Blanket Disclaimer: The writer does not own any characters created by Rumiko Takahashi but like everyone else wishes she did. All original characters or concepts are the author's Inuma Asahi De's (with the exception of historical figures).
Necessary Confrontations
-nine years later-
Sesshoumaru sat in the small room before a low table filled with parchment, maps, and the odd scroll. Held between two clawed hands, a piece of paper captivated his interest. Golden eyes carefully read over each word, analyzing the lines with critical, abject focus.
"We, the people of the Neko Clan, oldest breed of demon to inhabit the Eastern territories, great descendants of the honorable Neko no Taisho, request the audience of one Sesshoumaru-sama of the Western Lands, great and noble barer of the honorable Inutais…"
Sesshoumaru sat the scroll down and closed his eyes tiredly. He had no time for such forced sophistication. When dealing with political matters, it was far more appropriate to be concise. There was no need to lay out the genealogy of both parties before requesting aid or declaring war. The frivolity was needless. Unfortunately, it seemed most diplomats didn't understand the beauty of simplistic language.
Irritated, but unwilling to show it, Sesshoumaru looked out the window of the small room. A sakura tree outside the window wafted in the breeze. The vacant branches, no longer lined with either flowers or leaves, seemed bleak. A poor addition to such a craftily made window. Languidly blinking, he turned his attention back to the papers before him. Neat piles greeted him, each one containing specific documents for him to analyze in turn. The peace treaties, the declarations of war, questions on taxation and feudal titles, not to mention the various miscellaneous documents that really fell into no category at all.
Vaguely, he wondered how his father had dealt with the multitudes of documents, but as soon as the question popped up in his brain, he shoved it back down. He had no desire to think of that man. He hadn't in a number of years. Still, the memories wafted up from a place deeply buried within his mind. And, before he could stop it from happening, he found himself in a field of flowers nearly eighteen years ago.
His father's words echoed in his heart. The admission that he had merely been a child of convenience making him, for all of a second, physically ill. As quickly as the emotion crept up on him, however, he was able to just as quickly squash it back down. His mother had taught him to control all weak displays well.
Yet, even if the emotion was gone, the memories still dared to play out. The field in his mind was gone now, replaced by an endless expanse of beach. He could see his father's face, silver hair highlighted by the full moon in the sky. His face was pained. The strong golden eyes wincing and the firm, uncompromising jaw clenched. The scent of blood clung to the air. The pool of it ridiculous in size as it culminated on the sand; the man's lifeforce seeping from his wounds.
Sesshoumaru's eyes blurred slightly, going out of focus. Words he didn't like to remember casually touching his soul, mocking him.
"When the time comes, will you do your duty as the elder brother?"
A soft knock at the door brought Sesshoumaru completely out of his musings. Slipping on a mask so perfect that no one had ever seen through it except his father, Sesshoumaru glanced towards the door and grunted.
The unspoken command instantly summoned the already known intruder. The shoji slid opened, and there, on the other side, a tiny green demon with pointed ears and beak bowed his head. The tall, brown hat, tied expertly under his chin was all Sesshoumaru saw at first, until the tiny creature raised up his head once more.
"Pardon the intrusion, Sesshoumaru-sama."
Keeping the mundane, lethargic expression on his face, Sesshoumaru didn't speak. His golden eyes flashed in the light and without needing words, the tiny man bowed again, coming fully into the room.
"There is someone here to see you." Jaken informed as he sat on his knees just barely in front of the threshold to the room. "A flea."
This news made Sesshoumaru's eyebrow twitch, but he didn't say anything. Instead, he lowered his head and moved his eyes away from the green demon. It was a signal the little man apparently understood.
Turning away from his lord, Jaken looked at the tiny flea that had waited patiently in the hallway. "You may enter." He kept his voice tight, taunting to a degree, but the flea didn't seem to mind.
Hopping across the threshold, an insignificant speck in the large room, Myoga continued moving until he was sitting on the low table before the new lord. Sitting immediately on his knees, the flea didn't dare to approach Sesshoumaru for the feast that was his blood. Times had changed as had rulers. Looking up at the son of the late Inutaisho, Myoga felt somehow intimidated and not all at once. After all, Myoga had always been in this man's life. He had been there the moment this man had taken his first breath in the world, had held his first sword, swung it, had stepped onto a battle field for the first time. He had even been there when this man had taken his father's place as the ruler of their clan.
But through all those experiences, he had been there not for Sesshoumaru, but for his father.
To be here now, for the son, felt somehow completely and utterly wrong. Still, Myoga bowed his head to the table. Regardless of personal feelings or thoughts, this once pup was the ruler of the entire clan. It was a title he had inherited; a title that no one could take away from him. Because, in the end, this man had been born quite intentionally. The son of the two most powerful dog demons to have ever existed. He was exceptional in every way, and he would make an exceptional ruler, no doubt.
"I am sorry to disturb you, Sesshoumaru-sama," Myoga started slowly, raising his head up to look at the younger man. "There is something I felt needed to be brought to your attention."
Sesshoumaru didn't speak. Speaking was below him.
"It is about Izayoi-dono," Myoga continued, knowing very well that Sesshoumaru wasn't likely to say a thing throughout the meeting. "She," Myoga felt a lump form in his throat. Even though he hadn't liked the idea of his master taking the human girl to his bed, breeding with her, he had grown quite fond of her over time. She had been gentle and sweet, a bit sassy and sarcastic on occasion, but always in a pleasant way. And she had loved the master and the child they bore hopelessly so. "Has—passed on."
The lord before him didn't speak. He did reach down and grab hold of the scroll that had been sitting right in front of him. The lord brought it almost immediately to his face, eyes scanning it.
The silence that permeated the room was downright uncomfortable. Myoga shifted nervously, not sure if he should continue or not. There was a pretty good chance that Sesshoumaru didn't give a damn about his news, but he still had to deliver it. It was his job, and part of a promise he had made with his master only hours before his death.
"I do not know much of the circumstances of her—untimely passing—but I do know what it has done for your brother."
