Matchmaker

Summary: Ino thinks she's just hooked Shikamaru up with his dream girl: Temari. But little does she know that she couldn't be further from the truth, and now Temari is turning the tables on her!

"Shi! Ka! Ma! Ru!"

Nara Shikamaru lifted his head lazily from where it had formerly been supported up by his hand upon the table: he was working on his latest mission report, however nearly falling asleep in the middle of it. It had been a boring escort mission, with no sudden attacks in the middle to liven it up. Not that he minded; in fact, he loved the mission dearly, not having to work as hard and all. But it had been boring nonetheless, and writing it's boring report to be long enough to be accepted did not help things. His lazy attitude kept pushing to procrastinate things, but better judgment told him that it would only worsen the project. It had to be done now.

He rested his dark eyes upon a certain Yamanaka in reply to the calling, asking with his facial expression why she had run up to him so suddenly. She hardly took time these days to chat with him, as she was often off stalking Sai as she had once done to Sasuke. It hurt Shikamaru inside: over the years he had developed a sort of infatuation with her. In the beginning he denied it, saying he merely only cared for his teammate and wished not to see her in harm's way. Jealousy was passed off as a spin off of this: he didn't want to see her heart broken by Sai.

But time went on and the crush never faded. Shikamaru fully accepted, by then, that he had fallen in love with the blonde bombshell, as troublesome as she may be. However, he never worked up the courage to tell her: fear of rejection held him back.

"Shikamaru!" She repeated cheerily, taking a seat in the wooden table. The wind blew gently through her hair, creating a long golden wave in the breeze that sprouted from the back of her head. The sunlight shined in her eyes and off the silver buttons on her shirt and the earrings she wore. Shikamaru took this all in as more proof to her amazing beauty: she could never look terrible, it was not possible. He thanked the lords that he had decided to sit outside on the glorious day to finish his report. "I just heard the juiciest gossip," she giggled, "You'll never guess."

"Ah… Naruto asked Sakura out? Again?"

"Nope!" She bit her lip to suppress her giggle fits.

"I'm not playing this game," he groaned, "I have work to do, so spit it out or leave."

She pouted, "Oh, Shikamaru, you're no fun. Fine, I'll tell you." She looked left and right, and then behind her, checking to see who was around. Then she leaned over, closer to him, and said quietly, "I heard that a certain someone, someone close to me, has a crush. A big one, in fact."

Shikamaru's heart pounded at their close proximity, "…who, then?"

"Guess! Come on, now!"

"I'm not playing that game, I told you!"

"Fine!" She raised a hand to her mouth to keep from laughing right into his face, "It's you!"

Shikamaru wasn't sure what happened just then: if his heart had burst or frozen, or maybe it was beating so heard now, threatening to jump out of the cage that concealed it. He could hardly fight the blush coming to his cheeks.

"Of course, I don't know who. Naruto just told me that it was someone… so, naturally, I came to find out who!" She backed away from him and smiled sweetly, "You will tell me, won't you Shika?"

The nickname didn't help the situation; he could feel his face heating up profusely, against his will. He could not look at her for the reason that he knew she had put a pout on her full, red lips, and her eyes would be wide with pleading in a sort of puppy dog stare. His heart continuously threatened to break out of its cage. His writing hand, clutching his pencil, shook hard, creating various unwanted marks on his mission report. Finally, he took a deep breath and then exhaled, then looked up but avoided looking into her magnificent blue eyes, "I'll let you guess."

"What? Now I have to play the game? How's that fair?"

"It's the only way I'll tell you, whereas I knew that in your excitement to tell me your gossip news that would wouldn't wait long enough to make me guess. So, go on." He returned to his report, cursed at the ugly pencil marks that littered the page and set off immediately to erase them.

"All right… well, would you give me a hint?"

"Like what?"

"Like… what does she look like? Act like? Describe her!"

Shikamaru sighed and rolled his eyes, then looked right back at her, still avoiding her eyes and instead staring at the space in between them, "All right, all right. Let's see…" He paused.

"Oh come on, Shikamaru! Tell me!" She laughed and punched him playfully on the shoulder.

"Okay, okay!" He laughed as well and brushed his shoulder off, "She's got blonde hair and a rather… feisty temper. Best not to get on her bad side."

"Blonde hair… feisty temper…" she muttered to herself, and immediately searched his surroundings for someone fitting that description. Shikamaru shook his head and returned to cleaning off his report. Of course, he thought to himself, she's too dense to realize it's her.

"Oh! I got it!" She whipped back around to face him, nearly hitting him with that long ponytail of hers and giving him a mouthful of hair to chew on, "I know who it is! You like Temari!"

