Friday was upon me before I'd even realized time was passing. I was lounging in my room, considering the fact that I had the whole summer in front of me, when Mom wandered in and sat delicately on the edge of my bed. I grinned at her, feeling generous.
"Hi, hun," she said brightly. "How was your last day?"
"Good," I replied. Better now that it's over. At least the end of school meant not having to see Seri anymore. Yesterday, she'd stopped by just to drop off a box of stuff; accumulated presents and mementoes of our friendship. I'd tried to tell her I was sorry, that I hadn't meant what I'd said, but she'd simply glared at me, spoke a few words, and then hurried off. I hugged my legs to my chest, still hearing her angry voice in my mind. "I should have known it would come to this, Ashlyn. You've always lived in your fantasy world. You're messed up, you know that? Messed up." The worst part was after she'd said this, and we'd stared at each other. The worst part was when I opened my mouth and couldn't come up with a response before she was gone, because I was beginning to suspect that she was right. I shivered and roused myself from my reverie. "What's up?"
"Huh?" Mom looked absentminded as I felt. "Oh, nothing…" She was looking over my room. "You've taken down your Peter Pan decorations," she said finally. I shrugged like it was nothing. She looked at me curiously. "How are you really doing, sweetie?"
I shrugged again. "Fine, Mom." I smiled at her. "Now seriously, what's going on?" There was a nervous air about my mother, one that I could easily discern. She kept playing with her hands, and it seemed difficult for her to meet my eye. I felt something hard in the pit of my stomach, warmth in my throat – excitement.
She cleared her throat and stood up. She brushed aside my curtains and looked out. "You always keep these shut now," she commented. "It makes your room so dark. You used to hate having your windows shut as a kid…" she sighed. I stared at her, willing her to just get on with it.
"Okay, Ashlyn, this is what's going on." She faced me, steeling her eyes as they met mine. "I talked to your father yesterday and-" She glared at me as I attempted to interrupt. "-he was talking about your trip to England. He was… tentative about your coming along with him and Natalie, since you've been ignoring him ever since the rehearing."
"Good," I said, "because I'm not going." I traced patterns on my knee, pretending to be entirely absorbed in this task. Mom frowned.
"No, you are." She held up a hand. "You're leaving in the morning. Dave will be here at six, so I suggest you pack your bags. Pack light. You can always go shopping with Natalie when you get there. It's about ten to eleven hours flying time, so don't forget to pack something to amuse yourself in case you can't sleep."
I gaped at her.
She smiled. "No use arguing, Ash. You're going whether you want to or not – and Dave and I, we both know you want to, deep down in there somewhere. Your father said he would have a fun surprise waiting for you when you get there, too."
"What's that?" I grumbled. "A ticket home?"
Mom shot me a Look, then left the room. "You'd better start packing," she said just before she closed the door.
I scowled at my bed. I didn't want to spend my summer with that man and his new girlfriend. You'd think he'd have realized this after my studiously ignoring him for a whole month. I pouted for about five minutes, then sighed and buried my head in my legs. I felt overwhelmingly tired all of a sudden.
And whoever said teenagers had it easy… I'd like to slap them.
The next morning my alarm woke me at five. I showered and gathered my things, then sat at the window, staring at the curtain as I waited for Dad to show up. Mom tried unsuccessfully to coax me into having breakfast. I ignored her. At about five-fifty, the doorbell rang. The sound was loud in the early morning silence. I could hear Mom open the door, and then – horror of horrors – Dad's voice.
"Ash?" Dad called. "Are you ready to go, honey?"
I closed my eyes and willed myself to not cry. Shuddup, I told him in my mind. Leave me alone why don't you?!
"Coming," I called. I stood up and pulled my bag onto my shoulder. I gave my room one final look-over, then shut off the light, stepped out into the hallway, and shut the door. I headed downstairs. Dad and Mom were waiting by the front door. Neither was talking; they watched as I rounded the corner from the dining room and stepped into view. I looked over Dad's shoulder and kept my face expressionless.
