Rachel's P.O.V.
I've never been so grateful that the weekend is over. I do miss having more time with Ava, but I can live with her going to school. I feel like this week will be…dare I say…good? Quinn left me alone after I told her I was pregnant, which is what I expected. When I was pregnant with Leo I may as well have gone through the pregnancy by myself. I can't really tell how she feels about the pregnancy, but I don't think I'll inquire about it either. Quinn will speak to me when she chooses and I'm absolutely fine with that.
At least I am able to see Santana this week. Since Adriana comes over every week, I get to see Brittany and Santana often. I look forward to seeing Santana because she is one of my closest friends and I don't socialize as much anymore. Quinn has made me keep everyone at a distance so that they can't gauge what is happening in our home when no one is around. I haven't seen my fathers in over 5 years and I doubt I'll be seeing them any time soon.
Seeing Santana is like…a breath of fresh air. I enjoy Brittany's company as well, but Santana and I have always had something deeper and more meaningful. When I talk to her, I forget what my reality is. I can really just be Rachel Berry. I can say whatever I want without worrying I've offended her because it's Santana.
Santana and I have a very interesting dynamic so to speak. Santana…well Santana was the one I always envisioned myself with but she wasn't interested. That was a long time ago though. I've since moved on but I wouldn't be being completely honest if I said I didn't think about what it would have been like to be with Santana. That's not anything I think of often. I try not to dwell on things that could have been or how things may have been. I have to deal with my reality with Quinn and my children.
The swelling on my eye has gone down enough that it isn't noticeable so this morning I was able to put enough make-up on to make myself look as close to normal as I can. Santana didn't say anything when she saw me so I'll assume I was able to cover everything. Speaking of Santana, she should be here any minute to pick up Adriana. I love having Adriana over, she is the sweetest thing and reminds me a lot of Brittany but don't fooled. There's a lot of Santana in there too, the second she becomes upset. It's fine though, Santana does a very good job making sure Adriana keeps her temper under control. I actually love seeing them together. Santana is a fantastic mother honestly and it's like seeing another part of her I never thought I'd see. Santana has a very nurturing, disciplinary parenting style.
Adriana and Leo have been asleep for the last 10 minutes, so I've been cleaning up the mess they previously made. I'm just finishing up when I hear the doorbell. Santana must be here. I put the toys away quickly and open the door.
"Hello Santana." I say with a smile to greet her.
"Hey Rach. Where's my little monster?" She asks as I move aside to let her in the house.
"Currently napping with Leo in his room. They didn't feel the need to follow the schedule today." I tell Santana as she closes the door.
"Of course not. She always picks and chooses when she wants to listen. How long have they been asleep?" She asks.
"Roughly 10 minutes." I tell her as I sit on the couch. Santana nods her head and sits near me.
"How was she today?"
"Same as always. She sung her ABC's until she nodded off." Santana chuckles and shake her head.
"I've never seen a person love their ABC's as much as she does." I nod my head.
"I concur. Adriana sang it for at least an hour and a half. It was as if she was stuck on repeat." I say and Santana laughs again.
"I don't know how you deal with that all day. I love my daughter dearly but she's annoying as hell." She says and now it's my turn to laugh.
"Well since you said it…" I say. Santana chuckles.
"Not sure if I've thanked you lately but thanks again for watching her." Santana says and I resist the urge to roll my eyes.
"San, I've been watching her for 2 years now. I understand your gratitude. You and Brittany are my friends. Of course I'd help you out." I tell her.
"I know but I still want you to know I appreciate you." She says and I smile softly. It's nice to know that someone appreciates me.
"I know you do San." Santana gives me a small smile. Santana leans back on the couch and crosses her legs.
"You weren't busy were you?" I shake my head no.
"Good. I don't plan on leaving until you have to pick up Ava." She says. I don't have to pick up Ava for another hour.
"Why is that?" I ask her.
"I don't feel like we've talked in a while. So tell me what's new in Rachel's world."
"Honestly not much. I can't say I have the most exciting life Santana." I tell her.
"Well I got a promotion at work." Santana says.
"That's great Santana! Congratulations!"
"No. It's fucking hell because my department is filled with idiots and I have to deal with their shit every fucking day." Santana rolls her eyes and I can't help but chuckle.
"What?" She asks curiously.
"It's just…San you could complain about a perfect day. Nothing could go wrong and you would still find something." Santana rolls her eyes.
"I don't complain about being in your company." She says.
"I wouldn't know that, now would I?" Santana nudges my shoulder and I giggle.
"If you bored me, you know damn well I'd tell you." Santana turns towards me, putting her hand behind her head with her elbow on the couch.
"Anyway, are you going to flake on us this Friday? B and I have a wager going and I want to know if I'm losing or not." She says.
"I told you guys I'd be there." Santana rolls her eyes.
"I just lost 20 bucks because you actually want to be reliable." Santana says frustrated. I avoid eye contact and lower my head. I don't want her to be upset.
"Rach?" Santana calls out. I look up at her from the corner of my eye then back down to my lap.
"Rach? You okay?" I feel her hand on my shoulder and I flinch and move away slightly.
"I'm fine. I just…sorry. I won't go out." I tell her.
"Rachel, it was just a joke. Calm down. You don't have to apologize." She says and I nod my head. I don't know why I'm reacting this way but I can't help it.
"I'm sorry…I'm just…in a weird place right now." I tell her.
"Well, what's up? We still have a while before you have to get Ava. Hell, we could go get Ava if it takes that long." She says.
This is why I love when Santana is around. I can express how I feel and have someone actually listen. Santana actually listens to me and I don't have to worry about her hitting me if I talk to her without being spoken to first.
I couldn't help but tell Santana about my pregnancy. I wanted to tell her about how I truly felt about it and how I don't want to be in this situation, but I couldn't muster the courage to. If I would have started to tell her, I would have told her everything and I can't do that. The way…the way Santana looked at me while I spoke to her…I know she already knows how I feel. It's like she can see past my facade and…that terrifies me.
Santana's P.O.V.
Today was interesting to say the least. Rachel was…weird. I don't know how to explain it. I didn't expect to that conversation to turn into what it did, though I'm not complaining. I feel like a shit friend. Rachel is sitting here, going through something because of this pregnancy and I haven't even asked her how she was in months. The hell is wrong with me?
I'm going to chop Quinn's dick in half. Why the hell is Rachel so afraid to have another baby? What is going on over there? Are they having issues? I can't say I wanted that to happen but I'm not mad it did if that's what's going on. Rachel should be fucking happy and if Quinn won't do her fucking job, I will. I'm pissed this cunt knocked her up again but there's nothing I can do about it.
I'm trying to not let this affect me but I'm dying on the inside. I want that to be my baby. Those should be my kids and she should be my wife. If she were my wife she wouldn't be so upset that she's pregnant. Rachel didn't say she regrets getting pregnant but she damn sure implied that this was unexpected. I didn't even try to pretend like I was happy for her for having another kid. My anger wouldn't let me. Why is the world such a cruel fucking place?
Rachel needs a friend right now and that's painfully clear. I actually went with Rachel to pick up Ava so that she could keep talking before Adriana and I left. We talked about how she misses her friends, her family and working. Rachel is unhappy and I can see it. Why did it take me this long to see she was unhappy? I'm going to stick my foot so far up Quinn's ass she'll only be able to taste shoe polish for the rest of her life. Quinn had one job and she fucked up so now it's my turn. If she won't make Rachel happy, I will.