AN: evening, folks! Back for more? Only too happy to oblige…in which Sirius is naked, Moony is reading…and there is a marked absence of sappy, romantic idealism. Because, c'mon, Sirius would so find penis-humour funny… dd xxx
"Yo."
"Er…hi, Pads."
"Finish that essay?"
"Jawohl." (AN: my mates and I talk German to each other all the time…I guess my sister's right, I am making Remus into myself)
"Um…good. Good job, mate."
"Did you see my copy of 'Lolita' lying about the place?"
"Me? Er…na, don't think so…"
"…"
"…"
"…Sirius?"
"Mm-hmm?"
"Uh…this may be a stupid question…er, yeah…Pads, is there any reason why you're naked?"
"Ah. You noticed, then."
"…What! Hard to miss, you know, mate."
"Hehe…I aim to please!"
"You know…that was almost as bad as that insufferable smug grin you get on your face when someone says 'Are you serious?' and I just know what's going to come out of your stupid mouth…"
"Don't you find it endearing?"
"You want the short answer or the long answer?"
"Well, I think it's funny."
"Yeah, well you live in your own little doggy world where jokes about penises are funny."
"They are."
"Sheesh…"
"Don't be such a prude, Moons."
"Hmm…I might resent that if I could be arsed…anyway, you didn't answer my question."
"Which?"
"Goldfish memory…about the gratuitous nudity…you…sitting on your bed…not wearing anything…savvy?"
"I get you, dude."
"Has the definition of rational behaviour changed since I last checked? It's February, Sirius. You'll…ahem…get frostbite."
"That's a risk I'm willing to take."
"Living dangerously, eh, Pads?"
"Uh-huh."
"So…why, exactly? I admit you've successfully aroused my curiosity and if you dare make an innuendo out of that I will kill you."
"All for you, Moony…it's all for you."
"Erm…"
"No like?"
"Well…Sirius…call me dense, but…have I missed something?"
"…but, I thought…you know, in the library…you know, when we talked, like…"
"Ye-es…I still feel I may somehow have missed a vital bit of conversation…um…"
"Remus…I distinctly remember you saying 'Go to the dorm, I'll be there in a minute'."
"Maybe…yes, it's all coming back to me now…but I don't remember saying '…where you have my full permission to fuck me senseless.' Mind you, I could be wrong, it has happened."
"You're doing it again."
"Don't be petulant, it doesn't go with the leather-clad rock god look."
"See?"
"No, I really have missed something. What in the name of Butterbeer are you on about?"
"All that sarcastic shit you pull these days."
"Gods. Not this again. Will you get over the whole 'Moony, you've changed, I barely know you' crap already?"
"Well, it's true."
"…man, I thought we were good."
"Yeah, well, me too…thought we'd, like, reached some sort of consensus…which is why, y'know…with the whole nakedness thing."
"What the fuck? Yeah…okay, so I may have implied that…okay, I might have, like, admitted that I love you…but…I still don't understand how that naturally progresses to you sitting on a bed unabashedly flaunting…erm…flaunting…"
"Go on, say it, you know you want to…"
"I do not. I am not twelve."
"You do, you do want to!"
"Oh, fuck off."
"Hahaha…"
"Alright. The things I do for you…flaunting your magic wand, happy now?"
"Man, I crack myself up sometimes…what was the question again?"
"The eternal question…why are you naked?"
"Ah, yes…one of the difficult ones." (AN: I swear this is a line from a Discworld novel, but my sluggish mind can't remember which one. Thanks anyway, Terry)
"Sirius…I …you're being so flippant…I, just…I'm sorry if you think I'm being sarcastic and difficult. It's just, I mean…what am I going to do? It's not like I'm used to…this sort of situation…"
"Um…"
"Please, Pads. I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable. I just…I don't know what I meant in the library."
"What?"
"No, no…I meant…something, something close to what you meant…but, y'know, an hour ago I had a girlfriend, I was straight as a pole…and then…"
"Hmph. You finish it with Julia, then?"
"Yup."
"What did you say?"
"I told her…I said someone made me an offer I couldn't refuse."
"Ha! Good one, Remus."
"Why, thank you."
"But still. I just…do you not get the feeling this has been dragging on quite a long time?"
"Pads…same old Padfoot, so, so impatient. You only came and disturbed me two hours ago."
"Oh."
"Sirius…"
"I guess…I guess it just seems like a long time…I mean, yeah…you're right. You didn't know…about you know until I told you. So, like…it's been longer…and stuff."
"Pads?"
"Yep?"
"You know in fourth year when I asked you why Prongs kept on messing up his hair every time Evans went past?"
"Erm…is this going somewhere…? Yeah, yeah I remember."
"And you laughed like a hyena and said 'Gods, Moony, you're so thick!'?"
"Indeed. I remember it well."
"We-ell…you may have had a point…"
"This is another one of those cryptic elusive Mr. Remus things, isn't it?"
"A bit."
"You know…it wouldn't hurt to just…I dunno, say things every now and then…"
"…"
"Moony?"
"Gods, Sirius…you think this is easy for me! You, you twat, you have like this…aura or something…some impervious shield that everything the world chucks at you just bounces off…I'm sorry…I can't just…spill my emotions like that…"
"Are you kidding?"
"About what?"
"Remus Lupin, I've been working up to…telling you…for two and a half years. I was waiting for you to…teach me how to get the emotion thing just right. Gods…"
"Ah. I see. Erm…sorry about that, then."
"Fine. I give up."
"…"
"…"
"…I …hearing…what you said to me in the library…I …it was like you suddenly turned a blinding light on something that had always been half in shadow…" (AN: erm…so shoot me, Remus likes Tennessee Williams)
"…"
"I suppose…I'm just not very good at…working out what I want. And…yes…this evening. I guess my eyes have been opened. I just need…time…always time, to become accustomed to…this…oh, fuck it, I love you like…like ripples on water…snow on black trees…kittens, chamomile tea…stuff like that…and I need someone, I need you to make me see how stupid I've been in hiding blind…gods, I've been pretending so long I can't even remember when it began…"
"Moony?"
"Mm-hmm?"
"Why are your eyes shut?"
"Uh…because of Dusty Springfield…"
"Come again?"
" 'I close my eyes, and count to ten…and when I open them, you're still there'…I … I just want to believe love songs might have a shred of truth in them…"
"You know what?"
"What? If this is a magic wand joke, I swear I won't be accountable for my actions."
"No, no…no fears, Moony. I just…I don't have a flippant comment to make. I just wanted you to know…no matter how long you count…when you open your eyes…I'll be there. You know that, right?"
"Gods. Pass the sick bucket."
"Hmph."
"Sorry."
"You will be…come here…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"Erm…Moony?"
"Ja?"
"I found your book…"
"Ah, good."
"It was digging into my spine."
"Nice."
"Hey…come back here! Remus! You cannot be serious! You're actually going to read! Is this some sort of a joke!"
"…"
"Bloody. Hell. I'm going to get my clothes back on."
"You do that, Pads."
AN: thank you, thank you, I'm here all week…hope you enjoyed, I tell thee these are far more enjoyable to write than angsty death-and-doom fics involving dear Remus. Hmm, indeed. Drop us a line if you liked, and would like more verbal interaction between these star-crossed lovers. Much love dd xxx