Special thanks to Lady Emma Wentworth
The rest of the day passed by without anything major going on and it wasn't until the car ride home that Daisy realized that Jack had barely said anything to her all afternoon. She knew that she hadn't been very talkativebut usually Jack couldn't shut up. When they arrived home they sat in the driveway for a minute, neither one getting out of the car. Daisy eventually left Jack and went inside.
Jack stayed sitting there after Daisy was gone; he really didn't know what to say to her anymore. Guilt was eating at him; he had spent so long preparing for the worst and it turned outexactly the opposite as he thought it would. But, that was Daisy; 'she is so like Rose, always believing the best in people.' Jack looked toward the house and smiled.
Inside Daisy dropped her bag on theliving room floor and slammed herself down on the couch. She noticed a box sitting on the floor next to the mantle. That was odd; she didn't remember it being there this morning, but then she never was a morning person. She heard the front door open and close, and then Jack walked into the living room to sit down beside her. They sat like that for a while, in total silence.
Daisy finally spoke first. "No more secrets, dad, please. I want to know everything." Jack walked over to the box and took out the framed picture that was right on top and handed it to her.
"Rose when she was your age." He said, handing it over to her. Daisy sat there staring at the face in the picture. Jack walked back over to the box. Taking out picture after picture, he placed them on the mantle. When he finished, there were pictures of Rose growing up mingled in with pictures of Daisy growing up.
"Dad, you said you travelled with my mom when she was an adult, so how do you have these pictures of her as a kid?" Jack smiled taking the picture from her and placing it on the mantle with the others.
"Remember I told you how, after your mother brought me back to life, I returned to Earth, but a hundred years too early? Well I watched her grow up. I never said hi or anything, I just watched from afar. Then when your mother and grandmother were on the list of the dead after the battle of Canary Wharf, I went to their old house and retrieved these pictures." He pointed to the one he had just placed and one of Rose sitting wrapping Christmas presents.
"What about the rest?" she said as she walked over to stand next to him. He flashed his wrist strap at her.
"When I ended up on the parallel world John fixed this thing to get me back here. This is a time travel device." Daisy's eyes went wide. She knew he used his wrist strap for a lot of things but never time travel.
"Shortly after coming back here with you I figured one day you would want to know what your family looked like so I went back in time to the empty flat and found these." He pointed to two more pictures. "That one is of your grandparents and your mother when she was a baby. It was taken the day your grandfather died."
Daisy cut him off. "I thought you said my grandfather worked for Torchwood in the parallel world?"
Jack rubbed his head; he knew this all must be confusing to her. "He did. It's hard to explain. Pete Tyler died in this world when your mother, Rose, was a baby. But in the parallel world he was still alive. After your mom and grandmother became trapped there, he married your grandmother again." Daisy seemed to nod in understanding but Jack wasn't sure he even understood it completely. He pointed to another picture.
"This one is a picture of your mother and the Doctor. Since I couldn't find a picture of your dad, and since he looks exactly like the Doctor anyway, I figured it would work. Mind you the Doctor doesn't look like that any more."
Daisy picked up the picture of her mom and the Doctor. Her mom looked truly happy in the picture; she could see it in the way she looked at the Doctor. Since her dad was the Doctor's clone it might as well have been a picture of her parents. "What about these?" she said pointing to the last seven pictures.
Jack looked at each of the remaining pictures for a moment. There were so many memories attached to each one, so many good memories. "These are all pictures that I decided shouldn't be hidden away any longer, no matter how painful it might be for me to look at them."
Daisy looked at the pictures; she couldn't see why Jack had stored them away for so long. There were tons of pictures all over the house but she had never seen any of these people in those pictures. She pointed to the one on the end; she recognized Jack and her mother, but didn't know the other man.
"That was taken when I was travelling with your mom and the Doctor." Shelooked puzzled, her eyes darting back and forth between other pictures. "You see, Time Lords, when they die, they don't actually 'die', they 'regenerate'. It changes their entire body and so their appearance changes each time. That's the Doctor's ninth body," he pointed to the picture and then to the one of the Doctor and his mother. "That is his tenth body. Dinner?" Jack asked, abruptly changing the subject. He needed a few minutes alone, to process the emotions that came flooding back along with the memories. Daisy nodded not taking her eyes from the pictures. Daisy looked at the five remaining pictures. She really wanted to know who the people were but she didn't want to pry too much. She was still standing at the mantle, studying the faces in the photos when Jack came back into the room with a plate of food for her.
