Authors Note: Time for more Maddison chapters as I have more MerDer on some of my others and the other families are hard to write. Tanya is absent once again.
It is breakfast time at the Sloan household, and everyone is in a tired, grumpy mood because the neighbor's dog has been barking all night (it can still be heard). Addison is sitting at the table feeding Savannah, who is sitting in her highchair. Addison's hair is all ruffled and messed up. Ryan is in the kitchen playing around with the toaster and Noah is sitting at the table with his cereal box. Danielle is walking around with the camcorder, making a video diary. She too is tired.
DANIELLE (yawning)
Hey, Savannah. It's your big sister Danielle with the latest installment of my video diary.
ADDISON (frustrated)
Danielle, turn that thing off. It's breakfast time.
DANIELLE (snappy)
In a minute! (sits down) That noise you hear is our neighbors annoying new dog. Ever since she got that little rat none of us have gotten any sleep.
ADDISON
Danielle, I asked you to do something.
DANIELLE
And I asked for a minute!
ADDISON (standing, angry)
Your breakfast is getting cold. (walks into kitchen)
DANIELLE (angry)
Well, then, just put it back in the toaster! (turns back to the camcorder, embarrassed) Sorry you had to see that.
Danielle closes the camcorder and swings around on her chair. Noah is tipping the cereal box inside out searching for a prize.
NOAH (annoyed)
There is no prize in here! (to Danielle) There's supposed to be a prize!
DANIELLE
You took it out yesterday.
NOAH
I know, but I put it back in so I'd have something to look forward too.
Addison walks back over to the table as Noah gets up. She has Savannah's cereal.
ADDISON (calling out)
Mark, where are you?
MARK (VO)
Can I have a minute?!
ADDISON (hostile as she puts the cereal in Savannah's bowl)
Well HURRY UP! YOU'RE MISSING OUT ON QUALITY FAMILY TIME!
Addison walks back into the kitchen. Ryan is hitting the toaster with a wooden spoon.
ADDISON
Ryan, stop hitting the toaster.
RYAN
But it's taking forever, Mother. I don't even remember what I put in here.
Back over at the table, Savannah is giggling and playing with her princess cup.
ADDISON (pretending to be calm and happy)
OK, Savannah, I will get you your juice in just a minute, honey.
Unexpectedly, Savannah screams and violently chucks her cup over towards Addison. It rebounds off the wall and falls to the ground.
DANIELLE
Wow. Even Savannah's in a mood.
The father of the house, Mark, comes out to the kitchen and goes straight to open the fridge.
MARK (disgruntled)
'Mornin'.
ADDISON (as she goes to the table again)
Mark, did you forget to do something?
MARK
I'll kiss you tonight. (gets the juice out and closes the fridge)
ADDUSON
No. You only shaved half your face.
MARK (fully turns to Addison)
Pick, pick, pick. Maybe this is how I like to wear it now.
ADDISON (frustrated)
Well, it looks ridiculous. What if I decided just to brush half my hair?!
MARK
I thought you already made that decision.
This ticks off Addison and she uprises, going for Mark straight away.
ADDISON
Oh, you are going down!
Addison charges for Mark, who backs off as Noah pulls back his mother.
DANIELLE
Wow, wow, wow! Stop. Stop. Do you guys hear that?
NOAH
I don't hear anything.
DANIELLE
Exactly. (pause) The barking stopped!
They all breathe sighs of relief. Ryan is standing by the toaster still and his toaster finally pops up, with a 'ping'. But then all of a sudden the barking starts all over again...
FAMILY (annoyed)
Oh, Ryan?! Really!
They all start yelling grievances at Ryan.
OPENING CREDITS.
A little bit later, Addison has put Savannah back to sleep and walks into the kitchen again. The dog is still barking.
ADDISON
Well at least Savannah's getting some sleep.
NOAH
Why did Mrs Bilow have to get that stupid dog anyway? Why couldn't she have got something that made less noise? Like a fish?
DANIELLE (matter-of-factly)
Fish don't make any noise.
NOAH
I wish you were a fish.
Noah gets up from the table and walks away.
MARK
Can we all agree that thing is a pest? Because as an plastic surgeon, it is my job to help take care of patients...(corrects himself) pests.