Shikamaru's right hand slipped across the paper, creating a long eraser mark across it and fading a whole line of words. "…who?"

"Temari!" She clapped her hands together, proud of her accomplishment and a plan formulating in her head, "And I know that she's in the village right now! Had a message to bring from Gaara, I ran into her earlier today." She turned around and pointed across the lane, "Look! She's across the street, come on!"

"Ino, wait, I have a paper to finish-" Shikamaru started as she pulled him away from his work, creating a massive scattering of papers in the wind caused by their sudden departure, and his pencil flung underneath the table. Ino didn't listen, but merely tugged him across the street over to where Temari sat, sipping a cup of tea she had just purchased.

"Temaaari!" Ino called in a sing-song voice, "I have someone who would like to see you!"

Temari, in mid-sip, quickly swallowed and pulled the cup away from her lips. She smiled to the rather excited Yamanaka and the annoyed Shikamaru and laughed lightly, "You two look like you're on a date!"

Shikamaru turned his face away to hide another impending blush, while Ino look down and realized that her hand indeed held Shikamaru's tightly, and quickly pulled it away and hid a blush of her own, "No, not at all! Besides, he's here to see you," she winked at him, and he just rolled his eyes, "I'll see you two later."

Temari watched the flower girl walk away, and once she was across the street again and out of hearing distance, she whipped her head back to Shikamaru, "What's going on here…?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Ino thinks I like you," he grumbled, "Troublesome."

"Really, because you told me that you liked her. Sudden change of mind?"

"No." He clenched his jaw, "I told her I liked a blonde girl with a feisty temper."

"Not specific enough," she said immediately and sipped her tea. Shikamaru rolled his eyes again, as he obviously had learned this already. Temari lower her cup once more and watched Ino straighten up the papers she had so haphazardly messed up just before. "I would think that Konoha's Top Strategist would expect this and not let it happen?"

"My mind goes blank when I see her, I can't help it." He sighed, also watching him from afar. Across the street, Ino stacked the papers together and look over to them, then smiled widely and waved. They both waved back.

"Then I guess it's my job to clean up this mess?"

Shikamaru looked to her and raised both eyebrows, but the rest of his face remained neutral. "Please do."

"All right, all right." She finished her tea and left it on the table along with her payment and tip, "Walk with me."

He turned and followed her. Behind them, Ino Yamanaka watched them walk away together and placed both hands on her hips in triumph; she had done well. But… what was the pang in her chest that now hurt her so?

"We have to create the illusion that we're dating."

"What?"

Shikamaru sat with Temari on a bench a few streets away from their last destination. They wanted to make sure Ino wasn't nearby so that they could discuss the plan without worrying about her eavesdropping. Ino had tended to watch after couples after she had matched them together, and invaded their privacy a little too much. They both were keeping a keen eye out as they spoke.

"Well, you know how people normally get jealous when the object of their affection starts going out with someone else."

"But Ino doesn't like me-"

"No, she just doesn't know it yet. Believe me, I've seen the hints. She likes you."

"What hints?"

"She doesn't keep her eyes off you, for starters, in those meetings. She trusts you to hold onto her body and keep her safe when she uses her jutsu. You also dress similar." She looked over to him with a known smirk, "I could go on as long as you like me to, Nara."

"I get it," he waved her off, "Anyway, the plan?"

"In addition to building up jealousy, she'll be expecting us to date anyway. She'll confront you, eventually, and you can set things straight. It's that simple. And you're lucky, because I'm going to be here for a few more days still. Plenty of time."

"What if she doesn't fall for it?"

Temari stared at him blankly, "Then you're screwed."

"….thanks." Shikamaru hesitated and allowed his eyes to linger to the left, "She's coming. I can sense her presence."

"So do I. Guess that means its time to put this plan into action, then! Well?"

"What?"

"Put you're arm around me, stupid, we're supposed to be fake dating!"

Shikamaru did as he was told, though inside his heart ached and wished for things to be different. In his mind, he worked the images around him and imagined that the blonde beside him he held with that one arm was a different person entirely, one clad in purple and silver instead of black and white. As expected, merely seconds later Ino popped up around the corner, carrying the stack of papers that Shikamaru had left behind.

"Shikamaru!" She called, noticing them on the bench, and turned to face them. She took a step, hesitated, then proceeded and held the papers out to him, "Here, you left these behind."

"Thanks," he mumbled, trying his best to show little interest in her presence and took the papers, set them beside him and replaced his left arm around Temari's shoulder. Temari merely stared into the distance, ignoring the Yamanaka girl.

