The next day, there were more people coming in and out of Zayn's room than I could count. The doctors came in and did tests, not saying anything to either of us before walking out. Over the course of the day, all the boys came and visited again, the fact that they were saying what would probably be their last words to Zayn evident in their eyes.
Throughout all the visits, I had refused to leave Zayn's side, even as the doctors did their tests. All of the boys, especially Zayn and Liam, had tried to get me to go home for a little while, but I couldn't bring myself to leave his side.
The room was empty for a glorious few minutes before Zayn's family walked inside. One look at all of their faces and I silently got up, kissed my boyfriend, smiled sadly at his family, and left the room for the first time in almost twenty-four hours.
I sat in the waiting room until his family walked out. Without any words, I got up and walked over to them, wrapping my arms around his mom. We stood in relative silence for a couple minutes before I moved onto his dad and then each of his three sisters.
"He wants to see you again," his mom said softly. I nodded and she reached out and squeezed my hand gently before they walked out of the hospital.
Every step on my journey back up to Zayn's room felt like a step towards death row. Which was slightly ironic because I was not the one lying in a hospital bed. No, that would be your boyfriend, I thought to myself as I walked back into his room.
"Hey there gorgeous," Zayn smiled at me as I stepped inside. I had only been gone for maybe thirty minutes, but there was a definitely a distinct difference in his appearance.
He patted the edge of the bed and I took a seat, trying my best to return his smile. "Hey Zayn, how are you?"
It was a stupid question, but he chuckled. "I've definitely been better," he teased, causing me to smile for real. I loved the fact that he was still able to be himself even in the midst of his situation.
"You're such a dork," I said playfully, lying down next to him. He rolled his eyes and nudged me before turning towards me and resting his arm across my waist.
We lied there, talking about anything and everything except the inevitable. If I didn't look around the room, it was almost like we were lying in Zayn's bed in his apartment, just like we would always do.
As we talked, I noticed a physical change in Zayn as he slowly got more and more worn down. He started taking longer pauses before answering, and his smiles were slow to appear. I knew the end was coming, and even the thought made tears spring to my eyes.
Zayn stopped in the middle of his sentence, smiling gently at me. "Hey, no crying, okay? I know what you're thinking and you have to stop. I refuse to let you cry." I smiled slightly, wiping my eyes as I nodded. "Good girl," he whispered, kissing me softly.
Less than an hour later, it was over. Our conversation had slowed to a stop until we were simply enjoying each other's presence. His hand was still around my waist and mine was resting on his cheek as we laid there. He kissed me again, my forehead, my cheeks, my nose, and my lips. "I love you baby girl," he whispered quietly.
"I love you too Zayn," I whispered back. He smiled softly and took one last breath, his body going slack next to me. Just like that, my boyfriend, my best friend, was gone. The tears that had I had held back began falling freely as I clung to him, not quite believing that he was gone.
The next couple hours passed in a blur as the doctors came in and I was kicked out. I collapsed to the floor in the hallway outside his room, still crying silently. I didn't even realize the boys have showed up until they were on the floor next to me, all in varying states of shock and sadness. Niall had his arm around my shoulders, crying freely as he rested his head on my shoulder, Liam was holding my right hand tightly in both of his, silently crying, Louis had my left hand and was trying not to cry, and Harry was pacing up and down the hallway, an angry look on his face.
Eventually we were broken up by the doctors and we were forced to relocate somewhere else. The other boys muttered about having things to do at home, but Liam walked with me, offering to drive me home. There was no way I would be able to drive myself so I gratefully climbed into his car. The ride was spent in silence, although he did keep a hold on my hand as he drove.
Once we reached my house, Liam pulled on my hand, stopping me from leaving right away. I turned towards him, wanting nothing more than to go up and collapse in bed. "If you ever need anything, anything at all, please call me. Zayn told me about…your situation and I don't live too far away so I can be over in a few minutes, okay?"
I nodded, nearly tearing up again at both the sweetness of this boy in front of me and the thoughtfulness of Zayn. He gave me a sad smile and let go of my hand, waving as he drove away.