Ryan is at the counter making his toast still.
RYAN
When you say "take care of", I know you actually mean kill. (almost sarcastic) Which I am totally fine with, by the way.
MARK
I'll just go over to Mrs Bilow's and demand she keep the dog in at night.
ADDISON
Or, we could just try being friendly.
Noah sits down at the table again.
NOAH
Friendly? With Mrs Bilow, Mother?
The family starts laughing at her idea.
DANIELLE
What is this crazy idea?
ADDISON (ashamed)
Look, I am serious. How about I invite her over tonight for a cup of coffee and I bake a pie?
DANIELLE
I thought you wanted this to go well.
MARK (with reluctance in tone)
Okay, we'll have Mrs Bilow over. But I want everyone on their best behavior. (pointing at Ryan) Especially you, mister.
RYAN
I don't think I have a best behavior, Father.
MARK
Yeah? Well you better find one before tonight.
ADDISON (as she goes to the phone)
In her defence, Mrs Bilow wasn't always like this. She actually used to be kinda' nice.
RYAN (confused)
When was that?
ADDISON
Let's see, how old are you...?
The Sloan family are sitting in the lounge room in the evening with Mrs Bilow. Savannah is in her highchair. They all have a plate of pie.
MRS BILOW
All right, I've got my pie. What do you want?
ADDISON
We don't want anything, Mrs Bilow.
DANIELLE (with a smile)
Yeah, we're just being neighborly.
MRS BILOW (accusingly, at Ryan)
What did he do?
RYAN (defensively, with a shrug)
I didn't do anything!
MRS BILOW (hostile)
I don't like you, Ryan.
RYAN (calmly, putting his pie down)
Well, I like you Ms. Bilow. In fact, I'd like to "take care of you".
Mrs Bilow realizes Ryan's play on words and gives him a dark face with narrow eyes.
MARK (pointing at Ryan)
Out.
Ryan rolls his eyes and slowly walks out of the room, through to the kitchen.
ADDISON (politely)
Mrs Bilow. So you have a new dog? A little Yorkie?
MRS BILLOW (realizing)
So that's what this is about?
NOAH
It's not not what this is about.
MRS BILLOW
Dog's got a name: Phosphate.
Danielle starts laughing and accidently snorts.
DANIELLE (through laughter, with a smile)
That's funny, because, you know, "Phosphate" is like so big, and strong, and your dog is so... so... (Mrs Billow gives her a look of displeasure) ...just being neighborly.
MARK (to Mrs Bilow)
Look, the thing is, Phosphate has a tendency to bark... a lot. All night long.
ADDISON
So we were wondering if maybe you could bring him in before bed time.
MRS BILLOW
I 'dunno. Fresh air's good for dogs.
MARK (trying to be funny)
Well, sleep is good for people. Especially for a Plastic Surgeon and a Neonatal Surgeon.
Mark looks over at Danielle and laughs with her. Mrs Billow fake laughs but then speaks the truth:
MRS BILLOW (seriously)
I had that same thought after every one of your many babies arrived.
Addison looks around the room awkwardly.
MARK
We were talking about the dog.
MRS BILLOW
Well, since we're airing our grievances...
DANIELLE (interrupting; pointing at Mrs Billow's plate)
We begged her not to make that pie.
MRS BILLOW
I was gunna' say, that maybe there's a little something you can do for me.
ADDISON
Oh, Mrs Billow, we've already told you. We're not sending Ryan to military school.
MARK
But if it's a deal breaker, we are willing to send him to other places.
Mrs Billow walks over to the window.
MRS BILLOW
I was talking about your oak-tree out back. There's a branch that hangs over my yard, always dropping egg-corns and making a big mess.
MARK (standing)
No problem! Dog goes in, branch comes off. (holding out his hand for Mrs Billow to shake) We got a deal?
Mrs Billow is hesitant before she shakes Mark's hand.
MRS BILLOW
We have a deal.
DANIELLE (protesting from her seat)
But, Dad, that branch holds our tree house!
MARK
So what? You kids haven't been up there in years.
NOAH
I'm confused. Is Ryan going somewhere or not?