Sesshoumaru's eyes flared, twinging almost red at the sides from the word brother. His grip on the scroll tightened, a claw ripped through the delicate parchment, and he closed his eyes. There wouldn't be a peace treating with the Cat Clan anytime soon.
Sitting in front of the door, Jaken tensed. He knew his master's temper better than anyone, and he also knew that the subject of the half-breed was not a particularly good one if one wanted to keep that temper in check.
Knowing he couldn't back down, for the sake of the child he had been sworn to protect, Myoga pressed on, "The boy's human grandfather has imprisoned him, locked him away," The tiny flea spoke quickly but clearly, praying to the kami above that he wouldn't be squished. "He is barely eight summers, Sesshoumaru-sama. He is tiny and they don't feed him. They are cruel—they—," A turning in his stomach took his breath away. Closing his eyes, he barely managed to finish. "They beat him mercilessly."
The scroll Sesshoumaru had been holding quite suddenly flew across the room. Myoga and Jaken tensed horrifically, neither able to hide the fear that overwhelmed their entire bodies. The scroll hit the wall and fell unceremoniously to the tatami floor. Sesshoumaru didn't move. If the two retainers didn't know any better, they would have thought the man hadn't thrown the scroll at all. The only indication was the twinging of red in Sesshoumaru's eyes. A sure indication that his demon blood was flowing close to the surface.
Abruptly, Sesshoumaru's eyes landed on Myoga. The expression on his face didn't change for even a minute. "What makes you think," He spoke for the first time that day. "This Sesshoumaru would care about a hanyou?"
Myoga was shaking. His whole body was a coil of undeniable fear. It started in his toes and went all the way up into his thirty fingers. The dog lord's expression was cold and collected as normal. But in the little red twinges that just barely filtered from the edge of his eyes to his pupils, Myoga could see the worst kind of revulsion.
Taking in a shaky breath, the tiny flea gulped down the overwhelming urge to vomit and repeated the words his master had told him to say nine years before. "The time has come," His voice was surprisingly level even though he felt like running and never looking back. "Will you do your duty as the elder brother?"
The words struck a cord in Sesshoumaru, but he didn't dare let that be known for even a second. Twin golden eyes, inherited from father to son, turned back to the humorous amount of paper work in front of him. The treaties, the declarations of independence and war, the taxation laws and feudal titles, the miscellaneous things he couldn't even begin to categorize. The neat piles that were just for show.
Sesshoumaru's throat tightened. His hands, almost unobservable to Jaken and Myoga, tensed.
"This Sesshoumaru," He spoke with the eerie monotone voice he had been taught by his mother. "Will never turn his back on duty."
With those words, he pushed himself to his feet, moving with a graceful nature that he had also inherited from the woman. Myoga and Jaken tensed. The lord ignored them both and moved out the still opened shoji door to the hallway. He glided like a ghost, long hair trailing after him as he disappeared down the winding corridors, leaving two confused retainers behind.
-break-
Sesshoumaru came out of his light transformation some hours later, not even aware he was following footsteps that matched his own. He landed on a human footpath. The natural energy that allowed him to travel as a spirit form was unable to sustain himself any longer. He would have to walk the remaining distance, a good two or three hours. The thought of it didn't bother him, the walking at least. The fact that he couldn't make the entirety of the distance as pure energy, however, bothered him extensively. He should have been able to cover such a non-consequential distance by now.
Taking his first step forward, the lord suddenly felt a strange weight creep up his spine. It tingled, oddly, an instinct older than time itself compelling him to look around. Lifting his golden eyes towards the sun, he actually winced from the brightness. The cold winter air bit at his skin, but he didn't feel it at all as his eyes turned towards the field that ran parallel to his right shoulder.
The instant his eyes turned, a hasty image of springtime flowers rocked his core. He could almost smell them, see them dancing in the soft winds of time. But with a blink of the eye, they were gone. In their place was a barren wasteland of snow. It blanketed the ground wholly, some of the tall grass peeking up from the stark whiteness. It was dead, browned, but perfect for deer and other wildlife to pick at as they tried to survive the coldness of winter. Scrawny trees lined the back of it, ancient bird nests, no longer in use, were visible due to an utter lack of leaves. The distant, snowcapped mountains towered above it all.
A cold chill rushed over him, pulling at the long sleeves of his hakama. The white of the robe itself blended in with the white snow.
Against his own will, Sesshoumaru felt a tightness form in his chest. An image that he didn't want to see formed before him, so tangible he thought he might be able to reach out and touch it. A tall man with silver hair held in a high ponytail was standing in that field. His armor gleamed in the sun, reflecting with transcendental light. Two swords ran along his back, and another hung at his hip. Sesshoumaru's whole body twisted without him moving a muscle. A pain weighed in his chest, and he suddenly felt exactly like the landscape around him, desolate and alone.
One clawed hand reached without thought towards the sword that rested against Sesshoumaru's own hip. The pads of his fingers found the hilt. They ran across it. They brushed the fine metal and the binding. They fell back his side.
"Chichue."
He didn't realize he had spoken until a nearby deer ran off, startled by the sound of his voice. Predator instinct made him follow the motion. A part of him wanted to do more than just follow. He felt his claws swirl with energy, poison. Anger that he tried to keep hidden in the darkest place within him flared to the surface. His face split opened, fangs forming a horrific snarl, and he leapt upwards. His claws came down in a wide arch, poison flying from them.
The innocent creature didn't have a chance.
It fell to the ground, slashed opened. Blood splattered on the snow, marring its serenity. Sesshoumaru landed, claws not even dirtied by the encounter. His energy had done everything without the claws having to. Staring darkly at the body, he watched as the blood flowed out, red and hot, melting the snow around it. And against his will, he saw his father standing on that beach once more. In his mind's eye, he watched as the older man turned to him, a melancholic smile lining normally happy features.
"Do you have something," He had coughed, blood flying into the air, but Inutaisho didn't stop. He looked at his son, blood dribbling down his chin and finished, "You wish to protect, Sesshoumaru?"
Sesshoumaru walked away, starting back down the path, leaving the deer carcass behind in that field from so long ago.
