The Words I Long to Say

Nonchalant shoppers, bags beside, fit between the others like smugglers; in a rush, as if on fire. Caramel eyes, however, spied a different sight – Matt Ishida – beautiful best friend; all else turned slow-motion within their anticipation.

Imagine if he wore my clothes for just one day; he'd know how much I need him, and how tricky this is for me, Tai thought, a blank face to the floor, the floor covered by millions of passing shoes of colours and schemes.

The pair came to a blue fountain in the centre of the mall; washed tiles smiled with the sunlight shining through the glass roof and sides. And the friends, too, smiled; their need for seats satisfied.

"I am sorry about losing your bag" Tai's view shrunk to the ground.

Blonde bangs ducked under to meet Tai's face. "Nobody's perfect – and nobody should expect you to be. It's only human to make mistakes"

Matt's voice sounded a little agitated – agitated to think that his best friend would think he'd be mad about a small thing like a bag. Despite the tone, the statement did the trick and the brunette smiled broadly – instantly happy once more.

"Let's get out of here"

Those eyes looked at Tai in their special way, and those lips smiled sincerely.

Summer had yet to end, autumn had yet to enter, but orange and brown leaves decorated the pavement a forest floor design, and dotted birds sang an early October ballad.

"Matt" Tai began, knowing he had to burn the bridges behind him.

"Yeah?" This had to be it.

"I can't afford to play a waiting game on something that will probably never come, and I've been afraid. Afraid since I met you" A kick of the leaf corpses, then back down again.

Tai halted, then the clueless Matt.

"I never wanted to take any chances, but I've told myself over and over again – I want us to be more than just friends" The brunette finally took his chance.

"Is this an honest emotion?" And Matt's heart defences retaliated.

"There were times I thought my heart was pretending, but now I'm sure I'll always feel this way" Tai touched, a feather touch, to a pale hand.

And Matt allowed himself love, if only for a second:

"It'd only end in heartbreak – things like that always do" Hand pulled roughly back.

Teary caramel to icy blue;

"I know you feel this way, but don't you trust me?"

Matt's eyes closed.

"I trust you. It's just; I don't trust myself"

Tai had heard enough. His hands encircled the blonde's waist and pushed their torsos, their chests, their hearts, together.

Tai's tanned cheek warmed the side of Matt's face and it melted entirely.

"But you're here now, and we're like this. Doesn't that mean a thing to you?"

"I don't want to lose you" The blonde confessed.

"I've seen you deny yourself someone for too long" Freckles whispered, genuine.

The distance between them now had ceased completely. Their lips brushed and they savoured the moment, content within the knowledge that no-one and nothing could take this memory away.

"If we do this, I could lose you one day"

"Then while I can still say what I want to say, and while you're here to hear the words I long to say, I'll say them"

"Which words?"

And that's the end.

Did you love it? Hate it? I'd love to hear what you thought of it.

I won't be uploading any new stories after this, but I do plan on completing all my other ones I've started and never finished.

I first started writing FanFics in February 2009; it's improved my writing so much, and I've read tonnes of amazing stories over the years.

Everyone who's read something of mine might not see this message, but I'd like to extend my deepest gratitude for you taking the time to read my work. And even more special thanks to the reviewers – because I know damn well how time-consuming that can be.

So, really, thank you, everyone.