Disclaimer: As Chapter One; so please, for the love of God, do not make me keep writing it out people!
WARNING: BAD LANGUAGE, VIOLENCE AND SOME SEXUAL REFERENCES (though not too graphic) SO READ AT YOUR OWN PERIL.
All reviews, and constructive criticism, gratefully received – but no flaming please; and I will try to update regularly.
'Thoughts'
"Speech"
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OUTCASTS
Chapter Three – Admiration
Arthur strode to the stables with the other knights and Van hot on his heels "JOLS! Did she?" he could not finish as he saw the ashen squire come out to meet him.
"Honestly, I do not know; but I heard the little maid scream, that I did. There is also blood up there" he pointed to the hayloft where Kit had been sleeping "but she butchered a deer up there only a few days back and it could be the residue from that." He shook his head "I do not believe….I mean she would not have….would she?"
"Personally she has my total admiration." Lancelot spoke up, his tone reflecting his words.
"You admire her for murdering an infant!" Galahad looked ready to either kill or throw up.
"Whether she did it or not shows she has balls, you cannot take that from the wench." The dark knight nodded.
"She is a woman; she does not have balls as you so eloquently put it!" The young knight all but spat back.
"Listen, if she killed the child rather than let it's sad existence stretch before it like ours; or better yet played a formidable trick on all at this fort to make them think she did……the woman has as much balls as any one of us here present."
Arthur turned "Do you think she did it?"
"Does it matter?" Lancelot quirked an eyebrow "she was right, no one wanted it."
"She did not give anyone a bloody chance to want it!" yelled Galahad "She just slit its throat!"
"How do you know that is what she did? Did you see?" Gawain put in.
Galahad opened his mouth - and closed it again when he realised he hadn't.
Lancelot snorted in derision "Everyone here had plenty of chances to stop her, none did; no one can now bleat that they wanted yet another little beggar running around stealing scraps and then turning up dead down an alley one day. If she did do it, good luck to her – she had have made it quick, better than a lot of the orphans get here. I also doubt she would have slit her throat – not quick enough. A swift stab to the heart would have been almost instantaneous."
"You speak as though she only slaughtered a pig!" Galahad raged.
"She did the infant a service Galahad – you have seen what those children are subjected to, and apparently 'it' was a girl." He looked around suggestively before squaring up to the younger knight "what do you think would happen to her? Would you rather that life than a swift death? I swear boy, your soft soul will be the death of you one of these days; or one of us protecting you."
Arthur sighed and stepped between the two knights. "There will be ramifications; none here will let her just get away with this – we need to know if it was a ruse or a reality."
Just then Jols cried out from the battlements, where all began to run "LOOK! Over the hilltop!" they all arrived to see a thin plume of smoke rising.
"Oh dear Goddess – she bloody burnt her!" Galahad gasped.
"She said she would!" Lancelot rolled his eyes "it is our way – our custom. I want the same!" he rounded angrily on them "do not bury me in our sad little graveyard; burn me, and spread my ashes to the east wind!"
"But she was a child!"
"A child no one wanted. I did not see you run to rescue the scrap Galahad." Tristan growled as he passed on his way to the stables "that might bring trouble Arthur – I will scout."
Arthur nodded and followed him to the stables "if you happen across her – please try to ascertain what happened." He sighed and looked at the floor "but to me it looks as if she did do it."
"If she did, we are as much at fault as she. No one went to help the child did they? It would seem we are all animals this day." and with that he was gone.
Arthur sighed "you are right my friend, you are right. But I doubt anyone else would see it that way."
0-0-0-0-0-0
By the time Tristan reached the clearing where she should have been, it proved to be a false trail. He rubbed his face, why would she do that?
He travelled round for a few hours before finding the right trail which led to where she had burnt something and then following it to the river; her horse was there, but not her. He cast around for a few moments and then decided to go back into the trees……unaware that she was watching him from above.
During the course of the night she had melted into the darkness, when he crept back in the light of dawn she was once more gone. But it did look, he noted, as if only one body had slept there that night.
Following her trail once more he realised she was heading back to the wall – as it looked as if she had indeed killed the child, she was going back to almost certain death; none would let this go. Despite the fact that none had tried to stop her, to help the child; not one had stepped forward and offered to take the girl, to give aid in any way, all they would see is someone to vent their guilt on; the one who delivered the blow that freed the child from her miserable existence. He sighed, if only someone had had the courage to do that to him…..before he became…..
He shook his head; he was at peace with his lot in life. Like Kit, he did not really care for anyone and no one cared for him; he had his brother knights, but even they were a little wary of him, a little fearful.
Nay, he would die in battle and that was that – he would die, in a bloody fight to the death. Each time he rode out he cared not if he rode back…..something told him she felt the same.
He was riding quickly, wondering if he should risk catching her up and telling her to stay away from the fort, when a movement in a tree caught his eye. 'Damn! Woads!'
Just as suddenly an arrow flew past and dropped the blue man from the branch.
"RUN!" A female voice yelled.
He kicked his horse and they flew through the trees, but they ended up having to fight, and in the melee he lost her again.
