Chapter 3

Sand in My Naughty Bits

BPOV

I felt like I should've been angry. Like I should've screamed at him and stormed off. But since we were still nearly half a mile out in the water, I probably would have drowned before reaching shore. In fact, I was already fatigued from treading water for the last two minutes, and Edward noticed. He pulled me to him and secured his hands firmly around my waist, as if he was afraid I'd fight him. I floated weightlessly in his arms, searching his face, and I couldn't find the will to be mad.

I looked deep into his eyes. "Edward, no."

He huffed in frustration and offered a strained yet soft smile. His defeated expression told me he'd expected my response.

Edward's hold softened a bit, and I used the opportunity to pull him into a hug. "I know what I want," I whispered desperately. "I want—no, I need—to be with you forever. I belongwith your family in a way I've never belonged anywhere else before." I pulled back, searching his golden eyes for understanding. "I'm as sure that I'm supposed to be one of you as I'm sure that you, Edward Cullen, are the most amazing man that's ever existed. And I'm absolutely certain of that."

His eyes softened. "Bella, your love means everything to me. I share your need to never be apart." His fingertips brushed my throat, and I shivered. "But I need to know that you will have every human experience. Every single person in my family would have loved the opportunity for more of a chance to be mortal. I am not denying that you belong with us … with me. I already know that to my core. However, the fact that you're now human doesn't decrease how much I love you."

His hand slid south, tracing my collarbone. "We're talking about eternity. In the grand scheme of things, what's six more years?" He continued, "I struggle daily with the knowledge that I've agreed to end your life. When I turn you, I will not just be stopping your heart. I'll be taking away your possibility for children or grandchildren or … growing old." He looked down mournfully.

"But, Edward, why would I want to grow old when youare young?" I argued.

He spoke with feeling. "I know that aging is just an unstoppable burden to most people. But I have always wondered about the matured man I would have become. Even though Carlisle had no choice but to change me, sometimes I still wonder …."

A tear spilled from the corner of my eye as I imagined the life he could have had. "Oh, Edward."

He caught my teardrop with his thumb and smiled sadly, saying, "Bella, I've already reconciled to myself that you will not grow old. A large part of me knows that it would be too risky to wait very long. Also, I understand why you don't want to be much older than me when you're turned."

I cringed at the image of being the only elderly vampire in the Cullen clan. Ugh. People would probably think I was Edward's grandmother. Double ugh!

"Just give me six years," he urged. "You will still be young and beautiful, but you will be able to experience more of this life." He swept my damp hair behind my ear. "I wish I had had more time as a human."

I had never considered that he grieved his lost life. I knew that he struggled with being who he was—that he thought he was a monster whose soul was destined for damnation. Of course, my sweet Edward would ponder what could have been if the Spanish influenza hadn't attacked. I instantly mourned for the human life he'd lost and the pain it would cause him to end another human life. Especially since that life would belong to his wife, his ... soul mate.

He captured my face in his palms and looked at me with fierce eyes. "Don't mistake me, Bella. This is all I want now. Youare my everything." He kissed me carefully. "Whenever I think of the impossible illusion of me being human again, it always includes you. Whether I'd been born in this time or you in mine, we are always together in my silly little fantasies."

More tears fell on my cheeks, and I couldn't help but feel loved as he eagerly kissed them all away.

"That's not silly at all, Edward." I caught his moving lips with my own. "I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. You're a vampire because we are supposed to be together. The universe saved you … Carlisle saved you because you were meant for me. I'm so thankful that you are exactly this age, at exactly this time. Otherwise, we may have never met."

I pulled him to me so tight my arms ached. Imagining life without Edward was unbearable. "I need you … forever! I don't want to grow old or have children without you. Everything is meaningless without you, Edward. You can't think of it as ending my life," I begged. "You are givingme my true life!" I somehow gripped him impossibly tighter.

He gently and easily unhinged my vice grip and laughed. "Careful, love. You're going to bruise your lovely arms."

