For the Greater Good, Part 2: The Strength to Stand
by thrillerartist
(NOTE: I DO NOT OWN MARVEL'S AGENTS OF SHIELD, OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS)
WARNING: MENTIONS ATTEMPTED SUICIDE AND TRAUMATIC THOUGHTS AND EVENTS! IF THIS TRIGGERS ANYTHING FOR ANYBODY, I BEG YOU PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS!
VEIWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED, CONTINUE READING AT YOUR OWN RISK!
Dedicated to all the people in the world living with a mental illness, whatever it may be.
This is not the end of your story; it is just a chapter in the book of your life.
Acknowledgements-
(First off: I know, I know, I'm waaaaayyyyy past my original deadline. I'm sorry, my explainations are at the author's note at the bottom of the page.)
I cannot thank you guys enough for following this story, and encouraging me to write a conclusion to it. The Strength to Stand was a challenge to write, mostly because I had big shoes to fill from For the Greater Good! But I hope that this lives up to everyone expectations, expecially my own.
I would sincerely like to thank the readers who followed this story and gave amazing comments. It not only encouraged me to continue writing fanfiction, but also to believe in the quality of stories I published.
I would also like to thank my good friend Fangirlofsorts, who was there at the beginning of the story, and who helped me see it through to the end.
I hope that The Strength to Stand can remind us all that no story is ever truly over during its darkest hour. If anything, it is just a twist in the plotline. Holding on for just a few more second, minutes, hours, days, can lead us into a new direction into our lives.
I should know that better than anyone.
And now, almost a year after I first published this story, I give you the sequal to For the Greater Good. May you all enjoy reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it.
-thrillerartist
She was currently swimming in and out of consciousness. Whenever she felt awake, she would feel and unseen force yank her back into the the world of dreams and memories...though right now, it was mostly a world of horrible memories.
Was her mind trying to tell her something?
She was asleep, and yet her mind was still awake, and reliving the moments from before.
Those horrible, aweful moments, when she held the power of life and death in her hands.
Her life and death.
As Daisy lay there on the floor of the basement, she faintly heard May call for help.
"We have an agent down." She'd said. "I need help, Jemma, Mack...Anybody!"
Daisy was curled up into May, half lying on the floor, and half clutching May in a foreward bear-hug, with Daisy's head buried into May's shoulder.
There were footsteps, more than one set. Daisy heard them coming closer and closer. There were hushed and whispered voices too, sotthing noises that tried to tell Daisy everything was going to be okay.
They're lying, Daisy thought.
The room, though Daisy knew it was going to be a warehouse, felt too crowded. Daisy wanted to pull away, to run and try again, but she couldn't bring herself to rise. Her arms would not do anything but stay around May, her head would not move anywhere but deeper into the older woman's shoulder. She felt like her emotions were trying to drown her in a sea of despair, and she so badly wanted to sink into it. Her breathing began to pick up again, and the world began to slip away from her. All that there was were the terrible, aweful thoughts racing through her mind, all she could sense was how harder and harder it was getting to breathe. Then, Daisy felt a hand press on the back of her head, gently pressing her into May's chest and shoulder. Daisy could hear May's heartbeat, could feel the pulse under her cheek, and somehow, she was guided back into reality
Ba-bum.
Breath in.
Ba-dum.
Breath out.
Ba-bum.
Breath in.
Da-dum.
Breathe out.
She could have sworn she heard someone singing, softly, a song in another language.
Then there was a pinch in her neck, and then, nothing.
When Daisy woke up, she found herself in a bed in the infirmary. She turned her head, and saw that May was beside her, looking at her with a stoic expression that was so common with the older agent.
There was something tight compressing Daisy's head, which was already hurting.
Daisy groaned.
There was movement, a light shone in her eye, blurring her vision further. When Daisy's visino cleared, she saw the face of Jemma Simmons looking back at her.
"What-" She croaked, before she started coughing. Her mouth and throat were as dry as the Arizona desert. How long had she been asleep.
