A/N: I'll apologize in advance for stringing the plot along (haha, plot), since some things are ending up more secretive than I expected them to be. And still trying to figure out how dark I want this to be. ^^'
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97 ASC (Sokka)
Autumn
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Lucid dreams, Sokka discovers, are entirely worse than half-remembered ones, because he sees and hears and knows all of it was true, but can't do a damned thing to change it.
Worse, they give him headaches.
Something about having two trains of thoughts running parallel, what-I-was-thinking-then and what-I'm-thinking-now leaves the world phasing double long after he's woken, a bitter taste at the back of his throat which has Sokka realizing that he hates dramatic irony. It's probably worse than cactus juice.
He blames Toph, and not just because she'd probably be entirely too unsympathetic about his plight if he told her, but because it only really begins once she arrives. His subconscious gleefully latches on to her presence as some sort of catalyst for even more vivid memories, which has got to be the most unorthodox form of bullying he's ever received from her.
It always starts the same, falling into sleep and falling into dreams, like he's diving with the water too cold crashing over him –
– and suddenly he's yanking Zuko to the side, shouting, "Gawd, can't you warn a guy before pulling any death-defying stunts? Like, just a five minute notice would be positively charming!" and Zuko is growling back, "I'm not trying to charm you," like that's important part of the throwing-yourself-into-situations-which-are-more-likely-than-not-going-to-get-you-killed-is-a-Very-Bad-Idea lecture. Rant. Whatever. The Western Air Temple is getting blown into shrapnel around them and Sokka is thinking Zuko is an idiot.
A kind of exasperatingly affection-inducing idiot who's entirely too set on fixing the problems of the world by himself (yeah, like that worked the last three times he tried), but, well… okay, there's really no but. That's really just it. Zuko's an idiot and Sokka wishes Zuko would tell him things so he could help keep the other boy safe. Or at the very least join him on his suicidal missions. That's what friends are for, or whatever they are.
(He's not even sure now what they were, let alone what they are, never liked labels or brands because they were restricting without really saying anything worthwhile - they were important to each other, that was it, wasn't that enough?)
"Listen, when you joined up with us, there was a contract. Pact. Covenant. What have you." He crashes to the ground to avoid a sudden bolt of lightning, hauling Zuko over with him so the other boy doesn't go skittering over the edge of the cliff like his unfortunate dao swords had. Zuko's still not breathing entirely right and reacting more slowly than usual, and Sokka's not worried, he's just fearing for his life. Both of them.
(Not that it helped and not that he expected it would, they'll die within the month anyway, he always measures his memories by the distance until they fail.)
"It says," Sokka huffs breathlessly, "that you do not go throwing yourself around as bait at people who are trying to kill you. Especially when those people are your sister, because she's kind of scarily good at what she does."
"I wasn't planning for you to stay behind too!" Zuko barks, tugging him out of the way of an incoming fireball. Azula must have lost them in the smoke, or can't get close enough on the air balloon to spot them, because her most recent assault has been pretty scatter-shot. It almost seems like she's just decided to go ahead and blow up the entire temple and be done with it, even though that doesn't seem entirely her style. Sokka has always pegged her more as the sort of person to want to see them killed in front of her own eyes, to make sure they were really dead, and she'd want to do it herself.
(At least she only killed one of them at the end, that was a good thing, wasn't it? No, not really, he's not very good at being an optimist.)
Sokka's about to retort: That's your problem, you don't plan. That's why I have to stick around you and be your plan guy. – or something mushy to that effect, since Zuko's the type of person who needs to hear those sort of things or else he'll forget, but that's when the roof caves in on them. Sokka makes a mental note to tell Zuko later, filed along with similarly important mental notes to do some more aerial battle drills with Appa and to lightning-proof his clothing. Right now, he's a bit distracted with staying alive.
(In the end Sokka forgets to tell him.)
They spend a night at the Southern Water Tribe before boarding onto Toph's ship and setting sail for the Earth Kingdom. Aang protests that they should just ride on Appa, it'll be quicker, but Toph pats the furry creature's head and shakes her head.
