Chapter 3: Reflections: Part Two, Kyoya.
Kyoya remained staring at the door as two additional maids entered and joined the first to begin packaging up the final remnants of the host club's paraphernalia, but he waited, watching the same door swing slowly closed for the second time that evening. His eyes followed every inch of its arc to the final resounding click, before realizing that Haruhi had no intention of returning. He stood still for a moment, before sighing and bringing his thumb and forefinger up beneath the edge of his glasses to rub tiredly at his eyes. It had been a long day, but the last few moments seemed to have drained the last of his reserves and now all he wanted was to return home, fall in to blessed sleep and try to forget this whole week had ever happened.
He turned away from the all too enticing exit, his eyes passing over the maids busy wrapping and packing the other painstakingly picked china, until his eyes lit on the debris that Haruhi had left strewn on the floor, and the sole unbroken saucer caught his eye. Making his way over to where it lay amongst the other shattered pieces, he picked it up, carefully avoiding the broken shards of china that surrounded it. Turning it over in his hands, he noticed that although it had remained relatively intact there was now a chip that marred its gilded edge and shallow cracks defacing the fine glaze that coated the surface. He rubbed his thumb over the roughened edge repeatedly, a sad smile reaching his lips as he mused on how closely this sole piece of china mirrored his group of friends today. The group that Tamaki had somehow, in his own wonderful, crazy way had gathered together over the past two years. Still held together somehow; but on the verge of breaking apart, and one piece seemingly removed entirely.
He made his way slowly to his old desk and sat, turning the saucer over and over in his hands, staring pensively at the twirling pattern of the china as it revolved in his grasp. Ignoring the maids as they packed and cleaned, barely noticing the steadily darkening evening outside the windows; trying not to focus on anything really, only blues and greens and gold changing to white, over and over again. But the revolving colours seemed to draw him in, and with the spinning colours the memories of the past week cascaded through his mind.
Memories of the day that Tamaki had moved into the main Suoh residence...
Tamaki had called him repeated that day, but that was nothing new - Tamaki called him numerous times almost every day, normally to talk incessantly about crazy grandiose plans for the next host club session, or to gripe about the twins teasing him, or the twins bothering Haruhi, or just to talk about Haruhi, his beloved daughter….
Kyoya had been busy that day, ironically, looking into what the lawyer of the Suoh household was up to and trying to figure out what it what it could mean for Tamaki's future. By the time he received Tamaki's message to say that he was being accepted into the Suoh residence, it was too late and Tamaki was already firmly ensconced in the main house, without his staff, his dog, or his phone, - and Kyoya was left with no way to contact him and no idea what to say if he had. With Tamaki's message came a feeling of dread that lodged in Kyoya's stomach, a feeling that things were changing, and not necessarily for the better.
When he had finally seen him at the start of the new term, Tamaki had told him of his grandmother's orders that he was only to attend classes at Ouran and then return home to study the Suoh business; he would no longer be able to attend the host club, or socialize in any way with his friends. And though Kyoya could see how isolated he had become, Tamaki had been so happy about being finally accepted and so determined that he would make Grandmother Suoh proud and so sure that his isolation was only temporary, that Kyoya hadn't the heart to burden him with his fears, or to stand in Tamaki's way. So he merely waited to see what would happen next.
Kyoya felt a swell of anger towards the Suoh matriarch. She had always looked down on her illegitimate grandson- had never wanted to see him as a worthy heir and lately she was constantly testing the limits of his loyalty. No matter what he accomplished, whether it was the highest grades, a perfect piano recital, charming the important daughters of his grandmother's clients or behaving perfectly at the rare family function he was invited to attend. None of it seemed to matter to her.
She had always shown that she detested the idea of the Host Club but had never interfered in it, as if she had, it would have shown that she had acknowledged Tamaki in some small way. But Kyoya had always known that when the day came that she finally did accept Tamaki as the Suoh heir, she would find some way to destroy it. In that she had actually surpassed even Kyoya's expectations, instead of taking the club away from Tamaki, she had done worse; she had taken Tamaki away from the club.