Everyone looks at Noah like he's an alien.
MRS BILLOW
You know, if that tree house comes down, that'll be even better. More sunlight for my vegetable garden. (talking about herself) Start eating healthier, might even make my goal of living to be a hundred.
Noah spits out a big spray of water from his mouth after hearing Mrs Billow's goal. Mrs Billow thinks no more of it and goes towards the door to leave. Addison rushes over to her.
ADDISON
Mrs Billow, don't you want to stay and finish your pie?
MRS BILLOW (trying not to offend)
Eh, you have a good night now.
Addison smiles half-heartedly as Mrs Billow leaves. Ryan walks back in from the kitchen.
RYAN
She's gone? (sarcastic disappointment) But I didn't get my hug.
MARK (sitting back down)
Well, at least we'll finally be able to get some sleep.
DANIELLE
Too bad we have to loose our tree house.
RYAN
We have a tree house?
NOAH
Yeah! Danielle, Tanya and I used to go up there all the time when we were little.
DANIELLE (laughing as she remembers)
Yeah, we had so much fun up there.
ADDISON (feeding Savannah)
Are you kidding me? All you three ever did up there was fight.
NOAH
That's now how I remember it. We had great times.
DANIELLE
Yeah. I mean, except for, you know, all those times where you fell out the window.
NOAH (trying to cover his embarrassment)
Well I enjoyed those too.
RYAN
How did I not know we had a tree house?
MARK
Well, 'cause it's kind of overgrown. I built it that summer we went to Athens.
He stands up and walks away.
RYAN (standing and shouting, annoyed)
You guys went to ATHENS?!
NOAH
Well, yeah! We used to do all kinds of fun stuff.
RYAN
When did that stop?
DANIELLE (to Ryan)
Wait, how old are you?
Ryan looks offended.
Danielle and Noah are up in the tree house looking around at old memories. Danielle has the camera and is recording a video diary for Savannah.
DANIELLE (looking around, talking to camera)
Check it out, Savannah. Here's our old tree house. (pointing at the tea-set on the table) Oh, look! Here's our old tea-party set. (pointing at a board of checkers) And all our old board games... (pointing at a different bench) Oh, wait! And look at this. These are those Chinese handcuffs that Noah always used to get stuck in.
Noah is over in the corner and surely, he has got himself stuck in another set of the Chinese handcuffs. He is trying to release himself but can't.
NOAH
Uh, little help?
Danielle turns off the camcorder and places it down as she frees PJ from the handcuffs. As she places them back on the bench she notices an old baby doll and picks it up. It isn't in the best state - it is all dirty and has bandaids on the head.
DANIELLE (glad)
Oh, Baby Boo-Boo! Oh my goodness, I thought I lost her. It's been so many years.
NOAH (referring to the state of the doll)
And those years have not been kind.
DANIELLE (smiling)
Yeah, I remember I used to come up here and pretend Boo-Boo was a real baby. (smiling down at the doll) I was a very good mother, huh?
NOAH (matter-of-factly)
Until you left your baby in a tree house for Eleven years.
Danielle is looking over at the wall and notices something. She drops the doll and runs over.
DANIELLE
Oh, wow, look. (looking at the wall) Here's something you carved into the wall. (reading)"Noah hearts SC". (looking at Noah) Who's SC?
NOAH (proudly)
Sour Cream. (Danielle looks weirdly at him, he exhales deeply) Ah, it was a simpler time.
DANIELLE (looking around)
You know what stinks?
NOAH (thinks Danielle is talking about the sour cream)
When they pre-mix it with onions for onion dip?
DANIELLE
No. It stinks that Savannah is never gonna get to use this tree house.
NOAH
She'd probably love it up here.
Mark is calling the kids down.
MARK (VO)
Kids! Come on down now.
DANIELLE (pleadingly)
Noah, we have to save this place for Savannah.
NOAH
Well, I wish we could, but Dad made a deal.
DANIELLE (trying to think of a reason)
Yeah, well... deals are made to be broken!
NOAH (pointing commemoratively)
Right! The golden rule!
Danielle looks confused at how she fooled Noah so easily. Mark calls them again and this time they come to the window.
