This one is inspired by a guest's suggestion and a recent episode of Untold Stories Of The ER.
I have this as an AU ending for the episode 'Physical Fatness'
TAPEWORMS
Mr. and Mrs. Howell were on their way to lunch after giving the Skipper the reducing pills for his diet.
"Thurston dear I can't help but think that we are forgetting something about those reducing pills do you remember?" Lovey asked.
"No dear," Thurston replied. "But don't worry it'll come to us!"
0o0o0o0o0o
"Oh, no!" Skipper replied in horror as Gilligan dropped the Professor's empty dye bowl and stared in shock at his blue-green luminous glow.
"Skipper," Gilligan called out. His eyes were wide with panic as he touched his face. "Skipper do something!"
As the Skipper and the Professor ran to him he fell to his knees and began gagging and retching.
"Gilligan, Little Buddy are you okay?" The Skipper asked while experiencing a little pain in his stomach but ignored it.
"I don't feel so good!" Gilligan replied weakly and then not only threw up some of the dye but almost everything he ate today.
"Oh my gosh!" The Skipper replied worriedly then looked angrily at the Professor. "Professor how could you leave the bowl by Gilligan where he was eating. Now he probably has that phosphorus poisoning!"
"But Skipper. . ." The Professor replied noticing how intimidating the Skipper looked now.
"NO BUTS PROFESSOR!" The Skipper was practically yelling now as he picked Gilligan up. "WE HAVE TO GET BACK TO CAMP AND FIND SOME CHARCOAL!"
"SKIPPER LISTEN TO ME!" The Professor yelled as they all followed the Skipper back to camp. "THE INGREDIENTS I USED FOR THE DYE ARE SODIUM, CALCIUM, AND A COUPLE OF BIOLUMINESCENT LIFE FORMS."
"WHAT?" Everyone asked as the Skipper laid Gilligan on one of the lounge chairs.
"A type of rare plankton that glows as well as a type of fungus. . . " The Professor started as Gilligan sat up and threw up some more of the dye as well as chunks of crab and pineapple.
"FOXFIRE?" Mary Ann asked. "We had that in the woods behind our farm I recognize the glow!"
"Yes that's it exactly!" The Professor replied.
"Then why is he so sick?" Skipper replied grinding his teeth and experiencing another sharp pain in his stomach but ignoring it again.
"Well all he has been doing for the past few days is eat!" The Professor replied folding his arms. "And whenever anyone stuffs themselves to maximum capacity is bound to be violently ill."
"Well are those planktons and funguses poisonous?" The Skipper asked as he wrung out a sponge in a water bucket and placed it on his still glowing first mate.
"No they shouldn't be!" The Professor replied sighing as he sat down on the lounge chair next to Gilligan.
"One of our cows ate some and was glowing for about a week!" Mary Ann replied as she covered Gilligan with a blanket.
"I'm so sorry everyone!" The Professor replied as he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I never should've put the bowl there I'm sorry Gilligan!"
"It's okay Professor!" Gilligan replied weakly. "Everybody's allowed to make mistakes now and then!"
"How are you feeling?" The Professor asked as he felt Gilligan's forehead.
"Like I've been punched in the stomach by a gorilla!" Gilligan replied.
"I should have something in my hut that can settle you stomach," the Professor replied. "We'll make that into a tea for you!"
As he got up he heard a loud grumbling coming from the Skipper's stomach. He raised an eyebrow at him.
"You know Skipper you can eat something now that your diet is over!" The Professor replied as he walked away.
"Skipper do you want anything while I'm making the tea?" Mary Ann asked as she walked toward her baking oven.
"No thank you Mary Ann!" The Skipper replied as he removed the damp sponge from Gilligan's forehead and ruffled his hair. "I'll just have a banana!"
0o0o0o0o
"PROFESSOR, PROFESSOR, PROFESSOR!" The Professor hears Gilligan shouts as he reads his book while sitting against a tree.
"What is it Gilligan?" The Professor asks getting up.
It was a week later and Gilligan comes running up, still having a little glow to him after drinking the dye, and nearly knocks the Professor over.
"I was fishing in the lagoon when the line snagged a crate," Gilligan replied. "I pulled it ashore and it says Scitoibitna."
"Excuse me?" The Professor asked as he followed Gilligan to the lagoon.
"Here it is!" Gilligan replied as they approached.
The Professor followed Gilligan to a large square crate that had a big red medical symbol on it. His eyes widened as he read the label.
"Gilligan you were reading it backwards." The Professor replied. "This crate is full of antibiotics. Let's bring this back to the supply hut."
The Professor and Gilligan brought the crate back to the supply hut and opened it up. Inside the crate were several packaged syringes and needles and several different types of antibiotics. The Professor discovered the booklet for the antibiotics and browsed through it. He picked out one of the antibiotics and held it up.
"This one is for..." he started to say and looked in the booklet and then rolled his eyes. "Antibiotic drops for the eye."
"Gee that would've been useful for when Ginger's eye swelled!" Gilligan stated.
"Yes and now we have this in case it happens again." The Professor replied. "Let's see we have antihistamines for colds, antibiotics for cuts to prevent infections, antibiotics for influenza. There is even aspirin and insulin in here."
"What's Praziquantel?" Gilligan asked reading one of the bottles.
The Professor looked at the bottle Gilligan was holding and looked in the booklet.
"That is used to fight infections brought on by parasitic worms," the Professor read.
"Parasitic worms!" Gilligan repeated.
"You know like tapeworms," the Professor began. "They can get into humans through uncooked meat if they eat it and cause all sorts of intestinal problems."
