Shattered Illusions

Summary: Yamato ran away from a past full of pain and suffering. Then, he met Taichi- a stunning image of beauty. But then, any illusion, including the most stunning, can be shattered by the smallest whisper of emotion

D-Angel: Hey guys! Welcome to chapter 2 of 'Shattered Illusions'. Thanks for all the reviews so far ;) Bleh, I'm really hoping that this writing style isn't too boring. I've attempted to jazz things up this chapter, so hopefully you guys will like :)

Tai: I think they will ;)

Matt: Ohh! Do me and Tai sha…

D-Angel: … Ahem, Yama, don't get the readers all excited before they've even started to read this chapter.

Matt: Oh, my bad!

D-Angel: Anyways, read on and enjoy!

Warnings: Strong language, mention/usage of drugs, slight guy on guy (Naturally), and loads of angst

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Chapter 2 Freedom

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Taichi starred deeply at his reflection in the mirror after he had brushed his hair. The brunette was aware that he was good looking, but it was something that he never bragged about. Unlike football, which was something he made sure everyone knew he was great at. So when he had spotted Yamato Ishida watching him as he was playing football earlier on he naturally had to walk over to guy at the end of his game, just so he could let Yamato know how much he loved football.

However, Tai was unable to believe just how cool and relaxed the blond haired man appeared to be while he was speaking to him. Yamato seemed so carefree, not worried at all that he could have been caught smoking on the university's premises. And there were also his eyes, those amazingly beautiful ice blue eyes that showed little emotion whatsoever and were probably capable of freezing someone dead on the spot.

Tai shivered a little when he heard Yamato's silky and very sexy voice echo through his head. That laid back voice that was also coated with ice, as if preventing people from getting too close.

But still, when Yamato's icy exterior was dismissed…

"… He's flawless," Tai suddenly whispered out loud, immediately regretting what he had said when he remembered that his best friend was sitting on the edge of his bed. Sora Takenouchi was patiently waiting for him to get ready so that he could drive her up to the club where everyone was meeting tonight. She narrowed her cinnamon coloured eyes as he spun around to face her.

"Who's flawless?" Sora enquired in a strong tone of voice, demanding to know who the person was. Tai let out a small nervous laugh as he attempted to come up with a reasonable excuse. Tai knew just how jealous Sora could become whenever he dared to compliment another girl's name in her presence, so he dreaded to think how Sora would react if she found out he was thinking about a guy in such a way.

" Oh.. well.." Tai stuttered, a dangerous sparkle suddenly appeared in Sora's eyes warning Tai that he would be killed painfully if he ever did lie to her. He sighed before glancing down at the horrible brown carpet that covered the floor in his dormitory room.

" This guy I saw earlier on today. I have never met someone as cool as him; he doesn't seem to have faults whatsoever," Tai explained as he raised his head again so he could see Sora's reaction to what he had just said.

" That can't make him flawless, think about it Tai," Sora replied as she stood up and smoothed down the leather coat she was wearing, "His imperfections can be drawn from the fact that he appears to be perfect."

Tai tilted his head to the side in confusion. He rarely understood what Sora was talking about half the time.

" Ugh, let me dumb it down for you Tai," Sora sighed as she walked over to the chair that Tai was sitting on, " No matter how perfect he may look, he probably has faults like the rest of us. No ones perfect."

" Whatever. Sora, you'll see what I'm talking about when you see him tonight," Tai muttered as he pushed the chair back and rose to his feet. He felt slightly agitated because Sora was challenging what he was saying. She always did though. Tai smirked to himself when he realised that was her flaw.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Tai's eyes were immediately drawn to Yamato Ishida the moment he approached club building. The blond was leaning against the brick wall coolly as if he were a model. His blue eyes were partly shut and a relaxed expression was pasted on his pale and almost feminine shaped face. A cigarette rested idly between his perfect red lips, reminding Tai on how Yamato made smoking look so cool. The brunette's glance then moved down to Yamato's clothing; a dark blue shirt which was buttoned up halfway and revealed a fair amount of his pale, hairless, toned chest. A pair of loose black jeans covered his legs somehow managing to compliment his slim figure perfectly.

