Le Châtiment

Ichigo groaned carnally, wrapping his arms around Grimmjow's neck as the older man thrusted into him brutally. Ichigo was reeling; he couldn't believe he'd actually let Grimmjow fuck him against a goddamn wall, but the blue haired Adonis could be very convincing when he wanted something. So here they were, fucking in Grimmjow's office.

"Say my name, Ichi," Grimmjow commanded.

"Gr-Grimmjow..." Ichigo moaned, obediently. Grimmjow gave a purposeful thrust, attacking his young lover's prostate. Ichigo cried out, digging his nails into Grimmjow's back.

"Louder," he demanded.

"Grimmjow!"

"Tell me you love me."

"I love you, Grimmjow." Grimmjow smirked before wrapping his hand around Ichigo's straining erection.

"I love you too, Ichi. Cum for me."

Ichigo whimpered pitifully as his cum drenched the small area between him and his lover. Grimmjow growled, giving a few more thrusts before releasing inside Ichigo. He pulled out and lowered Ichigo to the floor. Ichigo kissed him heatedly. He pulled away, resting his forehead against Grimmjow's.

Six blissful months. That's how long Ichigo had been with Grimmjow. He loved everything about him, and he knew Grimmjow felt the same way. That had been enough.

"Are you coming by tonight?" Ichigo asked, as he pulled up his boxers and pants. Grimmjow shook his head no.

"That's why I called you here. Nel's having some kind of bullshit dinner party tonight, so I won't be able to spend time with you. I'm sorry, Ichi."

Ichigo resisted the strong urge to punch something. He really fucking hated sharing his boyfriend with someone else. Call him a douche, but that's how he felt. He still wasn't used to not being the center of attention when it came to his significant other, and the thought that he actually wasn't Grimmjow's number one priority pissed him off.

"It's okay, Grimm. I understand," Ichigo said, monotonously. Grimmjow saw through his façade and pulled him into an embrace.

"No you don't, you brat." Ichigo slapped his arm. "I promise I'll make it up to you."

"Oh yeah? How?" Grimmjow smiled lecherously.

"How's about I make dinner and then have you for dessert?" Ichigo blushed furiously and then nodded.

"Alright. But I'm holding you to that, lecher." Grimmjow laughed boisterously and kissed Ichigo softly. Ichigo gave a short wave before leaving Grimmjow's office. He nodded to Harribel as he walked by. She gave him a slight nod and returned her attention to her computer screen. If she didn't know before, she knew now. He didn't expect the stoic blonde to rat him and Grimmjow out, especially since there was a long history of love lost between her and Nelliel.

He walked towards the elevator. Pushing the down button, he tapped his foot as he waited. Once the elevator doors opened, Ichigo almost squealed with surprise in a very unmanly fashion at who stood before him. Blood red hair pulled into a high ponytail, widened auburn eyes and decorative tribal tattoos clad in an immaculate tan suit that hugged delectable muscles. Ichigo just stood there staring. He jumped when the taller man spoke his name.

"Ichigo?" The orange head scratched his head, suddenly finding the carpeted floor extremely interesting.

"Uh, hey Renji. How are you?"

"I'm good. What are you doing here?" Renji asked. Ichigo felt his blush spreading when he recalled what he'd been doing just a few minutes earlier.

"I, uh, work for Grim-Mr. Jaegerjaquez." Renji looked at Ichigo with a knowing smirk that made the latter want to smack it off his face.

"Oh, I see. Well, you must be an awfully dedicated employee," he said, cheekily. Ichigo glared at him.

"Fuck off, jackass." He stepped around Renji to get on the elevator. He scowled when the red head grabbed his arm.

"Hey, don't go. I haven't seen you in what, six years? We used to be best friends, Ichi." Ichigo looked at him like he was insane.

"Aren't you mad at me for what I did?" he asked. Renji sighed and shook his head.

"To be honest, I wish I could be angry at you, Ichigo, but I'm not. You were going through a tough time back then, and I understand that now."

Ichigo didn't know what to say. He felt like the world's largest douchebag, especially when he looked into Renji's eyes. Renji was still in love with him, even after he'd been such an ass. And knowing that only made Ichigo want to kill himself. He sighed.

"Thanks, Renji. And if it means anything, I really am sorry." Renji just shook his head again and smiled genuinely.

"Don't worry about it, Ichi. It's in the past. I'll see you around?" he said. Ichigo nodded. Renji waved before heading in the direction of Grimmjow's office. Ichigo let out another sigh as the elevator doors closed. He was a real asshole.