"Thank you, Edward." I smiled.

"You know me, Bella." He grinned. "Your comfort is always my number one priority." He held me at a safe distance, keeping me from latching onto him again.

"That's not what I'm thanking you for." I laughed.

He looked at me in confusion for a moment, then tilted his head to the side and smirked. "Are you thanking me for how well and thoroughly I plan to make love to you?"

I gasped and jumped backward, forgetting I was surrounded by ocean. I slipped under the water and splashed back to the surface, but not before accidentally gulping down a mouthful of saltwater. I coughed and struggled for air. Real smooth, Swan.

At first, Edward panicked and lifted me high out of the water, gently tapping my back. However, once I started laughing hysterically, he knew I wasn't drowning.

He pulled me into his arms. "Ugh, Bella! I can say it will certainly be nice when you don't almost get yourself killed every day!" He huffed in frustration.

"Edward." I breathed. "I would do almostanything to have you make love to me. But I'm not sure this is one of those things." I looked down at the clear water surrounding us, admiring his beautiful sparkle beneath the current. "Can I have some time to think it over?"

"Of course, my love." He held me gently and looked deep into my eyes. "Although, I must admit, I am desperately hoping for a reason to make love to you right away." He titled my chin up with his knuckle and kissed me deeply.

My heart thundered. "You would really make love to me before the wedding?" I asked, still surprised.

If vampires could blush, he would have. "Well, if I can convince you to stay human longer … yes."

"But I thought you wanted to protect my virtue or whatever." I was confused.

He laughed but shook his head at my obvious lack of concern for my virtue. "I assumed you would decline my offer, Bella. However, if you'd been willing to hold off on changing, I knew I'd have to offer something good."

I was slightly annoyed at that. "Oh, so you were using sex as a bargaining chip?"

That's not the Edward I know.

"Believe me, Bella, when I say that I want you as much as you want me." He emphasized his point by hitching my leg up around his hip. "A part of me, probably the predator in me, wants to take you every chance I get. I was willing to let that part of me succeed if you agreed to my amendment."

He wrapped my other leg around him and kept me only inches from what I wanted. "I'm sorry to say, Bella, that I would have sacrificed your virtue for your soul." His lips found mine eagerly, and then he pulled back just enough to whisper, "But if you are determined to give your soul for me, I will maintain your virtue until then."

I was just about to grasp his crotch and tell him to fuck my soul and my virtue when he pulled away and looked to the shore.

"Oh, God. We'd better head back to the beach." He rolled his eyes.

I sighed and reluctantly turned away, trying to see what he was looking at. Of course, I couldn't see anything and assumed he'd heard his family. "Is everything okay?" I groaned.

"Yes. Emmett is just trying to convince the others that we've been gone so long because we're making love," he stated with frustration.

I couldn't help but laugh. "Emmett said making love?"

"Well, no." Edward smirked. "His exact words were, 'I bet Edward took Bella to one of the islands and popped her cherry.'" He winked, and a dark blush slapped my face.

"Umm ..." I gulped.

He let out one quick laugh and then swam us toward the shore so quickly I could barely register my excitement before we reached the others.

"Whoa!" Emmett yelled and jumped back. "If you two have any virgin blood on you, make sure it's all rinsed off before you get out of the water. We don't want our boy, Jasper, losing his shit again." He smirked arrogantly, and I braced for Edward's inevitable attack on him.

To my great surprise, Edward only uttered one low growl before simply saying, "Ignore the imbecile."

"Emmett, that's quite enough," Carlisle chided from the beach.

At the same time, I heard Alice say, "I'd be careful, Emmett. This is wolf territory. If Edward decides to sic a certain lovesick shape-shifter on you in the name of Bella's honor ..." She let her sentence trail off but raised her eyebrows knowingly. I couldn't help but laugh.

Everyone joined in the laughter when Emmett angrily shouted, "Why Alice, what did you see? Oh, please, that mutt wouldn't stand a chance against me! Alice, tell everyone that I'd kick his ass! Alice?"