' I never knew it was possible for a guy to look that hot,' Tai thought, he was now standing inches away from Yamato and was aware that he was blushing slightly.

" Yo, Tai! Are Meems and Iz coming tonight?" Timmy's enthusiastic voice asked, shattering the weird tension that Tai was feeling when he was gawping at Yamato like an idiot. Tai turned his head and saw that Timmy was standing right next to him.

" Er.. I think Mimi is, but Izzy can't because he's got some 'important' programming to do or something," Tai explained sounding a little embarrassed. He was glad when no one picked up on the embarrassment that was present in his voice. Timmy rolled his eyes then started to chat to Sora.

" Yamato, how's it going?" Tai cheerfully questioned with a confident grin spread across his face. Tai watched as Yamato raised his hand and slowly pull the cigarette he was smoking away from his lips, using his index and middle finger, before deliberately blowing a ring of smoke in Tai's face. Tai frowned and coughed a little as the smoke crept up his nose.

' Arrogant twat,' Tai's thoughts grumbled, clearly not liking Yamato's 'I'm too cool for words' attitude. Tai opened his mouth in preparation to tell Yamato off before a hand landed firmly on his shoulder causing him to jump evidently. Tai's eyebrows creased inwards yet again when Sora's arm crept around his neck. She grinned in a drunken fashion.

" Isn't he the cutest?" Sora jokingly smirked as if she was selling a puppy to a small child. Tai's eyes narrowed in irritation as Sora playfully nudged him before she tried to lock her eyes with Yamato's. Tai felt his face burn with embarrassment and anger. He was aware that Sora was doing this deliberately. She always did when Tai spoke to a girl that she knew he liked in order to put them right of the scent.

Tai managed to look into Yamato's eyes and instantly froze as he did. A wicked ice-cold glimmer had glazed over his bright blue eyes. Tai felt his heart beat increase dramatically as Yamato half-smiled in a playful manner.

" Nah, I've seen cuter," Yamato said slyly in a flat, icy but yet seductive tone of voice, intentionally keeping his eyes locked with Tai as he spoke. He then openly winked at Tai before he casually flicked his cigarette onto the floor then turned and followed Timmy and a few other people into the club.

Tai felt numb and not to mention confused. He ran his fingers through his mop of brown hair before Sora tightened her embrace on him, as if she was comforting him because of some girl that had harshly rejected him. But Yamato was no girl, and also he had not harshly rejected Tai, he had just merely said that Tai was not as cute as Sora was making out to be.

" Is he that flawless guy you were going on about earlier?" Sora questioned as they started to walk into the club. Tai grumbled when he heard the obvious sarcasm that was soaked in her voice.

" Yeah, Yamato Ishida," Tai muttered quietly, attempting to hide the strong anger he was feeling towards Sora at that moment in time. That bitch always managed to make every person that she knew who he had some sort of attraction towards, instantly put off by him. Tai realised it was purely out of her jealously, seeing as she had made it clear to him on several occasions that she fancied him. Tai had also tried to get Sora to understand that he only saw her as a friend, but so far had had little avail.

" You fancy that creep? Seriously Tai, I have no problem whatsoever with you being bisexual but…"

" Whoah, since when did I say that I was bi?" Tai asked in defence, a few people gave him funny looks as he sat down on one of the stools at the bar. He ignored their mixed expressions, though, as he gazed around the busy club, searching for the blond haired man he was becoming addicted to.

" What will it be, son?" A gruff middle aged voice asked loudly enough so that it was heard above the extremely loud pounding music. Tai turned his head and saw that the barman was leaning against his side of the bar awaiting his order. By the slightly frustrated expression on his face, Tai gathered that the barman had been standing there for quite some time.