Ino crossed her arms behind her back and pursed her lips into a thin line, her eyes wandering away from the two and off to the side. Temari finally took notice and looked up to her.

"Why are you still here?"

"Ah!" She blushed, "Sorry. I'll go now." Ino hesitantly waved goodbye and slowly walked into the distance. When they were sure she was far enough, Shikamaru retracted his arm from Temari, scooted about a foot away from her and grunted.

"That was brilliant." He said sarcastically.

"Oh, it's only the beginning. She'll get worked up eventually." Temari stood up and stretched her arms, "But other than that, I'm having dinner with Naruto's team tonight. I'm going." She turned towards him and pointed sharply, "Meet me at Ichiraku tomorrow at noon. Don't be late."

"Yes ma'am." He mumbled. She shot him a glare before vanishing, gone in the blink of an eye. Shikamaru looked beside him to the stack of papers Ino had left behind and sighed. Best to finish up this report now and turn it in quickly…

"You're late."

Shikamaru glared at Temari as he approached the Ichiraku Ramen Stand that day, just after noon. "By five minutes."

"Yes, but what if Ino had shown up in the last five minutes? I had to be very careful and precise last night, making sure to relay the information to Sakura that we'd be here and get it into her head that she should tell Ino. You better not mess this up, Shikamaru. I'm doing this for you."

"Yeah, yeah." He looked around, for a sign of the blonde beauty clad in her usual purple attire. Temari looked in the opposite direction, also searching. A moment of awkward silence passed between the two before Temari yanked Shikamaru's arm nearly out of his socket and tugged him underneath the curtains of the stand, then pushed him onto the stool. Temari nodded to the cook, who nodded back and pulled out two steaming fresh bowls of ramen and placed them in front of the 'couple.' Shikamaru raised both eyebrows in Temari's direction, who just waved a hand at him and whispered, "Play along. Here she comes!"

A slim, purple-clad figure appeared outside the stand and raised an arm to the curtains to allow herself to peer in. Immediately on cue, Temari burst out laughing and lay a hand on Shikamaru's shoulder, "That's so funny, Shika! Wow, you're such an amazing boyfriend!"

Temari did her best to emphasize her adjectives, and spoke loudly enough to get Ino's attention while still keeping a low profile. As expected, Ino quickly snapped her head to her immediate left, where Temari had already latched onto Shikamaru as he slurped his ramen.

"Mmm," Shikamaru mumbled, getting the sauce all over his face. Temari fake-laughed some more, then reached for a napkin.

"Oh, you're such a sloppy eater! Let me clean that up for you… there." She used the napkin to expertly clean Shikamaru's face, allowing her fingers to linger momentarily over his lips. Behind her, she could feel Ino's jealousy rising, no matter whether the latter could notice it herself or not.

"…hello, there." Ino greeted weakly. Temari and Shikamaru each turned their heads slightly and looked at her sideways, as if to say that they didn't notice or care for her presence at all.

"Oh, hello there Ino." Temari smiled warmly. Shikamaru nodded, not daring to say a word.

"Hello, Temari." Ino rubbed one arm awkwardly, "You two look… cozy."

"Oh, we are." Temari leaned in closer to Shikamaru and gave his arm a squeeze, "We really have to thank you for setting us up yesterday."

"Don't mention it." Ino replied, speaking more to Shikamaru than to Temari. Her eyelids rested lazily on her eyes, which appeared to have a hint of sorrow etched into them, and the usual spark gone. She continued to rub one arm, and tucked one leg behind the other. Her eyes didn't leave the Nara boy, "I hope you two are happy together," she added with no meaning.

As Temari continued on with the façade, doing everything in her power to act well in the part of Shikamaru's girlfriend, Shikamaru only stared back into Ino's sky-blue eyes that, for some reason, didn't shine with its usual brilliance today. Somewhere inside, he felt a hint of remorse…

"Well, we really must be going, shouldn't we Shikamaru?"

"Ah… yeah, but we didn't-"

"Finish? I know, and I'm sorry to spend your money like that too! But we really need to be somewhere, remember?"

"Oh… yeah. We do." He nodded to Ino, "See you."

"See you." She repeated, summoning a fake smile and waving weakly, "Bye."

Temari tugged Shikamaru out of the ramen stand with the same force she had used to pull him in, and after walking quickly down the street, hanging a left and then walking even further, she finally released him and smiled smugly up to him, "It's working! Did you notice the sadness in her eyes? The softness of her otherwise normally shrieking voice? She's jealous!"

