By the Trials of Fire

"You will face your greatest opposition when you are closest to your biggest miracle."
―Shannon L. Alder

It's a white room. A plain white room. No adornments, no objects. Nothing. Isn't it unnerving, to see pure white everywhere? Doesn't your blood run cold, your sanity slip away? It's destructive. It's pure hell. Alone, cold, empty, lifeless. Will I die here?

Chirping. Blinded. Awakened. It's morning. Stretching, he rose from his spot, his hair still as wild, his face dried from tears. The sense of relief runs from his veins. He doesn't find himself there.

Going out of his room, silence fills the halls, shrouded in darkness. The beautiful rays of the sun hasn't pierced the horizon, it seemed. Groggily, he went downstairs, getting himself a glass of water and went out to the veranda. Sitting on a nearby chair, he felt a slight chill on his skin. What a time to be free, he thought. Drinking his water slowly, he crossed his legs and savored the cool liquid that was going down his throat.

He sat there for an hour, until he managed to see the sun rise. Such splendor, grace and beauty fills the skies. The once blanketed heavens become replaced, the new skies adorning it. Going back inside, he set his glass down the table and began getting himself breakfast.

Sitting down the chair, he ate his breakfast quite boringly, somewhat playing with his food before he ate it. It seemed that he hasn't accustomed himself to his new found freedom. After managing to finish his food, he stood up and went back to his room, wanting to find time alone for himself.

Awakening to the sound of his own alarm, Tino rubbed his eyes and went out of his room. Meeting Mathias in the hallway, he waved to him sleepily, in which he got a plain reply. Still not in his proper mindset, he gave it no mind, yawning, then went downstairs. Beginning to prepare breakfast, he took out from the cupboards and refrigerator his ingredients and began cooking.

Soon after, the others followed, Berwald, Lukas, and then Emil. The three, finding no sign of Mathias around them, became slightly perplexed with how Mathias had been acting. Although shrugging it off, they somewhat couldn't place their thoughts on something, and then focused on their daily tasks efficiently.

Days passed by, and Mathias had been doing the same things. Going out way too early, then going back to his room, staying there all day. The four had been worried, at some extent, on how Mathias had been faring. They knew why Mathias was away for so long, and they couldn't just ignore the fact that their brother is suffering something they can't cure. Knowing that they had to do something, Tino planned for them to have a picnic in the incoming week. All in agreement, Lukas went to Mathias' room, knocking once, twice, then thrice.

"Anko, you there?"

"Ja, Lukas! Gimme a minute!"

Opening the door, a cheerful Mathias beheld him. His hair still in its wild style, and his face plastered with a smile. Coughing somewhat, he went inside the room, Mathias trailing behind him.

"Is something bothering you, Anko?"

"It's nothing really! I'm just adjusting to things!"

"Ah, I see. By the way, Tino planned that all of us should have a picnic next week. You're coming, alright?"

"Ja, sure Lukas! I'll join you guys!"

Finding that nothing has been wrong, for now, Lukas went out of the room, with a click of the door signaling that he had left.

Still, days went on, and Mathias has still been exhibiting his weird behavior. Everyone still bought the adjustment excuse, but even they couldn't help but think that there's something wrong with their brother. As if something dangerous lurks on their brother's presence. Wanting to find out since then, they had been monitoring him secretly. Berwald during eating times, Lukas during the morning, Emil at the afternoon, and Tino at the evening. Having their own ideas and findings, they held a small family meeting, excluding Mathias. Each told their own findings. Slowly by slowly, they pieced their own idea of what has been troubling their brother, and none of them couldn't give even a mutter onto it.

In shock and disbelief, they couldn't believe he had been suffering this for a very long time, ever since they had seen him explode. Berwald in silence, Tino in disbelief, Emil in pity, and Lukas in shambles, they finally understood why Mathias had been secluded and sad at random times, even understanding the impulses of their brother.

Adjourning the meeting, each and everyone went back to their rooms, with their minds baffled by how Mathias had been sick all along. Clicks, one after the other, the household had retired for the night, the lights closed and the rooms silent. Slowly, each fell into their own slumber, somewhat wishing in any deity that their brother be cured.

The notebook, mistakenly left on the table, had been touched by breezes of cold wind. Pages slowly turning, three words, highlighted by circles and ink, are found written on the center, in a rushed fashion.

Borderline Personality Disorder

A.N.: Hello! Finally I managed to make this chapter!~ Phew~ Hehehehehe~ I had a hard time writing this, given on how I make my stories. By the way, the idea of Mathias suffering from BPD is my idea. I had this idea days before, since the time I role played with someone. It made me think that Mathias did suffer this illness. Given that he is impulsive, he has issues with relationships (aka his family), and he doesn't deal with abandonment well, as well as he manages to over amplify his emotions in some cases. And yes, I pieced this idea too by basing on how the fandom sees Mathias as a person, so I may be wrong, but I'll stick to this for the story~

Do read and review! Love, LoT~