Later that day, Ichigo stood outside of the double doors leading to Nelliel's office. He clenched his fists in frustration. He really didn't want to be around her right now, especially since his encounter with Renji. The way he'd looked at Ichigo, eyes full of love, made the orange head completely disgusted with himself. He definitely didn't want to sit face-to-face with the wife of his current lover and chat about the lessons he'd been helping their son with.

He pushed the door open and walked inside, taking a seat in front of Nelliel's desk. She looked up at him from some paperwork she'd been studying and smirked. Ichigo had come to loathe that snooty little smirk with every fiber of his being. It's like she was mocking him, even if she didn't know what was going on. But he was really getting the feeling that she did.

"Good afternoon, Ichigo. I trust that everything is going well?" she asked. Ichigo nodded. He felt nauseated. "That's good to know. Toushirou is doing exceptionally with all his lessons, thanks to you. You really are something else, Ichigo."

"Uh, thank you, Lady Odelschwanck." Ichigo said, nervously. This woman was really starting to creep him out.

"You've been working here for six months, and you still call me that? Oh I thought we'd be on better terms by now, especially since we have so much in common." She laced her fingers together, resting her chin on her hands. Ichigo raised an eyebrow.

"Like what, may I ask?"

"Well, we both have unusual names and hair colors. We both are fluent in three languages; I speak Italian and German and you speak French and Spanish along with Japanese. And we both have excellent taste in general." Ichigo got the feeling that taste that she was referring to wasn't general at all.

"All of that is true, Lady Odelschwanck, but I am your subordinate, so I will continue to address you as my superior." he cautiously said.

"Do you think I'm stupid, Ichigo Kurosaki?" she bluntly asked, her gaze suddenly darkening. Ichigo froze. Just what the hell was wrong with this woman?

"What do you mean, Lady Odelschwanck?" Nelliel smiled that creepy smile that didn't reach her grey eyes.

"I mean do you think I'm lacking intelligence or common sense? Do you think I'm dazed and unable to think clearly? Do you think I'm an idiot? A moron? A boob?" Ichigo squirmed under her gaze. He didn't respond to any of her questions. He felt like a deer caught in headlights. He couldn't move. "Answer the question, Ichigo Kurosaki. Do you think I'm stupid?" Ichigo suddenly felt extremely fidgety.

"No, not at all." he said, fighting the urge to run out of the room like he'd stolen something. Well, technically he had stolen something from Nelliel. He'd stolen her husband's heart.

"Well, it's good that someone recognizes my intelligence. Because apparently, my husband thinks I'm as dumb as a sack of hammers," she said. She flipped her emerald hair over her shoulder while still smiling at Ichigo. "But he knows where he belongs. And he'll always come back, no matter how far he strays. Want to know why, Ichigo Kurosaki?"

Ichigo didn't say anything, hoping Nelliel would take it as a rejection to her question. She didn't.

"It's because he made a promise. He made a promise to me, and to his parents, and to Toushirou, even before he was born. Grimmjow promised to love and to honor me, for richer or poorer, better or worse, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. And a real man never breaks his promises. Not even for a sexy little side piece like you."

Ichigo stared at his lap, clenching his fists until his fingernails dug into his palms painfully. She knew. She'd probably known the whole time, but she didn't bother to get upset with it because she knew Grimmjow wouldn't leave her for Ichigo. Then, Ichigo smirked.

"You're wrong. Grimmjow loves me," he said. Nelliel looked at him for a second and then she threw her head back and laughed. The sound only served to piss Ichigo off further.

"He loves you, you say? Open your eyes, side piece. If he loved you, wouldn't he have divorced me already? Just think about it for a second. If he loves you, why is he still here? I'll answer that myself; it's because he doesn't love you and he never did. You were just a substitute, a replacement. You don't mean anything to him."

Ichigo could feel his heartbeat pounding in his ears. This woman was a liar. Grimmjow loved him; he told him so almost everyday. Grimmjow wouldn't lie to him, would he? Sure he lied to Nelliel, but Ichigo was different. The only reason Grimmjow hadn't left Nelliel yet was because Ichigo hadn't asked him to. Grimmjow would leave if Ichigo asked.

"You're dismissed, Ichigo Kurosaki," Nelliel said, snidely. "Toushirou is waiting for you."

Ichigo glared at Nelliel's snooty little smirk and stood. Then he smiled his own creepy smile. He enjoyed watching her falter as they stared each other down. He left the office without another word. Yes, Grimmjow would leave if Ichigo asked. He was sure of it.