Shikamaru mulled it over in his mind a little, before smiling a little smugly himself, "She is, isn't she? Guess it's only a matter of time now until she cracks."

"Why hasn't she done anything yet!?"

Temari was so annoyed, she nearly smashed the porcelain cup of tea she held in her hand. The past few days had been rather tough, as no matter what they threw at Ino now, she still didn't respond the way they wanted her to. There was no jealous rage. There was no plotting revenge to steal back Shikamaru. There was no conspiring with others. There was no venting. All she did was weakly encourage them, keeping it all inside.

"Well, you can't expect her to do anything, really. She thinks she's set us up for our own good. She wouldn't want to mess up her own work. She really believes we're in love."

"Well," Temari set her cup down with a thud, causing the tea inside to nearly splash all over the table, "We need to break up then, don't we?"

Shikamaru raised both eyebrows, "I don't know-"

"Of course it will work!" She hissed, glaring, "I'm determined!"

Shikamaru blinked and stared at her blankly, "Why-"

"Shut up, Shikamaru!"

"What's this, trouble in paradise?"

Shikamaru slowly nodded to the visitor beside them, while Temari whipped her head around in fury, glaring for interrupting their conversation. The aforementioned visitor laughed heartily and munched on a sandwich he held in his hand, before continuing to Shikamaru, "You know, I didn't believe it when Ino told me you two were going out. Guess she was right, though."

"Of course she was right, it was her fault."

"Her fault, what?"

"Listen, Choji," Temari, having calmed herself down with another sip of tea, motioned for the Akimichi to take a seat beside her so she could explain, "We're not really dating, Shikamaru and I. No, we're just putting on a charade."

Choji paused in mid-chew, then glanced between the two, "Ha, I knew it."

"Huh, you do?" Temari blinked, "Okay then… well…"

"So you need to make her jealous so she'll tear you apart? Fat chance."

"What do you mean fat chance!?"

"You know Ino and her matchmaking, she doesn't like to see her work destroyed. It tore her up as much as it did Hinata when she failed to set her up with Naruto."

Shikamaru and Temari both blinked, thinking things over. They had gone too far too fast, hadn't they? Never even thought it through. "We figured out long ago that she's dead set on us being a 'happy couple'" Temari used air quotes here, "But we thought she'd get over it. Didn't think enough, though! But maybe this new plan will work…"

"What plan?" Choji asked.

"We're staging a break up," Temari stated.

"Were you not paying attention throughout this whole conversation!?" Choji groaned, slamming one fist into the table, "Ino's going to be majorly crushed!"

"But what other way are we supposed to get these two together!?" Temari roared at Choji, her anger rising again, "I'm the one really playing Matchmaker here, not her!"

"…find another way!" Choji retaliated hesitantly. Temari seethed and looked away, mumbling things under her breath that Shikamaru and Choji decided to ignore. Looking for a more sensible person to converse with, Choji turned to Shikamaru.

"So what's your plan, Mr. Genius?"

Shikamaru withdrew himself from his copyrighted thinking pose he had drawn himself into moments prior while Choji and Temari argued. As his hands broke apart, he smirked and let out a small chuckle.

"Oh, you'll see."

Yamanaka Ino stood solemnly in the middle of Konoha Bridge late the next night. Half a loaf of bread lied on the banister beside her, pieces already ripped away and lying now in her hands, others floating in the water. Ducks swam around below, snatching the floating pieces in there mouths and fighting over others. One particularly obnoxious duck quacked loudly and flapped its wings, making another flee so that he could claim a rather large piece to himself.

She sighed, and tossed another piece of bread out of pity to the duck who had just lost. Though it was smaller, the duck still happily snatched it up his mouth and swam along, satisfied, with his friends.

"Feeling all right there?" A rather familiar, masculine voice said as he took his place beside her at the banister. Ino looked at him sideways, without moving her head, quickly, and then back to the ducks. She shook her head.

"I'm fine. Shouldn't you be with Temari?"

Shikamaru shook his head, "She left for Suna today, remember?"

"Then why didn't you escort her back?"

"She can take care of herself, she's a ninja." Shikamaru turned his head toward Ino, who deliberately avoided his gaze. "And a jounin, at that. Higher rank than me. I'd be no good to her."

"You sure do seem to be, though. You two are so cozy together."

"I'd like to point out, Ino, that you set us up."

"I know, I know," she sighed, "I'm not trying to argue. But…"

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow at her almost-sentence, and when she had paused for too long he pushed her on. "But what?"

"Nevermind."