-break-
The castle was easy to get into. Sesshoumaru didn't even have to try, really. It had fallen into horrible disrepair long ago due to a fight between his father and some human man possessed by an evil spirit. They had nearly burned the building to the ground, taking both their bodies to hell, and leaving scarred earth behind. What they had been fighting over, Sesshoumaru knew well. It wasn't something he liked to think about. In fact, he would much rather think of his father than the woman his father had loved.
Jumping over the castle wall, Sesshoumaru found there wasn't a single sentry to deal with. He quietly eyed the pathway that led to the second wall and finally the inner compound where the family no doubt lived. No one had noticed him. A lack of man power made it easy for him to stand and observe the human home. The once beautiful sakura trees that lined the path were all but gone. Either they had died and been removed for wood, or they had been destroyed by his father and the human suiter nine years before. There was no way of telling which, but it was obvious that the humans hadn't bothered to re-landscape.
The walls were crumbling in places, both the outer one behind him and the secondary one that rested a good quarter of a mile in front of him. Remnants of the fire that had destroyed the original building marred both, showing that they had never been truly rebuilt.
In the distance, he could make out the castle. It was but a fraction of the size of the one he remembered seeing almost twenty years before. The red wood, so favored by nobility, was dull, chipping, and unkept. The roof tiles were falling in places, and the large entrance door appeared cracked to his sharp eyes.
Sesshoumaru felt a strange satisfaction from witnessing the compound's impending downfall. He had, after all, made it his mission over the past nine years to bring this kingdom to its knees. He had cut off their ties with their once human allies by allowing rumors to spread of the half breed spawn of the royal family. And that lack of alliances was, most likely, the first nail in the kingdom's coffin. He had then cut off their trade routes, taken away the peace agreement that his father and Tokugawa-sama had once made. He had even convinced the local kitsunes to abandon the kingdom and persuaded the nature spirits that lived in the forest, the ones who planted the trees and blessed the crops, to make their home elsewhere.
Masashi had lost nearly everything because of this ambition, leaving them nearly penniless and starving. Still, the kingdom's downfall had not been entirely instigated by Sesshoumaru's actions. An ill-advised war with the wolf clan and cat clans to the East as well as his own kingdom in the west had obliterated their armies and the male population. The lack of working men had taken a grave toll on their taxes, and that had taken a toll on the reconstruction process.
A noise to his left gave Sesshoumaru pause. Turning just his eyes towards the sound, he watched as two samurai, young in face and no doubt skill, finally spotted him. They were shaking from the sight, having most likely never seen a humanoid demon this close before. The fear left them soon enough, however, and they screamed, raising the alarm.
Suddenly, without even understanding why, Sesshoumaru felt a warped sense of malice grab at his heart. The samurai were running towards him, weapons drawn. He could hear the pull of bow strings as sentries that hadn't been on duty earlier prepared to attack.
But he didn't move. The world slowed down. He didn't hear the samurai. Didn't see them as they charged. He only saw his own memories, playing out before him as if a dream. Unbeknown to his father, Sesshoumaru had been there nine years prior. He had watched from a pretty grave distance as his father had fought to reach the woman who had carried a child out of love. He had stared in amazement as Tessaiga decimated everything around it. The attack his father was able to deliver over and over again, destroyed the trees, broke the walls, killed the armies of humans who guarded the one human Inutaisho wanted so desperately to protect.
"One day, Sesshoumaru," His father had said as his blood was caught by the waves, pulled to the ocean. The look that formed in his golden eyes was one of pure and utter devotion. "You will find something to protect…"
Tensing, Sesshoumaru didn't hesitate any longer. He summoned energy into his hands, forming a whip that his mother had taught him to make using his demon blood. Easily, he pulled it back to his face before releasing it outwards. The first samurai that had run towards him screamed as the whip tore him into two completely disconnected pieces. The body flew apart, each half landing a good distance away from the unfazed demon lord.
The dog demon then proceeded to duck down, and shoot forward, performing the action again and again. Man after man fell, limbs torn clean off, bodies halved, heads decapitated, screams barely leaving lips. The passage of time became irrelevant. Each second turning into another body until Sesshoumaru jumped over the secondary wall. But even then, crouched on the other side, time didn't come to him in seconds or minutes. Time came in bodies.
He would never know how many he cut down. It didn't matter. Even if they were the men who had fought his father, they were not the source of his pain. They were human. They were insignificant. And they were blocking him from his duty.
"Stop!"
For whatever reason, the old man's voice registered in Sesshoumaru's brain. He landed before the old man who was standing at the entrance to the castle. Sesshoumaru narrowed his gaze, hiding his surprise as he stared down at his grey hair, dark eyes, and wrinkled face. It took only one inhale for Sesshoumaru to smell the scent of half breed on him. Standing straight, his full height a good three feet or more above the human's head, Sesshoumaru didn't question the lack of guards. He knew they were all dead by his hand.
"Where is he?" Sesshoumaru asked even though it was a pointless question. He could have found the child easily, blindfolded in the dark.
"You look like him," The old man spoke, spitting as he did. "The bastard who did this to my daughter!"
The young lord didn't need to be told who the old man was. "Tokugawa." He didn't add the honorific to the end.
"Who the hell are you demon!?" The man spat and took a step forward. He had a cane in his hand, and on the cane, Sesshoumaru smelt the half breed's blood.
Rage, blinding, searing, and devastating filled every ounce of Sesshoumaru's body. The look that crossed his face must have been horrendous because the human man's own face went pale. He stumbled backwards, tripping on the cane. His old body fell to the ground, a heap of bones and flesh. Tokugawa tried to open his mouth, to scream, to beg for mercy, but Sesshoumaru slit the man's throat with his own hands before a word slipped forth.
The blood on Sesshoumaru's claws was bright red and hot and cathartic.
"One day you will," His father had continued, death gripping his voice. "And on that day..."
He ignored his father's voice and turned away from the broken man on the ground. As he turned, he caught sight of the kingdom out of the corner of his eye. Bodies littered the ground, a few women and young children cowered behind bushes, building edges, and against the walls, hoping not to be seen. Sesshoumaru thought to kill them, but in the end, for whatever reason, decided against it.
