Sakura sighed in annoyance as she failed for the fifth time in two minutes to get Sasuke's attention. From the moment he arrived to pick her up for their date, she sensed that he was distracted. Oh, he had done everything he normally did and pretended to pay attention as she talked about the wedding. Underneath it all, however, he was drifting farther away, pulling into his own little world. And now, he wasn't even answering her. Well that is enough! He was going to tell her what was on his mind! No more shoving her away emotionally-that was the promise he had made to her, and she would make sure that he damn well fulfilled it! Under the table, she gave him a swift kick to the shin.
"What the hell was that for?" he growled as he grabbed his shin. Luckily, she hadn't used even close to her full strength, or he would have a broken bone.
"Oh, I just wanted to get your attention. Since you are ignoring me!" she said angrily. He looked up and saw that she was leaning back in her chair with her arms crossed over her chest. The expression on her face was one of anger, but there was fear and worry in her eyes. His chest tightened as he realized that she was afraid that he was distancing himself from her. She still doesn't trust what I feel for her. Damn, I thought that we had gotten past this point, but apparently not. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He was going to have to tell her what was going on. He would need her help to get answers out of the Hokage anyway. His decision made, he looked up at her and smiled ruefully.
"I am sorry, I just had the past shoved in my face by someone tonight, and everything I learned is just leading me to more questions. I apologize for making you feel neglected." He reached across the table and stroked her cheek softly. She huffed, but reluctantly dropped her arms and smiled back at him.
"Will you tell me what's bothering you? Maybe I can help." she said softly as she reached out to hold his hand. The fear was gone from her eyes, but she frowned slightly as she worried about what he was going to tell her. She knew that it still took a conscious effort on his part to share his thoughts and emotions with her. All those years of shoving everyone away and keeping everything bottled up inside had become second nature to him. Even now, he tended to confide only to her and Naruto.
"Do you mind if we leave here? I don't want anyone to overhear what I am about to tell you." he asked quietly. She nodded, and he flagged the waiter down. After paying for the meal, they left and headed back to their apartment. Despite her great desire to know what was bothering him, she could not help the happiness that rose up in her as they walked across town. She relished every glare, every whisper behind hands, because it was her proof that their relationship was real. So often in the past, she had dreamed of nights like this. A fine meal at a nice restaurant, a walk in the moonlight holding hands, Sasuke actually volunteering to let her into his thoughts. Sometimes, it just seemed so unreal to her that they were actually together, but seeing the reactions of everyone in the village helped her to realize that it was real. Sasuke was finally hers. So take that fan girls-cha! Roared inner Sakura. She smiled brightly and leaned her head against his shoulder. Sasuke smiled down at her and pulled her closer, leaving his arm around her shoulders.
They arrived at their apartment and sat down on the couch. She waited for him to start, knowing that he was gathering his thoughts carefully. Sasuke never spoke unless he was clear about what he wanted to say. Never wasted his words foolishly.
"First, I need to make this clear- what I am telling you must stay strictly between the two of us. Hinata came to me tonight and told me that she believes Itachi is going to kill himself." Sakura gasped, and her mouth dropped open in shock.
"Sasuke, Lady Tsunade herself said that he is in a deep coma. How can he possibly be able to commit suicide? Hinata must be wrong." she said firmly.
"The Byagukan of Hyuuga clan is a lie detector of sorts. Itachi is cunning enough to be able to fake the signs of a coma. She takes care of him everyday, and I believe that she is in the position to know his condition better than anyone else." he replied.
"Look Sasuke, Hinata is good and all, but we are taking about one of the legendary sannin here. How could Hinata-"
"Sakura, I know that you worship Lady Tsunade, but I am telling you, the Byagukan sees things no one else can." he interrupted her. He knew that she would have a hard time accepting that her mentor had missed something this big. It wasn't that he didn't respect the woman, but Itachi was a legend in his own right, and highly skilled. The degree of control he had over his body would make it child's play for him to simulate his biorhythms into those of a coma patient.
"I believe her, Sakura. That is not all. She confronted me for being selfish and not considering Itachi's side of what happened. She basically came right out and said that he did the best he could to honor the clan and save me by accepting the mission. I almost killed her." he stated baldly, hanging his head down. Sakura starred at him in amazement. The thought that Hinata would be bold enough to say such hurtful things to another person, let alone imply that the Uchiha massacre was acceptable, was mind boggling to her. The fact that Sasuke admitted to wanting to kill the young woman scared her. She knew that he had come back from the edge of insanity, but he would never be a person of light. The balance between what he knew was right and what he knew he was capable of was a constant struggle for him. She was glad that he had refrained from hurting the girl, in the past, if someone had said something like that to him, he would have swiftly and brutally killed them.
"But you didn't." she said softly, and gently hugged him. He leaned his head onto her shoulder and let her comfort him. After a few minutes, he pulled back and looked into her beautiful green eyes.
"I promised you that I would never leave you again. Killing a fellow shin obi would have gotten me thrown in jail, and made me break my promise. I never want to be separated from you again." he vowed intensely as he continued to stare into her eyes.
"Oh Sasuke!" she cried out as she threw herself into his arms sobbing. He held her tightly, and silently willed her to believe this time. Since his return to the village he had done everything he could to prove to her that he loved her and was never leaving her again. But it was always a fight against his previous actions and words to her. She had forgiven him eventually, but the years of neglect and cruelty could not be swept away from her memory so easily. It was always there in the back of her mind, and she was constantly on the look out for any signs that he was going to return to his former self. Suddenly, she pulled out of his arms and jumped to her feet.
"I am going to have a little talk with Hinata. She had no right to say those things to you! How dare she imply that you are being selfish!" She wiped the tears off her face and headed to the door with a look of angry determination on her face. Sasuke leaped up and grabbed her from behind.
"Sakura stop! She was right." he said quickly as she struggled to be released.
"WHAT!" she screamed in astonishment.
"After she left, I went into the forest and spent several hours thinking about everything I learned up to that point about what happened. Madara told me that the Uchiha clan was wiped out because they were planning to take control of the village. He also told me that Itachi made a deal with the Hokage for my protection, the conditions of which forced him to be the one that killed the clan and flee the village to join the Atkatski as a spy. Hinata told me that she had reviewed the autopsy reports and that almost every death was instantaneous. I put myself up a genjitsu so that I could examine every detail of that night. I examined the bodies, and I watched Itachi's face instead of listening to his words. Sakura, he was crying as he left that night." he said hoarsely.
Sakura stopped fighting him, and turned to embrace him instead. She held him as he shuddered, and his body was racked with harsh sobs. She was incredibly saddened by the knowledge that there would never be peace for him. He forced himself forward and reached for a happy future, but he would never be free of his horrendous past. Tears fell from her eyes as she vowed to do everything in her power to help him. They stayed like that for a long time, just holding each other for comfort. Slowly, Sasuke brought himself under control.
"Sakura, I don't know if I can ever forgive him, but I need to know the full truth of what happened. I need access to the Third Hokage's journal, the classified ANBU missions log, and the autopsy reports from that night. If I confirm that what Madara and Hinata said was true, there is a good chance that my brother did sacrifice himself for me. And I don't know what I will do if it is true. All theses years, I nurtured my hatred of him, and it could be that he was protecting me this whole time…" he said wretchedly.
"We will find out the truth, Sasuke. But we need Naruto's help. Let's go."