The next night, Ichigo sat in his living room with Immaculate. He was formulating his plan to get Grimmjow to leave Nelliel for him. He knew Grimmjow would; it was just a matter of how he'd ask him. He was leaning towards a more direct "say you'll leave her or we're not fucking tonight". He looked up at his lover as he entered the room. He smiled and stood, kissing him sensually. Grimmjow's hands roamed all over Ichigo's lithe frame, setting the younger man's libido on fire. But Ichigo had a mission; he had a point to prove.

He broke the kiss and Grimmjow's lips moved to his neck. Ichigo panted, glissading his fingers through Grimmjow's hair.

"Grimmjow?" Ichigo moved one of his hands to Grimmjow's groin. He heard the older man's breath hitch.

"What is it, Ichi?" he asked. Ichigo looked into Grimmjow's darkened cyan eyes.

"I want you to leave her."

Grimmjow's eyes widened as he looked at Ichigo. Ichigo stared back at him, getting angrier with each second that the other man stayed silent.

"Ichi...where is this coming from?" Grimmjow asked. Ichigo pulled himself away from him.

"Your wife knows about us. She said you don't love me and you never did. She said I don't mean anything to you. Is that true, Grimmjow?"

"No, Ichi. I do love you, but..."

"Then leave her."

"Ichi, it's not just about her." Grimmjow said, pleading with Ichigo to listen. But Ichigo didn't care anymore. He crossed his arms over his chest, staring Grimmjow down. The older man sighed, running a hand through his blue hair. "Look, I'll think about it, okay?"

Ichigo didn't respond. He was absolutely furious that he hadn't gotten a direct yes from Grimmjow. Then again, he hadn't gotten a direct no either. So he'd been right; all he had to do was ask. He uncrossed his arms and wrapped them around Grimmjow's waist.

"Fine," he said.

"Alright, Shiro. Tell me the quadratic formula."

"X equals negative b plus or minus the square root of b squared minus four times a times c divided by two times a." Ichigo smiled and gave Toushirou a high five.

"You're gonna go far, kid," he said, with a smirk. Toushirou laughed as Ichigo ruffled his snowy locks.

"Ichigo, we're best friends right?" he questioned. Ichigo paused in his actions and stared at the younger boy. Oh, he was gonna feel like shit by the end of this conversation.

"Uh, yeah, Shiro. Of course."

"I wish you could stay with us forever and be my big brother." Toushirou said, looking at Ichigo with his big blue eyes. Ichigo definitely felt like shit. "I was really lonely before you came, Ichigo. But because of you, I'm not alone anymore and I have someone I can call my friend. I'll always be grateful for that."

Oh shit, I'm gonna cry. Ichigo thought. It was then that Ichigo realized what he'd been missing when Grimmjow was speaking to him earlier. It wasn't just about him or Nelliel or Ichigo; it was about Toushirou. He wouldn't just be leaving Nelliel for Ichigo; he'd be leaving Toushirou too. Could Ichigo really ask him to do such a thing? Did he have the right?

"Thanks, Shiro. That really means a lot to me." he said, ruffling the boy's hair once more. Toushirou nodded and returned to his work. Ichigo resisted the urge to sigh.

No. He didn't have the right to ask Grimmjow to leave his family. So why couldn't he just let it go? It was a fact that he was madly in love with Grimmjow, and that his feelings were reciprocated, but in the long run, he wouldn't just be screwing up the relationship between Grimmjow and Nelliel. Ichigo frowned as he seriously started to think about the situation he'd gotten himself into for the first time. This was beyond wrong. It was damn right trifling, and he had to resist the urge to defenestrate himself.

"Are you okay, Ichigo? You look like you're gonna throw yourself out the window." Toushirou said, giving Ichigo an incredulous look. Ichigo shook his head and smiled.

"Everything's fine, Shiro." he said. Toushirou perked back up at his answer.

"Would it be okay if I came over with Yuki later to play with Immaculate?" he asked. Ichigo nodded.

"Sure. Why don't we start your French lesson for today?"

"Alright. Hey, I still remember the phrase you taught me last time!" the young boy responded enthusiastically. Ichigo felt his heart break into a million pieces when the boy enunciated the phrase perfectly. "Ne me quitte pas."

Ichigo paced around his living room, resisting the urge to tear his hair out strand by orange strand. He felt like chickenshit set on fire. He couldn't get the conversation he'd had with Toushirou out of his head. He'd become so close to the boy without even noticing it; to think he saw Ichigo as his only friend, his confidant, and Ichigo was betraying him by sleeping with his father. Who does shit like that? Apparently, he did.

And now Ichigo was asking his father to leave them. Asking Grimmjow to abandon his family, his wife, his son, for him. What kind of person had he become? How could he dare to ask such a thing? He continued to pace, mumbling obscenities under his breath. He stopped in his actions when Grimmjow walked in. He watched the cerulean eyes as they looked him over.