-break-
The basement wasn't hard to find. He merely had to follow the scent of hanyou blood, feces, and his father. The door that the child was behind was locked and made of metal. It stood out against the stone, and Sesshoumaru wondered if it had been chosen because the hanyou showed signs of potential. Perhaps his hands contained claws that Tokugawa thought he might use to slash the door. Still, Sesshoumaru highly doubted that the half breed would have enough demon attributes to be dangerous. He was a mistake of nature, after all.
With his raiser sharp claws, he made quick work of the lock and pushed the door opened. The scrambling of tiny feet caught his attention briefly. Light from the hallway torches flooded into the darkened chamber, but his sharp eyes easily found the hanyou in the dark. The creature was cowering in a corner in the entirely empty room.
Holding his breath against the smell of shit, Sesshoumaru stepped forward, choosing to glide so his feet didn't have to touch the filthy ground. He didn't hesitate when the child plainly began to cry. He merely reached down, grabbed it by the collar, and yanked it from its corner.
Giant sobs left the tiny body, but Sesshoumaru didn't look down. He merely transformed into his light shape, hoping the child would withstand the journey in energy form. He zipped from the room, flying down the hallways, and out the entrance. Quicker than light almost, he took to the sky, the world blurring at the edges around him. It took no longer than five minutes to reach the field.
Seeing it as a good enough place as any to stop, Sesshoumaru untransformed, becoming solid once more. He landed directly in the middle of the snow-covered field. Unceremoniously, he dropped the child to the ground, ears just picking up the shocked squeak that left the boy's mouth.
Annoyed by the sound, Sesshoumaru looked down for the first time at his brother. If he would have been any other person, he would have gasped, as it were, Sesshoumaru's eyebrow merely raised.
His father's eyes were looking directly back at him. The two golden orbs misplaced on a tiny face that was smudged with dirt and scum and grime. Silver hair, choppy, unsmooth just like their father's wrapped around the boy's tiny frame. It was disgusting, coated in what looked like old blood and, hopefully, dirt. Twin ears, triangular and more dog than demon seemed to be the source of that blood. It appeared as if someone had tried to cut them off.
The tiny body sniffed. The golden eyes, dull and listless, came back to life. The instinct of the demon half of the child had told him to inhale. His little nose, their father's nose, twitched, taking in his elder brother's scent. Just like any other demon child, he recognized the ties of familial blood. But the child didn't move. Even if one is family, that doesn't mean a pup is safe. This was not a natural instinctive response brought on by the demon blood in his veins. Unfortunately, it was a learned behavior that had been literally beaten into the pup's heart. Regardless, the little boy couldn't help but hope.
Watching the slight hope fill those golden irises, Sesshoumaru actually, physically, stepped back away from the child. Face remaining impassive, he dropped his eyes to the far too small body. The pup appeared dangerously malnourished. The thought made Sesshoumaru wonder, briefly, when the pup's mother had died. How long had it taken Myoga to come to him? It must have been at least a month if the pup's condition was any indication.
The fire rat fur, one their father had often worn, had shrunken itself to fit the tiny body. The slight darkening of the fabric's inner seams, a telltale sign that the magical garb had shrunken recently, told a horrible tale of starvation. The child couldn't have weighed more than thirty pounds, and at nearly eight summer's old, that was deadly. Still, it looked as if the fire rat had done its job. The only opened wounds on the boy were on his ears.
Unnerved by the sight and the fact that it made him even angrier, Sesshoumaru looked deliberately back into the boy's eyes, hating the way they reminded him of his father. "Can you speak?"
The child went ridged, fear mounting on his features. His mouth opened and little fangs peaked out, not as long as Sesshoumaru's but decent, demon. "Hai." He spoke so quietly that a human wouldn't have heard.
"At least, you're not completely dumb—thank father's blood for that." Sesshoumaru scented the air and contained a blanch. He could still smell the shit and grime and blood on the boy. Leaning his head back, he inhaled, latching onto a nearby water source.
Bending down, not caring when the boy ducked trying to escape his capture, Sesshoumaru grabbed the back of the fire rat once more. Turning into a ball of light, he shot them towards the small lake he could smell. It was close to the mountains, a good half a mile away from the barren field. Landing there, he abruptly threw the boy headfirst into the water the second he came out of the light transformation. Luckily, it was warm enough that the lake wasn't completely frozen over.
Breaking the very thin layer of ice, the child disappeared underneath the water's surface and came up spluttering seconds later. The shore of the lake was pretty shallow, allowing the boy to stand in the hole in the ice that had been created by his body. The ice continued to crack around him and since the edge of the lake was the only part actually frozen, it drifted away, leaving the child with a decent sized area to move.
"Bathe." Sesshoumaru commanded, not waiting for the child to respond. Instead, he turned his back on him and headed towards a nearby tree. Leaning against it, beside a tiny stone marker, he looked out towards the boy.
Sure enough, he had obeyed although it was obvious he had never really tried to wash himself alone before. He was splashing in the water, playing as it were. His whole face seemed delighted, eyes actually happy as he brought the water up and splashed it on his face. A soft giggle, childish and surprisingly innocent, filled the air as the boy gave up on standing and dropped to a sitting position. The water came up well over his shoulders, and he paddled around. It seemed he either instinctively knew how to swim or had been taught.
Vaguely, Sesshoumaru registered that the boy didn't seem bothered by the cold. Humans, Sesshoumaru knew, were usually bothered by extreme temperatures. Demons, on the other hand, were generally undeterred by them. Snow, heat, wind, rain. None of them were anything all too serious for a full-blooded canine or feline demon. Their bodies were ridiculously tough. And, judging by the boy's unhindered splashing, the demon blood in his veins was more predominant than Sesshoumaru had thought it would be.
The child ducked his head under then and came back up with a grimace on his face. Sesshoumaru watched, feigning disinterest as the boy raised up an unexpectedly clawed hand. For some reason, Sesshoumaru had figured he would have human nails over claws.