"Hey, Ash." His face broke into a huge grin. "Long time no see, kid."
"Bye, Mom," I said loudly. "I love you." I stepped over to my fragile, beautiful mother and hugged her. She smelled like perfume, and she felt warm next to my nearly always frozen skin. She kissed the top of my head and stepped back, smiling at me.
"Love you too, sweetie," she said. "Have fun in London. Have adventures enough for the both of us, okay?"
"I promise." I forced a smile too, but wanted to scream. Don't make me go. Please oh please let me stay. I swallowed hard. Mommy…
"Better get going," Dad said. He gently pried my bag from my hands. "Goodbye, Cheryl," he said to Mom.
"Bye Dave." She was watching me suspiciously. "Ashlyn."
"Bye." I gave her one last lingering look, then followed my father out the door sullenly. He waited until the door was shut, then flashed me another brilliant smile.
"This is so exciting, Ash," he enthused, putting his free arm over my shoulders. I stiffened. "We've always wanted to go to London. Maybe we'll see Peter." He winked.
"Yeah, right," I said. I ducked so his arm slid off of me, then gave him a hard glare. "I suppose we'll be hunting down Santa Claus while we're there, too. And maybe the tooth fairy. Oh, and we can't forget the Easter Bunny-"
"Ash," said Dad, looking pained.
"Shut up," I hissed. "Just shut up already. I'm not here because I want to be, and I don't believe in stupid childish nonsense like Peter Pan." I spat the words out like poison. "So stop treating me like a kid, mister, because I'm not anymore. I'm practically an adult."
I slid into the back seat of his SUV and banged the door shut on his hurt expression. I dug my fingernails into the custom leather until there were permanent streaks in the material, then smiled grimly. Dad threw my bag in the trunk, then hopped in the driver's seat.
"You'll change your mind, Ashlyn," he said confidently.
I was silent the entire way to the airport.
"Oh Dave, she looks just like you," gushed Natalie. She smiled down at me. "Your dark hair is so beautiful," she said complacently.
"Thank you." I smiled. People who couldn't treat teenagers different from little kids amused me. "But my mother's is prettier."
"I'm sure it is." Annoyingly, Natalie appeared undeterred by the mention of my mother. She glanced at her watch. "Oh snap," she said. "We're gonna miss the plane unless we hurry."
"Right," said Dad. He grabbed my bags out of the trunk bed and started walking towards the shuttle stop. Natalie shot me one last smile before running to catch up. For a moment I stood next to the car, debating whether or not to refuse to move so we'd be stuck here. Then Dad gave me one last look, and I decided maybe we could work things out. So I ran.
We just barely caught the plane. We got seats right next to each other. Dad motioned me into the window seat and put our carry-ons in the compartments. Natalie slid into the seat next to me.
"This is so exciting," said Natalie. "I've never been to London. How about you, Ashlyn?"
I was staring out the window. The pavement was wet with dew. Steam rose from it in soft, translucent waves. Flashing lights and the bright orange shirts of the airport workers panned out across the landscape. The sky was brilliant fireworks of orange and pale pink and gold and rose.
"Ash?" Dad prompted. I looked up into Natalie's expectant hazel eyes.
"Oh," I said. "No."
"Aren't you excited?"
"Sure." I dug my iPod out of my pocket and wedged in my earbuds and pressed 'Play'. Then I pulled out my cell phone and pretended to text someone.
Ah, the defense mechanism that is modern technology. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Dad's face pull into a disapproving frown. I concentrated on my cell phone and pretended I hadn't seen anything. Natalie turned away, and a few minutes later the flight attendant was talking and the ground was shedding away from the plane like gray-and-green sheets. I watched the sun rise and felt like a bird as we soared through the morning sky.
Before I knew it, I was dead asleep.