And I woke up.

There on a filthy cold stone floor bathed in a sickly green glow - emanating from the right.

I had been dragged and dumped, I figured, by the sharp stabbing pains throbbing in the backs of my legs and the sticky sensation of blood.

'Oh well 'I supposed as I lay there 'at least I'm going to die in an interesting way, way more interesting than my pointless life ever was'.

I widened by eyes and sat up slowly, taking in my new surroundings.

'Oh yes – very gothic' I considered inwardly, casting a bored eye over the small dank room. I was next to the far wall and next to me was another wall that jutted out towards the centre of the room, making it an 'L' shape.

In the centre of the room was a fireplace that had an arched, flat mantle that lay close to the floor, a bit like a small baker's oven.

The fire inside the grate was lit, but instead of the usual yellow and orange flames, green flames licked outwards and produced no heat.

I remember thinking 'stupid special effect waste of time, I suppose I'm meant to be amazed or scared or something. Whatever' and then carried on muttering about it under my breath accordingly.

I stood up slowly as my bones and muscles cracked and griped their objections.

I had always thought that pain was there to let you know there was something wrong and at the same time, remind you that you were still alive. These were the two reasons I disliked pain. Not the usual way people thought about it, I'm sure. They yell out at the sensation of it, frankly, that did not bother me in the slightest, I'd been in pain my whole life. The only difference was, was that someone else would come along and make it worse from time to time.

I walked across the room, past the creepy green flamed fireplace and to a door in the far right hand corner. It was a lumbering, wooden affair, straight out of a horror film, with its great wooden slats and huge, heavy ringed handle. I tugged at the handle, half expecting it to be locked, but to my bemusement the door gave and I swung it open. It even had a clichéd squeak as its hinges objected to the motion.

Before me was an unlit staircase, only the first two or three steps lit by the glow coming from behind me. I shrugged. If I fell to my death, then that would be fine by me.

I instinctively put out my left hand, where the stone wall was and marched down the twisting steps into utter blackness.

I've gone into detail there haven't I? And you know what? It's because I really liked that room. Throughout all my time here, I have never once found it again. I would love to see it once more, get up those stairs and into the room with the green fire fireplace.

He might not find me there.

And that would not make him happy in the least.

Good.

I'm now at the bottom of these damn stairs in my head whilst I'm telling you all this, so you better keep up with me.

I fumble about in the pitch black, looking for a door or another set of steps, but found myself in what appeared to be a very short corridor of no more than maybe four or five feet long. I found my way back to the steps I had come from, satisfied that I had felt every little stone in the walls to ascertain that there wasn't an exit. I promptly sat down on the bottom step.

Was this how I was to die? Being walled in? An oubliette?

'Wonderful. Oh well, such is death I suppose.'

Then I remember thinking that there was something wrong and I sat up straight with a feeling of mild confusion. The steps I was now sat on where carpeted and quite lushly too from the feel of it. I had walked down solid stone steps, I knew that.

I turned round in the blackness and felt the other steps behind me – yes, all carpeted.

Confused but intrigued, I began walking back up them again. Unlike the ones I had just descended, these were straight, like a stair case in a house. The others had twisted like those in a tower.

At the top of the steps I found a new door, a white one, made of white painted wood. I could see slightly better there because of a thin slither of light, that same greenish light, coming from between the door and the floor.

I took the handle and walked straight in.

Then there he was, just sat there in that ridiculously elaborate room that looked like something from a Jane Austen adaptation. He was sat on an extraordinarily delicate white sofa in front of a high fireplace, which exhibited the same strange green fire.

How should I describe him? Do you want me to? I'm not sure I want to. It'd be like I was trying to make him sound like he matters, wouldn't it and I can't have that. I don't like the idea of giving him any impression, especially the wrong one.

I suppose it's fair to say he's stark-staring mad. I mean, wouldn't he have to be? For all of this? There's me getting way ahead of myself and zapping you by magic to the present. I'm assuming you know everything and you don't and the idea is to go over things and reassess. That includes him.

I'll give it my best then.

I looked at him for a moment, he was sat over to my right as I walked in, he was sat, very still, just looking into the flames.

With better things on my mind, and being someone who was not easily intimidated or surprised, I walked over to him, standing between him and the fire.

He looked up at me and... I can't describe the look in his eyes or on his face for you, because I couldn't see it. He wore a great silly black mask that covered his entire face. It reminded me of one of those mask's actor's used in Greek plays.

I could see his eyes shining from behind small slits, but that was it.

"Right" I began, folding my arms "Let's get it over with shall we? Because either way it is going to be over with as soon as possible. You can either kill me now, or I can starve myself to death. Either way works for me" I hammered home. I left him with little room for confusion about my meaning.