The child touched one ear and winced, bringing his hand away. The blood had washed out of his hair somewhat, fading to faint pink in the places it had stained the silver. No new blood appeared either, so Sesshoumaru suspected the ears were healing with demonic speed. Not that he cared.
Leaning against the tall tree, standing just behind the tiny stone marker, Sesshoumaru allowed the child some more time to splash about the water. The longer the child did, the more likely the smell on him was to go away. Finally, after what must have been at least half an hour, Sesshoumaru pushed himself away from the tree and walked back towards the lake.
"Pup," He called, not really registering the term, just instinctively using it. The boy looked up at him, some of the fear having left his eyes now. "Get out."
The child listened instantly, wadding towards the shoreline, and pulled himself out of the lake. Then, he sank to his haunches and very much like a dog would, shook himself.
Absolutely horrified by the disgraceful action, Sesshoumaru snarled in the tongue of his ancestors, using a language the pup may or may not have understood.
Promptly, the boy froze, understanding the sound of an alpha's displeasure.
Seeing red, even though the child had obeyed his command, Sesshoumaru crossed the short distance between them. Pulling his hand back, he struck the child straight across the face. The force lifted the boy up off the ground, sending him skidding across the snow that lined the lake's banks. Sesshoumaru didn't register that the boy stayed silent through the abuse. If he had, the very thought of how a child could grow used to such a thing would have eaten at his soul.
"Don't you ever," Sesshoumaru snapped as he approached the boy. "Do something so beneath our blood again!"
The hanyou rolled onto his side, but didn't move to fight back. Instead, he curled up, pulling his tiny clawed hands over his head.
A strange conflicting feeling mounted in Sesshoumaru's heart, and he stopped dead in his tracks. The boy was shaking, whimpering so quietly only a demon could hear. He looked so tiny, sitting in the snow. His silver hair nearly blended with it, the now faded blood stains on it making it stand out. The fire rat was already drying, appearing far cleaner after the pup's time in the water.
Sesshoumaru gulped, caught somewhere between anger and regret. It was a place he didn't like filled with emotions he didn't want to acknowledge at all. Raising up his hand, prepared to do something, but not entirely sure what, Sesshoumaru stopped when a soft sound permeated the air.
The child was humming.
A wave of shock went through the older demon, and he stepped away from the body with surprising haste. It was a crazy sound, a survival mechanism that only a child could develop to keep itself from going insane. Unknown to the Sesshoumaru, his face had completely unmasked. He was looking at the child with every horrible emotion he had ever felt surmounting on his features. His anger at his father, his hate for this boy's mother, his need and want for affection that neither of his parents gave, his jealousy that this child had been wanted and loved when he never had. All of it came rushing through him like a spark of lightning that hit him right on the base of his spine.
The little pup continued to hum, the sound of the song ancient and familiar. He had heard this song before as he trailed his father in the fields of Masashi. The little girl his father had saved, who would one day become this boy's mother, had hummed this same melody from the safety of his father's arms.
Sesshoumaru gritted his teeth. The jealousy grew ten-fold, and he snarled. The boy whimpered, but continued to hum. It was a little louder now as if the child was trying frantically to drown out the sounds. Blinded by fury, Sesshoumaru bent forward and grabbed the child by the back of the fire rat fur. The boy released an uneducated bark that was led by instinct and not by parental influence. It was a sound of submission and fear and begging.
Bringing himself nose to nose with the tiny welp, Sesshoumaru snarled louder than he ever had and threw the boy as hard as he could. The child slammed into the nearby tree, back snapping against the bark. He fell in a heap by the stone. Silence rang out as some of the snow fell from the tree branches, covering the child and the stone marker with a light dusting. The child didn't move, but his eyes did open, seeing the stone marker before him.
Sesshoumaru was to blind to see the child's eyes widen with a bit of realization before he started to cry once more. The sound of his sobbing only served to make Sesshoumaru more furious. What right did this child have to cry? He had been loved. He had been born to parents that had coupled due to affection and bounding. He had been held by his mother. She had sung to him, taught him songs, and cuddled him, wrapping him up in a blanket made of love.
To Sesshoumaru, Filthy trash like a hanyou didn't deserve such luxury.
"Get up," He knew he was being cold, but he couldn't stop the words.
"Hai," The boy responded behind him. Pushing himself to a standing position, the little one barely managed to stay on his feet as he looked up at his brother. "Nii-sama."
The demon in Sesshoumaru lost it. Whirling, he opened his mouth to snap, only to freeze at the sight of his father's eyes meeting his own once more. They were held in that hollowed face; the hope having left them completely. A strange sensation ran through Sesshoumaru. Those eyes filled him with something he had never known: guilt.
And, deep in his gut, Sesshoumaru knew why.
It was because those eyes didn't look like his father's, not at all. His father's eyes had been full of mirth, even when irritated or annoyed by his child, his father had looked at him with kind, loving golden eyes. They were eyes that held untold affection. Eyes that said things to Sesshoumaru without words ever leaving his father's lips.
And even though the child's eyes were the same gold as their father, they weren't the same eyes. They didn't hold the same sweetness, the same love.
No. The child's eyes looked like Sesshoumaru's own.
Sesshoumaru knew in that moment he had wronged this child, but the pettiness of a too young heart didn't allow him to really admit that truth. He shoved it down, along with the guilt he felt, and turned his back on the boy.
"One day you will," His father's final words, perhaps the last words he had ever spoken to Sesshoumaru's knowledge, repeated in his head for the second time that day. "And on that day, you will realize that you and I are more alike than you will ever know..."
Sesshoumaru snarled, hating the memory with his entire form. "I have no desire," He spoke to the child. "To protect you." The words were horrible, but that didn't stop Sesshoumaru at all. "So, don't you ever call me your brother again," He spoke in a cold calculating tone that left little room for argument. "Hanyou."
-break-
Walking through the forest, Sesshoumaru didn't bother to look behind himself at the teenager that followed. It had been a mere fifty-two years since he had found his brother rotting in his human grandfather's dungeon, and in that time, the two had learned to absolutely hate each other. It hadn't been a slow process for Sesshoumaru who had hated the child upon his very conception, but it had been for the boy himself.