A long, lonely silence followed. Ino tossed another piece of bread into the water, and the same obnoxious duck, who was currently all the way across the river, darted through the crowds of ducks towards it. But when he reached it, another duck reached it with him and they collided just before the bread. The obnoxious duck quacked again, and the new duck slipped away a few inches and left him be. She did not want to be injured. But the obnoxious duck silenced, then, with his beak, nudged the piece of bread towards his comrade. If ducks could smile, the new duck would have as she happily ate the bread.

"Why did you set us up anyway, Ino?"

"Because you said you liked her."

"Did I really?" Shikamaru thought out loud to her, "I don't remember ever saying the words 'I like Temari' in my life."

"You said a blonde girl with a feisty temper," Ino rolled her eyes, but still did not look up at him, "Bam. Temari."

Shikamaru laughed softly. The obnoxious duck and the new duck hadn't parted yet. Any male duck that approached the new, rather fetching duck the obnoxious duck would only quack at again, but wouldn't flap its wings so as not to hit his friend. "What was that?"

"Blonde girl. Feisty temper." She shot him a sideways glare, "Would you like me to write it one hundred times on the chalkboard?"

Shikamaru grabbed a piece of bread from her and threw it into the water, accidentally hitting the new duck. The obnoxious duck squawked loudly and flapped its wings as the new duck shied away in fear. The obnoxious duck squawked again at Shikamaru before swimming quickly over to his friend to make sure she was okay. "Well, Temari isn't the only blonde, feisty tempered girl I know."

"Uh huh," She leaned more onto the banister, looking further over the banister, "But I obviously got it right, because you two are so happy."

Shikamaru leaned over as well, "Let me clarify, Ino. I like a blonde girl with a feisty temper. I've known her since childhood, and she's on my grade-school ninja squad. She wears plenty of purple, with mesh arm and leg warmers and silver hoop earrings that match my own." As Shikamaru explained this, Ino slowly turned her head towards him, allowing herself to take in his gaze as he stared out down the river. Her face was full of awe. "She has magnificent blue eyes, as well, but they've been full of sadness these past few days, ever since I mistakenly hooked up with another woman, at her will, by the way, to make her jealous." Shikamaru turned his head to match her gaze, "Sadly, my plan didn't work. A rare feat."

Ino was speechless, her lips parted, amazed. It was a rather unexpected turn of events on her part, because she truly believed her work had been perfectly done this time around. Shikamaru took this moment to soak in her beauty: the way the moonlight bathed her features so warmly in its silver glow, and how her hair floated swiftly in the wind. The brilliant spark in her eyes and relit itself, a new fiery passion lit with it within her. Her lips, red and full, were parted so perfectly…

He had to bend down and kiss her.

It was a passionate kiss, one that seemed to last forever. He could feel the fireworks blasting off somewhere inside both of them as he snaked his arms around her waist and held her closer. Ino, originally surprised at his sudden action, relaxed into his embrace and rested her arms on his shoulders, sinking deeper into the kiss.

A moment later they finally broke apart, with Ino staring up to Shikamaru, confused. He closed his eyes, smiled, and rested his forehead against hers.

"I love you, Ino."

She returned the smile and kissed his cheek, "I love you, too."

A few days later, Temari found herself in the same predicament Shikamaru was in at the beginning of this story. Papers were strewn all over the table around her, as she scribbled away at her latest mission report. Frankly, she did not understand the point of writing a report for simply delivering a message from the Kazekage to the Hokage, but apparently it was work still to be done.

She paused, holding her pencil in mid-air as she turned her head abruptly towards to window. A pigeon flew up to it, flapped his wings and landed on the sill. He began to peck away at the glass for her to open it.

"What is it?" She grumbled, annoyed from being interrupted in her work and got up to let the pigeon in. The moment the glass shield was out of his way, he held up his legs to reveal a letter attached. Temari untied and unfolded it, then handed the pigeon a small bowl of food to occupy it as she read the letter and wrote a reply. She laughed as she recognized the lazy handwriting of a certain lazy ninja.

Temari:

It worked. Consider your Matchmaking Job successful, even though it was my idea that worked, not yours.

-Shikamaru

She rolled her eyes and scribbled a reply, tied it to the pigeon's leg and shooed it away. She shut the window and returned to her work.

"That damn Shikamaru… my plan was too successful!"

END.

BAM. HOW'S THAT FOR A ONE-SHOT?

I had fun writing this one XDDDDD

Um… so… yeah. Reviews are loved.

EVERY TIME YOU READ WITHOUT REVIEWING, HARRY POTTER UH…. DIES.

YEAH.

THAT'S BAD.

SAVE HARRY POTTER, KIDS.