refreshed than normal.

The entire room is empty, and she quickly slips out to prepare for the day. When she finally does see Eren at breakfast, he greets her like he normally does, and they carry on with their day as if nothing happened.

Eren's refusal to acknowledge last night at all makes Mikasa think if it was just a dream, but it couldn't be. Even if she didn't wake up beside him, he was there nonetheless.

Eren is kinder to her than normal today, but that is the only real acknowledgement they share. And Mikasa is okay with it. She continues with her day, and Eren continues with his, and that night, they sleep in their own separate beds.

But even then, when Mikasa falls asleep, she reaches her hand forward into nothingness, wishing he were there.

And when Eren falls asleep, he reaches his hand out for her, but knows she is asleep in her own bed.

As the night passes, they both sleep, but in the midst of their dreams, each longs for the other more than normal, and when they awake to empty beds, the longing, though subdued, still remains. But for now, they must carry on with their day.