At first, the child had clung to him, needing the older demon's protection from the carnivore, barbaric lesser demons that would feast on him for dinner. Sesshoumaru had tolerated the child's need for constant protection for only twenty years. During that time though, he had beaten him, screamed at him, left him for dead twice, and failed to protect him, intentionally, a handful of times. The boy had survived it all, however. Every beating had left him somehow stronger and the anger in his eyes a million times more odious. Every demon attack that Sesshoumaru allowed to occur had only taught him how to better use his claws and to hate himself for his mixed blood just a little more. The twenty years that Sesshoumaru had allowed the child to stay close to him, living in their father's castle, had been a life lesson for the child on survival. A lesson the boy had learned remarkably well.
But it hadn't all been about life or death. Doing his duty as the elder son, Sesshoumaru had made sure the child could read, write, and calculate. At first it had been difficult. Finding a demon willing to tutor the child was hard, but Myoga had stepped in easily enough. The tiny flea had taught the boy when no other would, not that Sesshoumaru really cared. It was merely a duty left to him; one that Sesshoumaru took seriously.
For a good thirty-two years after that, Sesshoumaru had simply extended his protection to the child when there was dire need for it. The boy had gone off into the world, staying within Sesshoumaru's territory, of course, due to his age, but no longer living in the safety of the palace. Sesshoumaru had issued a decree against the clan attacking the boy, all without the child's knowledge, and had even warned the other clans, the wolves, the kitsune, and the cats, against messing with the hanyou. Once more, this had been done without the boy's knowledge.
Then, he had kept an eye on him using a combination of Myoga and Jaken, among other lesser servants. Only once had he stepped in and saved the young pup from death at the hands of a group of lesser Oni. Sesshoumaru had made sure the child had no idea it was him that had cut down the stupid creatures pursuing him. To this day, Sesshoumaru was pretty sure the boy had no idea that he had killed the creatures.
Now, in the present, he was walking with the boy trailing behind him. The two hadn't talked in a good fifteen plus years, neither wanting anything to do with the other. But seeing as the child was reaching maturity, it was time for Sesshoumaru to do his last duty as the eldest brother. He had, therefore, literally dropped in on the boy. The hanyou had been living, it seemed, in a small cave close to the Southern boarder. Sesshoumaru had only spoken briefly at the sight of him, telling the boy to follow. The hanyou had obeyed, albeit begrudgingly.
For the past hour, he had followed behind his brother, not letting the man out of his sight. Silence had reigned between them, occasionally broken up, oddly as it sounded, by the boy humming under his breath. The familiar melody would grace the air for all of a minute, maybe two, then the hanyou would catch himself, stop and growl. Sesshoumaru didn't comment on the sound or the memories that lurched up in him of every other time he had heard it.
But it seemed, after an hour of walking, the boy's patience with him had finally snapped, and the humming made way for irritation. "Oi!" The hanyou called. Sesshoumaru didn't bother to acknowledge the sound. "Where the fuck are you taking me?"
Hating the filthiness of the boy's mouth, Sesshoumaru growled, telling the boy in their native tongue to watch himself.
The child didn't seem to care for the directive, "I've got a right to know." He fired back, not using their native language. It wasn't something he cared to use. "You finally gonna bite the big one?" He continued to mock, pressing every button with the efficacy of a younger sibling. "You gonna kill me? You'd make Oyaji roll in his grave."
The lack of respect for their father made Sesshoumaru tense. "Use the proper term, filthy hanyou. Don't be disrespectful to our sire."
"Do you not hear yourself talk?" The hanyou fired back with a snicker. "Tell me to be respectful to our father and call me a filthy hanyou in the same breath." The snicker turned into a sarcastic sneer. "You're the one who needs a lesson in respect, baka." He let the term drip off his tongue, not minding his own hypocrisy in the least.
Whirling around, Sesshoumaru didn't hesitate to send a punch towards the boy. What he hadn't expected, however, was the reaction. Years of neglect, years of abuse, years of having to actually fight for his right to live had given the hanyou skill Sesshoumaru hadn't been expecting.
The boy dodged him, catching the dog demon's hand in his own. He yanked his brother forward, loving the shock on his face, and kneed him straight in the gut, just below the smooth breast plate he wore. Sesshoumaru actually felt the wind leave his lungs, but the sensation didn't last long. The hanyou may have been able to take a cheap shot, but that didn't mean Sesshoumaru was down.
Eyes flashing red, Sesshoumaru righted himself, grabbed the hanyou's throat, squeezed, and threw. The red clad body flew through the air, hitting a tree. It snapped in two from the force of his body colliding with it. He flew through the space between stump and falling trunk, only stopping when he hit another tree. The force of the first hit had diminished his speed just enough that he didn't go through this one. Instead, he hit it square on and slid down the trunk, leaving a crack in it that would most likely kill the tree over the course of the next few years. The first tree crashed down in front of him, taking out one or two smaller ones that got in its way as it fell. It rolled slightly but stopped well before it would have hit the hanyou.
Nothing more than a heap on the ground, the hanyou didn't move for some time. He sat there, legs stretched out in front of him, eyes looking down at his bare feet. Silence hung in the clearing. The animals had been stunned by the outburst. The birds had flown away. The summer sun hung limply in the sky overhead.
"Why," The hanyou began. There was no pain in his voice. He was used to the abuse. "Why do you hate me?"
Sesshoumaru didn't respond. He only stared. The tree that had been cut down was thick, blocking some of Sesshoumaru's view of the boy.
"What did I ever do to you?" The hanyou raised up his head; his father's eyes, eyes which held all the emotion Sesshoumaru had been taught not to express, lighting on his older brother. "I was born? Was that it?" His voice cracked. "Fuck me, right?" He stood up on shaky feet. "Fuck me for being put on this god forsaken Earth! It's all my fault, isn't it?" There was a sarcasm there, painful and real. "I'm the reason your father, the great demon lord of the fucking Western Lands, degraded himself so he could rut on a human!" The hanyou didn't even appear to hear his own words any more. "I somehow caused it all!" He opened his arms wide, allowing a life time of hatred to spew forth. "If that's the case, then why the hell did you come for me? I was locked up. I would have died in a week, maybe a month." His eyes were near hysterical. "You should have just fucking left me to die, Sesshoumaru!"