"You look deranged, Ichi." Grimmjow said. Ichigo sighed hanging his head.

"I know." he said. Grimmjow hugged him tightly, tracing patterns on his back with his fingertips.

"I've made my decision." Ichigo felt his heart rate speed up as he waited for Grimmjow to continue. "I'm gonna leave her."

Ichigo's head shot up from where he'd been resting it on Grimmjow's chest. He looked up into Grimmjow's eyes; he knew he was telling the truth. Grimmjow was going to leave Nelliel for him. And he was going to leave Toushirou. He pushed himself from the older man as he felt tears sting his eyes. If he wasn't sure before he was now; Grimmjow loved him. Ichigo hated himself for making Grimmjow choose between him and his son. And to know that Grimmjow chose him only made him feel worse.

"Grimm, wait..."

"What is it, Ichi? This is what you wanted, right?" Ichigo stared at the floor as tears flowed freely down his face. "I love Nelliel, I do. But I love you more, Ichigo. And if leaving her is what I have to do to prove that to you, then I'll do it. I'll leave."

Just then, there was a flash of white, and Ichigo found himself flat on his back with Toushirou punching him amazingly hard for such a small frame. Ichigo didn't bother to block the blows. He deserved what was happening right then, and everything that would happen afterwards.

"How could you, Ichigo? I thought you were my friend! How dare you try to take my father away from my mother, away from me! I hate you!" Ichigo listened to the boy's yells and took each punch.

"I...I'm sorry, Shiro." he said, weakly.

"No you're not! You're a liar! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!" Ichigo watched the boy scream his detestation while tears streamed down his face. He wanted to throw up, he was just that disgusted with himself.

Ichigo watched as the boy was lifted off of him by his father, kicking and continuing to scream. He pulled himself into a sitting position, resting his head on his knees, his sobs racking his entire body. His head felt like it would explode at any given moment, and he had an immense pain in his chest, as if his heart had been ripped out, still beating and all. It wasn't fair. Not to him or to Grimmjow or Nelliel, and definitely not to Toushirou. He was sure now, more than before; he couldn't have his cake and eat it too. He needed to end this.

He looked up when Grimmjow returned, a pained expression marring the older man's gorgeous features. He was sure he didn't look much better. Cyan locked on cinnamon, and Ichigo couldn't look away. He loved this man, with every fiber of his being, but it just wasn't meant to be.

"Grimmjow, I...I can't do this. I never should've asked that of you; I didn't have the right. I..." He was cut off by a kiss. It was slow and sensual and so full of love that it made him ache inside. He reluctantly pushed away from the other man.

"I don't understand, Ichi. Don't you love me?" Grimmjow asked. Ichigo held back a sob and tried to keep his voice from wavering; he failed.

"I do, Grimmjow. I love you so much that it hurts, but I...I can't do this anymore. I should have never pursued you in the first place. It was wrong of me, and I'm sorry." Grimmjow looked crushed and, if it was even possible, Ichigo felt worse.

"Are you...leaving me, Ichigo?" the older man asked, quietly. Ichigo nodded while looking at the floor. He couldn't look Grimmjow in the eyes when he spoke like that. "Please don't."

Ichigo looked up, but Grimmjow had his back turned to him. He walked towards him and put his hand on Grimmjow's shoulder, turning the bluenette to face him. He looked into gorgeous sapphire eyes full of unshed tears. Grimmjow was...crying for him. He wrapped his arms around the taller man, pulling him close.

"I'm sorry, Grimmjow, but I can't stay knowing how much it would hurt Toushirou. I love you so much, Grimm, but I just can't." he brokenly whispered into the other man's ear. Grimmjow's grip around his waist tightened.

"I can make him understand. We can work this out, Ichi. Just please don't leave me." he pleaded. Ichigo couldn't handle it. It felt like the world was falling on top of him.

"I'm sorry, Grimm. But I need you to understand how I feel right now. Toushirou said I was his best friend. He looked up to me; he said because of me, he didn't feel alone anymore. And I betrayed him; I betrayed his trust, and so did you. He may forgive you one day, but things will never be the same between you and it's all because of me. It's my fault, so you could never make him understand. It can't work, and we both need to let it go."

Ichigo held onto Grimmjow, finally meeting his eyes again. A woeful smile graced the older man's face, and Ichigo returned it genuinely. Grimmjow would always mean something to him, and he was sure the same could be said for him. Grimmjow was the first man Ichigo had fallen in love with, but the circumstances under which their love had blossomed were erroneous. There was nothing he could do to change what had happened. He didn't regret falling for Grimmjow; he just wished things could have been different.

