Juusan looked herself in the mirror. She wasn't proud of what happened at the lobby, at all. It was a miracle she managed to move her legs that felt like jelly at that moment and flee from the embarrassing situation. Shiroyama Yuu, himself talked to her. He whispered in her ear. She shivered as she replayed the moment in her head.

'Why did you have to act like that. Now he must think you are a complete idiot. My god, you really can't do ANYTHING right!' the voice in her head said mockingly. She frowned as some more tears found their way out of her bottom lids. She couldn't even look him in the eyes. She only managed that for a quick moment when she turned around to face him. She managed to capture his eyes that were full of surprise.

''Right,'' she said, her voice only a whisper. ''I whispered his name, he heard it. No wonder he was surprised. He must think i am a weird stalker then, not just an idiot.''

She bit her bottom lip angrily. It bled. She had never dreamt of meeting Aoi under this kind of circumstances. In her dreams everything about this moment were...well, anything was better than this moment. Not this. Sometimes she hated being a fangirl. She hated in general getting really excited about stuff. Stuff that could cause her any kind of emotion.

She blinked to clear the blury vision of her eyes. It was a good thing she didn't wear any make up or so, the tears would have made her face messier than it was already. She couldn't even apply the liquid eyeliner neatly on her eyes since she was too anxious from meeting An Cafe, so she simply gave up trying.

'Fucking hell, the band!' she thought with her red puffy eyes opened widely.

'The make up assistant,' the little voice in her haid whispered. With that, she stormed out of the bathroom.

She also realised that she had forgotten her cosmetic bag on the couch where she was sitting earlier. If the make up assistant was already there waiting for Juusan, she might got into trouble for missing when she was supposed to meet the band.

Making her way to the lobby, she tried to keep a low profile among the people that where already in the halls, but of course she didn't manage it.

After pushing a lot of people out of the way, she finally made it to the lobby. Approaching the couch, Juusan nervously glanced around the room to see if the chief lady or anyone else who seemed pissed was around looking for her. Frankly, no one was there and with a sigh of relief she took a step forward to reach her cosmetic bag that was left forgotten on the floor. She noticed though that it was open. Taking this step forward, Jussan stepped on something. That something let out a painful exclamation. She looked down and saw that she had stepped on Kanon's foot. He was kneeled down snooping around her cosmetic bag. His eyes staring right back at hers.

She jumped back from the horror that she had stepped on the bassist of An Cafe and even though, he was the one who was caught red-handed, Juusan took a deep bow and apologised loudly for stepping on him. She felt her cheeks burning. Second embarrassing situation of the day, she was so lucky this morning...

Juusan heard Kanon laughing. She raised her head and looked at him. He looked really friendly and not at all mad. She smiled nervously at him trying to seem as cool as she could.

''You are Juusan right?'' the thin bassist asked the embarrassed girl in front of him.

The fangirl inside her screamed from happiness that he knew who she was. It was nice hearing her name coming out of someone's famous' mouth. ''Yes that's me,'' she replied smiling widely now. She didn't help but notice though, that Kanon was holding an eyeliner on his hand, that probably came from her bag. He noticed that and handed it back to her.

''I'm really sorry about that. I wanted to look pretty before you came,'' he smiled innocently at Juusan who immediately looked away blushing like crazy. She didn't want to say anything stupid though because it would be lame to bring herself in a more awkward situation than this,

and the one before this,

so she simply nodded to the spiked-hair man in front of her, that it was ok. The fangirl inside her was still screaming restless while Juusan kept on avoiding the eye-contact with him, just in case Kanon could see what was going on inside her head.

''So are you ready to meet the rest of the band?'' Kanon's voice made her look at him. A smile was still formed on his lips.

''Yes but where is the make up assistant?'' she asked. It seemed like his smile was slowly making her more comfortable because there would be no other way to ask that directly.

''Sahana-chan called in sick about fifteen minutes ago so, i came myself to lead you to our dressing room. You will meet everyone and then you and me are going to discuss about some make up concept ideas i want your advice on.'' Kanon grinned. He motioned for her to follow him as he started moving between some groups of people that had been formed, probably when they were talking.

Juusan grabbed the cosmetic back quickly and followed him trying not to lose him from her eyes. Kanon was walking pretty fast and it was hard for her to keep up with him. She hadn't even managed to put the eyeliner Kanon handed her back, in her bag.

''Has something upseted you? Your eyes were red,'' she heard him asking.