MARK (VO)
Kids!
As they look out the window, they see that Mark is holding his safety glasses and a chainsaw.
DANIELLE (she and Noah are leaning on the window)
Hey, Dad, we changed our minds. We don't want to loose the tree house after all.
MARK
It's too late. I already shook hands on it.
DANIELLE
Well, can we at least talk about this?
NOAH
Yeah, can we take a family vote?
MARK
This isn't a democracy, guys! And by the way, even if it was (holds up his chainsaw), the guy with the chainsaw ALWAYS wins. (waving them down) Come on. Come on down.
DANIELLE (cheekily)
No!
MARK (shocked)
No...?
DANIELLE (smirking)
No. We're not leaving.
NOAH
Yeah. We're staying right here. (forceful) We're fighting the power!
MARK (pointing at the ground)
Get down here now or you're grounded!
NOAH (as though it is obvious)
You can't ground someone who isn't actually on the ground!
DANIELLE
Yeah. Right on, Noah. Fight the power!
MARK
You know what? (puts on his safety glasses and holds up the chainsaw) Good like fighting the power saw!
Danielle and Noah look slightly alarmed when Mark pulls the string and the motor of the chainsaw rumbles up.
MARK (with a triumphant smile and tone)
You're coming down one way or another!
DANIELLE
No, we are not! OK?! We have history on our side. WE are going to protest peacefully like Ghandi and Martin Luther King. He had a dream.
MARK (despairingly)
Yeah? Well, I got a dream too, Danielle! To get some sleep!
Mark powers up the chainsaw and rumbles even louder.
DANIELLE (shouting with a victorious tone)
You're not scaring us!
NOAH
No, we laugh at you! Ha ha ha - Ha ha ha!
takes off his glasses and turns the chainsaw down.
MARK
All right, you know what? I'm done messing around! (trying to make them scared) I'm bringing out the big guns. Yeah-ahhhheaaahhhh. That's right. MOM!
Satisfied he has scared them, Mark walks off into the house.
DANIELLE (calling after him, not scared)
Hoo-hoo, you go get Mum.
NOAH
Yeah, she doesn't scare us! (once Mark out of ear shot, he looks at Danielle) This is bad, he's getting Mother.
DANIELLE
Lock her up!
Frantically, Danielle and Noah close the window on their side so they are shut in.
Mark storms inside to the living room where Addison is folding some washing. The back door slams as he enters.
MARK (pointing outside, demanding)
Go out there and get your kids out of that tree.
ADDISON (non-seriously)
OK, why are they always my kids when they won't do what you want?
MARK (angry)
They're having some sort of sit in to save the tree-house. Now, I-I-I appreciate that they're taking a stand, I just don't like that it's against me!
ADDISON (amused almost at her husband)
Would you calm down?!
MARK (agitated)
But I'm the father! I'm in charge around here! (on his wife's narrow eyes and face) ...When you're not home.
ADDISON
Honey, you are getting upset over nothing. This is Danielle and Noah we're talking about. They can't be in the same room for five minutes without getting into a fight. They won't last an hour up there.
MARK (finally agreeing)
All right. (with force) But when they come down, they're getting punished for defying me. (Addison gives him yet more narrow eyes and expression) ...If that's okay with you.
Addison continues folding the washing.
Danielle and Noah are sitting in the tree house playing a game of checkers. Noah is starting to get bored and he sits back from the table.
NOAH (unenthusiastic)
I'm tired... and cold. How much longer can we keep this up?
DANIELLE
We've been up here for twelve minutes.
NOAH
If I'd known we were going to protest, I would've prepared. For one thing, I wouldn't have had that extra large root-beer.
DANIELLE (assertive)
Let's just stay focused on why we're here. For Savannah.
NOAH
That doesn't help. Savannah gets to pee whenever she wants. Which is why my idea-
DANIELLE (interrupting)
OK, please don't tell me about diaper for teens again.
Ryan steps into the tree house from the opening on the floor.
NOAH
Hey, Ryan.
DANIELLE
Hey.
RYAN (looking around)
So, this is the famous tree house I never knew about?
DANIELLE
Wanna' join our sit in?
