We're inseparable after that. We spend every moment with each other. Half the time, she spends the night at my place, and half the time, I spend the night at hers. The only problem with this is her crabby ass best friend and roommate that I met at the club. Regina. What a bitch. She scowls at me every time she sees me, like she's jealous or something. Doesn't she have her own soul mate? I mean, everyone does, right?
This goes on for about two weeks, until finally, I find myself alone with Regina in the kitchen shortly before Belle was due to be home from work. (She'd given me a key to the apartment so I could let myself in.)
"I can hear you guys fucking all night, you know," she says suddenly, her tone sharp as she forcefully breaks the silence.
I avoid looking at her as my face turns hot and red. I know I'm blushing and I can feel it. It's not that I'm ashamed to say I've been having sex with my soul mate. I'm just ashamed to say her roommate's been listening to it. I also feel kind of bad that she'd been subjected to that. I'm sure it's more than awkward.
"Did you hear me?" she snaps.
Finally, I turn around, trying to look stern and serious which at the same time trying to hide my embarrassment.
"And?" I force myself to say, even though I know exactly why that would bother her.
"And it's fucking gross. You moan like a porn star."
"How do you know it's not her moaning like that?" I shoot back, starting to get angry.
"Because I know what she sounds like when she moans."
My heart stops. What a fucking bitch. I want to punch her in the face. I doubt I could take her, and I know Belle would be pissed, so I take two steps back and simply scowl at her. I don't dare to ask how she knows that, but she tells me.
"We used to fuck all the time."
I think I'm gonna be sick. I need to get high. I haven't used drugs since I started seeing Belle, but right now, I need them. I know I wasn't in Belle's life before just recently, but the thought of her fucking someone else makes me nauseous.
"Cat got your tongue?" she taunts.
I'm really close to punching her.
"What, princess? You thought she'd never been with anyone before? Thought she was a virgin?"
"Shut the fuck up," I finally say, having heard enough.
Then, the front door swings open.
When she sees us staring at each other, looking furious, she looks concerned and quickly asks, "What's going on?"
"Oh, nothing, dear," Regina croons. "Just telling Emma all about our fun little escapades."
"Oh, my God," Belle breathes, dropping her purse to the floor and hurrying over to my side. "Emma, I-"
She takes my hands, but they're shaking, and I take another step back as I pull them away.
"Don't," I say sternly.
"Wait. Emma, please. I-"
"You could've told me. I wouldn't have cared. But you kept it a secret, and that's really fucked up."
"I know. I know. I'm sorry. I just didn't know how you'd react, and I didn't want to mess anything up."
"Yeah? Well now we-"
"I hate to interrupt-" Regina interrupts. "But I think she has a right to know."
"Shut up, Regina!" Belle cries.
I'm surprised to hear her voice sounding so harsh. I've never really heard her upset before. I guess it was bound to happen sometime, though.
"Why? Are you ashamed?"
"What?"
"Are you ashamed?"
"This isn't the time or the place for this, Regina."
"I think it is."
"You know what? Just because you're desperate and horny doesn't mean I am."
"Excuse me? You're the one who-"
"ENOUGH!" Belle shouts. "Back off, right now."
"Whatever. You know I'm right."
"Shut. The fuck. Up."
"Whatever. I'm getting the fuck out of here. You two can go ahead and fuck like animals now."
Before Belle can say anything else, Regina is slamming the door.
She turns to me, looking distraught, but I'm too upset to care.
"Emma," she tries, but I'm not listening.
I back away slowly and turn around, leaning with my elbows on the kitchen counter and my head in my hands. I feel so betrayed, and I can't explain it. Is this really what it's going to be like? For the rest of our lives…?"
"Emma, please."
I ignore her.
"Please, look at me."
I sigh and finally face her, saying coldly, "What?"
"What do you mean 'what?'"
"What do you want? What excuse could you possibly have for not telling me that you fucked your fucking roommate and best friend before me? You live with her, Belle! How could you let me think-"
"Look, I'm sorry, okay? I just-"
"I can't deal with this right now. I'm leaving."
"Emma, please don't go."
"I'm out, Belle. I'll call you when I stop feeling like I'm gonna fucking barf."
"Em-"
"Oh, and by the way?" I say. "Your best friend is a fucking cunt. But at least she's honest."
I leave and slam the door behind me, just like Regina.
I'm furious. I'm raging. But I call Ruby anyway, because I need to spill my guts right now. I know if I bottle it up, I'll explode.
"Rubes?" I say, my voice shaking with anger.
"Hey, love!" she answers brightly. "What's up? Haven't heard from you in a while."
It's true. I've barely spoken to her since things started with Belle. Suddenly, I feel guilty. I hardly even talk to her, and now I want her to let me vent? God, I'm a shitty person.
"I'm… I'm sorry, Ruby. I'm really sorry. I've been a shit friend lately, and I know it. I just… Some shit went down with Belle, and I really just wanted to talk to someone I trust."
"Alright. What happened, babe?"
"Can we go out tonight? I don't really want to talk about it over the phone."
"Why don't you come over now, and we'll go out after?"
"Alright."
I arrive at her apartment fifteen minutes later, and she throws her arms around me as soon as she opens the door.