Sesshoumaru winced. That was the first time ever that the boy had called him by his name. And the way the hanyou said it was worse than every curse word the boy had unleashed. Generally, he didn't even bother to use a name when addressing his older brother. And he never dared to use Nii-sama except that one and only time fifty-two years before.
"Why?" The boy's voice broke again and his face screwed up. He may have been the size of an adult. He may have had the voice of a man. But he was very much a child still in many ways. "Why didn't you just leave me to die?"
Tears formed in his young eyes; Sesshoumaru could smell the salt of them. He looked away from the boy. "I have taken you to edge of my territory. It is time for you to leave, hanyou." He spoke bluntly, ignoring the smell. "My duty to you is done."'
The smell of tears disappeared, replaced by a scent Sesshoumaru had never let himself inhale once in the boy's life time. It was his natural scent, an odd combination of willow trees, clear, fresh water, and the soft, earthy smell that had been their father.
"Do you," The boy spoke, and the pain that lined every word was awful. "Even know my name?"
Closing his eyes, Sesshoumaru scoffed, "This Sesshoumaru would not degrade himself," He kept his voice even, monotone, but it came across as mocking. "By learning the name of a hanyou."
Sesshoumaru didn't hear the punch coming, and he felt foolish for thinking it wouldn't. The hanyou's fist connected with Sesshoumaru's cheek. The dog demon lord, not aware of what was coming and too arrogant to think it possible, actually went skidding a good ten feet before he flipped over his own head and landed gracefully on the ground. His cheek twanged with actual pain, and he looked up to see the hanyou standing not too far away.
The boy's hand was still extended from the hit. His intense eyes were dark with hatred that burned so deep, it might have consumed his soul. "My name," He bit out the words, every syllable laced with undeniable loathing. "Is Inuyasha."
Sesshoumaru didn't reply. He just watched as the boy straightened his body and dropped his arm. An urge filled him that he immediately squashed even as a memory of long ago made itself known in his mind. It was a memory he was taunted by, trapped by. The memory of his father as they walked down the human path, patrolling the boarder.
He could smell the flowers, hear the birds, and the sound of the wind whistling through the trees. He could hear his own voice, monotone then filled with fury. He could see his father sigh, shoulders hunching as he patiently tried to explain. But Sesshoumaru had been too young to listen then. He had been a foolish child trying to be a man. He had spoken words that couldn't be taken back, and done damage that couldn't be repaired. The stark similarity to then and now was not lost on the current dog demon lord. But, unlike back then, he was the adult this time. He was the one who needed to answer very valid questions spoken by a wronged pup. But just like his father before him, Sesshoumaru didn't know the right words. He didn't know the right gestures. He only knew how to allow the cycle to repeat itself once more.
"Know this, Inuyasha," Sesshoumaru whispered to the man across from him. "You are grown, my duty is done, and if I ever see you again," The two locked eyes, the gold both had inherited from their father molten. "I will kill you."
"I'd like to see you try, bastard." The hanyou snapped and jumped all at once, but he didn't go for Sesshoumaru. He went for the trees, disappearing amongst them as he retreated, knowing better than to attack again.
Sesshoumaru watched him go, not knowing that he wouldn't see the boy with his eyes opened again for over fifty years.
-break-
Time flowed, ebbing and moving, years turning into decades. Fate had woven a strange tale between the memories Sesshoumaru held of his brother and the man his brother eventually became. A miko, a jewel, a girl from a land beyond the well, a demon obsessed with power and lust, an adventure that had nearly ended in disaster for all involved, but had turned out remarkably okay in the end.
And, after all that time between his brother's parents meeting and the adventures that followed his brother leaving his kingdom, after all the life lessons, the love, the pain, and the loss, Sesshoumaru found himself once more in a field. It wasn't the same one from so long ago. It wasn't the one he had argued in with his father. It wasn't the one where Izayoi and Inutaisho had met for the second time. It wasn't the one he had thrown Inuyasha in as a child. It was one by Edo, the village Inuyasha now lived in with his foreign miko, and it was spring.
The flowers were in full bloom. In front of him, busying herself with a multicolored chain of them, Rin hummed gingerly.
Sesshoumaru, appearing essentially bored, turned an ear towards the young girl. She was becoming quite the woman lately it seemed. Since he had left her with Kaede eight years before, she had changed tremendously. The once boyish shape of a young girl had blossomed into the feminine shape of a young woman. Her kimono had filled out, soft breast giving it a rounded quality that was accentuated by obviously curvy hips.
She was wearing one of the many kimonos he had gotten for her. It was brightly colored with yellow flowers that highlighted the unique quality in her personality that he valued more than anything: the brightness and optimism that had allowed her to approach him and smile even when he had been cruel. That was the aspect of her that had made him not question when she followed him all those years ago. And, most importantly, it was the part of her that made him keep coming back even after he had returned her to the human world. He couldn't stay away from it, and deep down, he knew why.
The girl shifted in the sunlight, her now much longer brown hair brushing her waist but not quite reaching the ground. Under her breath, she was starting to put words to her humming. The sound was so quiet at first that Sesshoumaru couldn't make it out, but soon enough, it grew in volume. Her once childish voice was now a soft whimsical flirtation of sound that belonged to a full-grown woman. Yet, it wasn't the quality of her voice that drew him into the sound; it was the melody.
"Sakura sakura, noyama mo sato mo," Her pink lips barely parted to unleash the words, carefully forming each syllable. "Mi-watasu kagiri kasumi ka kumo ka—."
"Rin," He asked carefully, the song giving him absolute pause. "Where did you hear that song?"
Distracted by his interruption, Rin stopped singing and blinked. "Hm?" She looked up into his face, tilting her head to the side. Her brows furrowed for a minute and then she appeared to fully comprehend his question. "Gomen," She apologized good naturedly. "Inuyasha-sama sings it to his pups."