"Christine" he said, his voice was soft and heavy like velvet "I love you".

Naturally, I instantly fell about laughing.

"You cannot be serious!" I eventually managed, wiping tears of mirth away from my cheeks.

"Deadly" he replied evenly.

"That is just priceless!" I laughed and held my sides as they hurt from my exertions "you crack me up mate, which is kind of ironic isn't it, considering you obviously are!"

I laughed for a while longer until after a few deep breaths I regained my composure.

"This house has never heard the sound of laughter before, you bring with you such joy" he breathed.

"Whatever, nut-job" I said, vastly more serious in tone now.

I cast my eye around the elegant room and that was when I noticed the windows. They were there, sort of. There were recesses for them and window seats below them, but the glass was missing. Instead, there were wooden boards covering the whole length of where they should be.

I glanced back at him, but he was no longer sat, but had stood and moved a good foot closer to me. I instinctively jumped. How the hell had he moved so quickly without me even noticing? I missed a beat and I cursed myself for it.

"You cannot die, my darling. You are with me now and with me you shall always be" he said, but despite being to my right, the voice seemed to come from left shoulder. I turned to look, then looked back. He was gone.

I looked back to me left and there he was. I had to admit, his theatrics had caught me off guard and I stood there like a complete idiot just staring at this masked nutter who could zip about the room like some frigging pixie.

"So you can move quickly. Wonderful. That must really be a talking point at dinner parties, or let me guess, you don't go to any because you're a freak. So you've kidnapped me for a bit of company? Oh, right, well, I've got some bad news for you then. I'm not great company. Nor do I give a rats-backside about anything you want" I railed at him, but I wasn't done yet.

"What's up? Mummy didn't love you? People were mean? Oh diddums. I don't care. Man up freak-show and you can start by showing me the door" I finished angrily.

He cocked his head to one side and I swear I saw humour in his eyes.

"Not a problem my darling" he said in that damnably calm, smooth voice. He stepped backwards all the way to the door that I had just come through and then gestured towards it with a long bony hand.

"Here is the door and you may leave through it now if you so wish" he said.

"Are you trying to be funny mate? Because I don't care how mental you are, I'll knock your chuffing block off if you are!" I growled.

I was vastly annoyed at that point and it makes me smile now as I tell you about it; I had no idea then about anything here and how things would 'progress' between me and him.

I stomped heavily over to the door and yanked it open, expecting to see the carpeted stairs I had just come up.

Instead and to my utter shock, I found myself looking out at a dark, shale covered shore and lapping at its edge was a dark pool of water that stretched out into an infinite night. Mist hovered over in the distance, which for me was not far away as I could barely see.

I boldly stepped out, my trainers making the tiny bits of flat rock click and crunch as I moved.

"Well this is different" I began, for once, lost for words.

"You wanted the exit my sweet" he said, but this time I could definitely hear sarcasm drizzling each syllable.

"Is this some sort of a joke?" I began, turning to face him with a look of utter annoyance on my face.

"No" he simply stated "This is the only way in and out. You are welcome to try and escape as many times as you like until you find it fruitless. You cannot ever leave here, my love". He did that irritating thing were he cocked his head to one side, as if he was trying to examine me in a different way.

"And escape to what? You think I want to run away? Seriously. I'm just annoyed that you haven't bothered killing me already, save me the job. So get the hell on with it" I sneered back at him.

"I would never harm you my darling Christine" he said gently, then turned and went back in through the door.

"Nutter" I muttered under my breath.

I took the opportunity to take in this new environment.

The shore of this lake lead up to a heavy, arched wooden door, not dissimilar to the one I had left through when I had awoke. The building in front of me was odd to say the least. It reached high into the shadowy abyss that seemed to strangle every non-viewable space. It was an oppressive darkness, the sort that made you want to go inside and seek warmth and light.

The height I could not ascertain, but the width, I could. The house reached out quite surprisingly far either side and I walked the length of it. The windows were bricked up from the outside too and the partially viewable second and third floors above me had the same done to their windows. It was like a strange sort of house on an underground lake or sea. Everything seemed to be in permanent, oppressing night.

The material that the house was looked like it was made from possibly granite. Some hard, glittering rock that looked like it would still stand after three nuclear holocausts.

The outside was not terribly ornate at all and just resembled, for me, a bank. Everything was angular – the windows and the only door. Nothing was pretty or aesthetically pleasing.

'Mind you' I thought, 'if it's meant to be a house underground, then it's never exactly meant to be pretty. It's meant to be practical'.

I tried to get round the sides of the house, so see how far it went back, but I couldn't. The shore finished at the edges of the building and the water touched the walls. Grumbling and muttering under my breath, I shoved my hands in my pockets and stalked inside.

Me and Weirdo were going to have to have a chat.