A cup with a straw was brought to her lips, held by another person's hand. Daisy took the straw in her mouth, taking greedy gulps of cool water, before it was pulled away from her. When Daisy looked at the owner of the hand, she saw that it was May, the woman who stopped her death...and also saved her life. That's when realization came crashing down on Daisy.
She had tried to shoot herslef in the head.
She had failed.
May had stopped her.
And now they were wasting precious resources because of another one of Daisy's mistake.
She couldn't stand it, and forced her head to turn away, ignoring the spell of dizziness and pain it caused.
"Jemma", May called, "she's awake."
"Oh, thank goodness." Jemma said, letting out a breath of relief. Daisy heard footsteps come closer to her bed. Daisy forced herself to look at the ceiling, away ftom Jemma, away from May. She tried not to flinch as a light was shone in her eyes.
"Pupil dialation a little slower than normal," Jemma said, "but no signs of major brain trauma. You have a minor concussion from the...where the bullet grazed..." As Jemma let her words trail off, Daisy forced herself to stare at the ceiling as the Brit gently touched Daisy's head, which Daisy guessed was wrapped in bandages, because though Daisy felt Jemma's touch, it was dulled. But that didn't mean her head didn't sting when Jemma touched her.
"Sorry." Jemma said. Her hands were shaking slightly, and her voice sounded gravelly.
"So am I." Daisy mumbled. But Daisy didn't say what it was she was sorry for. Honestly, Jemma could have taken her pick.
Jemma only continued to examine Daisy's head wound before saying, "I'm afraid that we hade to give you a few stitches. This...this is going to leave a scar." Jemma prodded the area lightly with her finger, and "continued to talk, albeit a little flusteredly, "it's going to scar over, but if you want, I can make a salve that can cause the wound to heal with little scar tissue. It would be as if it never happened."
For some reason, that made Daisy very angry. If she wasn't awake before, she was now that white-hot fury was coarsing through her.
"What, so you're just gonna try to forget about this too?" Daisy said, propping herself on her elbows, fighting off the pain and nausea so that she could properly look at Simmons.
"What?" Simmons asked, clearly confused. Daisy knew she probably wasn't making sense, but Daisy also didn't care.
"Are you going to try and forget this bad thing just like you tried to forget what happened to Fitz?" Daisy's voice was gradually rising, despite how tired it wounded. She grabbed Simmons' shirt in her fist, and saw that she was wearing her inhibitor-gloves. Simmons and Mack must have jury-rigged her a pair so she wouldn't try and hurt herslef with her powers. That also made Daisy angry. Her teeth clenched, and her fingers tightened-albeit weakly-around Simmons' shirt.
"Like you tried to get rid of my powers?" Daisy growled.
Simmons looked genuinely scared right now, and part of Daisy felt guilty, for it. "Daisy," Simmons said, trying to get Daisy to let go of her, "I'm not-"
Daisy's fury finally reached its peak. "You know what, Jemma?" She snapped, "You need to learn that no matter how much science you try to use to fix things and erase things, you can't erase the fact that bad things STILL KEEP HAPPENING!"
"Daisy!" May snapped, grabbing her arm that was holding Simmons. Daisy let go of Simmons's shirt so that she could swat away May's hand. Daisy head pounded, and though it hurt like hell, Daisy couldn't stop herself from raising her voice.
"No, May!" Daisy shouted, " She-"
Daisy suddenly felt a pinch in her arm, followed by a wave of drowiness. She stubbornly tried to keep her eyes open, but the temptation of sleep's embrace became too inviting. As she drifted off, she couldn't help but hear the short conversation that went on.
"She's not herself... not thinking clearly."
"I know." A familiar British voice said sullenly. "But that doesn't mean it was never true."
