A special guest star from my story, "Your Guardian Angel" makes a one time appearance here! She belongs to the author AuntMo!

"If I could hold back the rain, would you numb the pain? 'Cause I remember everything." - Five Finger Death Punch

An angel perk, or a demon perk... or a hybrid perk in my case, is that sleep isn't needed. When I'm incredibly stressed out or sick, I sleep. Other than that, I stay awake for days. I slept all of last night. Combining my powers with my baby Leay wiped me out. She was knocked too; she slept the entire night.

The next morning I wake up actually yawning. I'm alone in the bed. I turn my entire body left and check my nightstand, quickly overlooking my framed group photo from Dick Roman's masquerade. From left to right was Megan (way before she became Emma) Colby, Jasper (Gabriel's oldest son), Jamie (Michael!) and myself. Michelle Obama took that photo, believe it or not.

I reach for my iPhone to check the time before I get up to get dressed, walking all over my purple carpeted room to get my outfit together. I went with a black tank top and blue jeans. I throw my hair up in a ponytail before heading downstairs.

"Ma!" Four year old Clifton Castiel Winchester greets me. "I got to tell you something!"

"What is it, Son?" I replied, watching Juliet giggle at him.

"Wait until you hear this." My lovely Murdock let up.

"I know what my future wife looks like!" Clifton continued.

"Oh, really? What does she look like?" I asked.

He widened his amber colored eyes as he spoke quickly. "She's taller than you and she's got red hair and green eyes and-"

I had no problem interrupting him. "Son, you are not marrying Emma!"

"YES I AM!" He yelled angrily. "I'm marrying her! She's going to stay home and take care of the kids and I'm going to work!"

I fucking lost it. Literally dropped to the floor laughing.

Clifton stomped into the kitchen to pout. Murdock sat on the floor where Leay was laying on her stomach, on a small mat with a little mirror at the top by her head, so she could see herself. Murdock bought that thing last night and claimed it was supposed to help her learn how to start holding her head up. I pointed out that with the mirror, she's just going to want to stare at herself, which I heard is good to let babies do that once in a while.

My mom, Lindsay, was the one who told me that so very long ago.

What I had said proved right. Leay was indeed staring at herself while trying to eat her hand that was under her face against the mirror. Murdock leaned in close to her. I could see their matching grey eyes together. "Hey!" He said to her. "You're supposed to be lifting that head up, not staring at yourself, young lady! What are you doing?"

Our two month old daughter lets out a small coo, and continues her thing.

I cleared my throat. Murdock turns to me and says, "Don't you dare say I told you so. She'll get it!"

A text message from Sam tells me that he's trying his best to track Lucifer. To try and find him. As I'm replying him, or trying to... the iPhone thing I have is so small, the keyboard (Emma said, "It's a keypad Lynn, get with the times) is even tinier and hard for me to punch the letters in. "Get a new iPhone Lynn," Emma freaking said. "They've came out with newer and bigger ones, you know."

I guess I could. Emma says I currently have an iPhone 4S, and the newest one out now is called an iPhone 6. Or, she said I can wait about another week or two for the release of an iPhone 6S.

I'm cool with waiting.

A little FIY. I'm horrible with technology. Computers, phones, Bookface, all that stuff. Damon told me he has a photo of me on Instagram, and I just shrugged. What the hell is Instagram?

"Mom?" Juliet calls out from the kitchen. "Can I go out on a walk with Lucky?"

"Why are you asking?" I half yelled.

"Oh, yeah, yeah! Right! I'm going outside!"

Lucky lets out a bark.

I finally finish my reply text to Sam and send it. He sent an immediate reply before I could even put my device down. How do people type that damn fast?

Leay starts getting irritated and fussy, so Murdock heads into the kitchen to make her a bottle. Normally at this point I would go over and pick her up to reduce her crying until she gets her bottle.

It's good for babies to just cry sometimes. Good for their lungs. Mom had told me. You on the other hand, hardly ever cried. Or slept. No one's ever heard of a baby with insomnia.

Mom...

"Murdock?" I called out.

