"So, am I Sam or Annie?"
Kerry looked up from her steaming cup of coffee. She was sitting stiffly on her hotel bed. While Kim sat in a chair to one side of it. "What?"
Kim smiled slightly, "Sam or Annie, you know that..."
Kerry shook her head and looked down, "So young."
Kim crinkled her eyes at this, "What do mean so young. I'm almost as old as you are."
Kerry tried to hide the smile that came to her face, "Well, I would have to say that I'm Nicky, and you're Terry. Because I couldn't see my own nose I am so stubborn."
Kim snapped her fingers, "Oh, right, some sort of an Affair to forget or something?"
Kerry shook her head in consternation, "An Affair to Remember."
Kim smiled sheepishly, "I knew that." Kerry resumed her staring into space. "So, I liked The King and I, what did you think about it?" Kerry didn't respond, just nodded her head. "So, how do you like your Purple people eater."
Kerry mumbled, "Fine."
Kim got up and sat back down next to Kerry on the bed. "Ker, I know that we parted on horrible, even worse than horrible terms, and then I didn't call, and then September Eleventh happened. I made bad, bad choices, and then I didn't admit that to myself, and then when I finally did. I knew that you would never let me back into your life."
Kerry shrugged, "Whatever."
Kim's frown got deeper. "What is wrong Kerry. I didn't see you at the conference, why are you in New York anyway?"
Kerry finally looked over towards Kim, "Where were you Kim. Really, where were you?"
Kim looked down towards her hands, "I went to San Francisco, but I really was planning to come back. It was just that a good friend from Med School was very short handed, and...he...practically begged me to come. I...I ran."
Kerry put her fingers on Kim's mouth. "Look, please, just stop speaking. I just...I'm not ready yet." Kim went to get up, and Kerry held on. "To talk Kim, to talk. Look, I've had a long day, you've had a long night. Can't we just get some rest?"
Kim raised an eyebrow, "Fully clothed."
Kerry shook her head an almost laughed, "Yes, it won't hurt. Tomorrow, we'll talk."
Kim woke up to Kerry crying into her shoulder. But Kim didn't think that Kerry was awake. She didn't even think about it before she started stroking Kerry's hair and murmuring reassurances to her. She thought back to before she had left for San Francisco, before all this had started, when they would just sleep like this. Fully clothed, usually in pajamas not street clothes, and cuddling. Kim
shook her head, where did they go wrong. Kerry had seemed to calm down a bit, and Kim gently climbed out of the bed and went out onto the pathetic excuse for a balcony. As she glanced back at Kerry's portable alarm clock. It wasn't Valentine's Day anymore. Kim shook her head as she leaned against the railing. This had not been one of Kim's better Valentine's Days. She put her head in her hands.
Kerry had been woken up by the abrupt change in warmth. That was one thing that Kim had always seemed to be, very warm. She glanced over at the balcony to see Kim leaning over the balcony with her head in her hands. Kerry quietly got up, and padded over to the balcony. Gently putting a hand on one of Kim's shoulders. "You okay Kim?"
Kim tried to shrug non-committedly, but failed miserably. "No, no I'm not. But we'd better get back to sleep. I guess I'll go back to my room, it's been, it's been fun Kerbear."
Kerry stood in front of the entrance back into the room. "Kim, look, I know that something is on your mind, and I..." in a small voice she continued, "It's tomorrow."
Kim smiled a sad smile. "But you must have a plane to catch."
Kerry shook her head as they both went back into the room. This time sitting across from each other on the bed. "Ah, that's where you're wrong. Cause the one good thing about being a workaholic bitch is that when you take a vacation, you get to take a vacation."
Kim shook her head in bemusement, and glanced at the rising sun that bounced off Kerry's red hair and made it glow like the harvest moon had a couple of nights ago. "You really need to do something with that Ker."
Kerry frowned, "What?"
Kim pointed at Kerry's hair, "Your hair, it is a horrible cut."
Kerry gave Kim a sideways glance, "Aren't we supposed to be mending fences here Legaspi?"
Kim opened and closed her mouth a few times, "Hey, I'm just saying..." Kerry shrugged, and let it go. Kim took a deep breath, trying to decide where to start. "You were having quite a nightmare a few minutes ago."
Kerry looked down, to stem the tears that were about to flow, "Yeah, I... remember how I told you that a while ago I hired a Private Detective to um...find my birth mother, family, whatever. Anyway, he fucked up majorly last time." Kim's head snapped up at Kerry's use of a swear, "But a few months ago he came back to find me. Seems that he had found my birth mother for real this time. It took a long time for me to debate what to do. But a few days ago I decided to go for it. He gave me the information, and I hopped on a plane to New York to find her."
Kim nodded, seemingly slipping into her Psychiatrist mode, "Did you find her?"
Kerry laughed harshly, "Yeah, I found her, and found out that she didn't want me. You know, you think that you know everything about yourself. And then boom, out of thin air comes the love of your life, and you are suddenly standing on your head in a snowstorm. And then, everything finally calms down. You lose your love, but you kinda know who the hell you are again. Then something else gets thrown on your plate. Your mother, you get to find your mother, it will tell you so many things about yourself. You could know who you really are, and
then, boom, she doesn't even know you, and yet, she hates you. All I have ever wanted in life is to please my parents, and then it was to please myself, and then it was you. I have failed everyone so much. My parents are dead, I'm simply a worker bee for that ass Romano, and you, well, I blew that all to hell several times."
Kim didn't know what to do, she was torn between staying right where she was, and scooting across the bed to give Kerry a large hug. She wound up doing the former, and staring down at the very interesting bedspread. "Kerry, you...I don't know why you would want to make me proud of you. I mean, the first time I saw you I was in awe of what you were doing. You were one of the most charismatic, most in charge, most beautiful, and smart people who I had ever met. No, but now, I wish that I had never kissed you. Started you on this whole stupid journey of yours. I was so selfish, I was so..."
Kim reeled back as Kerry reached across the short distance between them and slapped Kim. "How dare you say that." Kerry backed up into the head board shaking her head, "No, no, we both made mistakes. I need this, in some evilly perverse way. But I want it over with. You'll never guess what I did the day you left. Never guess." Kim looked confused, "I told the bastard Romano that I was a lesbian."
Kim nodded slowly, "So, does the whole hospital know? Are you okay with that?"
"Actually, the...to take a nickname from Elizabeth's vocabulary...turd is actually keeping his trap shut."
Kim nodded and happened to glance over at the bedside clock. She sighed, "I should really go Ker, I don't want to, please believe that. But I'm only here for the conference. We should..."
Kerry nodded and got up along with Kim, slipping on her ER chief mask, "Right, keep in touch. I mean, email, or we could chat, or the phone."
Kim nodded and moved towards Kerry, who stuck a hand out. Kim smiled and gently took Kerry's face in her hands, and they kissed. With that Kim left the room.