I've had the core of this written for a while. The opening is what the holdup was. Just how do you get into something such as a pineapple ring toss without just getting right down to it? Well, I've figured it out so that there is a little more dept to this one than just the smut, albeit, not much.
AND EMILY DESCHANNEL IS PREGNANT!
Pineapple Ring Toss
"No, no! Bones, not like that. You aren't supposed to stand over it and drop the rings on the bottlenecks. That isn't how you play. Here," he took the rings from her, "let me show you."
He walked a good distance away from the targets.
"Alright, now join me over here. I'm going to draw a line in the dirt right here," he took his foot and did as he said, "alright, you cannot cross that."
"How am I going to get the rings on the bottlenecks from all the way over here?"
"Luck. The more you try the luckier you'll get."
"You mean the statistical probability is that the higher number of throws will result in more success. There is no such thing as luck."
"Whatever, Bones. The more you try, the more likely you'll be to make it."
"That's what I just said. I don't understand your need for redundancy."
"Okay never mind with the luck. Let's just say that we stand back here behind the line, right, and let's say just like at a fair or a carnival you would only get so many tries each. Okay, so each of us will get five tosses each. That way it depends only on how the tosses land and not on how many times you throw it."
"Couldn't the government have sprung for a few better games to have at the annual cookout for the FBI?"
"What, and have people question the frivolous spending of the people's tax money. No, we'd never do something like that. They spent all of the funding allocated for this function on the booze, food and getting some kid named Justin Bieber to come sing or whatever. I guess that's what the greens are into nowadays."
"Well, do we really have to be here? They've already honored you for catching that serial killer who murdered all of those female retail associates from that mall. I think we could leave now; I've got some better ideas of how I'd like to spend my time," Brennan said straightening the lapels on Booth's leather jacket.
"Ah ah, Bones." He dodged her touch. "Remember no one is supposed to know about us yet, and if you go getting all touchy-feely it's going to raise suspicions."
"Oh, right, like they don't all think we've been sleeping together this whole time anyway. Are we going to play this stupid phallic game or not because if not…"
Phallic, she had to go and say phallic.
"Not. I have a better idea. Come on." Brennan dropped the rings in the dirt and let Booth drag her out of the park and towards his SUV that was parked a few blocks away.
They got in and the first thing that Booth said, as he was getting ready to drive away was, "Bones, do you have pineapple?"
"I have fresh and canned. Why?"
"Good. We won't have to stop anywhere before we get to your apartment."
"My apartment? I thought we were staying over at your place tonight; we always do."
"Change of plans. I want to make use of that nine-foot concrete slab. I have an idea for our own phallic game.
"I don't understand," Brennan said with a scrunched up nose
"You'll see."
.
"You want me to what?" She asked incredulously as they both stood in her living room, naked. She'd never heard of something more ludicrous. He'd just convinced her to remove her clothing. It didn't take much convincing; they walked around nude all the time when they were alone.
"I'm going to lay up here, and you're going to stand by the wall, over there," he pointed, "and you are going to toss these pineapple rings toward my," all of the sudden he looked shy, "my uh, my nether regions."
Brennan laughed loudly, "Booth this is ridiculous. I don't see the point in this game either. And really, after all of this time that we've been best friends and even since being together you can't just say penis? It isn't a dirty word."
"There is no point, Bones. It's just for fun. A kind of fun that if you play your cards right could end up being even better fun," he said with a waggle of his eyebrows.
"Fine," she relented but added as an afterthought, "but I'll have you know that pineapple is acidic and will burn your penis. Are you ready?" She held up the pineapple as if she were ready to toss it toward his penis.
"Uh, what? Hold that thought!" He jumped down from the slab and ran to the bedroom and then back holding up a foil wrapper. "Aha! A condom. No burning penis for me," he said, emphasizing his use of the word.
He got back into position, rolled the condom on and laid back in position.
"Okay, I'm ready."
Brennan assumed the tossing position, once more. She tossed one that missed completely, landing on his hip. She calculated in her head based on her analysis of her first throw what she'd need to do to get it closer to the target.
Her second toss bounced off of his penis, earning a strange sound from Booth.
"That felt weird," he said in defense of said noise.
"Well, tossing pineapple at one's penis is weird, Booth."
She tossed another that seemed to want to ring around him, but fell off instead.
"That was close, Bones."
"The holes aren't big enough. They need to be bigger. When you cut some of the holes in the pineapple you did not account for the girth of your glans."
"Well, go make them bigger really quickly. I'll wait."
She grabbed all of the slices of pineapple and headed toward the kitchen. She came back with a smile on her face and some juice dripping slightly down her chin.
"A slice broke when I was cutting the hole bigger, so I ate part of it, do you want the other part?"
"Sure."
She fished it from her bowl and put one end in her mouth and leaned down over his face to guide it to his mouth. He accepted the offered pineapple, making a face at the tart and sweet juices as they made his mouth water almost painfully.
She grabbed another piece from the bowl, and did the same thing, this time biting off the end in her mouth as he took his offered piece.
Then she leaned up above him, "Actually they all broke, so I won't be tossing any onto your penis, but we can still enjoy the pineapple."