There was no escape from the guilt and stress for Daisy, not even in her sleep. When she woke up again, it was as if there was no color to the world. Everything seemed dimmer, even the sounds and smells. Someone was always with her in her room, usually May. They didn't talk at all, because Daisy didn't feel she had anythign to say until she could work thorugh the confusing thoughts in her head. She did not know what to do, did not see a light at the end of the figurative tunnel, did not see a way out of this mess her team got involved in. She was unsure of herself, of her ability to lead, to make the hard call...because even though she thought she was making the right call, was Daisy, really? Or was she just taking the easy way out, and leaving everyone behind to clean up the mess?
But most of all, she was afraid. Afraid of destroying the world, sure, because who in thier right mind wouldn't be? But that wasn't all that she was afraid of.
Daisy was afraid of what would happen leading up to the moment where she destroys the world. Would it be a conscious decision, or would the world be collateral damage left in her wake?
Daisy wasn't only afraid of destroying the world.
She was afraid that she would become the monster she always feared, that she would finally succumb to the darkness she tried so hard to avoid.
But no matter how deep into thought Daisy delved, May was always there interrput them. Whenever darkness seemed to pull Daisy into the void, May was always there to bring her back. She always said something that caught Daisy's attention. Sometimes it was the song that Daisy heard before she passed out, sung just loud enough for Daisy to hear. Sometimes, though, it was something simple: "You look better today". Or, sometimes, it was something ridiculous: "Deke found a bottle of lemon spray the other day. He didn't realize it was a cleaning product until he sprayed it into his mouth."
You always knew how bad things were getting when the infamously stoic Cavalry was trying to get Daisy to laugh.
Jemma came by every few hours to check on Daisy's condition, and relieve May from suicide watch-sorry, "keeping her company". Call a spade a spade, Daisy was red flagged.
Jemma came in every day to check on Daisy's condition. Sometimes, If Daisy was hysterical, it would include a sedative.
"It's looking much better today." Jemma would say, every time she changed the wound. In a few weeks, Jemma said she would remove the stitches. She always sounded chipper, and Daisy hated it. She hated a lot of things lately, but mostly it was just herself. Herself and her messed up head, which had only succeeded in bringing up every tragic thing that Daisy had ever experienced. Digging up old hatchets, and reopeing old wounds that she thought had long since healed.
It hurt.
All of it did.
But nothing hurt Daisy worse than seeing what she had put her family through.
When Daisy woke up the next morning, she saw that Coulson had come to sit with her. He's pale, a film of sweat coats his forehead, and he looks exhautesd. To another person, Coulson would just look like he's coming down with a cold, but Daisy knew the truth.
He sat down with a sigh, and Daisy couldn't help but wonder how exhausted he must be. Coulson leaned on his elbows, and looked at Daisy with relief. "I'm glad to see you're doing better." He said, taking a deep breath.
"I saw the footage...and I heard everyhting from May." Coulson rested his chin on his hands, collecting his thoughts before continuing. "Daisy," He said, looking at her with sorrow and stress. "I am so sorry that I put so much pressure on you. And I am so sorry for what Fitz did to you. But we need you."
Daisy scoffed at the sentiment, and looked away from Coulson.
"We need you , more than you know. Something is coming that the world isn't prepared for, and we need all the power we can get."
"So you need me as a weapon." Daisy mumbled, not realizing how venemous her voice sounded.
"That's not what I meant, and you now that."
"No, I know you think you 'need me', but you really don't." Daisy snapped. She could feel her anger pounding through her head, but instead of forcing her to stop, the pain made her continue. "I mess up everywhere I go. If I'm not hurting someone else, I hurt myself! You've seen it, you know what happens to people who are around me too long! You've seen what my life is like!" Treacherous tears began to seep out of her eyes. Her head stung, throbbed from the intense blood pressure.
"I'm so tired of it all." Daisy whimpered.
It was as if her life was reflecting all of the past painful experiences back onto her. Tripp, Terengenesis, Afterlife, Hive, Lincoln...and now, the future of the world literally rested on her shoulders.
If all that wasn't enough to break someone's mind, Daisy didn't want to find out what could.