"Sorry Appa, but I prefer metal."
Besides, it's not speed they want but a destination. And depending on who's steering they might just get lost.
Appa ends up being stuffed into the hull of the ship but he doesn't seem to mind entirely. The endless bales of hay lining the interior might have something to do with that, and Sokka scowls when he realizes Toph must have thought ahead. He's supposed to be the plan guy, even if his plans hadn't really been working out. In his defense, he didn't have sufficient intel to be working with.
Gran-gran doesn't entirely approve of the entire venture but apparently thirteen is a much more acceptable age to save the world (or help a friend) than eleven, so she sends them off with packs full of sleeping bags and medicines and food supplies even though they're boarding a merchant ship and will be traveling with a merchant's daughter. Which, you know, kind of makes getting supplies easy.
Katara and Aang are going mostly because Sokka himself is going, but he thinks they also have their own little wishes in mind. Katara wants to go to the North Pole, where she'll be able to talk to someone who actually does know waterbending (and she never says it explicitly but sometimes he catches her gazing at the spot where their father's seacraft disappeared over the horizon). Aang wants to go to the rest of the air temples without having to go alone. And they both love adventure, in their own special ways, and they haven't yet learned to hate the war. Katara still wakes up at night with mother's burnt corpse in her eyes but she hasn't had to replace their mother's face with others'.
Momo chitters and hops onto Aang's shoulder as they board the ship, as if protesting that he won't get left behind. Not another time, at least.
They're all a bit curious about this girl who's come from practically nowhere, but Aang pretty much did the same thing so he's no right to protest. Katara's gotten used to going along with Sokka's, ah, call them instincts, even if this has got to be the most potentially life changing one yet. Bar Aang.
And they're family. This is the sort of things family does for each other. It doesn't have to end the same way as last time.
"It'd be easier," Toph scowls as her crew flurries about them preparing to depart, "if Sparky would stay in one place." Her tone implies that there is a prolonged detention in stone shackles awaiting Zuko's future, and her expression is the one that all females in Sokka's life have, which means it'd be best to just shut up and listen. It beats being knocked unconscious. Again.
"And it doesn't help that the world is still stupidly ignorant about anything approaching the Fire Nation mainland. Ask about the Fire Nation prince and you'll get blank looks most of the time. The best I can tell, he's wandering the coast with Princess Sparkles."
And that's definitely not on Sokka's list of top hundred or hundred thousand reunions to have, though it apparently isn't much to worry about currently because Toph has no idea where Azula really is. The western colonies is about all she knows, from the rumors.
"I was hoping you'd be more helpful with actually knowing the guy and all, even it's not official yet this time around. But you're proving just as spectacularly useless as the rest of the world." Toph says it with less heat than general grumpiness towards all of existence.
They end up stopping at a smaller Earth Kingdom settlement to snoop around, mostly out of convenience of the location than anything, and it proves basically just as informative as Toph promised. It actually turns out to be pretty Fire-friendly despite being obviously Earth Kingdom in fashion and customs. Sokka's pretty sure he sees some gold eyes flashing along the street.
Sokka spends half the day haggling in the market place for information as much as the wares the merchants keeping on thrusting into his face, and barely has anything to show for it. Some hmms and haaws, the Fire Princess burned out the rats in Hu Xin, last I heard, she's sailing across the Mo Ce Sea with the… prince. Ha, really, to give him that title after all these years, you're quite a strange lad. But really, are we going to be standing around here all day talking or will you buy some cabbages?
All in all, the settlement has the feeling of bustling prosperity despite its small size, with its people so entirely caught up in their own lives that they barely register anything outside the limits of their city. The Fire Nation colonies are a list of names or relations at most, the royal family completely disassociated existences.
It'd be easier if they had a stationary target, and probably safer for everyone involved since when they regroup at the end of the day Toph looks like she's about ready to start throwing boulders at things until Zuko turns up.
He's thankful that at least one useful name and location that's popped up over the day.
"I think," Sokka tells her, "I know just who to go to."
