Finding Home

by NicNyx

Bella's life was perfect. She had a great house, a steady income a fiance... but things aren't always as they seem. A brash decision and a move that takes her to the other side of the world see's Bella forced to find herself in a whole new country: New Zealand. AU/OOC Kiwiward/Kiwiella

3. Chapter 3

For those of you who wished me a happy birthday, Thanks! I had a great time with new friends. That being said, it was also the first birthday ever I haven't spent with my twin sister, so it was also a little bit lonely too.

Anyway, this is a beast of a chapter, so I hope you enjoy it.

EdwardsFirstKiss lent me her red pen skills and helped make this better.

Also, shout out to Frannie Walsh over at Twilight Fanfiction Pays it Forward.

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I'd been in New Zealand for three weeks, and although at first, it had taken me a while to acclimate, I loved it now. I still hadn't managed to find work, but surely it was only a matter of time right?

I spent a lot of time with the Cullen's; too much I guess some people would say, but not me.

I think they were just what I needed. They helped ground me, and were there to support me when I needed it, not that I would have admitted it.

I'd been struggling a few times when Charlie would call. He'd pull out all the stops to try to get me to come home. He'd even forced Jacob to call me. I didn't know why. There was no coming back from his cheating, but even before that we weren't coming back from the massive fissure in our relationship.

I didn't lock my room much, not when I was home and definitely not when the Cullen's were milling about. They often just stopped in for a cup of tea even though there was a fully stocked kitchen downstairs.

I'd gotten to know their friends too. Like Peter and Charlotte from Kiwi Kai, they were awesome. They were so relaxed and seemed to favor the Cullen's too.

Looking at the clock, I quickly filled up the kettle, and turned it on. It was nearing eleven, so I had a feeling someone was planning on having a smoko break of some kind, and I wanted to at least have hot water ready for tea.

I quickly turned on the radio, finding the station Edward had been telling me about earlier in the week. Flava seemed to play a mix of billboard hits as well as the New Zealand top forty. The hosts were something else too, and although majority of jokes went over my head, it was helping me get used to the pop culture here.

"How's it'?" I heard just as the kettle stopped boiling.

"Hey." I smiled, turning towards Edward watching as he kicked his shoes off.

"I come bearing gifts, B, and you're going to love them." Immediately intrigued, I crossed the room trying to grab the bags from Edward's hands, but he kept pulling them away.

"Gimme!" I whined, trying in vain to grab the bags. Edward just laughed, making me squeal when he launched himself at me, managing to throw me over his shoulder.

I tried kicking my legs in the hopes that he'd let me down. Realistically, it probably wasn't the best idea when trying to avoid being dropped.

"I grew up with Alice, you're not getting out of this." I couldn't' help but groan, which quickly became a scream as Edward tossed me onto my bed, before quickly turning tail and running out of the room, I heard the door slam behind me followed by his laughter.

"Dick." I grumbled, rolling over the covers and onto my feet. I quickly righted the covers, smiling as I remembered the shopping trip in which Alice had tricked me into to purchasing them. The set wasn't overly fancy, the duvet was plain black, and reversible, it was the blanket that I really loved. It was black, with maybe a seven inch border that was a Maori design. I don't think the design itself meant anything in particular, but I still loved it.

If I was going to live in New Zealand, I wanted to immerse myself in the culture, or at least learn more about it. I wanted to know what the Cullen's tattoos meant, and why they held the meaning that they did. I hoped that would be something that they'd share with me.

I fluffed my pillows once more for good measure before opening my bedroom door. Crossing the living room, I saw that Edward was in the kitchen stirring tea. As soon as he'd placed the tea spoon in the sink, I punched him.
I rolled my eyes as he dramatically hugged his arm to himself, giving me the most pathetic pout. "Really?"

"You could have done some real damage, B." He said seriously, and I couldn't help but laugh at him.

"I'm sure you'll recover just fine. I can call Carlisle, if you'd like. I'll be sure to tell him a hundred and ten pound girl bested you."

I watched as Edward seemed to be thinking about something instead of offering his own witty retort.
"Seriously, Edward, don't hurt yourself."

"Shit, sorry. I was trying to figure out how many kilos that was, but I couldn't remember the conversion. I thought it was one point seven, but there's no way you're seventy kilos."

I couldn't help but shake my head at him. "Seriously? All you got out of that was my weight." He just shrugged.

"Well, don't worry about it, besides, if you guys keep feeding me the way you are I know I won't stay at one ten, and I'd be okay with that." I shrugged. "Moving on, what'd you buy?"

I'd never been one for having things bought for me, but right now, I was seriously intrigued. When the Cullen's bought me things, it was mostly of the edible variety and mouthwatering.

They almost always came prepared with biscuits, or cakes, or something from Peter and Charlotte's. It was always something 'kiwi' too. When Esme brought over freshly baked Rewana bread, I'd died and gone to heaven. It was a massive scone, almost, except it didn't have yeast.

"I don't know if you deserve them now." Edward said rather smug, and I just looked at him, failing to keep the incredulity out of my expression. I'd yet to pull off a pout like Alice's.