Coulson sighed. "Daisy-"
"No!" Daisy snapped. Blood was pounding in her head so hard it felt as if her stitches were about to pop. "I don't want to talk to you!" She shouted, her voice croaking from the misuse. "Just go away and leave me alone!"
Coulson was quiet, and looked at her with placidity, though Daisy knew there was sadness in his heart. She couldn't stand to look at.
Coulson tried to reason with her, saying gently "Daisy-"
"GET OUT!" Daisy roared. "GET OUT AND LEAVE ME ALONE!"
It hurt Daisy to say those words, it hurt Daisy when she looked at Coulson, but there was no other way to get him to leave.
Because the last person Daisy wanted to see right now was Coulson.
With a wounded expression, Coulson got up from his chair, walked to the door of Daisy's room. He paused at the doorframe, and said without turning his back, "I'm sorry."
After Daisy's meltdown in front of Coulson, May came in storming, looking like an angry math teacher who caught a student cheating. Angwe and disappointment shone in her eyes, but under the surface, there was something else...
Daisy couldn't decipher it, though, because when May walked in, she slapped Daisy across the face.
Daisy looked at her with shock. "May, what-"
"Pay attention to what I have to say, because I'm not repeating myself again." May said. Daisy saw that her usual stern and stoic expression was on her face.
"I understand that you've been through a lot. We all have, not just you. And I've got to say, I'm really disappointed."
That was like a punch to the gut.
"When I first met you, I saw fire in your eyes. Determined to find answers no matter what they may be. Innocence that I knew making you an agent would take away. We all signed up for this job. Better agents than you have quit for less reasons than what you've gone through, but the ones who stayed stayed because there was nothing else for them to do. They saw a need to protect the world, and they answered the call, no matter how dire the sitation would be."
May sighed, and put her head in her hand. "How many times are we going to be here, Daisy?"
"Here?"
"You, sitting in the infirmary, because you decided to save all the grief and hurt for yourself. You injured, or worse, because you don't let anyone in on what's going through your head." May got down to Daisy's eye level. "I saw the look in your eye in the basement, and I have to say, it scared the shit out of me. There was nothing there, Daisy, no life in your eyes. I even see it now, your eyes are lifeless."
May gripped Daisy's hand. "There's something going on in your head that you're not telling me, and it's not going away. Is it?"
Daisy's eyes teared up as she shook her head. "No." Daisy whispered.
"Whatever it is, I'm here." May said. "Coulson, me, Simmons, Fitz, Mack and Yo-Yo...even Deke, despite him being an idiot. We're all here for you."
Whereas Daisy's mind had broken a few days ago, now it was time for her heart. She'd taken care to harden it against everything that would try to hurt her, had even started to emulate May a little because of it. But now, it seemed that all she had done was throw up a wall of stone around her heart.
It hadn't hardened at all.
She'd only thought it was.
"I..." Daisy's breath hitched. "I'm sorry." Daisy said, her eyes tearing up at the sight of her friend. "I'm sorry."
May sighed, "Daisy-"
"I'm sorry." Daisy repeated. "I don't know what I was thinking and I...I..."
"Daisy, it's going to be okay. You're going to be okay."
"I...I just...I don't know what to do anymore!"
Daisy wanted to hear May say something that would make her feel better. She wanted to hear something that would tell her thr truth, no matter how hard or cold it was. Hell, Daisy just wanted to hear something from May, because the silence between them was deafening.
"May?" Daisy whispered. "please, say something."
May looked at Daisy, then away from her, at the wall. "May," Daisy repeated, her voice. cracking under the strain of emotion, "I don't know what to do, tell me what to do!"
"I don't really know what to do." May said. "But I know for one thing, opening up is a start."
That was when Daisy finally broke. Tears that she'd been holding back since the basement finally fell, leaking through her fingers and onto her bedsheets. Two warm and loving arms wrapped around her shouldres, and Daisy leaned into the embrace.
"You're going to be okay, Daisy." May said. " You're going to be okay."
And for once, Daisy thought she couild believe that.