These are the things Sokka knows about Mai: She is a girl of the Fire Nation born to nobility. He has never seen her smile and if she laughed the world would probably end. She was bored even when the world did end. She is one of the few people with the unfortunate (for her) distinction of being called Azula's friend. She is also one of the few people with the unfortunate (for him) distinction of being able to knock Sokka on his back in five seconds flat. Only she does it with pointy things, rather than freaky magic.
She is an important person to Zuko.
These are the things Sokka knows from Mai: Zuko will love you but he won't let it stop him from doing what he thinks is right, will love you but won't expect you to love him in return, so there is nothing you can do or say to change it. He will love you even if he never, ever expects you to love him back. And he won't.
Zuko is not an easy boy to love, she had said, voice flat and eyes steel. And I am not the type of girl who can love him.
But she'd died for him anyway.
This lifetime, Mai's father is the governor of some Fire colony on the northwestern coast of the Earth Kingdom. A little to the south there are other colonies whose citizens are restless even if not outright rebellious, yet the one they are going to is relatively calm.
Calm enough for an Earth Kingdom merchant ship as prestigious as the Beifong's to port in the harbor with no more than a few extra sheathes of paperwork. But what's even stranger is that they manage to get to the harbor from the South Pole without any run-ins with danger whatsoever, save for a loose-flowing iceberg and a slightly suicidal whale. What the heck, Sokka wants to ask the universe. Where was this favoritism last time?
He asks Toph about the lack of fuss and gets a particularly unimpressed response.
"The Beifongs are known to be neutral suppliers in the war," Toph says, with a particularly bland look, as if wondering what sort of rock Sokka's been living under the past few years, so she can bend it into his face. Sokka is very familiar with receiving looks like that.
"Huh, so no one on either side has tried to sink your ship before it gets to the other side?"
Toph smirks. "The Beifongs are known to be vicious to anyone stopping them from being neutral suppliers in the war. It's enough to curb off most attacks, and when it isn't there's always me." She says it with the boast of pure, unadulterated fact.
There are Fire Nation soldiers saluting them as they walk off the boat, and Toph waves off the Earth Kingdom aides following behind her.
"But Mistress-" one protests, and Sokka still hasn't gotten used to the title, or the way the crew members scuttle about him like they're assessing his possibility of being a threat, despite being all of thirteen years old. But then again Toph is all of nine and wielding every iota of influence over her family's workers that he ever expected her to if she were given the chance, and apparently in this lifetime she had been.
Toph waves them all off, declaring, "I don't need any babysitters distracting me when I'm trying to close a trade deal," and they back off easily enough. The fact that she metalbent the gangplank into their faces might have helped. Which leaves Katara and Aang on the ship with a handful of huffy Beifong employees, but they've survived worst situations. Besides, Aang can just fly them over the side of the ship or Katara can do her water-surfy thing if they really want to explore the city. No harm done.
At the governor's mansion Toph presents the guards with some documents verifying herself as a member of the Beifong family and they're let in easily enough. They're told to wait in the lobby while the guard fetches the governor, which is the perfect opportunity for them to sneak down the opposite hall in search of the governor's daughter. Or it should be, if Toph would only start sneaking.
"Psst, Toph! Sneakage commencing, right about now," Sokka stage whispers, already halfway down the hall, but she just stares at him blankly like he's grown a second head. Except not, because she wouldn't even notice if he had.
"I told you I'm doing trade negotiations," she huffs. "You can go sneaking by yourself, can't you Snoozles? It's not that scary." Says the nine year old. Says the nine year old who can beat him up in under twenty seconds.
"Er, right. Meet you back here in twenty?"
He manages to get twenty steps down the second hallway before he's knocked flat on his back with knives pinning his shirt and a dagger to his throat.
"Ow. Oh hey Mai, wow, you can still do that pointy knife thing, huh? Actually, you can do it really well."
Mai gives him a flat look, full of all the unimpressed boredom of a noble girl who'd just caught a thief wandering their halls. Wait, no, that's probably a bad analogy.
