Chapter 3: The One That Got Away

"You look good, Bobcat. How's life?" Brown eyes met hers, glinting with both amusement and caution.

Gulping at the term of endearment while cursing herself for not recognizing his voice, Veronica answered. "As good as can be expected. You?"

"Sober." Logan said. Noting her surprise, he elaborated. "Fifty percent chance, remember? Seems Mom did leave me a little something more then the artwork."

"Veronica!" Pete said loudly, coming up to the bar. "Is everything alright?"

His eyes flicking over the man, Logan raised an eyebrow. "Boyfriend?"

Her gaze not leaving his face, Veronica answered. "Coworker. Everything's fine, Pete. Just someone I used to know."

"Okay…" the man said, confused by her cool response. "Things seem to be a bust here. Alexis and I are heading back to the hotel. You wanna come?"

Shaking her head, Veronica refused. "No thanks. I'll see you guys later. Tell Alexis I'll call her when I get back in. We'll talk tomorrow." She took her purse and jacket from the man. "Say hi to Nancy when you call her tonight. I'll be fine."

Nodding, Pete put on his coat. "Will do. You'll call if there's a problem?"

"Promise." Veronica said. "Really, Pete. Everything's cool- I've got Mikey at the door." She jerked her head, referencing the bouncer.

"Good. See you tomorrow, Mars." Pete looked over Logan one last time and turned to leave.

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Chuckling, Logan put his attention back to the girl who had left him. "Same old Veronica Mars. Men everywhere coming to save the girl who doesn't need saving."

"You came to my rescue just now." Veronica said, sipping a drink.

"Yes, but you didn't really need it. You would have found a way to belittle his self esteem before anything got physical." He pointed out.

Smiling slightly, the blonde tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. Logan grasped the arm and pulled it closer to his face. "So you kept the tattoo." A single blue lily flower could be seen on her wrist.

"She's never far from me, Logan. I told you I wouldn't regret the decision." Pulling her arm back, Veronica's demeanor changed slightly.

"I never said you would." Tilting her head up to him with a finger, the tall man looked at her. "Can we go somewhere quieter? We should catch up some more."

She nodded slowly, and hoisted the purse to her shoulder. "I'd like that."

The two left the club after Veronica said goodbye and thanked the bouncer at the door. Logan took her to his car and the two drove in silence to a coffee shop. Sitting across from each other at a small café table, neither knew how to start the long overdue conversation.

Breaking the silence, Logan looked into his cup and spoke quietly. "You have no idea how many times I wanted to call you."

"Yes I do." She said directly. "I know because I picked up the phone at least that many times, but couldn't press send."

Quietly, he met her eyes. "So why didn't you?"

"I figured you didn't want to see me."

Putting his cup down, Logan laughed. "God, we're a pair. What are you doing now? Gotten the badge?"

"Actually, I gave up law enforcement." Veronica answered, and blushed at his open mouth. "I'm an investigative reporter for the Chicago Sun. Almost the same, I just don't have to abide by those pesky laws and the bureaucracy of it all."

Logan sat back in his seat and looked at her appraisingly. "From what I remember, those pesky laws didn't stop you anyway. Do you like it- reporting, I mean?"

She smiled, making his heart beat faster. "Actually, yeah. My boss is a really cool guy, and he likes that I can do my own photography."

"Plus this way you have an excuse for asking all those aggravating questions." He pointed out, grinning as she ducked her head. "You're still doing the whole photo thing, then."

"Mmm-hmm." Veronica voiced, sipping her coffee. "I'm thinking about putting together a book. Not from my stories, just some shots that I have around."

Nodding, the young man encouraged her. "It's a good idea. Hell, you could do a Neptune-themed one and feature all the shots you took during high school."

At that suggestion, Veronica started to laugh. "Because tawdriness makes a best seller." Shaking her head, she switched topics. "Enough about me- what are you doing now? Making your own money?"

"And she comes out swinging!" Logan gasped, holding up his hands in defense. Choosing to ignore the way his stomach flipped when she giggled, he responded to her last question. "I am indeed earning a living. I write reviews for Travel and Leisure magazine. You know, nightlife expert that I am."

Searching her mind for the authors known to write for the magazine, Veronica was silent as she looked into her mug. Looking up, the blonde's eyes opened wide. "You're L.E. Lester?"

"So you know my work." He said, pleased with the reaction. "I'm sort of surprised you didn't see through the pen name. Losing your touch, Ronnie."

"Well I didn't expect you to write! Much less for Travel and Leisure!" she defended herself. "You graduated with a degree in business management. I thought you'd go into owning a club, or start an ad agency. I would have put even money on you publishing some glossy surf magazine! Not write."

Appraisingly, Logan questioned her again. "Why not write?"

Stirring her coffee, Veronica thought before answering. "Writers have to take a lot of criticism. They have to follow orders from editors, meet requirements. You like being in charge."