One Week Later...'
He stood there, with an emotionless expression that Daisy was not able to analyze.
"Humanity is on the brink." Talbot said with a hint of venom on his tongue. His eyes themselves seemed empty. "And I alone can fix it."
Daisy felt her stomach drop into the ground. Talbot held out his hands towards her, and Daisy felt a pulling sensation bring her straight into Talbot's arms. She tried to dig in her toes, but he was too strong.
"But you're right." Talbot whispered into her face. "We should join forces."
And then they were flying.
The wind whipped against Daisy's face, the dust and dirt floating in the from the rubble of the city stung against her face. When she looked down, she saw that they were hundreds of stories in the air.
And then they were falling.
Talbot had stopped his ascent, and positioned himself directly above Daisy, still holding her ina vice grip. Daisy couldn't break free, not when she had no leverage. All there was left for her to do was brace herself for the inpact against the hard ground.
And when the two of them finally connected with the asphalt, Daisy felt the strength of thier combined force emit a showave so powerful her teeth rattled in her skull. The wind was knocked out of her, and Daisy coughed and sputtered in an effort to regain it. Talbot once again stood above her, following as Daisy pathetically tried to crawl away. Ever fiber of her being told her to get away from the madmad who used to be Talbot. But he cought her all the same, saying menacingly "It's going to be much easier to get to that buried treasure once I can quake the ground apart."
Daisy felt her heart stop, as realization finally dawned on her. Was this how I destroyed the world? She wondered. By getting absorbed into a crazy man?
Talbot yanked Daisy to her feet, holding her shoulders in an almost headlock, whispering into her ear, "I'm going to need every weapon I can get in this fight."
Out of the corner of her eye, Daisy saw Talbot turn his hand into liquid gravitonium, and felt its cold embrace as it wrapped her shoulders in a coocoon. Daisy brought up her arms in an attempt to shield herself from the gravitonium's grip, when she saw something cylindrical hidden inside one of her gauntlets. Gingerly, she picked it up with her thumb and forefinger, and carefully drew it out. She saw the plunger ,and the covered needle, and the amber fluid contained within it.
The centipede serum.
Coulson didn't take it...so that Daisy could have enough power to defeat Talbot.
Her mind raced at a million miles a second, with the words of the future Yo-Yo emanating in her mind: Trying to save Coulson is what ends up destroying the world.
Because I chose to save him, Daisy realized, I wasn't strong enough to save the world.
Before the gravitonium could snake its way completely around her, Daisy uncapped the needle and injected the serum-the last of the centipede serum, and Coulson's last chance-into her neck. Immediately, she felt white-hot head race through her veins, felt the raw power surge throughout every fiber of her being. She tapped into the frewuencies of the Earth, collected it within herself, and let it out against Talbot. Immediately, he was thrown back against the walls of the crater they both created, and the flow of his gavitonium stopped. He looked up at her from his position on his hands and knees, angered that he wasn't able to get his new toy when he wanted it. He rose to his feet, cracking his neck, and growled, "Well, not I'll just break you in half."
Talbot rushed towards her, and Daisy instinctively rolled onto her back, pushing her hands agianst the approaching beast-man. She watched Talbot shoot up into the sky like a launcing missile, while she was forced deeper into the ground from the backwards momentum of her strike. She heard the booming noise emanating from Talbot, indicating that he had broken the sound barrier.
Daisy could only lay there, in her personal crater, staring at the sky and waiting for Talbot to come back down and continue thier fight.
It must have been only a few minutes when Daisy realized that Talbot still hadn't returned, but it felt like she was waiting for hours.
Well, Daisy thought, if he hasn't come back to earth now, he probably won't.
Gathering what was left over her energy, which wasnt much, Daisy rolled over onto her side, pushing herself up to her knees, and rose to her feet.
Climbing out of the crater, Daisy looked around at the destruction that was caused the man who used to be her ally. Pe9ple stare at her, and some run to safety. However, daisy stand still, in the rubble of Chogaco city, relishing in the fact that the world was still there.