"Yeah?" He replied, walking back out, shaking the bottle. He gets Leay up and sits with her on the sofa, giving her the eagerly awaited bottle.

"What was your mom like? Lecta." I asked him. "What do you remember?"

"She was very caring," he described. "Dad was rash sometimes but she was always calm about everything. They were both equal in their power. Why are you asking? What was Lindsay like?"

Clifton emerges from the play room with his Iron Man and Captain America action figures. "Catch Loki!" He yelled, throwing the figures halfway across the room. He dashes back into the play room and returns holding Thor. "No! He's my brother!" He yelled next and threw Thor at the other two.

I giggled. "Anyway... Lindsay was... shy. She laughed a lot. Dad brought the best out of her. She..." I was now staring at Leay as she suckled on her bottle.

Murdock seemed to understand. "She'd be happy to have someone named after her? My mom would too." He gently cuddled his daughter as she was now halfway through her bottle. Yes... Leay is named after her grandmothers. The L-E comes from Lecta, and the A-Y comes from Lindsay.

Clifton, you ask? Honestly... I named him after Clifton Collins Jr.

"Ma, why are you crying?"

I sniffled, wiping a tear from my eye. "I miss my mom so much. She was just... taken away from me, and I wasn't even there. I left my family alone and helpless. I left them vulnerable for Lucifer..."

How could I have blocked out that thought? He killed my mom, dad, and brother. He killed Ellen and Jo. He... he...

Clifton was hugging me now as I sobbed. "I hate him!"

"Ma," my son comforted. "Go get them back."

"H-huh?" I asked, as Leay started fussing from my crying. It was probably scaring her.

"Uncle Dean got Benny back." Clifton clarified.

I stared. Thinking. Dean, Cas and Jackson were in Purgatory for a year. By using a spell... Dean brought Benny the vampire back with him. Mom was a witch, so was my brother... doesn't that mean they're really in Purgatory?

"It's a big place," I spoke. "How would I find them? Where would I even begin?"

"See Benny!" Cliffy remarked. "He can help!"

"How would I even find him-?" I wondered. "I-I..." I'm panicking. "I can bring my mom back! I can bring JD back! Murdock what-what about your parents? Don't you want to see them again?!"

He appears sad. "It doesn't work like that in the Cult of Merlin. When a warlock dies, their body and their life force is dead. The Cult keeps their soul - or essence. They don't want all that power gone to waste."

"That's... awful..." I moped.

He shrugged. "I stopped thinking about it a long time ago."

I gulped. "I've got to try to find my mom. I need to find a reaper. They can get me into Purgatory and back."

"I want to go!" Clifton begged. "See Benny! I want to meet Grandma and Uncle Jasper!"

"If you stop talking like a baby, maybe you can go." I decided.

"Jasper-?" Murdock repeated. "Like your cousin?"

"Yeah, they have the same name," I said. "That's why I call my brother JD."

"That makes sense," Murdock started burping Leay. "How are you going to find a reaper?"

Since Cliffy brought up Benny, it made me think of my other friend Ben - and an idea on how to snag a reaper.

My hometown of Pike Creek, Delaware is smaller than most cities. At most there are probably about 8,000 people living here. Word travels pretty fast and almost everyone knows each other. When Lyra was trying to hunt me down per orders of her father Gabriel, she'd heard many people talking about my 'mysterious' disappearance and the deaths of my parents shortly after, and then JD's death later on.

A lot of people think I did it. But there were those who believed me and stuck to me. My two best friends since childhood, Adelina (Alice) and Tim. They never gave up on me.

Thanks to Amara. The Darkness. Chuck's sister. They're both dead.

"Ma, visit them like you did your dad?" My son suggests.

I look down at my smart little cookie as he holds my hand tightly. "I'll think about it. They probably hate me. I've gotten a lot of people hurt or killed."

We stroll into the library, where another old (and living) friend of mine still works. "Well, well..." I heard a familiar voice speak. "If it isn't Lynn Logan!"

"I told you Ben, it's Lynn Winchester," I corrected. "Lynn Logan died a long time ago."