"Says the girl who wouldn't even listen to her dad when he told her to leave something alone. The girl who had me by the sac for two years, pulling me or pushing me away; whatever she wanted she got." Logan shot straight, knowing he was probably not going to get another chance to talk about it. "Then left Neptune without a word to me or her father, ordering her friends never to tell us where you went."

The bantering mood immedietly shifted, and Veronica looked up pained. "Is that what you think? That I do whatever I want, not caring who I have to ignore to get it?"

Meeting her gaze, the man answered. "How long has it been since you've seen Keith?"

"Keith? Since when have you called my dad by his first name?" she gasped.

"Since he found some of my stuff after you 'moved out'. He called me to pick it up and we talked." Refusing to back down, Logan continued his questions. "How long, Ronnie?"

Furious, fire filled Veronica's eyes. "It doesn't matter, Logan. That's no longer your business."

"Because you didn't want it to be!" he exploded. "You broke up with me, Ronnie! You left Neptune without a second glance, running to Chicago. Keith says he calls you every year on your birthday and Christmas. You don't answer the phone. He stopped sending presents for both- you sent them back."

"I can't deal with this right now, Logan. You don't get to make me feel this way, not after all this time." She stood up, and threw money on the table. "I'll get a cab back to the hotel."

Grabbing her arm, he kept her there. "You can't run away from me this time, Ronnie. Not until we get everything out. Why did you break up with me? Why did you go to Chicago? Were we such a bad thing that you had to run away and severe ties with your father?"

Struggling, Veronica hissed. "If you don't let me go Logan, I'm going to scream."

Shaking his head, Logan refused. "I know the owner of this place. He knows I'm not going to hurt you."

"Because I'm not going to let you. I do not let people hurt me anymore."

Eyes widening, Logan froze. "You thought I was going to hurt you." he whispered.

"Everyone does, eventually. I learned not to get close. I can't be disappointed if I didn't expect anything." She stopped struggling and just stood there. "You were asking me to give up who I was, Logan."

Still at a whisper, confusion had filled the man's face. "I asked you to go to Europe with me for the summer. How was that asking you to give up anything?"

Defeated, her shoulders dropped. "It wasn't just a vacation, Logan. It would have started with Europe, and then you would have asked me to marry you. If we had gotten married, it would have been kids after that. I'm not even sure if I want to have children. You would have kept asking me to do more."

"How do you know that? How could you have known that I was going to ask you to marry me there?" Logan asked, still shocked.

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Veronica's eyes widened and she actually faltered her stance. "No." she whispered. "Oh God, no."

Tightening his grip as she swayed on her feet, Logan was unrelenting. "Why was it such a bad idea? For me to hope that you could have said yes?"

"That's why he was so sad when I told him." The blonde continued to whisper in awe. "That's why he wanted me to go back and talk to you. You talked to my dad?"

Voice raising again, Logan's face became angry. "Of course I talked to him! I wanted to get his blessing! And you know what Veronica? He said yes! Keith said that he would have been happy if we got married!"

It was Veronica's turn to freeze. When they were together, Logan had rarely used her full name. Only when he was furious at her for risking her life would he refer to her as 'Veronica.'

"He didn't. Oh God, no." she repeated. "I can't deal with this."

Still refusing to let her go, Logan pulled her close to him. "Why haven't you talked to him? It's been four years- how can you do this to him?"

"This isn't about him, Logan. You wanted to talk? We talked. There was screaming and tears, just like our relationship. I'm leaving."

As she bent shakily to pick up her bag, Logan let in one more dig. "It's funny how the only thing you've learned to do after all this time is to leave something alone."

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Her eyes narrowed and she slowly rose. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Meeting her gaze with the same intensity, Logan answered. "There was a time when you never would have left a question unanswered. I'm not the one who made you give up who you were. You did that all by yourself."

Veronica took the two steps back to him. "I haven't given up anything. My priorities changed, not me."

"What priorities?" Logan asked. "What do you have now that is driving you to live? What is that thing that you're searching for?"

Challenging him, Veronica jutted out her chin. "Thing? What drives me is being the best. Success, Logan- that's what everyone wants."

Shaking his head, the man continued. "Think fast, Ronnie. You're the kind of person who needs a search. Not a story for the paper, but that mystery you need to solve. You had Lilly's murderer to find, who crashed the bus, the rapist at Hearst to catch, the Dean's killer- what is the question that you're trying to answer right now? The case that you're so involved in that you accuse anyone associated with it of wrong-doing?"

Open mouthed, she stood there. An ironic smile grew on Logan's face. "You can't think of one can you? That's all the proof I need to show that I wasn't the one who made you give up who you are."

Giving her back the money she had thrown on the table, Logan walked towards the door. "You don't get to leave this time, Ronnie. I'm doing it first." Nodding at her over his shoulder, he walked out and got into his car.