She knew that the threat of never allowing him to see his mother again was enough to make him comply with her wishes and god knows his father never seemed to stand up for him, but no, that wasn't enough for her. It seemed that she was going to use every card she had to hand to keep Tamaki in line, and if the threat of keeping his mother away wasn't enough, she was going to use Haruhi's secret to make him feel guilty for ruining the girl's life, and bringing shame on the Suoh name. One more thing his grandmother would use to bind Tamaki to her will, one more thing she could use to tear their little club apart.
Kyoya had wanted nothing more than to go to the School Chairman and demand that he stand up for his son, for him to defend Tamaki and his place in the host club, which was the most popular one in the school and the most influential - but Kyoya hadn't dared do it. The alliance between the Ootori's and the Suoh's was a difficult and delicate one to negotiate and Kyoya's tenuous relationship with his own father and the fear of what he might do if his son had stood in his way or interfered in the alliance between the two families had given him pause. That hesitation had cost Tamaki and Kyoya their self-made little family, but they weren't the only ones affected by this.
Hikaru and Karou had been furious - the one group they had finally willingly become a part of - all thanks to Tamaki's tenacious will - was being pulled apart. Mitsukuni was in tears and Takashi, well, it was hard to tell what Takashi was thinking most of the time, but Kyoya was willing to bet that if Mitsukuni was upset, Takashi was pretty irate. While the twins and the others were all for rushing in and rescuing Tamaki, they were bound by the same ties Kyoya was. Their families all had dealings with each other and to interfere in Suoh family business couldn't bode well for any of them. Or Tamaki.
But it was thoughts of Haruhi that plagued him now. Of how she had become the most recent pawn in Grandmother Suoh's plans. Haruhi was the one who had been dragged unceremoniously into their world against her will and had her life taken over, while never really being part of theirs. She above them all, was the one with the most to lose, the one who, with a flick of the Chairman's pen could have lost her scholarship and have been expelled from Ouran, would have lost the future she worked so hard to achieve -and yet she was the one that had fought so hard for them all.
How was it that she was the one that was brave enough to face the Chairman? To demand his help, and point out his fear. Why was she the one to put herself in the firing line for them all?
When Kyoya had received the message that Haruhi and the twins had gone to the Suoh Headquarters and were meeting with the Chairman, he had felt a brief twinge of irritation at their interference. He had dragged Tamaki there, unsure of what to expect, and then had stood frozen beside Tamaki in the doorway of the Chairman's office and watched as Haruhi; such a small slight figure, had stood tall against the Suoh Chairman and demanded answers.
Kyoya had found himself awed by her, that she would take a stand when the rest of them feared to do so. Tamaki had strode forward demanding that she stay quiet, but Kyoya had been unable to move, silenced by the strength and anger in her eyes. The hurt that entered those dark eyes as she listened to Tamaki tell her that she had to leave as she was being bothersome had made him want to look away. As she turned to leave, her eyes met his for the briefest of moments, and he saw that hurt fade, as if reluctant to let another see it, instead her eyes narrowed in determination and he felt an unfamiliar wave of shame under that steady gaze. And then it was gone and she was gone, striding past him out the door, the others following after, while he remained frozen in the doorway, doing nothing to help.
As Tamaki walked by him to return to school, Kyoya had glanced back at the Chairman and knew in that moment that the club was finished. The Chairman loved his son, but if the club was going to interfere with Tamaki becoming the Suoh heir, by its members causing scenes in the Suoh headquarters - something that would surely come to Grandmother Suoh's attention - then Kyoya knew the Chairman would remove that obstacle. Kyoya sighed as he turned away, if only Haruhi had stayed away….
Then her actions this evening had left him feeling so wrong-footed. Her pleading for him to help her fix the host club and help Tamaki, had made him feel inexplicably angry. Didn't she know he wanted to? But he was caught in the middle, and if she hadn't interfered he might have been able to think of something? But it was too late now. So he had lashed out at her and her reaction had been startling to say the least.
The words she spoke and the sight of her dashing the china to the ground still shocked him. Haruhi, usually so calm; normally taking everything in her stride, was talking down to Kyoya, breaking china and crying? He was still unsure of why he found himself pulling her away, into his arms, holding her close and trying to comfort her. And when her crying spell had passed, he had felt relief; it was a just passing moment. That was all.
Until he looked at her, and those dark eyes had met his, and even now he still felt that feeling of being drawn in, drawing closer, wanting something….