An odd lump formed in Sesshoumaru's throat that he couldn't quite explain, "It is not the miko's song?"
"No," Rin giggled slightly and continued threading the flowers together to make a necklace. "Inuyasha-sama told Rin it is a song of his mother." She continued to explain, completely unaware of what her words were doing to the introspective demon lord. "He taught it to Rin when she asked." She smiled happily. "Little Taisho and Izayoi love it."
Sesshoumaru frowned at the names. Although he knew Inuyasha had produced two children by the miko since her return five years prior, he hadn't known their names until now. "How old are they?"
Rin seemed unfazed by the question as she lifted up the chain, eyeing it carefully for symmetry. "The older one is three years and the new one is four months," She giggled. "Izayoi-chan can crawl now—she's the little one. And Taisho-chan likes to get into everything at Kagome-sama's hut. Inuyasha-sama once found him on the roof! No one has any idea how he got up there." A secretive smile formed on her enchanting face, and she lowered her hands down to her lap once more. "They both have the most," Her eyes became dreamy. "Adorable puppy ears."
In his mind's eye, Sesshoumaru saw Inuyasha's ears covered in blood, the backdrop of snow highlighting the angry red nature of it.
"The other day," Rin continued as she plucked a nearby yellow flower to add to the chain. "Rin saw Inuyasha-sama in the Goshinboku. He was rocking Izayoi-chan, singing 'Sakura, Sakura' to her." She finished adding the flower in and, satisfied, started to tie the chain together to complete the necklace. "Inuyasha-sama looked so happy. Rin—Rin felt happy too." The knot in the flower's stem slipped into place as she finished, and smiling sweetly, Rin rose up to her knees.
Sesshoumaru caught the motion out of the corner of his eye, but didn't move. Instead, he mutely watched as she scooted towards him, dirtying the edge of her kimono slightly as she moved across the grass. The yellow fabric grew a bit green as she came to rest more closely beside him. He should have felt annoyed by the sight, especially since he had just given her the kimono yesterday. Yet, Sesshoumaru found he couldn't be mad at her; he never had been able to.
The girl pursed her lips, and without asking permission, dropped the flower chain around Sesshoumaru's neck. The demon lord didn't resist although if someone, his brother perhaps, had emerged in that moment, he would have burned the chain with his energy before being caught dead with it on. The girl leaned back on her knees, studying the powerful man before her with the multicolored flower necklace around his neck.
He was looking back at her; his golden eyes distant in a way that gave Rin pause. Carefully, as she had many times as of late, she studied his features. The strong jaw that was so smooth captivated her. The markings on his face, denoting his breed, enthralled her. His hair pooling on the ground, intermingling with the flowers and grass, made her stomach knot. The way he laid on his side, supporting his weight on one elbow, legs outstretched, one knee upturned, made her feel distinctly special as did the lack of armor around his chest. He had removed it before sitting down with her, a sign of trust as well as a desire to be comfortable with her. Rin knew, without having to be told, that she was the only one on this earth that had ever seen the demon lord so relaxed.
Yet, at the moment, it was the look in his eyes that made her heart twist. It wasn't the normal twist she felt when watching him. Normally, she felt a pull and a yank, a delicious upside-down somersault of emotions that she was now old enough to understand. Tremors of affection, making way for true love. This time, however, the look made her heart twist with undeniable pain. She had never seen this particular look on the demon lord's face before. It was strange and a bit out of place. His eyes were hooded, haunted, and the gold of them was dark.
She had only seen that color once before, when Taisho had been born and hadn't cried right away. Back then, Inuyasha's eyes had been the same deep, dark-gold color that clouded Sesshoumaru's own in the present. It must have been familial. Perhaps it had been passed down from father to sons.
Shifting towards the lord before her, Rin reached out a delicate hand that bore evidence of the work she performed for Kaede, callouses and a little dirt beneath the nails she hadn't been able to clean effectively. Sesshoumaru didn't even seem to notice the movement, let alone the dirt. Gentle, probing fingers landed on his shoulder, and the demon lord's head snapped up clearly shocked.
Rin pulled away hastily, this time her heart did clench with the normal feelings. His eyes caught in the light of the sun, the gold turning bright and shimmering. Wide opened, staring at her, they filled to the absolute brim with a million emotions: anger, jealousy, fear, confusion, longing, want, and heady need, but most and far more importantly, regret.
Rin dropped her hand back down, this time lighting on just the edge of Sesshoumaru's white hakama sleeve, "Sesshoumaru-sama," Her lips barely moved to form his name.
He closed his eyes at the sound, and there seemed to be some struggle in him that Rin knew all too well. "Tell me Rin," His voice was quiet, uncharacteristic of him. Slowly, he opened his eyes, but he didn't look directly at her. "Will you sing it—," He hesitated which was so much more unrealistic that Rin's hands actually grasped his sleeve, rumpling it. "To our pups?"
The question caught Rin completely off guard. Her brown eyes raised up to look into the demon lord's own golden ones, and in them, she saw an old pain that she had always known was there. In all of her time with him, she had seen it, carefully contained as it were behind a mask that covered all emotions. Reaching out, Rin placed a hand on Sesshoumaru's cheek. It was a womanly hand that knew of the great pains that laid hidden so expertly in Sesshoumaru's eyes. He leaned into it, golden eyes closing as he allowed himself to sink into her comforting warmth.
The warmest smile to ever grace her lips spread across Rin's face from the sight of this powerful man leaning so sweetly into her small hand. "Yes," She whispered, and the warm air that carried the scent of spring flowers, Rin's natural scent, filled Sesshoumaru's whole soul, healing wounds that no one but her could see.
"One day you will and on that day, you will realize that you and I are more alike than you will ever know."
Sesshoumaru frowned darkly at the words, "I highly doubt that, Chichiue."
Inutaisho smiled, a knowing look crossing his face, but he didn't contradict the boy. He didn't need to. "Goodbye," He looked straight at Sesshoumaru for the very last time. "My son." He turned to leave, hoping Sesshoumaru had heard the words he could never say. Hoping he heard the unspoken—
—I love you...
-End-