Grimmjow brought their lips together, a sensual kiss, a final goodbye. Ichigo leaned into him, lost in his embrace. His tongue found its way to Grimmjow's and danced with it heatedly. Ichigo reached up, finding those insanely soft blue locks, twisting and deepening the kiss. When they finally pulled apart, he sported a hefty flush and Grimmjow chuckled in spite of himself.

"I'm going to miss making you blush like that." he said. Ichigo turned away from him. Grimmjow touched his cheek softly, turning the orange head back towards him. He gave Ichigo another short peck on the lips. "I love you, Ichigo."

"I love you too, Grimmjow. You'll always be in my heart."

Five and a half months later...

Ichigo stalked down the stairs of his childhood home, alert for a random attack from his idiot father. After he left the Jaegerjaquez estate, he moved back in with his dad, Isshin, and his two younger sisters, Yuzu and Karin. He didn't trust himself to be alone. He was sure he'd kill himself if he was alone. Grimmjow occupied his every waking thought, and his sleeping ones too. It would be an understatement to say he missed him.

The first week was the hardest. He spent the first day sitting in the shower, his head resting on his knees. He couldn't eat, and if he tried he just threw up. His eyes had bags the size of hammocks under them, because he only slept when he was successful in crying himself to sleep. He never wanted to fall in love again if it meant feeling like this when he lost it.

"GOOD MORNING, ICHIGO!"

He closed his eyes and sighed. Shoving his hands into his pocket, he brought his left foot up, kicking his dad in the chin. Isshin tumbled down the stairs melodramatically and Ichigo stepped over him.

"Why are you so retarded?" he asked no one in particular. He continued into the kitchen and sat down.

"Good morning, Ichi-nii! How are you feeling?" Yuzu asked brightly. Ichigo forced a small smile.

"I'm okay, Yuzu. Thanks." he said, solemnly. The younger girl pursed her lips in a motherly fashion, but didn't say anything. Karin sat across from Ichigo, a bored expression on her face.

"Quit acting like a dickhole, Ichi-nii." she said, nonchalantly. Ichigo scowled.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" he asked, crassly. Karin rolled her eyes taking a bite of her toast and chewing thoughtfully.

"I'm talking about you sulking around the goddamned house all the time. It's fucking annoying, you jerk!" Ichigo jumped at the sudden elevation of her voice. Then he softened his gaze. This was Karin's way of asking if he was okay. He smiled genuinely this time.

"I'm okay, Karin. Stop worrying so much." he said, softly. Karin looked away from him, blushing slightly.

"Idiot. Who said I was worried about you?" Ichigo continued to smile as the phone started to ring in the living room.

"I'll get it!" Yuzu called. She left the kitchen and went into the living room. She came back a minute later. "It's for you, Ichi-nii."

"Who is it?" he asked, skeptically. Only two people had his home number.

"Rukia-chan, of course." Ichigo paled. He did not want to talk to Rukia. She may have been at least three feet shorter than him, but a lot of rage was sealed into that tiny package.

"Tell her I'm not at home." he said, frantically. Yuzu giggled.

"Oh, don't be silly, Ichi-nii. She says she heard you say that anyway, so just come and talk to her." Ichigo sighed and stood. Walking into the living room, he put the phone to his ear expecting to hear immediate screeching.

"Ichigo, why haven't you spoken to me? I'm still your best friend, right? Why didn't you call me, and at least let me know that you hadn't killed yourself? Are you okay?" The soft tone of Rukia's voice made him want to cry, but he was all out of tears. He sighed.

"I'm sorry, Rukia. I just haven't been able to do much of anything since..." Ichigo trailed off. He still couldn't bring himself to talk about what had happened out loud. He was met with silence on the other end. "Rukia?"

"I'm getting in the car right now. I'll be there in ten minutes." Ichigo started sputtering nonsense. "And don't try to persuade me into changing my mind. I'll see you in ten." Ichigo stared at the phone before setting it back on the receiver. He slumped onto the couch and rested his head on the back of it. It was entirely too early in the morning for this shit.

The real reason he hadn't called Rukia was because he was too ashamed. She had warned him that what he was doing was wrong and he hadn't listened. He knew Rukia would never outright say 'I told you so', but she would definitely give him an earful of 'you should have listened to me, you dumbass'. He wouldn't have been able to handle that when his wounds were still so fresh. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to handle it then. Rukia was his best friend, but she could be quite candid about things she didn't approve of and wasn't afraid to voice her opinion. He sighed running a hand over his face then jolted forward when a tiny fist met his abdomen with force and velocity, knocking the wind right out of his lungs.