"Gross," Gilligan replied.
"Indeed," the Professor replied.
Skipper winced as he knocked on the Howells door. For an entire week the Skipper had had a stomach ache and was bloated and constipated. The Professor said the if he didn't have a bowel movement soon then he'd have to perform an enema. At that moment Mrs. Howell came to the door with her bathrobe on backwards. The Skipper ignored that fact and smiled.
"Good morning Captain!" Mrs. Howell replied smiling. "How are you feeling this morning?"
"Still not good Mrs. Howell!" He replied wincing. "Here are your reducing pills back!"
"Why thank you!" She replied with concern.
"Did they have the same effect on you?" The Skipper replied wincing.
"I'm afraid I can't remember," she replied looking thoughtful. "They've been in the trunk for a while!"
At that moment a loud gurgling came from the Skipper's stomach and he felt pain in his lower back. He smiled weakly at Mrs. Howell.
"Well see you later Mrs. Howell!" The Skipper replied and walked quickly away.
Lovey put her pills on top of the cabinet and went into her and Thurston's closet where he was waiting for her smiling hungrily and already beginning to rise. She smiled and let her bathrobe fall to the ground.
The Skipper hurried into one of their makeshift outdoor bathrooms a little away from camp, which were shaped like a couple of big old fashioned outhouses made of bamboo. The toilets were small ditches dug in the ground with seats made like a stool of bamboo, sticks, and the old toilet seats from the Minnow. He closed the door behind him, undid his pants, and sat down. He sighed as he let out a huge fart and a squelch as his movement began and winced as he felt a sharp pain in his stomach.
The girls joined Gilligan and the Professor in the supply hut just as they finished emptying the medical supply crate Gilligan caught while fishing. Ginger rolled her eyes at the antibiotic eyedrops. Mary Ann picked up what looked like a very thin turkey baster.
"What's this?" She asked.
"That is an enema!" The Professor replied and Mary Ann immediately put it down.
Mary Ann and Ginger looked at each other and winced.
Thurston and Lovey were all dressed and tidying up a bit. Lovey picked up her pills and was about to put them back in her trunk when she glanced at the bottom of the bottle. She could just make out the tiny words that said Mexico.
"Hmmmm, Mexico!" Lovey replied trying to remember when she got those.
"Egads I remember those! We got them from that doctor who was experimenting with. . . ." Thurston replied as they both gasped.
"TAPEWORMS!" They both replied and ran out of the hut.
They rushed into the supply hut calling for the Professor. He, Gilligan and the girls looked up as they ran in.
"What's wrong?" The Professor asked with a worried expression.
"We've made a horrible mistake!" Mr. Howell replied.
"Last year we were in Mexico and I wanted to loose a few pounds so I got these reducing pill from this doctor!" Mrs. Howell replied.
"What's so horrible about that?" Ginger asked confused.
"Because this doctor was experimenting with...um Tapeworms!" Mr. Howell replied wincing.
Everyone gasped.
"That means that the Skipper has Tapeworms in him!" Gilligan replied worriedly.
"PROFESSOR HELP COME QUICK!" They heard the Skipper shouting in the distance.
The Professor and Gilligan ran out of the hut and over to the bathroom area. They could definitely smell that the Skipper had a bowel movement because it smelled like something had just died. The Skipper was leaning against the wall and looking pale.
"Ugh um what's wrong?" The Professor asked already knowing the answer.
"Just look what came out of me!" The Skipper replied pointing shakily.
The Professor went into the bathroom and looked into the toilet. Sure enough amongst the solid and liquid bowel movements were long squirming worms.
"I don't know what I could've eaten to have caused that!" The Skipper replied moaning and putting a hand on his forehead.
"It wasn't something you ate!" The Professor replied while pinching his nose. "The Howells got those reducing pills from a doctor in Mexico who were experimenting with Tapeworms."
"What! Why I outta. . ." The Skipper began as his stomach gurgled again. "Um should I. . ."
"Yes go!" The Professor replied quickly as the Skipper ran back into the bathroom and slammed the door. A second later there was more farting and squelching as the Skipper moaned.
Fifteen minutes later after they had set the contents of the bathroom on fire to get rid of the worms the Professor and Gilligan took the Skipper back to the hut and put him in his hammock. Gilligan wrung out a sponge in a water bucket and placed it on his Captain's forehead and the Professor prepared a cocktail of antibiotics for him to take.
"I'll have you on this regime for about two weeks!" The Professor replied as the Skipper swallowed the pills. "This'll kill off any remaining worms inside along with the infection."
"Thank you Professor!" The Skipper replied as Gilligan removed the damp sponge from his forehead and ruffled his hair. Then there was a knock on the door.
"Can we come in?" Came Mr. Howell's voice.
"Yes!" Gilligan replied as the Howells walked in.
"Skipper please accept our humble apologies!" Mr. Howell replied.
"Yes we never should have gotten them in Mexico!" Mrs. Howell replied. "I just threw them in my trunk and forgot all about them. We are so sorry!"
"It's all right Mr. and Mrs. Howell!" The Skipper replied yawning. "Just don't let it happen again."
"Thank you Captain!" Mr. Howell replied.
"Yes and get well soon!" Mrs. Howell added.
0o0o0o0o
Two and a half weeks later the Professor gave Skipper a clean bill of health and expressed that their shouldn't be any overall side effects.
"Thanks Professor!" The Skipper replied hopping off the table. "I hope I never go through that again."
"It shouldn't as long as we properly cook our food and dig the bathrooms far from camp." The Professor replied as they left the hut.
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