There had been no sign of the child though, and so he decided she had done it – the infant was dead and burnt; her ashes spread to the east wind as Lancelot said, it was their custom.
0-0-0-0-0
It took Tristan all that day to catch her up, she settled on the edge of a clearing – using the grassy area to set up a fire and was practicing her swings, blocks and turns. He stayed transfixed for some time – but eventually wondered if he would not be doing her the same favour if he did to her what she had done the child. If she went back, they would crucify her for sure.
At that moment another movement caught his eye and he saw her make a face before plopping down in front of the object; he felt all the blood leave his head as she spoke "so little demon what shall I do with you? Shall we have another go at names, eh? I am…." She hesitated "Kit, we will stick with Kit for now. You are?" she pointed at herself then at the child.
"Mama!" a chuckle accompanied the little voice as if playing some great joke on the woman before her.
'THE CHILD!' His mind reeled 'she did not kill her!' He did not know whether to be happy or disappointed; happy that the child lived, and so she would too. Or disappointed that she did not have the courage to end the scrap's suffering as he had hoped she had……why should another be consigned to their miserable existence? He continued to watch the exchange.
"Again – me, Kit." Kit pointed to herself "You?"
"Mama!" the little girl chuckled again delightedly.
"Nay, Kit. You?"
"Mama!"
"Nay, you are too young to be mama, and I am too old to be you." she sighed and thought for a moment "as we do not know your name or are ever likely to it seems -I will call you Maya which means princess in my language" she reached over and ruffled the child's hair "it was also my little sister's name. She was good and kind, and a princess in every way. Or I could call you Tabiti? That is the name of one of the Goddesses of my people – it was also the name of my daughter…." Her voice tailed away briefly "So much loss and death surrounds me…still, you wish to be here so you have none to blame but yourself."
She reached over and patted her little arm "So, Maya I think it will be…did I hurt you muchly when I pinched you? My, but did you scream." She smirked as she pulled the child down "sleep now, you must be good because you have cost me dear today for our little game – a goodly piece of my venison I burnt for you today to make them fools think I was burning your little corpse." She smiled darkly "I wager they are there now all trying to work out how I did it…..and if they sent the scout to check I needed to make sure it looked as if a meaty body was burnt." She squidged the little girl's arm causing her to giggle "and meaty you are – your kinfolk fed you well it seems."
Tristan realised she was right, he also wondered if he should give himself up – the decision was made for him an instant later……he found a blade near his eye "Seen enough?"
"Why did you let them think you had killed her?"
She stepped back, but did not let her blade down as he stepped into the clearing "why should I not? It annoyed me that because I found her she was automatically mine…..that no one stepped in to help her when that Romanic pig was going to drown her."
Tristan nodded "I think they would like to hunt you like one."
"A roman?"
"Nay, a pig."
"Let them try……."
He nodded and stepped round her to the child "She is blond like you, but her eyes are not so blue."
"Are they blue, my eyes? I never noticed." She shrugged as he nodded.
"I will leave you then." He went to move off and heard a snort of derision "what?"
"You are as bad as the rest – terrified of an infant."
His eyes narrowed "I fear naught."
"Not even death? Your comrades do, I see it in their eyes."
"What in mine?"
She stepped to him and stared deeply into his eyes, hers widened suddenly and she moved quickly back "I do not see fear." She agreed.
He realised he had held his breath as she had raised on tip toes to see his eyes, her lips had hovered so close to his he could have sworn he felt the heat from her skin.
"You see something else?"
"Nay." She would not look at him.
"You lie."
She sighed "I see in you, what is in me; naught else."
He stood motionless for a moment, the weight of her words hitting home - when she looked round he was gone.
She awoke with a start in the middle of the night, her hand immediately drawing her dagger…….to find an apple by her; she smiled as she sat up slightly and began to eat it.
0-0-0-0-0-0
At the same time back at the fort Dagonet suddenly sat bolt upright in bed "she did not kill the bairn! She did not kill the bairn!" He got quickly out of bed and donned breeches and shirt, before knocking up Gawain – the only other to truly believe she had not committed such a grievous act.
"Gawain! Gawain! Are you awake?" he rapped on the young knight's door.
A bleary eyed blond opened it, pushing his hair out of his face "it is the middle of the bloody night Dag, why would I be sleeping?"
"She did not kill the bairn!"
Gawain was immediately awake "How do you know?" he pulled the large knight inside, but before he could close the door Lancelot and Bors were pushing their way in.
"What made you guess?" the dark knight asked.
"How did you know he was here?" Gawain nodded at Dag.
"Are you mad?" Lancelot queried incredulously "he was making enough noise to wake the dead and I bumped into this one" he motioned to an upset and hollow eyed Bors "wandering around muttering about 'the poor wee little maid' an hour ago. He has been in my room since then." He rolled his eyes.
Gawain smirked as Dag pulled a face "Did I mention she did not kill the bairn?"
"Aye, I think we got that Dag." Lancelot sighed "but what makes you think so? Either way I admire her – her determination to make a point, or her determination not to let the child suffer…"
"She did not?" Bors' red rimmed eyes swung to his large friend and brother "you think the little maid yet lives? Oh I hope to the Goddess she do…..the poor wee little maid."
