Where Do I Fit?

by LockedHeartsandHandGrenades

Bella, not Edward, is the first to join Carlisle, she is seemingly happy in a family of couples. However her past continues to interfere with her new life, how long will Bella let this continue on for? Edward will feature later AU

3. Chapter 2 Thoughts of Home

Chapter Two: Thoughts of Home

BPOV

The flight as usual almost unbearable, in some ways I relished the chance to return to the Volturi, and yet as always I was filled with regret and uncertainty.

Was leaving my family the right choice? My mind would always scream yes, I loved them and that was un-doubtable, but I desperately needed my solitude. They had been for nearly a century my family, and yet there were moments when I doubted my choices. I was the odd one out in a family of blissfully happy couples. I answered these requests, not because I felt obliged but in order to escape the loneliness which engulfed me when I spent extended periods of time with my family.

It had been almost ten years since I had re-united with the Volturi and by now I needed the distraction, not only form my family but from my own thoughts. Seeing their love for one another, often made me reflect on my own life. I was now more certain than ever that I was destined to be alone for eternity. The Volturi provided a distraction from my loneliness, they gave me a way in which I could ensure my family could remain as blissfully happy as our existence allowed. This knowledge ebbed away at my un-certainty, until once again I was positive me returning to Volterra was the right choice.

I had once viewed the Volturi as my family, yet their love and acceptance was far overshadowed by the Cullen's. It had been with a heavy heart that I had left the Volturi, and chosen a life with the Cullen family. Although at the time the decision had been hard, I was un-wavering in my certainty that I had made the right choice. A century with the Cullen's had transformed my thoughts and beliefs of the world.

My most obvious similarity with the Cullen family had been our shared choice of diet, yet this had not been the sole factor in my decision to join the Cullen family. Of course back when I had first joined the Cullen's it had just been Carlisle. Over the years our family had expanded to its present size and in reflection with each new addition it had become more complete.