NOAH (trying to sound smart)
Just like when Ghandi and Billy Jean King teamed up to stop the civil war.
DANIELLE (disappointed and amazed)
Wow. Almost every word in that sentence was wrong.
NOAH (to Ryan)
Whataya' say, Ryan? Are you in?
RYAN (shrugging)
I'm in.
NOAH
Great.
DANIELLE (claps)
Yeah!
Ryan goes to shut the hatchet from which he came in from.
NOAH
Oh, but first you'll need to bring us some supplies. Just the essentials: snacks, my video games, my guitar, cocoa...
DANIELLE
Wow. Dude, this is a sit-in, not a move-in.
NOAH (looking at Ryan still)
Oh, and some sour cream! (looking at Danielle) Yeah, that's right. The love affair continues.
RYAN (heading back down)
Well, I'll be back.
Ryan closes the hatchet as steps back down.
Mark is looking out the window in the lounge room with binoculars, trying to spy on the kids. Ryan walks past carrying things to take up with him to the tree house: food, sleeping bags, and games.
MARK (turning)
What are you doing?
RYAN
Oh, I'm gonna' join the sit-in. (proud) I have to do what's right, Father.
MARK
How about I take you out for ice cream instead?
Almost instantly, Ryan realizes he has a better offer and drops everything he is holding with a loud crash as it falls.
RYAN (smirking)
I'll be in the car.
Ryan walks outside.
Up in the tree house, Danielle and Noah are still sitting around looking even more bored. Noah is shuffling a deck of cards while Danielle sits anxiously next to him.
NOAH
What was that crazy card game, we used to play with all the eight's?
DANIELLE (obviously)
Crazy eight's?
NOAH (as if it doesn't ring a bell)
No...
DANIELLE (anxious)
Where is Ryan with the snacks? Now I'm getting hungry.
NOAH
So hungry. Keep thinking I smell filet migion cooking.
Danielle sniffs around a bit and she scents something.
DANIELLE
Yeah, me too.
NOAH
Really?
Danielle and Noah open up the window and look down. Sure enough, Mark is down there on the ground cooking on the BBQ and making sure he waves the smell up to the tree house in attempt to spite his kids. His apron is orange and says "BIG DADDY." He looks up as he waves the steams up.
MARK (trying to remain calm)
Oh, hey! Don't mind me. Just making dinner for my family. You know, the ones on the ground.
DANIELLE (laughing slightly)
Yeah, OK? We know what you're doing and it's not gonna' work.
MARK (teasingly as he cooks)
Well, suit yourself. But I'm making one medium rare. The way someone likes.
NOAH (aside to Danielle, tempted)
I like medium rare, he's talking about me.
DANIELLE
Stay strong.
MARK
Now I'm gonna be right back. I'm going inside the house to check on my chocolate eclairs.
Mark cackles evilly as he strides back in the house.
NOAH (calling after)
Two can play at this game!
Noah turns back into the tree house to fetch something.
DANIELLE
Well, yeah, if we had a BBQ and some steaks.
Noah holds up a toy fishing rod.
NOAH (sneakily and with a grin)
Catch of the day: T-Bone.
DANIELLE
Yes!
They lean over the window again and Noah lowers the line.
NOAH
OK...
DANIELLE (looking down)
Oh, no, you'll never get the T-Bone. Go for the sirloin.
NOAH (deep as he looks)
All right. Yeah... (excited) I got it! I got it!
DANIELLE
I've never loved you more!
NOAH
No...
All of a sudden, Noah looses grip of the fishing rod and drops it down on the BBQ. The mood goes from excitement to disappointment again.
DANIELLE
Oh, you idiot!
Mark comes back outside and spots the toy fishing rod cooking on the BBQ. He laughs teasingly.
MARK
Hehehehe. (holding it up) I think somebody overcooked their fishing pole. (Danielle and Noah look slightly embarrassed) This looks more "medium-well".
Mark laughs evilly and places it onto the plate he is holding. Noah sits down on a box in the corner of the tree house.
NOAH (frustrated)
I'm so hungry! But there's nothing to eat up here. (holding up an acorn) Or is there...? Acorns! Acorns are food, right?
DANIELLE
Eww! For squirrels.