Lancelot rolled his eyes at the other two before narrowing them at Bors "have you been weeping? Ye GODS! You have!"
Bors shoved him "Nay, I have not! It is lack of sleep and nothing more…..mayhap a little too much ale also; but I do not weep for a babe!"
The other three looked unconvinced and Dag, who knew his soft spot for children well, stifled a smile "so do you wish to know how I guessed?" he took pity on his friend and brother by diverting the attention of their comrades back to himself.
"Aye, tell us then as you felt it could not wait until the morrow." Gawain grinned as a knock sounded on the door and Arthur walked in.
"I was out walking and saw your candle lit Gawain….is all well?"
"By the Goddess you miss naught Arthur." Smirked Lancelot.
Their commander dipped his head and retorted dryly "A good leader never misses anything Lancelot – possibly explains why I lead and you follow."
"Ah, as you did not miss that the woman apparently did not slay the child?" he shook his head at the look of relief on Arthur's face "does it matter so much that she did not? How many sons and daughters have we slaughtered in the name of Rome?"
"That is different Lancelot as well you know, we kill those that try to kill us or threaten the order we have here – they are old enough to fight back; I doubt even you could argue that child was old enough to hold a sword."
Dag grumbled his irritation and took Gawain to one side "I will show you how I know." They left to go to the stables and the others followed.
When they got there they went to the hayloft and Dag moved some hay aside and pointed to a number of items stowed there "she has large saddlebags, so why leave all this?"
"Why?" Bors still could not see; but the others did.
"She put the child in the bag?" Gawain mused.
"Aye, she must have…..cannot see any other way to get the maid outside without being seen."
"But the scream?" Arthur reminded them.
"Could have been her…."
"Nay, I have daughters – that were a child's yell." Bors shook his head.
"Then mayhap she smacked her or some such….either way the child is living."
"Ah but what of the bloody bundle?" Lancelot asked.
"Venison." Dag smiled "Jols said she had come back with a dead deer only a few days before; probably wrapped it up and brought it out….."
"There was fresh blood on her hand." Lancelot again made a good point.
"It were not the maid's of that I am certain – she may have used blood from the deer's meat, or even herself; I suppose it is possible she even nicked the child. But the little one lives."
"Are you sure you just cannot accept that she is as cold blooded a killer like Tristan?" the dark knight looked steadily at Dagonet "you think so much of folk Dag; you cannot accept another might be as brutal as we."
"Nay, nay Lancelot – even Tristan would not do this thing, and I am certain now neither would she."
"I am not sure our scout would not do such a thing if he thought it a mercy. I had to agree with what he said – the child's existence would have been miserable, death would be a release for her….however unpalatable to us."
"He would not; his scouting was merely a way for him to check and ensure what we have also now realised – the child lives." Dag was adamant.
"I have to agree with Lancelot Dag – look at Bedivere; when it was obvious we could not bring him back without great suffering, Tristan finished him when we all balked at the task – even I." Arthur pointed out.
"That was different, Bedivere was a man – full grown and a warrior; Tristan only did what we would wish in those circumstances. Also why kill the roman if she did not wish to save the child?"
"She hates Romans that I know to be fact." Arthur nodded.
"Aye and drowning is a brutal way to kill – especially a child. She is no brute; cold blooded killer aye, but no brute." Lancelot added.
"Well, this is his evidence to the child's survival – you have your suspicions as to her death. We will only know the truth if and when Kit returns and agrees to divulge it." Gawain nodded and yawned "for me my bed is calling, so I will away to answer it." He made his way back to the barracks.
As they left, Bors slapping Dag on the back and entreating him "I hope you are right mate, Goddess I hope you are right".
Arthur turned to Lancelot "What say you Lancelot? Do think the child lives or has perished?"
He was silent for a moment then smiled "lives…..Dag is a good judge of character Arthur. If he says she would not kill the maid, she would not."
"Why then play such a sick jest?"
"Mayhap because she felt it wrong for folk to expect her to take the bairn, for them to cast the brat off so easily." Tristan's voice broke in.
Both men turned to the scout "What say you on this?" Arthur asked "You and she are much alike Tristan. So do you think she could have harmed the girl?"
Tristan stared at them levelly "if are you asking if I could do it – the answer is aye if the need arose. If you are really asking if she had done it – the answer is possibly. Like me I think she would if the need was there; we would not see any living thing suffer." He strode away.
"Was that an answer?" Lancelot smirked to his commander.
"As much as we will get from him I think."
"He knows….whatever the truth of it, he knows."
"Aye, well, either way he is not telling us it seems. As Dagonet says, we must wait and see if she returns and then find out from her."
They walked back to their respective rooms; Gawain stood waiting for Tristan, having passed him on the way to their quarters.
"She did not, did she?" Tristan merely cast him a long glance, but Gawain knew the scout enough to know the look "I did not think so." He smiled "Dag turned into quite the tracker to work it out though – you would be proud." Tristan only flashed a smile and disappeared into his room.
Gawain shook his head and shut his own door.