"Ruby," I sigh. "This sucks."
"Tell me what happened."
"You remember Regina, right?"
"Well, yeah. Can't forget a sexy bitch like that."
"Belle was fucking her."
"Since you guys have been together?!"
"No. Before that. But… But she hadn't told me. Regina was the one to tell me. And God was she a bitch about it. But at least she told the truth."
"You're saying Belle didn't tell you?!"
"Yeah. That's what I'm saying."
"Holy shit, man. Like, I know it's not cheating, but they're fucking living together. They're best friends."
"I know!" I cry, exasperated. "I know."
"I'm so sorry, love," Ruby sighs, stroking my hair.
I can't lie. I love the way her hands feel, how gentle they are. In this moment, I'm more grateful than I've ever been that I have a friend like her. And I'm grateful that she's here for me, even after I've basically ignored her in favor of my new girlfriend.
"I love you, Ruby," I say softly, resting my head on her shoulder.
She holds me closer, and I realize how true the words are. What would I even do without her?
My phone rings. I look down at the screen, see that it's Belle calling, and ignore it.
"It's gonna be alright," Ruby tells me. "I'm sure you'll work things out. She probably just didn't want to hurt you. She didn't want to ruin such a good thing."
"That's a bullshit excuse!" I cry, jerking myself out of her embrace. "If she can't be honest with me, how are we supposed to be together?"
"You'll… It'll be okay. I'm sure you two will-"
"But what if we don't? Like, what if this is just how it is, and I'm crazy about her, but all she does is lie to me?"
"Has she lied about anything else?"
"Well… No," I tell her. "I mean, not that I know of."
"I can understand the concern. But I also think people deserve a second chance. Whenever I've seen you two together, she seems crazy about you too. I think you should consider the possibility that this was a one-time mistake made out of fear of losing you. I'm not saying that's definitely what it is, and I'm not trying to defend her. I'm just trying to say… I'm trying to say that maybe she's not a horrible person just because she did this. It doesn't necessarily mean she's going to lie again."
I see her point. But I'm too angry to accept it, so I sigh and turn away, but she grabs my hand and pulls me back into her arms, squeezing me tightly.
"By the way," she starts. "I love you too."
Belle calls me several more times, but I don't call her back until the next day, when I've started to calm down. I don't listen to any of her voicemails. I'm still upset. Still feeling betrayed. But I'm willing to give her a chance, like Ruby said.
"Hey," I say into the phone.
"Emma!" she cries. "Thank God. I thought you were hurt. I thought-"
"I'm fine."
"Oh, Emma. I'm so glad you finally called."
"I called because I think you deserve a second chance."
"I'm so sorry, Em. Thank you so, so much." When I remain silent, she adds, "How can I make it up to you?"
"Come over."
"I'll be there in twenty."
She shows up looking stunning, and my heart stops. Sure, I'm still pissed, but I can't deny the way her hair bounces around her shoulders, and the way her lipstick shimmers in the lamplight.
"Wow," I breathe, unable to contain the word. "You look…"
"Yeah?" she asks, smiling. "I wanted to wear something nice for you."
The dress is loose, but it fits her perfectly, and although I can't see her cleavage with that neckline, the cut of the fabric accentuates her breasts. I try not to drool, but God, she's beautiful.
Slowly, I confess, "You look lovely."
I hate myself for saying it. I want to stay angry. I want to be mad and withdrawn and not give her what she wants. But I reason with myself that giving her a second chance involves being vulnerable and allowing myself to remain open to her. Worse case scenario, I give myself to her again, and she throws away that trust, leaving me with two equally shitty options: I leave my soul mate, or I stay with her in a relationship of pain and distrust.
She steps closer, touching my cheek, and asks, "Can I kiss you?"
I hesitate, then think of the conversation I had with Ruby the day before. Give her a second chance, Emma. Everyone deserves a second chance. So I nod and lean in, letting her press her lips to mine. My heart flutters.
I don't break the kiss. In fact, I deepen it, my body responding faster than my mind can control it. It doesn't take long for us to find our way to the couch. She's kissing me harder, and I can tell she's eager to please, because she's far more careful than she usually is, and she makes me moan as her tongue slips past my lips. Again, I hate myself for giving in. At the same time, my body's going crazy, and I can't stop the rushing flood of thoughts about how much I want her. The ache in my core is growing.
"Do you want to-" Belle starts.
I interrupt her by nodding my head weakly, so she stops talking and kisses me again, her tongue hungrily finding mine. It feels good, the heat of her mouth. Soon, it's on my neck, and she's pulling my shirt off. We're undressed in what feels like and instant, and her naked body is pressed against mine.
"I love you," she says.
I don't know whether to say it back or not, but before I can make a rational decision, I feel her fingers push into me, and I moan, "I love you."
Then, she's fucking me, curling her fingers and making me cum, and I whimper loudly as the orgasm shakes me. I pleasure her next, and when she climaxes, she gasps like she's surprised, then cries out.
"Ah, fuck! Emma!"
She collapses on top of me as she finishes, and I hold her. The thoughts of her betrayal come rushing back as the sweat of our bodies makes us stick together.