Noah starts trying to bite into the acorn but isn't very successful.
NOAH (annoyed)
How do squirrels do this?!
DANIELLE
Well they're squirrels.
NOAH (giving in)
You know what? I can't take this anymore. I'm done.
Noah leans down to step out of the tree house, but Danielle pulls him back up.
DANIELLE
What?! No! You're just giving up? That is so like you.
NOAH (insulted)
What is so like me?
DANIELLE (flustered)
To be a quitter.
NOAH
Oh, yeah? Well you're bossy.
DANIELLE (calm at first, insulted)
I am not bossy. (demanding, in his face) Don't you ever call me that again! I forbid you!
NOAH
Bossy.
DANIELLE
Quitter.
NOAH
Oh, real mature.
DANIELLE
Oh, I am more mature than you!
NOAH
Oh, whatever.
Danielle gets an inflated plastic bat and starts hitting into Noah with it.
NOAH
Hey!
Noah grabs up Danielle's doll and hangs it over the edge of the window.
NOAH
All right! Drop the bat, or Baby Boo-Boo becomes Baby BBQ!
DANIELLE
You wouldn't dare!
NOAH
Try me.
Noah wobbles the doll up and down.
DANIELLE
Give me the baby.
NOAH
Give me the bat.
DANIELLE
The baby.
NOAH
The bat.
Danielle and Noah step narrowly across to each other and briskly exchange their items, careful that one doesn't escape with both. Danielle puts the doll down and as she turns around Noah starts whacking into her with the bat. She gets her own one and starts hitting into him also, and as the battle becomes more violent Danielle accidentally pushes Noah out the window... he is left hanging upside down as Danielle races to look.
DANIELLE
Noah!
NOAH (hanging)
Pull me up! Pull me up.
Danielle starts to heave up Noah with great struggle and sighs. She stops.
DANIELLE
Oh wait. Are you quitting?
NOAH
What?!
DANIELLE
You know, like, if I pull you back in, will you keep doing the sit in?
NOAH
Since my alternative is a face-first dive into a BBQ, yes.
Danielle starts heaving again and grunts, but lets him hang again:
DANIELLE
Oh, ah, one more thing. (with a cheeky expression) You have to drive me wherever I want to go for the next month,since you have the Merecedes.
NOAH
Deal! Now pull me up, my face is burning.
DANIELLE
OK..
Danielle keeps on pulling and Noah helps himself up with the guidance of his hands. After a while, he is able to sit back up in the tree house.
NOAH (looking distressed)
Thank you for saving me.
DANIELLE (casually with a wave of her hand)
No problem.
NOAH
Although, you wouldn't have had to save me, if you didn't push me out of the tree house!
All of a sudden, Noah grabs up the plastic bat again and starts attaching Danielle with it, cornering her down. She holds up her hands in surrender.
DANIELLE
Wow, wow, wow! Wait! Stop! Truce. Truce. (Noah drops the bat) Gosh, what is wrong with us? We're going at it like six year olds.
NOAH
Mother was right. Us and Tanya did fight up here all the time, didn't we?
DANIELLE
Yeah, and nothing's changed. We're still doing it.
NOAH
Is this the way it's always gonna' be between us?
DANIELLE
I hope not. I mean, I don't wanna' be sitting on the porch of our old folks home whacking each other with foam bats.
NOAH (sounding annoyed)
Oh, do we have to live in the same old folks home?
DANIELLE (being serious)
Noah, if we can't come together and do this one thing for Savannah, we're not gonna' be able to come together to do anything.
NOAH (now serious also)
You're right. We can do this. (holding out his knuckle) For Savannah?
DANIELLE
For Savannah.
Danielle clangs her knuckle fist with Noah. Looks like they've finally come to common ground. There is an awkward silence.
DANIELLE
So, uh... what do you wanna' do now?
NOAH
I 'dunno... (tuts) Pfft, I wish we could hurry up and save this tree house so we could get the heck out of this tree house!
Back in the house, The other three members- excluding Savannah; are sitting down at the kitchen table for dinner. Mark points out the window as he comes and sits down.
MARK (about Danielle and Noah)
They're still up in that tree. (to Addison, as he sits) You said they'd be down by now.