"You insensitive prick! I thought you were dead!" Rukia yelled. Ichigo gasped for air as Rukia had captured him in a rather impressive headlock. "What the hell is wrong with you, you douche?"

"I'm sorry, you lunatic! Let me go!" Ichigo managed to shout. Rukia released him, smacking him in the back of his head. He rubbed at it and flopped back onto the couch. The small woman stared down at him, violet eyes ablaze, and crossed her arms over her unimpressive bosom. He looked away, gritting his teeth, waiting for another blow.

"Are you really okay, Ichigo?" Rukia asked, softly. Ichigo met her eyes again, noting how much they'd softened. He chewed on his lip as he mulled over the question. He was heartbroken, he felt like an idiot, and his stomach hurt where she'd punched him, but it was a definite yes.

"Yeah. I'm okay, Rukia. I'll be okay." Rukia sat down next to him. She brought her knees up to her chest and leaned on his shoulder.

"You didn't have to go through all that shit, Ichigo. You didn't have to hurt that boy and you didn't have to fall in love with a married man." Ichigo sighed. "But you did. When you think about it, you're the lucky one here. You're still young and entitled to having your idiot moments. The most you're getting from this is a broken heart. That man has to deal with his infidelity for the rest of his life, and so does his son. You should count your blessings, Ichigo."

Ichigo knew she was right. He was the lucky one here.

"Thanks, Rukia. I understand that now." He leaned his head on top of hers. "Guess I'm just gonna be alone forever, huh? I can't seem to do anything right when it comes to this."

Rukia stood from the couch and punched his arm impossibly hard. Ichigo grimaced and picked up the piece of paper she'd tossed on the couch.

"You're such an idiot." she said. Ichigo stared at the paper in disbelief.

"Is this...?" he asked.

"Of course it is, moron. He still loves you, so why don't you grow up and stop being a slut?" With that, Rukia left Ichigo in the living room alone.

He stared at the paper for a while longer before picking up the phone. He hesitated to dial the number. He didn't feel like he deserved to be loved. Especially not by someone like this. Not after all that he'd done. He sighed and dialed the number. He could at least apologize again. He couldn't atone for all the mistakes he'd made, but maybe he could mend a relationship he once had. He sat waiting for the line to pick up.

"Abarai speaking." Renji's deep voice poured over the phone. Ichigo couldn't speak. He'd lost all his nerve. "Hello?"

"Uh, hey, Renji. It's Ichigo." he finally blurted out.

"Hey, Ichi. How are you?"

"I...I'm good."

"Still working for Jaegerjaquez?" Renji asked. Ichigo resisted the urge to sigh. The red head on the other line took his silence as a rejection. "Guess not. So to what do I owe the pleasure of hearing your voice today?"

"I was just...I wanted to...Rukia told me to call you." Ichigo stuttered. Why couldn't he fucking speak right?

"Oh, well, I don't really want to talk to you over the phone." Renji said. Ichigo was taken aback. The fuck was that supposed to mean? "I'd like to see you, Ichigo."

Ichigo felt a little flutter in his chest. There was a time when he liked Renji. But then he'd met Aizen and everything changed. His entire world revolved around the older man and a lot of his relationships, including the one he had with Renji, suffered for it. It seemed Renji was more than willing to try to make things right again. Ichigo figured it was worth the shot. Rukia was right; he wasn't some lovestruck sixteen-year-old anymore. It was time for him to grow up.

"Alright. When do you want to meet?" he asked. There was a pause and then Renji chuckled. "What?"

"Nothing. I'm just happy you're agreeing." Ichigo felt a blush creep up on him. Damn. "How about Saturday? We could go to the beach."

"Okay." Ichigo said. "You can pick me up."

"Alright, it's a date. I'll see you on Saturday, Ichi." Ichigo could hear the smile in Renji's voice and found himself smiling too.

"See you, Renji."

Ichigo laughed before he pushed Renji into the ocean. The fiery redhead sputtered, his hair adhering to his face as Ichigo held his sides from laughter. Renji glared and pulled himself out of the water. Ichigo watched as his gorgeous tattooed physique glistened as water dripped from it. Renji caught him staring and covered his chest with his muscular arms, a mock look of innocence on his face.

"Don't look at me as if I'm a piece of meat on display, Ichi-kun. I just feel all exposed and dirty." he mock-innocently said. Ichigo erupted with laughter once more. He'd forgotten how utterly hilarious Renji was. And how splendidly gorgeous he was too.

"You're ridiculous." Ichigo said.