" Oh, erm, vodka and coke please," Tai said, stuttering a little when he spotted Yamato out of the corner of his eye. The barman nodded then yelled the order to some nervous young girl who was struggling to balance the stack of glasses she was carrying towards the sink. She smiled slightly in success when she reached the sink and lowered them into the washing up bowl.

" Tai, don't try to deny what you are," Sora sighed once they had both been given their drinks. Tai took a huge gulp of his vodka and coke, before he placed the glass back onto the surface of the bar and ran his index finger around the rim of the glass.

" I'm not denying, I just happen to find this one guy amazingly cool and slightly hot, which doesn't make me bisexual." Tai explained, he slowly moved his fingers away from the glass. At that moment Tai noticed that Sora had pulled something out of her handbag, but he thought nothing of it at the time.

" Oh, then what would you call it? I mean, you've just admitted that you're attracted to that Yamato guy and I know that you've fancied girls in the past. Fancying both males and females makes you bisexual. Simple." Sora announced as if she knew it all. Tai rolled his eyes before he moved his glance away from her and looked around once again for Yamato. Tai soon gave up again, so he turned around and grabbed his drink. He downed the remaining alcoholic liquid that was in the glass, unaware that a sly smile had appeared on Sora's face.

Suddenly, a hand clasped around Tai's arm causing the glass he was holding to fall onto the bar, without breaking luckily. The smile on Sora's face faded as quickly as it had appeared.

" Tai, you boring bastard! Come and dance with us!" Timmy's voice almost drowned out the loud dance music that was echoing throughout the club. He yanked Tai up to his feet then hurriedly dragged him into the middle of the 'dance floor'. When Timmy let go off his arm, Tai realised that something was wrong. He was starting to feel woozy; beads of sweat were trickling down his forehead. Tai continued to dance with Timmy, James, Marco and a few other lads, however, until the pounding music started to hammer violently through his head causing him to stumble forward and grip onto Timmy.

" God! I can't believe that you're pissed already." Timmy sighed almost out of embarrassment as Tai tried to regain his balance. The bright flashing disco lights were now dancing around wildly in front of Tai's eyes.

" I'm fine!" Tai snapped, though he knew that he wasn't. Energy was rushing through his body like never before; his heart was pounding heavily against his chest. His surroundings were starting to become unfamiliar; they seemed so much brighter and intense. He did not like it one bit.

" Hey, where you going?" James voice asked. Tai dashed off and headed towards the far end of the club. The brunette thought that everyone was looking at him strangely, wondering why he was running blindly off the dance floor. He suddenly crashed into someone very beautiful. The person had such angelic features and passionate bright blue eyes. Tai clung onto the person tightly.

" Help me, please!" Tai cried out in fear, his head was now throbbing and his vision had become slightly impaired. So much energy was buzzing throughout him; blood was pumping like crazy around his body. He desperately looked into the eyes of Yamato before he blacked out.

The next thing he knew, he was outside spread out across the pavement with his head resting on someone's lap. Yamato was sitting besides him sympathetically running his fingers through Tai's damp brown hair. The brunette felt tired and weak and not to mention a little chilly. He soon realised that the reason was because he was topless.

" Ngh.." Tai murmured unable to talk properly because his jaw felt tight. He attempted to sit up but his limbs felt too stiff.

" Don't try to move," Yamato explained, " I'll carry you to my car and.."

" Yam..Yamato.." Tai whispered, his vision was now clear, but he still felt a little disorientated because he was unable to recognise his surroundings. Yamato gentle ran a finger across Tai's lips and hushed gently.

" You suffered a bad reaction from ecstasy," Yamato said as he carefully stood up, managing the pick Tai up and then cradled him in his arms as if he was a baby. Fear rushed through Tai's body.

'Ecstasy?' The word echoed through Tai's skull causing nausea to build in his stomach. He knew that ecstasy was a dangerous Class A drug that contained a chemical called MDMA (short for methylenedioxymethamphetamine). Tai had heard stories about people taking one single ecstasy tablet and dying as a result due to the lethal and unpredictable effects.