Someone cleared their throat nearby and he looked up dazedly at one of the maids, who was regarding him curiously. From the way she was looking at him, she had obviously been trying to get his attention for a while. He found himself floundering for a moment, unable to remember her name and he shook his head slightly to clear it, coming back to his senses as he straightened from where he was slouched in his chair.
"Yes Mariko? What is it?" he said finally.
"I'm sorry to bother you Ootori-sama, I just wished to let you know we had finished. I have arranged for the sets to be returned to the house and placed in storage until you require them again."
"That's fine. Thank you Mariko." The maid remained where she was, still regarding him uncertainly.
"Was there something else?" he asked a little sharply. He felt a brief twinge of remorse as he watched her give a little start of surprise at his harsh tone, but he remained silent and a moment later she gestured to a small box that lay on one of the coffee tables.
"I just wondered Ootori-sama, what you wished done with the remaining pieces of that set?" She nodded to the piece he still held in his hands. "They are very pretty. It seems a pity to just dispose of them."
He stood and made his way to the box, peering in he saw that only two cups and saucers remained, and the small coffee pot and an even smaller cream-jug. He stared at them for a moment, before placing the chipped saucer he still held in his hands to rest gently amongst the other items.
"I'll take care of them." He said quietly without looking up, not quite knowing why he had said it at all, he should just have let her take them away. "That's all for the evening, you may return to the house." He heard the maid make her way to the door, but when he failed to hear the door opening he looked up once more, his eyes narrowing in annoyance.
"What is it now?" His tone became cold as his impatience rose. Normally his dark manner alone would be enough to send a maid scuttling away, but Mariko straightened her shoulders under the Shadow-King's gaze and he found himself admiring her tenacity, if not her obvious lack of self-preservation instinct.
"I just….well…. you don't seem quite yourself Ootori-Sama," She said haltingly, "I just wondered….if something was wrong…. or if perhaps you were unwell?" She seemed to freeze as if expecting a rebuke.
He almost laughed as he watched her stumbling over her words. Normally he would have told her in no uncertain terms that she had no place to question him, about anything; and that if she did so again she would be looking for employment elsewhere. But honestly he hadn't the energy for any of it tonight and her remarks had hit a little too close to home. Something was wrong - many things were wrong really and frankly he was sick of it.
"No, I'm fine. Ootori's are always fine." He said finally, quietly, not bothering with his usual dark glare, "That is all Mariko, you can leave." This time his tone brooked no argument, she left and he was finally alone.
He looked around the empty room, everything was cleared, all signs that the Host Club had ever been there had been wiped away. His eyes were drawn to the spot where he and Haruhi had stood barely half an hour before and he felt the phantom sensation of her warm skin and soft hair on his fingertips. Suddenly he found he didn't want to be here in this empty room any longer, and he picked up the box that held the remnants of Haruhi's tantrum, and made his way to the door, pulling it open, flicking off the light, and walking away without a backward glance. Although as he walked down the corridor, he would have been lying if he had said that he didn't pause for a moment when he heard the door click shut behind him.
He made his way swiftly down the stairs, and through the side doors where his driver waited, opening the door of the car the moment Kyoya appeared. Stepping in, he placed the box gently down beside him, before leaning back in the seat, sighing in relief as the door closed behind him and the chauffeur made his way around the car to the driver's side. He was about to direct him to take him home, when he saw the main entrance doors swing open, and the object of his most recent thoughts walked through.
Haruhi stood there for a moment, illuminated in a pool of lamplight and Kyoya's hand reached instinctively for the door handle, wanting to call to her, wanting to offer her a ride home, wanting….that something again. The moment his fingers touched the handle, he saw another car pull up, one he recognized easily. The car's door opened and Haruhi stepped forward, but her eyes swept over the schools driveway, alighting briefly on his car and he imagined that her eyes met his for a moment despite the dark evening and the tinted glass that separated them. Then she ducked into the other car and was swiftly driven away.
He cursed the Hitachiin twins under his breath and then wondered at his reaction, before shaking it off and facing forward. He met the chauffeur's eyes in the mirror and nodded shortly. The car moved off, taking him home, but he couldn't help reaching into the box beside him, retrieving the damaged saucer and spinning it through his fingers once more, allowing the feeling of cool china against his skin to calm the sensations that lingered on his fingertips, distracting him from the memory of soft skin, and the silken strands of hair that he had carded those fingers through over and over again.