But in the palm of her hand, Daisy still held the syringe that saved her life.
The world was safe...for now.
But for daisy, it felt like her world had just ended.
One month later...
Coulson wasn't going to make it a week, Jemma had said. A month had passed since then, and May had chosen to take some time off after his death. As for Daisy, she stood alone, outside the base, watching the waves roll in and out of the shore, heard them crash against the cliffside. In her hands, she held the empty vial of the Centipede serum. Since the Chicago attacks, and her fight with Talbot, Daisy had chosen to keep the empty vial. It was long and tubular, the size of a fun-size candy bar, and barely as thick as her thumb. It was a lot smaller without the giant syringe it came in.
Right now, there was a metal chain hooked around where the syrince gauge used to be. A depressing talisman, created with help from Yo-Yo. When Daisy wore it, the cold metal would land just above her heart, but it never seemed to had been gone for barely a month. Daisy was still finding ways to live with the guilt of using up the Centipede serum-the only thing that could have possibly saved Coulson.
But Coulson wouldnt have wanted to live with the fact that the very thing that saved him led to the world being quaked apart; because Heroes dont make decisions based on what will save them. Heroes make decisions based on what will save everyone who needs to be saved.
Sometimes, though, that doesn't mean they can save everyone.
Daisy understood that now, and every day that she reminded herslef of that, every day became easier to keep going.
"Thank you." Daisy said, seemingly speaking to the vial, but Daisy knew that she was really talking to the man who gave it to her.
"Thank you, Coulson." She said again. "For everything. And...I'm-I'm glad I'm not dead. I'm glad I didn't succeed in doing what I wanted. And I promise, that I won't let all your hard work go to waste.
Daisy took the vial, and strung it around her neck. As usual, she felt the cold, cylindrical metal fall just above her heart. SIt was a reminder to Daisy that no sacrifice should ever be in vain. That was the last thing Coulson did, and Daisy was going to spend the rest of her life doing just that.
She would become the leader Coulson wanted her to be, if not as the Director of SHIELD, then as a role model to the Inhumans who were still being persecuted. She'd come a full circle since her time in the basement, and she intended on breakin gthe circle that seemed to revolve around her.
As she turned her back on the water, she tucked the neclace back into her shirt. It bulged a little, but she could feel the glass warming against her skin, it contents circling through her boodstream, and even now, she could still feel the strength it could create.
The strength to protect those who weren't strong enough on thier own.
The strength to stand, to keep going, even when all seems lost.
Off all the lessons Coulson had tought her about being and Agent of SHIELD, that is the one Daisy considered the most importand.
-The End-
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
I know, I know, I didn't deliver this in teh two weeks that I primsed. I'm sorry for that.
My family and I had just finished the process of moving into our new home, so I didn't have the time I needed to work on the story in the time frame I wanted. I also had some trouble with how the story would flow, and how each of the characters would respond to Daisy's suicide attempt (Daisy in particular). Would she be uspset that she failed, or upset that she thought she was left with no other choice? Who would keep her from stepping off of that ledge again, and what would be the moment that brought her full circle from her moment in the basement?
I also had to do a lot of research for this part of the story, about how hospitals respond to patients who are admitted for attempting suicide, but also about how families rally around their loved ones to support them in this fragile time. May slapping Daisy is not at all how you would go about helpind someone get through a depression or fragile state of mind, but remember, Daisy was also in a semi state of hysteria. People who go through traumatic and high-stress experiences can often come out of it with symptoms of PTSD, anxiety, and depression, and that is what I chose to focus on for Daisy's state of mind. Following her through the seasons, realizing what her character has had to go through makes you realize just how strong a person she is. However, everyone, even the strongest, have their limits.
That is what I chose to focus on for this story.
Even the strong need a little support...and sometimes, when we as for help, we can become all the stronger for it.
Hope you enjoyed the story, and that I could live up to expectations!
Until next time,
thrillerartist