"Are you sure? Because to me all I see right now is Lynn Logan," the voice of twenty-five year old Benjamin Burke remarked. "You still haven't married that magician yet? You can always marry me. Mrs. Lynn Burke sounds like a great name."

Clifton looks very confused. "Hi Ben!" He decided to perk up and wave.

"What's up Little Ben!" Ben waved.

"It's Clifton!" My four year old corrected.

"That's not what your mother was going to name you at first." Ben smirked.

I rolled my eyes. "I need to talk to you. Somewhere private."

"Oh man," Ben gaped. "I can't wait to hear this!" He gets up from his desk and follows us back outside and around the building to the back. "Okay, what's up?"

"I need to kill you." I bluntly admitted.

He laughed. "You sound like my mom before they locked her into the nut house."

I sighed. I love Ben, and I never wanted him to know what I really am. Now I have no choice. "Stand back, Son." I ordered. He trots over and stands next to Ben. I slightly spread my legs apart to lengthen my stance and I clench my fists, focusing on my power. I haven't revealed my wings in... years. I'll never understand why there's always a random flash of lightning and a bang of thunder to follow, and any nearby streetlights get blown out.

Ben looked like he crapped himself. "The fuck-!"

"I'm half angel, half demon." I told him when everything subsided. "Now, I need your help. Will you listen?"

"I am a little freaked out," Ben admitted, looking down at Cliffy. "Are you like that too, Little Ben?"

"Yeah!" He squealed. "I'm strong!"

Ben gulped and looked back up at me. "What do you need my help with?"

I took a big pause. "I need to kill you."

He immediately laughed. "What, now?"

"I can bring you right back," I promised. "I need to find a reaper, and the quickest way I can think to find one is to kill a human and wait for a reaper to come take your soul to Heaven, stop them and get them to do what I need them to do."

"...you're serious, aren't you?" Ben nearly choked.

I nodded.

He looks at Cliffy again, who smiled at him. "It's okay, Big Ben."

"Well... alright," Ben decided. "You promise to bring me back to life?"

"Yes." I nodded again.

"Okay, then do what-"

I snapped my fingers during his mid-sentence and in an essence, snapped his neck. Clifton flinched lightly as he dropped to the ground. I look around to make sure no one saw - thankfully no one did.

"I wonder how long we'll-" I started, but stopped when I saw someone new appear. She was much taller than me with long, bright auburn hair and green eyes nearly as bright as my own. Even a few freckles.

It was crazy. She had about all the same features and details as Emma, but they look nothing alike.

Regardless, Clifton went to work. "I like your hair!"

The girl blinked in confusion. "Thanks-?"

I held my hand up. "You're a reaper?"

Now she looked kind of sad. "Unfortunately, yes."

"I can't let you reap him, but I need to ask you something." I admitted, kneeling down and grasping Ben's shoulder. He gasped deeply for air and nearly jumped up when he came back. Then he was coughing.

"What the hell?!" He screeched.

"What's going on?" The red haired reaper demanded.

"What's your name?" I asked her, helping Ben stand up.

"Abby," she introduced. "And you are?"

"Lynn Winchester," I named. "And this is my child prodigy, Clifton."

"I like your hair." He said all woo like. I rolled my eyes.

"I've heard of you," Abby admitted. "You... you own Shadowmere, now."

I scratch the back of my neck. "Yeah, I guess so." Shadowmere is some kind of underworld demonic horse that Death passed on to me before he died. "Anyway," I shrugged. "I need you to take us to Purgatory."

"Purgatory-?" Abby spat back.

"Yeah," I answered. "I know you can take us there and I know you can bring us back."

She gulped. "Are you sure?"

I quote Juliet. "Yeah, yeah!"

Cliffy trembles when we enter Purgatory. It's always dark here. Dark and gray. Hard to believe Dean, Cas and Jackson spent a year here surviving. It's even harder to think that Mom and JD have spent seven years here... if they're still okay.

"Is there a specific reason you needed to get here?" Abby asked me, carefully looking around.

"Do you happen to know where I can find witches?" I countered with my own question.

"Um... I think they stay together." Abby answered.