ADDISON
Well I thought they would be.
Ryan holds up his steak which has the remains of the toy fishing rod Noah and Danielle used earlier on.
RYAN
Why is there a plastic hook in my steak?
Eat around it.
ADDISON (cheerful)
You know, when you think about it, this is actually kind of nice. I mean, Danielle and Noah are finally working together on something. I'm proud of them.
MARK (aggravated)
Whose side are you on? Ours or the rebels? (points outside)
ADDISON
The Rebels? ...OK, you realize we're not actually at war, right?
MARK
Of course I do. For that to happen, someone would have to issue a formal declaration of war. (looking back through the living room) ...Which should almost be done printing out.
ADDISON
Mark, they're doing exactly what we taught them to do. They're standing up for what they believe in.
MARK (mad, with a raised voice)
Well you know what?! Now we're going to teach them don't mess with daddy! (pointing upstairs) Ryan, go get your water-balloon launcher.
Ryan stands.
ADDISON (ordering tone)
Ryan, sit. (to Mark) Mark, you're taking this too far.
MARK
Uh, no I'm not. (to Ryan) And I gave you an order, mister! (stands again)
ADDISON (looking directly at Mark)
Ryan, stand down!
Mark looks disappointed at his son. Ryan moves closer to Addison.
RYAN
Sorry, Dad. But I'm a little more afraid of Mum.
MARK
Fine. I'll fight this battle myself.
Addison gives him a 'look' and Mark walks out.
ADDISON
Ryan, sweetheart, you're not really afraid of me are you?
RYAN
A little.
ADDISON (shrugging)
Good.
Addison takes a forkful of food into her mouth.
Mark comes running outside with the water balloon launchers full of water balloons. He looks up to see where the kids are in the tree house. The window is open.
MARK (shouting out)
I'm giving you one last chance to come down! (there's no answer) OK! Ha-ha- all right. I don't like doing this. But you forced my hand.
Mark stands on one of the water balloon launchers and hauls one shooting up towards the tree house, and the force of it closes one of the windows.
MARK
Ah! (annoyed) Oh, come on. You got lucky! You got SO lucky! You know what? The next one's coming right through the window.
Suddenly, Noah and Danielle come to the window, but they're not alone. Addison, holding Savannah, along with Ryan, have joined them.
ADDISON (VO)
Yeah? Beat that!
All at once, the family throws a dozen water balloons down at Mark. He tries to shield himself. The family cheers.
MARK (confused)
What are you doing?
ADDISON (with a smile)
Fighting the power!
MARK (almost sad)
But we're the power.
ADDISON
The kids are right. This tree house is worth saving!
On the ground, Mrs Billow walks through the gate and approaches Mark.
MRS BILLOW
What is going on over here?
MARK
You know, this really isn't a good time, Mrs Billow.
MRS BILLOW.
You better get a handle on that wife and kids of yours, because right now looks like they're kicking your butt.
MARK (impatient)
Would you let me deal with this? Please?
MRS BILLOW (with power)
You better. 'Cause Phosphate is getting kinda' lonely. I'm thinking of getting another dog.
MARK (intimidated)
Are you threatening me?
MRS BILLOW (spiteful)
This one's gonna be female. Might even have some puppies.
Mark looks at Mrs Billow with a really "cheesed off" face. He sighs and starts to climb the ladder up the tree house. Mrs Billow smiles as she watches him go.
MRS BILLOW (calling after Mark)
That's right. You go get them down. Time to work those Plastic Surgeon hands!
As Mark reaches the tree house, he leans inside and the family gets ready to throw more balloons at him.
DANIELLE
Oh, he's coming up.
NOAH
Get the balloons ready.
MARK
Hold your fight!
RYAN (holding up a water balloon)
Careful, Father. This could be a trick.
MARK (stepping in)
I come in peace. I come to join the resistance.
The family all cheer him in with welcome. Mark leans out the window and calls down to Mrs Billow:
MARK
That's right, Mrs Billow. I don't care about your dog. Oh, the Plastic Surgeon hands are working! And they're staying up here with my family!
Again, the family cheer and give each other a high five. Mrs Billow walks back off into her house looking annoyed.