"Your drink was spiked," Yamato continued once they had reached his car and carefully lowered Tai onto the pavement so that he could unlock the door. Once the door was opened he carefully lifted Tai up and clambered into the car with him. Tai was still in a state of panic; he knew that had to get to hospital in case the drugs had caused him any internal damage. He was now also wondering how Yamato knew that his drink had been spiked with ecstasy.

" I need to go to hospital," Tai managed to utter, despite that his jaw was feeling so sore and stiff. He was surprised when he saw Yamato shake his head firmly before he climbed out of the car and walked around to the boot. Tai sighed out quietly before he spread his body out across the two front seats, allowing his head to rest on the driver's seat. At that moment he just wanted to sleep, but he was too afraid to close his eyes just in case there was a chance that he didn't wake up.

" You'll be fine," Yamato reassured as he got back into the car, carefully placing a box in the space in front of the passenger seat. He then lifted up Tai's head carefully before he sat down on the driver's seat. Yamato then pulled Tai onto his lap and told the brunette to open his mouth.

" Why?" Tai asked out of curiosity. Yamato answered his question by waving a bottle of water in front of his face. The brunette reluctantly opened his mouth. The blond made sure he was careful when he poured a little bit of water in Tai's mouth. Tai swallowed the water eagerly, realising just how dehydrated he actually was.

After gulping down several mouthfuls, Yamato moved the bottle away from his lips. Tai made a slight sigh of disappointment, as if he was annoyed from the loss. Tai was about to say something, but Yamato soon cut him off. The brunette's eyes widened with shock when Yamato's lips softly pressed against his own for a few moments before pulling back. Excitement tingled throughout Tai's body as reality started to sink in. Yamato Ishida had just kissed him.

But then, Yamato shattered their moment of bliss.

" That was stupid of me! Jesus! You don't even know me. Don't take that kiss personally, ok? It had no meaning."

Yamato's words stung Tai and caused him to sit up abruptly, surprising the blond haired man a little. Tai shook his head slowly from side to side as he stared into Yamato's icy blue eyes.

" I felt something," Tai said in a low tone of voice, his dark brown eyes started to sparkle, " Something which I desperately yearn for."

Yamato's cold blue eyes suddenly widened as his lips slightly parted with surprise. Tai then turned his glance away from Yamato as a tear silently slipped down his face, followed by a few more. He shut his eyes for a few seconds as he attempted to fight back his sobs.

" I felt the freedom that I crave for," Tai whimpered as he opened his eyes, allowing a new batch of tears to trickle down his tanned face. Tai was slightly startled when Yamato's arms suddenly wrapped around his waist. The blond pulled Tai close to him.

" I've felt that way since I spoke to you earlier on today," Tai continued to say as he rested his head on Yamato's shoulder. " Yamato.."

" Matt. Just call me Matt."

" Matt.." Tai echoed softly, tasting the blond's shortened name for the first time. He then snaked his arms around the blond's slim waist and pressed his body closely against Yamato's, desperate to feel more of the freedom he was eager to have.

" Can you can help me break free? I.. I hate being weighed down with so many responsibilities," Tai confessed as he continued to cry, " Ever since.. Ever since my dad left I've been expected to provide for and protect my mother and sister! I'm sick of it! I thought things would change after I went off to Uni, but I was wrong. My mum phones me every day, sometimes even twice. She never gives me space."

Tai paused for a few moments, allowing what he had said to sink into Matt's head. A few minutes of uncomfortable silence past as Tai sniffed quietly while his tears dried up. The brunette soon suddenly froze. Matt's hand was slowly rubbing up and down his back, his slim fingers were deliberately brushing against his spine.