I looked over at Edward, and he was trying to shield me. Emmett picked me up, straight over his head.

"Ahhh!" I screamed. "Emmett, put me down, you big ape!" I unsuccessfully struggled in his massive grip.

Everyone but Edward and Rosalie were laughing. Even Carlisle and Esme were amused by my fruitless attempts to get down.

He set me down in the smooth sand right at the shoreline and plopped a big glob of wet dirt on my head.

"You're a dead man, Cullen!" I gasped and everyone, including Edward, roared this time.

"Oh, that's right, you're all dead." I huffed. "But seriously, Emmett, once I'm turned, you will be begging me for mercy."

I noticed Edward pick something off of the beach and appear behind Emmett. He tapped him on the shoulder, and as Emmett turned, he got a face full of fish guts.

"Oh, you sick bastard!" Emmett frantically wiped at his mouth. "You know how disgusting cold-blooded animals are!" Every single one of us was laughing now.

"I'm fine." I giggled as Edward helped me up. He brushed the sand off of my head, laughing softly before helping me into the water to rinse off.

Pretty soon, we were on our way back to Forks. I felt invigorated by my day at the beach with the Cullens. It felt so good to laugh and truly feel as if I belonged.

It was even more enjoyable because of the conversation I had with Edward. Although, our discussion had started out with me feeling uncertain, it ended with me feeling as though we appreciated each other better than ever. I completely understood his fears about turning me. I had a lot to think about. I would have to decide if waiting longer was a possibility for me. The negotiations he had in mind were definitely tempting.

As we entered the Cullen house, Edward excused himself, and Alice pulled me to the sofa.

"Bella, you should just thank me now and dismiss your natural urge to get irrationally moody and nervous." She smiled mischievously.

"Alice, what did you do?" I buried my head in my knees.

"Oh, Bella, it's nothing bad." She laughed. "I merely suggested to Charlie that the wedding would be a complete disaster if we didn't wrap up all major plans this weekend."

I gaped at her. "Oh, is that all?"

She flashed a sweet, pixie grin. "I insisted that you spend every second of the next few days at my house to finalize the most important day of your life."

An entire weekend with Alice pushing me to pick flowers, dresses, invitations and countless other boring nonsense? ARGH!

She sensed my overwhelming dread and rolled her eyes. "Geez, Bella. I'll make most of the decisions. Besides, we have a few weeks left. Charlie doesn't understand the fundamentals of wedding planning. Just give me a few hours and you belong to Edward the rest of the weekend." She accentuated her meaning with a knowing wink.

Oh.

Belonging to Edward certainly sounded nice. How could I be mad about that?

I was silent, but my ruddy cheeks and dazed expression must have tipped her off to my curiosity.

She bounced up and said, "Yes, Edward knows about it. You're welcome." Then she cheerily skipped away.

Just then, Edward descended the stairs and enveloped me in his loving arms. My thoughts were only about him, belongingto him. Gulp.

"Come with me, my love." He led us toward his room and escorted me into his bathroom. The tub was full of steamy water and suds.

"I drew you a bubble bath and laid out fresh clothes for you," he whispered as he kissed my temple.

I looked at him in question. I wanted to stay by his side.

"I'll just be in my room, Bella." He smiled. "I have a surprise for you when you are done."

"Um," I whispered, gathering the courage to ask, "so, I get to stay with you all weekend?"

He smiled sweetly. "Are you okay with that?"

Sigh

"Very okay with that," I replied, leaning into his chest and pressing my lips to his.

"I'm happy, too. It sounds nice to spend a few nights together." He smiled gently.

I was slightly confused. "But … we spend every night together at Charlie's."

"Well, Bella." He kissed my neck. "I simply can't do the things I want to do to you in your father's house." He laced his fingers in my hair and placed his other hand low on my hip, pressing me to him.

Mmm.

"God, Edward. I can't wait until we're married." We kissed slowly and thoroughly until he pulled back with a grunt.