DANIELLE (to Savannah, cute voice)
You're gonna' have a tree house, Savannah. For a long, long time.
NOAH
Yup.
Suddenly, from beneath them, there's a snapping sound. The branch holding the tree house together is falling... Mrs Billow, now at her porch, turns back to look. The family all stand stone still in the tree house with fear.
NOAH
What was that?
DANIELLE
Hey, have we ever all been up here at the same time?
Mark holds up his arm for everyone to remain calm as the tree house starts shaking and there's a big snap as it falls to the ground. Mrs Billow watches it all happen. There's some grunts of pain as they all get to their feet, being lucky enough to all survive the fall. But Savannah is missing from Addison's baby holder...
ADDISON
Is everyone okay?
KIDS
Yeah...
MARK
Yeah, I think so.
There's a cry from Savannah which grabs Danielle's attention. She looks up and notices her baby sister hanging in her baby strap from a branch in the tree.
DANIELLE
Oh, look!
Noah, being the closest, slowly gets her from the branch and even more slowly hands her back to Addison. They all sigh with relief when she's okay. Mrs Billow walks back through the gate.
MRS BILLOW (looking and sounding satisfied)
Was that so hard?
Mark approaches Mrs Billow.
MARK (calm and sounding mellow)
Yeah. Well the tree house is down, so you're going to be bringing your dog in tonight, right?
MRS BILLOW
Oh, Phosphate doesn't belong to me. I was just dog-sitting for a couple of days. (the whole family, Mark in particular, look distressed) What?! I'm a cat person. And an excellent negotiator. (laughs evilly)
Mrs Billow points at Ryan and continues to laugh as he walks back into her backyard. Her laughing can still be heard over the fence. Ryan gets a balloon and is about to throw it at Mrs Billow.
MARK
Do not throw that balloon! (gets the launcher) We're going to launch that balloon!
RYAN
Oh, yeah!
DANIELLE
Go, Father!
Ryan and Mark ready the launcher and shoot it right over the fence. They hear it land right on Mrs Billow and all jump around with cheer. Everyone high-fives.
The next day, Mark, Noah, and Ryan are out the back constructing a new tree house to put in. Danielle is making a video diary for Savannah.
DANIELLE (into the camera, the boys constructing)
Well Savannah, dad and the boys are building you a new tree house. (walking off) So, someday you can go up there and play with Baby Boo-Boo. You know, just as soon as we find her head. (chuckles as she holds up Baby Boo Boo's body with a tennis ball stuck in where the head should be) Right now she's Baby Tennis-Ball! Yeah, whoo! ...No, not as much fun. Well... good luck, Savannah.
Danielle switches the video camera off.
Danielle is sitting on the couch in the living room reading a magazine. Mark comes running in through the back door holding a mask.
MARK
Sssshhhh!
DANIELLE
What are you doing?
MARK (standing in front of the kitchen door)
Ryan says he is more scared of Mum than he is of me. So, I'm going to scare him. (puts on the mask over his face and picks up a chainsaw. Ryan walks through) Arrrrggggggghhhhhh!
Ryan doesn't even blink. He calmly waves at Mark.
RYAN
Hey Father.
Mark shrugs as Ryan goes and sits down beside Danielle. Addison walks in from the front door, still wearing her lab coat from Seattle Grace.
ADDISON (as she enters)
Ryan, honey, did you finish your homework?
RYAN (terrified, stammering)
I-I-I-I-'m on it, Mom!
Ryan looks scared out of his wits as he runs off upstairs. Addison drops a magazine on the couch and walks past Mark, who has taken off his mask, with a teasing look.
ADDISON (smirking)
You either got it or you don't.
She walks through to the kitchen and Mark watches his wife of twenty years go, wondering what he missed.
(END OF CHAPTER THREE)
Authors Note: Merry Christmas! OK, so nobody seems to really enjoy this because there are only 125 views plus 0 follows/favorites/reviews so I know you guys out there are reading it but why won't you review or at least giving me more indication that you are reading it? Please and tell me what you want me to do next chapter- past, present, or future as what I have in mind for next chapter is the past and it is too complex to write. So if I get some reviews, I will update ASAP.