" So, you want me to fuck you? Just so you can experience the sensation of freedom?" Matt's voice said dirtily, clearly soaked in slight sarcasm. Tai's heart skipped a beat. Sex definitely wasn't something he wanted right now. He only wanted Matt to help him become free; to help him spread his wings and fly.

" No.. I.." Tai stuttered. Matt's hands were now caressing his hips slowly and teasingly. In pure panic Tai pushed Matt away from him and screamed, " I just want you to help me!" Tai's face then burnt with embarrassment.

" I just believe that you can help me," Tai admitted gently, his eyes started to water again, " You're really cool and nothing seems to bother you. I can tell that you've tasted freedom."

Tai was very surprised when Matt, unexpectedly, started to chuckle softly. His brushed his fingers through a few strands of his golden blond hair before he looked at Tai almost sympathetically. He loved the boy's naivety.

" Ok, I'll help you, if that's what you want," Matt said once he had stopped laughing, he then leant forward and brushed his thumbs under Tai's eyes to wipe away the tears that forming, " But, if you believe that I am your source to freedom then you're completely wrong."

Tai shivered at Matt's last few chilling words. He probably would have been able to confess his true feelings towards Matt and that stage if he had not been feeling so tired and sick, as a result to taking ecstasy. The brunette barely had the strength to collapse into Matt's arms and whisper the words 'thank you' before he fell asleep.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

He watched Tai's chest softly rise and fall as he slept silently that night. Matt had taken the brunette back to his dormitory room and had allowed him to sleep in his bed. Timmy had not returned yet despite it was nearly 3 o'clock. Matt gathered that Timmy would be back soon, seeing as Tai's mobile had been ringing and beeping continuously for the past few hours, which meant that people had realised that Tai had suddenly disappeared from the club.

Matt was sitting on the edge of his bed, starring longingly at the topless brunette that was sleeping on top of the covers. The faint moonlight that was lazily leaking through the window was the only source of lighting that allowed Matt to see Tai's beautiful body. He had a wicked urge to slam his lips against the brunette's, before allowing his hands to have a little fun. The blond blushed as his thoughts turned sexual; he started to become a little flustered as all the blood in his body was drawn to one particular part of his body.

He cursed slightly under his breath. Why did Taichi Yagami have to be so God damn hot?

' Bad Matty,' Matt thought to himself as he crawled fully onto the bed and carefully straddled Tai, praying that the brunette wouldn't suddenly wake up. He was just so desperate to touch Tai.

His heart was slamming lightly against his chest as his hands carefully lowered themselves onto Tai's chest. He riskily skimmed his fingers against Tai's nipples, sighing out a little as his fingers make contact with Tai's burning hot skin. The blond froze in shock as the brunette's head slightly swayed from right to left before he whispered out something quietly.

Matt then allowed his fingers to trail down Tai's stomach, slowly, half smirking when the sleeping Tai squirmed a bit more. The blond was glad to realise that Tai was a heavy sleeper.

" Why am I doing this?" Matt suddenly asked out loud, immediately cupping one of his hands over his mouth as the words spilt out. He was now embarrassed because he had spoken his thoughts, but he was feeling much more guilty than anything for trying to take advantage over a guy that he didn't really know, a guy that he was meant to be helping. Not violating.

As Matt went to move his other hand away from Tai's chest, he jumped back in shock as the brunette's eyelids suddenly fluttered open. Naturally, Tai was startled to see Matt on top off him, straddling him with his hand dangerously close to his naked chest. Tai shifted back a little before he sat up, allowing his back to rest against the headboard. His eyes scanned the room in confusion before they finally glanced back over at Matt.

" W..Where am I?" Tai muttered, starting to shiver a little because he was not used to waking up on top of the covers.

" My dorm room," Matt said in reply rather casually, even though his legs were at either side of Tai's stretched out legs. He soon stopped straddling Tai when he realised that he might have been causing the brunette some discomfort. He shuffled over to the edge of the bed, though he rested his back against the headboard and sat closely next to Tai.

" Gee, I still feel like shit. I should have gone to hospital or.."