"I don't know whether to thank you or sock you in the mouth." Renji said, with a chuckle. "C'mon, let's get some food." Ichigo nodded and they headed up the beach. Their hands brushed as they walked and Ichigo felt butterflies in his stomach. He reached for Renji's hand tentatively and took it in his own, weaving their fingers together. Renji looked shocked for a second, and then he smiled.

They walked into a small surf'n'turf restaurant and got a table. Ichigo watched Renji as he scanned the menu. He really was gorgeous now. Sure he was cute in high school, but now that he'd grown into those tattoos, he could only be desribed as sinfully sexy. His personality wasn't lacking either. He really was a great guy, and Ichigo felt like a douche for screwing around with his emotions back then. He'd made mistakes that he couldn't change, and he did a lot of fucked up shit, and here Renji was, still accepting him, flaws and all. He just had to ask.

"Why do you like me?" Renji looked at him as if he was asking him to solve a trigonometry equation. He set his menu down and brought his hand up to his chin in thought.

"That's easy. I like you because you're you." Ichigo cocked his head to the side at the cryptic answer. "Let me explain. I've been in love with you since the day we met. It was your eyes; it was like they were searching my soul and they captivated me, and as I got to know you, everything about you captivated me as well. You always protect the people you love, you don't take shit from anybody, you're practically a genius, and you're fucking gorgeous. I wanted to ask you out, but I was too scared. Then by the time I got the nerve you'd met...him."

Ichigo sighed. Aizen was definitely a sore spot for Renji, mostly because the older man had tried to alienate Ichigo from all of his friends, especially Renji.

"So I watched you date him for two years. I never said anything, but I died a little every day. Then you broke up and you came to my house that night. And even though I knew it was wrong to give in to you when you were in that state of mind and inebriation, I couldn't help myself. It was you. You were there and you wanted me, even if it was only for that night. And it was enough. When I woke up the next morning and you were gone, it didn't bother me at first. I thought you just needed time to think and you'd come back. When you didn't, I was angry. And when days turned into months and months turned into years without so much as a 'thanks for the fuck', I decided I was over you." The waitress came and took their orders. Once she was gone, Ichigo spoke.

"Renji, I'm..."

"Will you let me finish? This is my story, Ichi." Ichigo nodded and Renji continued. "Then I saw you again, after six years at Jaegerjaquez, and it all came rushing back. It only took one look from those big brown eyes and I was yours again, even though I knew you were fucking Grimmjow."

Ichigo hung his head in shame. This was just unfair. How the hell could someone like Renji love someone like him?

"I don't deserve it." he mumbled.

"What are you talking about?" Renji asked. Ichigo blinked as he stared at the table, trying to fight back the tears that were forming in his eyes.

"I don't deserve your love. I don't deserve to be loved by anyone." Ichigo said. He could feel Renji's eyes on him but he didn't look up. "I'm a horrible person and I don't deserve someone like you."

"Yeah, well, I'll be the one to decide that." Renji said, matter-of-factly. Ichigo looked up at him then, and a small smile lit up the inked man's eyes. "Whether or not you deserve me, I mean."

Ichigo shook his head, wiping at his eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie.

"You're a mystery I'll never solve, Renji." he said. Renji laughed, and then sobered as he took Ichigo's hand across the table.

"I know you've been hurt a lot, and that's why you acted the way you did. I'm not saying I want to fix you or change you, but I want to be there for you. I want to hold you and make you smile. You don't have to be as in love with me as I am with you right now, but I want the opportunity to make you love me too. What do you say, Ichi?"

Ichigo sat for a while, just staring at the other man. He couldn't comprehend what was happening to him in that moment. Five and a half months prior to that moment, he was ending a six month affair with a married man. An affair he'd entered knowing about both Grimmjow's wife and his son. He was less than ideal when it came to being honest and trustworthy, but Renji still wanted him. He still loved him and he trusted Ichigo enough to want to be with him. That was more than Ichigo could ever ask for. Looking into Renji's eyes, he smiled genuinely and tightened his grip on his hand.

"I'd like that very much, Renji."

Six Months Later...

Ichigo fidgeted in his seat as he waited for Renji to meet him. They were celebrating their six month anniversary by having dinner at an upscale restaurant. Renji was twenty minutes late, but Ichigo didn't mind since he'd called and said he was on his way. He sighed and toyed with the wrapping on the present he'd gotten for Renji.

At the beginning of their relationship, Ichigo was standoffish mostly because he was afraid of hurting Renji. He still didn't trust himself to not run away, and he didn't want to risk it. Renji, however, was quite persistent. He did everything he could to assure Ichigo that he wasn't afraid of getting hurt because he trusted him. Eventually, Ichigo learned to trust himself and he warmed up to Renji. Their relationship was ideal, especially for Ichigo. He had never felt so loved by his significant other, and it was truly a good feeling.

