There is officially a new feature of the DR. At any point, one cat may set the lock on the DR door so that a certain other cat is unable to get in. Ok, that's all I got to say.

Jayfeather, Sol, Blossomkit, Bluestar, Lionblaze and Oakheart are sitting in the DR. Oh, and there is one strange mystery cat who is wearing a face mask. The only thing distinguishable is her black pelt…

The Mystery Cat broke the silence. "Muaha. Muahaha. HAHAHAHA!!!" And she began to foam at the mouth…

Jayfeather paced across the room and looked her in the eye (yes, he can see in the DR… sometimes). He considered the insanity that she had just displayed. He smirked. "Let me guess... Hollyleaf?"

The black she-cat stuck her tongue out at him. "Aw, how'd u guess? My disguise is so clever!"

"But your mentally unstable aura is extremely difficult to ignore," Jayfeather sniffed.

"Hey, don't make fun of my sweetie paws!!" Sol protested. Everyone laughed.

"Where did SolXHollyleaf come from???"

Hollyleaf growled. "He's the only one who understands me!"

"Whatever," Jayfeather spat. "Take off the mask, Hollyleaf."

"No. It makes me feel mysterious…"

Everyone cackled with laughter. Whatever respect they had had for Hollyleaf evaporated. Sol wailed, "Nooo!!! Holly, baby, this'll totally ruin our plans to destroy the clans!! (no rhyme intended...)"

Blossomkit gasped. Sol was speaking her language! "Oh, Sol! Suddenly you're a lot more attractive!!" And she swooned.

Sol edged away from her. "Umm, u r a little bit young for me..."

Blossomkit got to her paws. "Dang it everyone says that!!! Tigerstar, Hawkfrost, Firestar, even the Stick of Destiny!!!"

Bluestar cracked up. "You hit on the Stick of Destiny???!!"

The Magical Stick rolled into the Discussion Room.

"Hey, leave me out of this. I'm still crushing on Jayfeather!!"

"Eew." Jayfeather grimaced. Where was this stick's mouth, anyway?

Bluestar rolled her eyes. "Well I will always be in love with OAKHEART!!"

Oakheart twined his tail in hers. "Aww, that's my sweetie pussy paws!!"

"Let's go back to StarClan, lovey munchkin!!" And they ascended while a chorus of angels sang…

The stick spoke again, which was endlessly creepy. "I love you, Jayfeather!"

Rock, the bulgy-eyed ancient guy, burst in.

"Hey! The stick was mine first!!!"

"You can have it," Jayfeather muttered, thoroughly spooked.

The Stick of Destiny backed away from Rock. "Uh-uh. No way am i going back down into the tunnels!!!!"

Rock sniffled. "Humph! Why does everyone always say that?!?!"

Jayfeather stepped forward. "Umm, because the tunnels bring certain death and eternal wandering to all who dare to enter???"

Rock rolled his sightless eyes. "Well when u put it that way... it sounds pretty bad."

Blossomkit stomped her foot, drawing attention to herself yet again. "This stinks," she complained. "Now I have no allies to destroy the clans!!!
Sol and Hollyleaf have rejected me!"

"Oh, darn it," Jayfeather meowed sarcastically.

He locked Blossomkit out of the DR.

Lionblaze smirked. "Phew she was a huge pain!!" Up until now he had been sitting on one of the wooden ledges, listening to the others argue.

Heathertail, who had been crouching in a corner, realized that her past love was present. She yowled, "LIONBLAZE WHEN I GET MY CLAWS ON YOU I'M GOING TO—"

Lionblaze acted fast, shoving his harasser out of the door. He locked her out.

He let out a breath. "Thank StarClan for the lock."

"You can't run from your problems like that! You have to face them!" Jayfeather scolded.

Lionblaze took a step back. "I think you're spending too much time with Ferncloud."

Jayfeather said, "Can I help it if I need therapy???"

He locked Lionblaze out.

Firestar entered, pushing his way past a clawing, yowling Lionblaze. He regarded his grandson with disapproval. "Jayfeather, stop blocking people!"

Onestar flew into the DR just as the door was about to shut behind Firestar. His lithe WindClan body allowed him to make it with inches to spare. Everyone jumped with surprise as he landed in front of Firestar.

"Onestar!" Firestar gasped, forgetting about Jayfeather's problem. Jayfeather was considering locking Onestar out…

The WindClan leader snarled, "I hate u, Firestar. I used 2 like u, but then I became all independent and bitter and now I HATE U!!"

Firestar padded away from the bristling cat. He seemed very unconcerned. "Hey no complaints here. Onestar is a stupid name."

So ends another weird chapter. :) Any ideas as to what the next serious one should be?