She took another piece and pressed her palm to his chest as he tried to get up. "No, stay like that." She took that piece in her hand and squeezed the juice on his bare chest. She rubbed the piece all around. She ran it up his neck, across his pectorals, down his tastefully sculpted (she loved that he was fit, but not to the point where it bordered gross looking) abdomen and then dipped it in his belly button, where she left the piece of pineapple for later consumption.
She took another piece and offered it to him, via her mouth as before. This offering ended in a kiss. Once air was needed to avoid passing out, she made her way with her mouth trailing his sticky skin where she had rubbed it all over.
She found the angle awkward to stand in, so she climbed up on the stool and then up onto the slab with him where she placed the bowl of pineapple by his head and straddled him, giving her a much more desired position for the activity.
As she licked and trailed her mouth all over his upper torso, she spoke in-between, "While the pineapple activity that you had in mind is a bust, we can still make use of the table, if your back can handle the hard surface."
"My back is doing just fine, as long as you keep doing, ahhh, that." She had just nibbled on one of his nipples. She nipped her way down his abs and then down to where is hips narrowed and then back up to his navel where she claimed the piece of pineapple as her prize.
"I love pineapple," she said closing her eyes and savoring the flavor of the sticky treat.
"Me too, do you think I could have another piece, now?" He asked eager to have her mouth on his again.
"Would you rather take it from my mouth again, or would you like to take it off of me, like I just did to you?"
That would work, too, he thought.
"I'll feed you some the same way and then eat it off of you. So let's change positions."
They carefully maneuvered so that she now laid with her back on the concrete slab and he was straddling her sex with his own as he fed her a piece of pineapple with his mouth and then took a piece and squeezed it over her chest.
Her breathing hitched as the cold juice hit her skin. Booth didn't even take time to smear it around before deciding to warm her up with his mouth. He lapped up the beads of juice that formed in the crevice between her breasts. He moved his attention to one of her hard nipples that had puckered when the cold sensation of the juice first hit her.
He rolled his tongue around and flicked the bud and then sucked it into his mouth as he took his piece of pineapple and unconsciously rubbed it all over her. He moved to the other breast that was getting cold with the juice on it. He warmed it up with his hot mouth as he rubbed juice on the one he just abandoned.
He grabbed another piece and trailed down to her navel. He squeezed the pineapple above her belly button and then dipped his tongue in to lap up the juice. He squeezed some more in there and then placed his whole mouth over her belly button and sucked out the juice using a gentle pressure.
He hadn't even been above her for very long, but she was already done with the teasing and playing. She grabbed his short hair and pulled him up, begging him, "Please, Booth, just fuck me. I need you inside me, now!"
She claimed his lips hungrily as he did as she wished and shifted her hips to a better angle and she brought her legs up around his waist. Not a second later, he was encased inside her, thrusting gently at first in order to make sure that the condom was well lubricated before fucking her silly on the slab.
As he moved inside of her, a slight burn crept upon her sex.
Pineapple juice.
They had forgotten that she had thrown a few pieces that touched the condom and now the acidic juices were touching her vagina. It didn't burn so bad that it was uncomfortable; if anything, it actually heightened her senses.
"Why have we never… had sex up here… before? Jesus! Christ!" Booth growled.
"I… oh god. I have no idea! Maaaaybeee, because we spend… most of our time at your place."
"You said you like it there."
"I doooo. Ohmygod! It'sssss cozy! Oh, god, harder." She groaned.
He sped up, thrusting harder, "Like this?"
She groaned in approval.
"You like that? I'm going to make you cum so hard."
Their sweaty bodies were sticking together from the salty perspiration building up on their bodies and the sticky sweet juice of the pineapple.
"Ssssoooo… closssse," Brennan hissed, out of breath from her efforts to contribute from below.
He was right there on the precipice and now that he knew she was right there as well, he couldn't hold back any longer.
"Let go, baby," he ground out between his gritted teeth.
His words caused major explosions to ripple through her body. As she shuddered beneath him, Booth lengthened and poured into the condom. He kept moving for as long as he could stand to, to heighten the pleasure and draw it out since overall the sex didn't last very long.
He tried to roll over where he wouldn't crush her by landing on her after his arms gave out, but remembered what a drop to the floor that would be at the last second and landed on her anyway.
"Umph."
"Sorry," he gasped his apology.
"Don't worry about it. You aren't that heavy, and I would rather be crushed by you than have you plummet to the floor and break something or put you out of sexual commission for a while."
"Good to know that you don't want me to get hurt so that you can continue to have sex with me."
She rolled her eyes. "Don't be ridiculous, that isn't the only reason, but it was the only one that came to my mind right that second. You try being fucked by you and then try thinking afterward. It's very difficult, Booth."
They both laid there contently for a few minutes regaining their breathing patterns and strength to move.
"Booth, you're sticky."
"And you aren't?"
"Well, yeah, but—just please get off of me, if you can peel your skin from mine. I need a shower."
"We need a shower."
"Together?"
"Oh yeah."
Now for the drawing of the next food from the bowl of ideas. The next food is...
Watermelon!
AND
EMILY
DESCHANNEL
IS
THE
MOST
ADORABLE
PREGNANT
PERSON
EVER!
XOXO,
CrayonClown