He jumped when large hands covered his eyes and then he smiled.

"Okay, you're not allowed to look until I say so." he heard Renji's deep voice say. Ichigo nodded and waited with Renji's hands still covering his eyes. "Alright, you can look now."

"Well that would require the removal of your hands from my face." Ichigo said, snarkily. Renji laughed and then took his hands off of Ichigo's face. Ichigo gasped at the size of the box with his gift in it. "You idiot, now mine is gonna be stupid!"

"Just shut up and open it." Renji said, laughing again and taking his seat across from Ichigo. Ichigo opened the box slowly. He almost squealed at what he saw.

It was a puppy. An unbelievably cute black labrador retriever puppy. Around the neck of the puppy was a collar with a tag dangling from it that read Impeccable.

"Oh my God, Ren, he's so awesome!" Ichigo exclaimed, lifting the puppy from the box. Impeccable licked his face enthusiastically. "How the hell did you get him in here?"

"I know the owner." Renji replied with a shrug. "You think Immaculate will like him?"

"Immaculate likes everyone. I love him so much already. Thank you." Ichigo said. He sat Impeccable in his lap, the over excited puppy wiggling around while wagging his tail. "Aw, now my present is so lame." He pushed the small box towards Renji, blushing slightly. Renji took the box and tore the paper.

"It's not lame, Ichi. It's perfect." he said. He pulled the chain from the box and looked at the ring that dangled from it. Inscribed into the silver plating was, I'll love you forever Renji. Renji leaned across the table kissing Ichigo softly. "I love you so much, Ichigo."

"I love you too, Renji." Ichigo said.

Ichigo smiled as he laced his fingers with Renji's. He was impossibly in love with him and to know that he had someone this amazing that he could call his own was incomprehensible. Renji never judged him and still loved and accepted him even when he didn't love himself. He never brought up Ichigo's past; it was as if none of the shitty things he'd done mattered and he had a clean slate with Renji. Ichigo couldn't ask for anything else. He was complete.

He leaned in for another kiss. This one was much deeper, borderline PDA, but he didn't care. He sighed, and as he opened his eyes, a flash of blue crossed his vision for a quick second. Ichigo looked around, thinking he was going insane. But he wasn't.

Standing at the entrance of the dining area, clad in a pristine white suit with a black dress shirt and white tie, hands thrust in his pockets in almost the same manner that they were when Ichigo first met him, was Grimmjow. He hadn't seen or spoken to the man for almost a year, but that didn't mean he never crossed his mind.

Ichigo openly stared at the blue haired man as he spoke to the hostess. He was almost exactly the same. Ichigo didn't really know how to react. Should he say something? Would it be right to? He looked away, turning back to Renji who was scanning the menu completely oblivious to Ichigo's current situation. Ichigo didn't really know how he felt about seeing Grimmjow again. The older man still had a place in his heart, but whether he was still in love with him was debatable. No, actually it wasn't. There was nothing debatable about it.

He wasn't in love with Grimmjow anymore. Sure he was the first man Ichigo had ever fallen in love with, but the nature of their relationship was all wrong, and Ichigo understood that now more than before. If anything, he felt gratitude to Grimmjow, because his situation with him had helped him get on the right track. He also felt sorry for the older man, because of what had happened with Toushirou. He wondered how the boy was doing, but he knew there was no need of pursuing it. That chapter of his life was already over, and he had already moved on.

He looked back at Renji who was now looking at him, furrowing his tattooed eyebrows in confusion.

"What were you staring at, Ichi?" he asked. Ichigo looked back at the entrance, but the blue-haired man was gone. He sighed and gave his attention back to his boyfriend.

"Nothing, Ren. Just a moment of nostalgia." he replied. He absently stroked the fur of his still excited puppy as he lovingly looked into Renji's eyes. "I really, really love you, Renji."

Renji smiled and kissed him once more.

"I really, really love you too, Ichigo."

So, that's the end of Les Infidèles...I really enjoyed writing this, although I went through a lot trying to convey my message in the best way possible...I hope everyone understands why I chose to write it this way, and I hope you all like it...please review if you do, and tell me what you think...it will make me immensely happy and I'd really appreciate it...thanks to my wonderful Grimm-chan for editing...I luhh yhu:)...

Thanks so much for all the reviews, follows and favorites...it really helped me get through writing this...anyway, thanks for reading:)

Patd06

*P.s: 'Ne me quitte pas' translates to 'do not leave me'...*

*P.p.s: For the alternate ending, click next:)*