Jack caressed the frame around the first of the unidentified faces. "This is Estelle. We met during the war. She was seventeen, and I loved her at first sight. We vowed to love each other till we died. Then war separated us, like it did so many couples back then, and we never saw each other again. Many many years later, when she was an old woman, I posed as my own son and went to see her again. She died only minutes before I arrived; I couldn't save her." Tears threatened to run down Jack's face and his voice cracked with raw emotion.
Daisy now understood why these five pictures had been locked away; each one must have had a horribly sad story to go with it. Daisy set her plate down on the coffee table and picked up the picture of a Japanese woman.
"Toshiko Sato," Jack answered her unspoken question. "She worked with Gwen and me at Torchwood along with those two men." He pointed to two other pictures on the mantle. "She was a wiz at computers. Shot by my brother who was trying to get back at me. Even as she was bleeding to death she managed to save thousands of lives."
Daisy looked closely at the picture "She was beautiful. Did you love her like Estelle?" Jack started choking on the glass of brandy he'd chosen to have instead of dinner.
"No. I loved her as a dear friend but nothing more. She actually loved him." Jack pointed to a picture of an attractive young man in a lab coat. "Dr. Owen Harper. He never loved her back, though." Jack shook his head fondly. "Little bugger died on me. Twice!"
Daisy was starting to wonder if working for Torchwood was such a good idea after all; these people all seemed to have short lives.
"First time he took a bullet during a mission. I brought him back, using this glove we found that revived people for a few minutes, so we could say goodbye. But something went wrong and he came back as a living corpse." The words came out in a rush; even after all these years, Jack still felt guilty about forcing a living death on Owen.
"The second time was final. He was helping Tosh save all those people and he got trapped in a nuclear power plant and was stuck in the room where all the radiation was going to vent." Daisy replaced the picture of Toshiko on the mantle and turned her attention to her dad. Jack looked as if he was about to break down at any minute.
Daisy watched Jack as she reached for the last two pictures; she wasn't sure which one to ask about next; Jack was really upset after talking about the first two. He was sitting in the chair next to the mantle, and he looked so small, so sad, so alone. In the end she chose the picture of a woman and a small child.
"My daughter Alice and my grandson Steven." Now tears streaked down Jack's face. Daisy put the picture back and went and knelt at Jack's feet.
"Dad it isn't important that you tell me," she said taking his hands in hers.
Jack shook his head stubbornly. "It is important that you know these people. It'll explain why I don't want you working for Torchwood." He kissed her forehead.
"Dad, I get it. Torchwood workers have a short life. You don't want anything to happen to me."
Jack shook his head. "It's more than that, Daisy. Torchwood is dangerous. Period. Alice used to tell me that I was dangerous and I think she was right. Years of working for Torchwood have made me dangerous. In some small way, I've tried to make up for it with you, but I know that it will never be enough."
"Just 'cause Alice died for Torchwood doesn't mean I will." She said with all the immortal certainty of youth. She grabbed up her plate of food and started eating again.
"Alice is still alive," Jack told her, as he took another sip of his brandy.
Daisy choked on her bite of food. She looked at the picture again and studied it, trying to remember if she had ever met Alice.
"Steven died and it was all my fault. I had no choice! I killed him."
Daisy dropped her plate on the floor. Jack was sobbing harder than Daisy had ever seen, and her mouth just hung open in disbelief. This couldn't be true! The Jack she knew could never kill anyone, let alone someone he loved.
It took several minutes before Jack was able to bring himself under control, although as he spoke his voice was still thick with unshed tears. "An alien race called the 456 came to Earth. They demanded we give them ten percent of the world's children. They used them as drugs. I used Steven to transmit a signal back to the aliens. It killed them but it killed Steven as well."
"It's not your fault, dad! You were trying to save the children. It's not like you knew it would kill him." Daisy said, returning to her earlier position sitting at Jack's feet and holding his hands.
"You don't understand, Daisy. I did know." Jack looked at his daughter, his eyes filled with decades of pain, guilt and shame. "I knew it would kill him, and I did it any way. We were running out of time and Steven was the only child around." He tried to pull his hands from Daisy's, but she only tightened her grip. Something in her told her to not let him go.
"Some times I wonder if I really did it to save the children or if I wanted revenge on the aliens for taking the most important thing I had away from me." Jack spoke softly, almost as if he were thinking aloud.
