Author's Notes: Hi I wanted to get this chapter of my chest so here it is.

Disclaimer: I (sadly) do not own Twilight, Wife Swap, A dog, a chimpanzee called Mo and I don't own allot of things!

Chapter 3: The Letter.

B (Bella's) Pov:

I was just relaxing "playing" with Edward when there was a cry down stairs. So me and Edward stopped "playing" and started putting our clothes back on. When we did that we walked down stairs to check what was going on. As soon as we came into the living room Alice was crying on the floor kicking, screaming and shouting. "No it's not fair we were meant to make Bella's life hell." I was shocked by the mention of my name who wouldn't be!

"Why make my life hell what did you want to do with me"

"We wanted to put you on wife swap"

"Hold on who's we?"

"Me Emmet and Jasper"

"But why me"

"I don't know it wasn't my idea Emmet why did you want to put Bella on wife swap"

"I can't remember oh yes I can do you remember last week when she started playing pranks on me"

"Emmet that wasn't me that was Edward"

"Oh right soz Bella"

"But why all the tears"

"Because you didn't get through" Phew that's a relief. "In fact they said that we've been band because last time we didn't take it seriously"

"What does the letter about then?"

"Ok I'll read it."

Dear Cullens

Dew to the last time you went on wife swap. We are very sorry but you have been banned from the show. Basically because the last wife was so scarred that she has fined the show because of what had happened and she started a roomer about you being vampires.

Yours truly, Wife Swap presenters

"What was the film like then surprise me"

"I'll go get it" Emmet went upstairs got the tape then ran back down and shouted "FILM NIGHT"

Emmet put the film on and got popcorn even though vampires don't eat but being the nit wit he is he just got it anyway. I then turned the light off and then Rosalie pressed play on the remote. The tape started outside our house with a voice what was meant to sound like Edwards.

Welcome to the Cullen house hold my name is Edward and I'm going to take you on a tour around the house. Here in Forks we have my absolute crappy step brother Emmet and his wife Rosalie I really don't see why she married him because he's a total nitwit and can never get anything right. This is my totally awesome, gorgeous step sister Alice and her totally awesome, strong, brave husband Jasper. This is Carlisle my step dad and his wife Esme. Carlisle works at the local hospital.

This is me and my totally fit wife Bella also my cute little adopted daughter Renesme or as we call her Nessie. That was the tour of the Cullen house hold I hope we see you soon bye!

"So Emmet how did you like the editing wasn't it really good."

"No it was absolutely fucking shit why did change it so much."

"Because most of it was totally wrong also Eddy wouldn't say peace out on camera."

"Edward would you say peace out on camera?"

"Err no are you mad I wouldn't even say it even if I was on camera!"

Author's Notes: So how was it I'm sorry it took to long my dads at Africa Review please!