"Ma," Cliffy spoke. "What's that?" He points his little finger towards something glowing in the near distance.

"That's the portal to get back to Earth," I told him. "Only humans can go through it."

Now he looked alarmed, looking up at Abby with pleading eyes. "Don't leave us here."

"I won't." She promised.

"Why are you so nice?" I raised an eyebrow at her.

"Because my momma raised me right." Abby answered.

"You have a mom?" I nearly choked.

"Yes. She's still around, I think."

"Hey there!"

The three of us turned around to see the one and only Benny the vampire. He still wore that hat that hid his baby blue eyes. "Benny!" Cliffy shrieked in excitement, immediately running over.

"Do you hang around here or something?" I half laughed at him.

"Sometimes," Benny answered. "That portal is a popular monster tourist attraction."

"I missed you Benny." Cliffy continued, hugging his leg.

"I missed you too, man." Benny replied. "What are you guys doing here?"

"Do you know where the witches are at?" I asked him.

"Yeah. They don't stay too far from the portal. They keep trying to create a spell that will let anything through the human portal." Benny explained.

I gulped. "Here's hoping they never figure that out."

"It's this way." Benny ushered us to follow him.

"Thanks," I said, as we began our trek through Purgatory. "I'm here to find my mom and brother and get them back to Earth."

"Fair," Benny said. "If you keep walking through the trees, you'll see them."

"Thanks, Benny." I pat him on the shoulder.

He nodded and looked down at Cliffy. "You tell Dean I said hey, alright?"

My son grinned his Dean-inherited smile. "I will!"

Benny went off, chasing after some snarls we heard. I made us double time through the trees until we reached a clearing, where a pack of witches glared at us. "Not a step further." They warned us.

"Easy," I urged them. "We're here to find my mom and brother. They're witches. Their names are Lindsay Logan and Jasper Logan."

The witches looked at each other. "Are you Lynn?"

"Yes."

"Lindsay has spoken of you," the witches admitted. "She saw you when the Mother forced her to resurface up there under her control."

"She-she's here?" I choked up. "She's okay-?"

"Walk on through. You will find her."

I grabbed Clifton in the blink of an eye and ran as fast as I could. Past the witches, past more and more witches. "You know what she looks like, right?" I ask my son. "You've seen her in my memories? Help me find her."

"Yeah!" Cliffy yelped, eagerly looking around with wide amber eyes as we walked all around.

"Mom?" I called out, half frantic. "Mom?"

"There!" Cliffy squealed, pointing dead ahead. I darted my eyes and resisted the tears. There she was. Mom. Sitting against a tree. Her long, sunny blonde hair ensnarled in twigs, dirt, and grease. Her bright brown eyes were dark, depressed... lost.

I set my son down and stood there, frozen. Meanwhile Cliffy dashed towards her, brave as always. "Hi!"

Mom barely lifts her head up to see the little four year old with messy shadow hair and a tan. "You're my grandma!" He remarked. Mom didn't react too much, but I did see slight confusion cross her eyes. "That's my ma!" He turns to point right at me. Mom looks past him - right at me.

I swallowed. "Mom..." I let out. Recognition hit her instantly as her eyes widened and she forced herself to stand up. I finally approach her, going, "Let's go home. I'm going to get you out of here."

She was only able to say one word. "Okay."

"Is JD here?"

She shook her head. What? So where the hell was he?

"We'll find him." I decided. I pull out an angel blade and make a cut below my wrist, then I hand the blade to Mom. Her pale face looks vaguely terrified before she copies me. I grab her cut arm and she clenches mine. "Conjuncti sumus, Unum sumus." I chanted. Slowly but surely, Mom faded into red mist and dust, seeping into my cut.

Some of the witches were in awe, and I was afraid they were all going to try to hitch a ride too, so I took Clifton's hand and escorted us back to Abby. "Get us out of here."

"You got it." She grabbed my other wrist.

"Thanks for your help." I admitted. "You should go see your mom, if she's still around."

She smiled faintly. "Lynny, you're too nice to die."

I raised an eye in pure confusion. "Lynny? What are you-?"

We were back on Earth before that conversation could continue.