"Nothing too extreme. I just want to make sure I'm totally … acclimated to your body before we make love. I need to be ready right away, just in case." He winked.

Ugh.

Only the sexiest man in existence could make me wet while using the word 'acclimated'.

"Enjoy your bath, my dear, sweet Isabella." He leaned down and kissed the top of my head before leaving the bathroom.

As I soaked in the relaxing bath, I contemplated Edward's proposed amendment to our terms. Several emotions swept over me as I considered the pros and cons to his offer. On one hand, having sex with him right away sounded phenomenal. I'd wanted him to make love to me since the first time he kissed me. The new sexual aspect of our relationship only added to my desire. On the other hand, I couldn't stand the thought of waiting another six years to join him in his timeless existence. Although, I now shared his eagerness to become husband and wife, I considered his changing me to be our true marriage. Only then would I feel one with him—equal to him. It was sweet that he was concerned about my human experiences, but six years was way too long. I would need to think this over more and then discuss it with Edward again. In the meantime, I just wanted us to enjoy the weekend together.

When my bath was over, I found a large, soft towel on the edge of the tub. I dressed in the robe on the counter but was surprised to find nothing else to put on.

I figured I could put on my beach clothes again, but if Edward wanted me in only a robe, then I'd come out in only a robe. I grinned to myself.

I gathered the confidence to exit the bathroom. "So, Mr. Cullen. Is leaving me only a short robe to wear a hint at what you have planned for tonight?" I smiled.

He chuckled softly. "Well, there were also a bra and some panties on the counter for you, Bella."

"Wha—" I glanced back and saw a pair of white cotton panties and a lacy white bra on the floor. They must have fallen when I'd picked up the robe.

"Oh, sorry." I meekly went back to the bathroom and put them on, flushed with embarrassment.

When I returned to Edward's room, he hugged me tightly. "Mmm, Bella. Don't ever be sorry for not wearing underwear." He nuzzled my neck firmly, and I felt his cool breath on my skin.

He leaned back and looked into my eyes. "I just thought you would want more coverage while I massage you."

Oh.

Suddenly, I was no longer embarrassed. I obliged as he guided me to the center of his bed. His cool hands softly grazed the flesh of my legs, and I shivered in response.

"Bella, are you cold?"

"Mmm, no," I purred. "You make me feel so hot, Edward."

He stilled, and I was a little worried my honesty had frightened him. Then he groaned and slid his hands up my legs to my thighs, under the robe.

"You have to tell me if I massage you too hard, Bella." He sighed. "Okay? You must let me know if I hurt you."

With him touching me this way, I didn't mind if he hurt me. But I knew it was important to him. "Yes, Edward."

He tenderly slid his fingers up higher. They navigated underneath my hips to my waist, freeing the tie on my robe. Then he gently slid it off of my shoulders and threw it to the floor. I lay on my stomach before him in only a bra and panties while he massaged me tenderly. I loved that this was all his idea.

"Mmm, Edward," I groaned. Then, suddenly, I squirmed uncomfortably.

"Bella?" He removed his hands. "Was that too hard?" There was concern in his voice.

Grrr.

"No. I just have …" I paused, trying to ease the grainy discomfort. "Sand in … my naughty bits." I laid my head down in utter embarrassment.

He burst out laughing behind me.

Hearing his amusement was a relief. I couldn't help but also chuckle at the dilemma. "I guess I need to go and rinse again." I turned to get up, and suddenly, my stomach rumbled.

I looked to Edward, and he smiled. "Oops, I forgot that the human needs to eat."

"No. I'm fine. Just let me—" I tried to protest.

He placed a finger to my lips. "Go rinse your deliciousnaughty bits, Bella. I will make you lunch. We have all night, my love." He kissed me firmly, before leaving the room.

Sigh.

I couldn't wait until the only thing I was hungry for was him! Oh. And blood, of course.

What do you think? Should Bella agree to his amendment, even partially? Please review!