".. No." Matt sternly snapped causing Tai's eyes to widen in fear. However, the brunette then confidently decided to challenge.

" What do you have against hospitals?" Tai questioned, he turned his head to the side to face the rebellious young man.

" Huh?"

" You must have something against hospitals if you don't want me to go."

It was a fair point, though Matt was not entirely sure if he wanted to tell Tai the reason. It always pained him whenever he thought about it himself and he had not really talked to anyone about it before. Matt shut his eyes before cupping his forehead with his right hand and letting out a small sigh of aggravation, as if he had a headache.

" Too many bad memories," Matt eventually managed to say, but barely in a whisper. Tai heard him, however. He shocked Matt a little when he grabbed the blond's left hand in a friendly manner, in hope that he could get the mysterious young man to talk a little about his past.

" Hey, you can tell me. We're friends, right?"

Matt's heart slammed heavily against his chest when Tai said the word 'friends'. He wondered how they could already be friends, seeing as they hadn't known each other for even a day yet and also there was the fact that Tai knew nothing about his corrupt past.

Still, Matt decided that it wouldn't hurt if he told Tai part of reason why he detested hospitals.

" I just can't stand hospitals. Every time I go to one it's for a bad reason..." Matt blurted out; he kept his hand over his brow and partly over his eyes as he spoke. He opened his eyes and then shut them again causing a couple of tears to fall down his cheeks, which Tai was unable to see because of the hand that was concealing his upper face.

" … Every time I go to a hospital, someone that I care for always dies." Matt continued, he quickly wiped the tears away from his eyes and took a small breath in as he waited for Tai to respond.

" Oh… Tai replied, sounding as if he was now deep in thought about something, " You know, I can kinda relate to how that feels."

To Tai's surprise, Matt started to laugh softly, almost nervously. He lowered his head and slowly shook it from side to side.

" I doubt that somehow," The blond said coldly, a small mocking smile played on his lips as if he was in on a joke that Tai was unable to understand. He was expecting Tai to be quiet after his comment, which, if he had known Tai a bit better at the time, would have been the last thing Tai would have done in that situation.

Matt grunted in slight agony as pain lashed through his cheek. It took him a couple of seconds to realise that Tai had slapped him.

" Fuck you!" Tai suddenly snapped as his eyebrows fell inwards, "I had to sit by my dad's bed and watch him die! I visited everyday and watched as his cancer consumed him!" His whole body was shaking and quivering, tears were falling freely down his face as he confessed to Matt how his father had died. He then allowed his arms to limply fall down to his sides as he starred up at the ceiling.

" I know how it feels, so don't say that I don't," Tai said in a lowered, but stern tone of voice.

The anger that was burning in Matt's eyes was suddenly transformed into a look of sympathy.

" Well, you may know how it feels…to an extent, but.." Matt then trailed off. It was going to be difficult to say the rest. Tai moved his glance away from the ceiling and focused on Mat, who had stopped speaking in mid sentence.

" But, what?"

" But… It's a different feeling when you know that you're responsible for the other persons death."

Tai felt his blood run cold.

" A… Are you saying that you… that you're…"

" …A murderer? I guess so…"

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

D-Angel: Ohhh -dramatic music- Cliff hanger ;) I had to cut it off there because the chapter was long enough. Well? You guys like? Sorry to Sora fans, I just wanted to make a change so she is going to be a right annoying bitch in this story. I have nothing against her; she is actually one of my favourite characters, lol.

Sora :) Yey

D-Angel: Oh, and I actually did research on the drug ecstasy especially for this chapter ;) I will mention now that I have never touched the drug, or any other illegal drugs before. Oh and I've never smoked either, but I have drunk alcohol… A lot of alcohol, heh.. Well yeah anyway, thanks for reading and please remember to review on your way out ;) Chapter 3 will be posted up as soon as possible (Keep checking my profile for updates and such).

See ya all later

D-Angel-

26/06/05