Gee, sorry I didn't update... but I have a life that I like living. Gawd.

Anyway, who really cares. Here's something exciting for you to know before reading further:

This story was published on 4-20-08. hahaha. No wonder it's so messed up! Not saying that I'm a pot head or anything... but if I was, it would just make sense, amiright? ahem...

disclaimer! I own a pair of broken sunglasses because I'm too lazy to put them in a glasses case, which I also own but obviously don't use. I own nothing else. For instance, everything in this story... not mine!

Chapter Three: The Lunch Table of Jealousy

"Go to school, you dumb bitch!" Charlie screamed right into his daughter's ear. It was the morning before Bella's first day of school, and she was already ready to go. "Or… if you don't go to school, you'll become a dumb bitch!" Charlie giggled at his own, idiotic joke.

Bella ignored her dad. Instead, she approached the platter of pancakes, and shoveled two golden brown discs onto her plate. (Such a dramatic way to say 'she grabbed breakfast,' eh?) As Bella took her place at the table, Charlie threw several kitchen utensils in the general direction of her face. He missed her completely, but caught her attention nonetheless.

"Are you trying to kill me!?" Bella cried, failing to recognize the obvious.

"Yes," Charlie stated, matter-of-factly. "Are you deliberately eating my pancakes?"

"Yes -" Before Bella could finish her thought, Charlie pranced over and spit on her pancakes. "Ew. Take them back!"

"Okay," Charlie took back his pancakes, a stupid smirk spreading across his face. He ate them. Bella became depressed.

"Stop trying to get attention by being depressed and GO TO SCHOOL!" Charlie demanded.

"Okay."

So, Bella went to school.

At school, Bella met an annoying girl named Jessica. Jessica's voice was equivalent to the grating of metal on metal. As irritating as that was, Bella didn't want to look like a freak walking alone, so she forced Jessica to be her friend.

"If you don't pretend to be my friend, I'll break into your house at night and pluck out all of your eyeballs!" Bella whispered to Jessica at the end of class.

"Uh, okay," Jessica agreed, but studied Bella with a raised eyebrow. "So, let's go to lunch?"

"Mmkay."

Jessica led Bella to her lunch table, where a bunch of random peoples already sat. Bella realized she had no interest in these mere mortals that Jessica was introducing her to, as her attention had been captured by a group of five amazingly attractive individuals at a table across the room.

"Wow, I hate you people, bye!" Bella sneered and skipped away.

"What?" Jessica was confused, but decided to forget about it. Instead, she began to dance with her lovely friends Angela and Lauren because dancing, according to the three of them, was fun.

Meanwhile, Bella approached the lunch table of the attractive peoples. As she stepped closer, five pairs of golden eyes stared in her direction curiously.

"Hello, friends!" Bella greeted them warmly, "I was just wondering if -"

"You could sit with us?" The black haired girl said, finishing Bella's sentence.

"Uh, yeah," Bella continued, "My name is-"

"Bella…" The black haired girl interrupted again. Usually, Bella would've been frightened by the notion that a stranger knew her name. But, she remembered that the flight attendant she had battled with only days before also randomly knew her name. How strange! Bella tried to explain her situation to the hot people sitting before her, but good ol' Blackie kept interrupting.

"Right… I just moved here from-"

"Pheonix, Arizona-"

"to live with-"

"my dad, Charlie-"

"Well, my dad Charlie. Not yours. I mean, unless you're a love child of his..."

"No. You have 0 siblings."

"Okay. Well, can I-"

"Sit here? No. Go away."

"Wow, you're-"

"Incredibly Annoying," the black haired girl finished the statement yet again.

"Yeah!" Bella was amazed at this point and asked, "Hey, are you one of them new fangled psychics!?"

"Well, actually I am, and my name is Alice, by the way. You know, we don't want the author to have to keep referring to me as 'the black haired girl!'" Alice chuckled. No one else laughed because it wasn't really that funny. This made Alice sad, even though she had predicted that her joke would be boring and stale. She continued, "Anyway, yeah. Everyone in Sporks knows everything about you already. That's what happens when you move to a hick town, so none of my info was really based on any visions."

"Oh, I see," Bella said, slightly disturbed.

"Yeah. Everyone in this cafeteria knows your birthday is in September. They know that the last four digits of your social security number are 6439. And, they know you only have eleven toes!" Alice explained.

"Woah! That's so gross! Only eleven toes!? Wait no… I don't have eleven toes!" Bella said, quickly taking off her shoes and socks to confirm that there would only be ten toes to find. But, when Bella glanced back to the table, all five gorgeous, golden-eyed peeps were gone!

"Golly gee whiz," Bella muttered, then went to join Jessica and the other girls as they bumped and grinded (or ground? whichever you prefer) back at the terrible lunch table where they accepted Bella and gave her a seat.