Daisy refused to believe what Jack had just told her. She looked up at the mantle as tears began to run down Jack's cheeks again. She looked intently at the photo of Alice and Steven, her eyes drawn to the little boy's smiling face, and to the look of love on Alice's. No matter how Jack felt or what he believed was true, she knew that Steven had died a hero, that he had died to save millions of children all over the world, children who would never even know his name.
They were interrupted by a knock at the door, and Daisy got up to answer it. Jack hastily wiped his face and stood with his back to the room, looking at the pictures. There were so many people he loved, all of them gone now. He had nothing left of any of them except memories and photographs. A few moments later, Daisy re-entered the room with Gwen a step behind her. She had been quickly briefed by Daisy, and she went instantly to Jack's side.
"Jack, are you okay?" Gwen asked when he glanced at her and she saw the state he was in.
He just turned his head back towards the mantle. "Oh Jack, it's not your fault." Her words seemed to open the floodgates, and Jack started sobbing again. Gwen turned to Daisy; she was at a loss.
"He was fine until we got to these two," Daisy told her, pointing to the picture of Steven and then to the last picture.
"I can't do this right now," Jack cried out in anguish as he suddenly bolted from the room.
Gwen took the two pictures off the mantle and sat down on the couch with Daisy. The young girl pointed to the first picture. "Jack just told me how Steven died to save millions of children and that he blames himself."
Gwen nodded. "He told you the truth, Daisy, not about it being his fault, but about Steven being a hero." She set the picture down beside her and then held the last picture in her hands. Without warning, Gwen started to cry. "One of the best men I've ever met, this one. Brave, kind, and one of the best friends I've ever had." She traced a trembling finger along the side of his face. "Ianto Jones was his name." Gwen smiled slightly.
"Now, he was a true hero. We wanted to honour his memory, so Rhys and I named our Ianto after him. Your dad didn't take too kindly to that, but he got over it well enough. Things probably would have been way worse for him if he hadn't had you in his life." Gwen put the picture on the coffee table in front of them.
"Why was dad so upset about you naming Ianto after him?" Daisy asked pointing to the picture.
"Your dad didn't tell you?" Gwen asked. She started to wonder if she had said too much. How much did Jack want Daisy knowing about his past?
"It's okay Gwen. I've told her no more secrets. If I know it so should she." Jack said as he re-entered the room. He had stopped crying but his eyes were swollen and blood-shot.
"Ianto loved your father very much." Gwen tried to stifle a giggle; she thought that line sounded come out a bit cheesy.
"And I loved him even more," Jack added softly. "So much more."
"Ianto was killed by the 456, who had come…" Gwen started explaining when she was stopped by Daisy, who indicated that she already knew that part of the story. "Well your father and Ianto went in to stop them, guns blazing. Problem was guns didn't work and in retaliation for attacking them, the 456 locked all the doors in the building and gassed the place, killing everyone inside." Gwen looked as if she would start crying any minute, so Jack continued.
"Again it was my fault. I tried to take it back when I realized what was happening but it was too late." Jack's voice was flat, emotionless. "All I cou… I couldn't do anything to stop it. I held Ianto as he lay there dying. He told me that he loved me and instead of telling him I felt the same way I told him 'don't'. I never actually told him I loved him."
"Why not, dad?" Daisy asked. "Why didn't you want to tell him you loved him?"
Jack couldn't meet his daughter's eyes. "I figured it would be so much harder when he died if i did but i was wrong, Daisy, it was way worse to have not said it at all." he whispered.
Daisy looked over at her father. "I'm so sorry, dad; it must have been so hard."
Gwen cracked a tiny laugh. "Hard is an understatement! Your dad didn't handle it at all. He spent six months running around the world trying to get away from what happened, but that wasn't far enough for him. Oh, no!" Gwen tried hard not to sound bitter; it had been a long time ago, and she had forgiven him a long time ago. "One night he called me up and had me met him out in the middle of the bloody Welsh countryside. He said goodbye and that he had decided to spend the rest of his life running through the universe." Gwen wrapped her arms around Daisy and hugged her tightly. "Luckily for us after about four years he came home."
Jack walked over and took the picture from Gwen. He stared at the photo of his beloved Ianto for a little while before setting it back on the mantle. "I've loved a lot of people in my time but never anyone as much as Ianto. He was the love of my life and I never told him."