''Nope,'' she smiled nervously. ''I just got really anxious since it's my first time working with japanese bands and i couldn't help it.'' She looked at Kanon with the corner of her eye and saw him looking straight ahead. She couldn't tell if he believed her or not. She had to lie though. It would be really awkward to say that she actually cried over a guitarist.

Suddenly, Kanon turned and smiled at Juusan, patting her back lightly. ''Then do your best with our band, Juu, we are counting on you,'' he said as they finally reached the band's dressing room.

Juusan got back at her apartment around seven. Everything with the band went great. All of them were friendly and greeted her joyfully. Miku even offered her sake after she was done talking with Kanon about his concept ideas. She was going to work mostly with him.

Even though she didn't enjoy drinking that much, sake tasted good while she was smoking. Plus she didn't want to deny Miku's sake treat. What she achieved from getting carried away was to get tipsy. 'How unprofessional' she thought as she started undressing lazily leaving trail of clothes as she slowly reached her bedroom.. Even though Juusan was pretty much sure that everyone was in the same condition as her she hoped that no one of them noticed her and her talkative side. She almost spilled out that she had an encounter with Aoi.

''Why did i have to meet you this way?'' Juusan asked the oldest of the five men in the poster as she lied on her bed.

''I must be the most unlucky girl ever. Making a fool of myself in front of you. I've decided thought!'' she said and jumped off her bed approaching the poster. ''I won't let myself get any more silly around you if i ever see you again Shiroyama'' she said determingly to the poster poking Aoi's paper-tummy.

Juusan scratched her head and chuckled. ''Why am i even talking to the poster?'' She sighed and turned her back to the poster. She grabbed her bag searching for her cigarettes and the lighter.

'Only five cigarettes left? I can't even be bothered to go buy another pack.'

Juusan rolled her eyes as she decided to deal with the laziness she was feeling and go buy cigarettes tomorrow before going at the same building as today. She lit a cigarette and opened the stereo. The CD from The Gazette's album DIM started playing.

As the intro was playing, she left the cigarette to the ashtray and wore her pyjamas.

As the intro was over, Juusan raised the volume more. It was time of her favorite song. She took her cigarette and put it on her mouth smiling slightly as the song began, the guitar noise filling the dull room and Ruki's voice started filling the melodic sounds.

Pig is that soaked in soup of crime

Is it a pain of the children whom you murdered

Hate yourself

She took a strong puff. Ruki was there with Aoi too. If he hadn't come, she wouldn't have been able to leave. She was so greatfull, even though he didn't help her on purpose. Ruki was as surprised as Aoi, she took a glimpse of them before she practicaly crawled between other people's legs in order to hide.

Sorrow made you

Sorrow made you

Sorrow made you

Tsugunai tsuzuke and die.

''Definitely not what i have dreamt of,'' she whispered to herself as she looked at her poster.

The next day, the sun woke her up. Juusan blinked a couple of times and stretched her numb body. That helped her wake her brain up. As she got up, she dragged herself to the bathroom. After washing her face and lighting the last cigarette of the pack, she started picking up yesterday's trail of clothes mumbling to herself how lazy she was. Going into the kitchen, to drink a glass of milk, she glanced the clock on the wall. It was still eight. She was supposed to meet with Kanon and the rest of the band at eleven.

Taking a sip of the cold refreshing glass of milk and then a puff of her morning cigarette, Juusan decided that in order to fully wake up was to actually listen to some Gazette music. Yesterday's album started playing again, the volume as high as the previous night and probably even more. Juusan stood there enjoying every note. She didn't know much about music but this kind of sound always brought some kind of plesure to her. She looked around wondering how lucky she was that the neighbours hadn't made any copmlaints yet.

Suddenly, she heard a knock on her door.

''There goes my luck!'' she said rolling her eyes.

The knocking was continuous. Gentle but yet loud enough to be heard over the loud music coming out of her stereo. She let the glass of milk next to her stereo, the cigarette still burning between her fingers. She reached her apartment's doorknob ready to turn it and opening the door ready to apologise for the noise and ready to be as polite as possible since she really didn't want to have any trouble with anyone here.

She took a strong puff from her cigarette prepared for the worst kind of yelling. What the closed door revealed behind it though, caused Juusan to let her jaw drop open.

''Holy shit,'' she said as the smoke she inhaled earlier left her mouth.

Those big brown eyes were staring right in hers with as much surprise as the blue eyes were staring right back at his.

''Holy shit indeed,'' Juusan heard him whispering as she saw a smirk forming on his lips.