"What are you doing here?" she asks, dully, as if she doesn't really to care what his answer is and is asking more out of a preconceived social obligation than anything. "And how do you know my name?"
"Haha, that's, um, Zuko told me about you," Sokka says, trying to make it not sound like a question.
Technically, Zuko had, and Sokka has to make this convincing. At the very least, convincing enough, so that Mai thinks that Zuko and he are pals, fallen out-of-touch for the past few months. Then Sokka and Mai can spend time reminiscing (however much Mai reminiscences) about their mutual friend and Sokka can find out where said friend currently is. That's the plan at least, and Sokka likes it because it's quick and straightforward and he knows enough about both of them for it to work.
Except when he gets to the "fallen out-of-touch for the past few months" part Mai presses even closer and her knife draws blood and Sokka is squeaked into silence.
"You're lying," she states, flinty and cool.
Part of him wails how do you even know? while the rest of him just smiles nervously and asks, "What do you mean?". He has never heard her voice hold so little emotion as in that one statement, until he hears her next one.
Mai says, "Zuko's dead. He's been dead for three years," and the frost in her voice could crack glaciers.
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95 ASC (Zuko)
Spring
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There are some things you aren't taught at court, so it is better this way, he thinks, really. No one will suspect a thing.
Two royals of the Fire Nation dying within a month of one another caused rumors in the previous life. Not as many as it could have since they had been an ocean apart, but he doesn't think people will easily follow that reasoning at three. And he doesn't want rumors. There are more important things to do.
He is a Fire Nation prince who hasn't been taught this technique, in this lifetime, so they'll never think to look for it, and they won't call foul play. It's a suicide technique for firebenders captured during the war, for patriots who'd rather die than give up secrets of their nation, for cowards who'd rather run than face torture. Prolonged torture, at least, because it hurts all the same.
Even those sucked of sunlight should be able to generate enough heat to burn out their organs. You don't even need a visible flame. To people who don't know the signs it'll look like a normal fever, so by the time they try to stop you it'll already be too late.
His father was the one who told him, just after he was banished, and it was the last thing his father taught him so he treasured it away. In case you get caught, his father told him, but more important than that, don't get caught, because he was still a Fire Prince and Fire heir despite it all, and he convinced himself it meant his father loved him.
He'd picked the date and everything, close enough to his cousin's death that it'd still be fresh in their minds and his father wouldn't have time to plot. Long enough to account for second thoughts.
He ends up sitting in bed for half of the night before, staring at the knife his Uncle had sent him. Never Give Up, it reads, and he isn't, he thinks desperately, he isn't giving up.
He is simply redefining his objective.
Eventually the moon starts sinking and the sky starts lightening. He sheathes his knife with the tinniest, finalizing click.
The flame he builds is small at first, deep in the pit of his stomach. He holds it still and steady, thinks of tides and diving. He breathes in, deep, and then he lets it go.
(His father had been right, after all. It hurt.)
He died. He died, and his mother, in her grief, didn't leave the palace for days. Ozai asked for the throne because he still had one living heir while Iroh had none, and Lord Azulon couldn't ask for the death of his first-born, his first-born was already gone.
It's just the grief speaking, his mother told the Fire Lord, I'm sure you understand. My honored brother would, she said, and they waited for his uncle to return.
The letter came before his uncle did, withdrawing from his place in the succession of the throne. If Fire Lord Azulon had any contention with this it was never heard. He died in his sleep, and as to the fact that he hadn't seemed ill before, well, the same sudden sort of sickness had claimed Prince Zuko after all.
There was a brief panic about an epidemic but that soon died out, overtaken by the bustle of the crowning ceremony after Fire Lord Azulon's will was read.
The will confirmed Ozai as successor for the throne, left at the side of Fire Lord Azulon's bed along with a personal letter for his heir. Both were penned by a scribe, but bore his seal and signature, and few doubted they were his words. Not enough to protest, at least.
You will be a great Fire Lord, the letter said. You will be a better man than me.
This life (this death), it's only the first lie he's told.
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