"You're lucky I'm nice." Edward said with a smile, opening the microwave and pulling out a container. It was a desert of some kind, and I could smell hints of something sweet.

"What is it?" I asked, unable to keep the excitement from my voice.

"Steam pudding, Char's recipe, I promise it'll blow your mind."

When Edward slid a bowl in front of me, I was surprised to see a cake of sorts. It smelled great, so I wasn't hesitant in the least trying it for myself. But just as I was about to pick up my spoon, Edward was grabbing my hand. I was once again reminded of how much bigger he was than me Edward's hand entirely covered mine.

"Wait, B." He whispered lowly into my ear. He let my hand go and I turned to see him opening a carton of easy pour custard. He poured a generous heap onto the pudding before giving me a smile a dollop more.

"I hope you like a bit of pudding with your custard." He joked, before pouring custard onto his own pudding. I thought he was going to sit down but instead, he grabbed the two mugs he'd left next to the kettle. He placed mine next to my plate and sat down sipping on his.

"Can I eat now, or is there some more ceremony before hand?" I asked in jest.

"Now that you mention it, we really should do Karakia." He said seriously before clasping his hands on the table and bowing his head. I was just about to follow suit when he started laughing at me.

"You're too easy, B. It's sweet. Eat up." I wanted to let him know how much of a dick he was being, but chose instead to eat.

Emmett was the most prone to pulling my leg, but Edward got cheeky now and then. I could never stay too mad at him though. He would get such an adorable prideful look on his face that similar to the kind of expression you'd see on a small child after their parents stuck their art project up on the fridge.

When I stuck my spoon through the cake, it was thicker than I expected and with Edward's pouring skills, it was impossible not to get a spoonful of custard as well. I wasn't a massive custard fan, but I followed Edward's example and quickly put the spoon in my mouth.

I couldn't help but moan as it was amazing. Not what I expected, but it tasted great. It was slightly buttery, definitely sugary and also tasted a bit like vanilla. Even though I didn't like custard much, it certainly seemed to add to the dessert.

"Oh my god, what's in this? It's so good!" I said excitedly, taking another spoonful and all but inhaling it.
"I told you, it's steamed pudding." I looked at him expectantly as I tried to savor the flavor. "Okay, I only know because I Googled a recipe once for Alice. She wanted to try to make one. Its burned sugar, bu—"

"Burned sugar? How do you burn sugar and still cook with it?" I asked confused, laying my spoon down next to my plate.

Edward shrugged his shoulders. "Do you wanna know the rest?" I nodded my head, and he continued. "So there's also butter, vanilla essence, flour, golden syrup, I think mixed spice as well, water, sugar, then its all mixed together and steamed, as the name implies."

I nodded my head, wondering if there was a way I could try to make one of my own, but I wasn't sure I'd be able to get it right. Just as I was going to ask Edward if he knew how long it needed to cook, I heard a phone ring. It wasn't my ring tone, so I looked at Edward who was fishing around in his pocket.

"Yo." He answered after checking the caller.

"Yeah, of course I remember." He responded, quickly with a smile.

"What do you mean?" I didn't want to pry, but there was something in his tone that I couldn't turn away from.

"No." I watched on, as Edward's whole face had made a 180 degree turn. It was as if a switch had had been flipped and anything resembling the happy guy I'd known Edward to be had vanished. He'd withdrawn completely, and I could see him slipping away the longer he spoke on the phone. There was such desperation and sorrow evident in his features I wanted to take the phone away and tell whoever was on the other line to disappear.

"Fuck." He said with a sniffle. "Yeah, we'll be there. I can't—fuck. Tell them I'm sorry. Nah, don't worry. I'll tell them. Expect us to be there. Do we need to bring anything? Blankets—Jerseys—games for the kids—you sure? "I could hear him choking up, and it became worse when he finally put the phone down.

I watched him look at it, then at his hands, and then back at the phone before he dropped his face in hands. I didn't know what to do when I heard him let out a sob, his whole shoulders shaking with the effort.

Unable to sit idle, I quickly pushed away from the table and kneeled at Edward's side. It was a struggle, but after some effort I was able to pull Edward's hands from his face.

"Talk to me?" I asked, watching as tears trailed down his face.

"He's gone." He whispered, sounding completely lost. "He's dead. Gone."

I wanted to ask who, I really did, but my knees were aching and it was a bit difficult to comfort Edward the way I wanted to from the floor. I quickly rose to me feet, pulling Edward up with me and taking him to my room. If I did this with anyone else back home, they'd get the wrong idea, but something told me that Edward wouldn't.
I pulled him onto the bed behind me, and he just sat there. His shoulders shaking with sobs. I slid up to the pillows and grabbed Edward's hand, pulling him toward me. I held him around the shoulders, completely surprised by how pliable he was. He fell into me gripping my shirt and holding on for dear life as he continued to cry. I held onto him as tightly as I could, wanting the jovial guy I'd come to know and love to return.

I didn't know who'd passed away, and I didn't think Edward would be telling me anytime soon, so I just held him. I could feel the time getting away from us and I wasn't sure if he needed to be somewhere, or if I should try calling one of the Cullen's.

I looked at my clock and was shocked to see that it was nearing two o'clock. With every minute passing, I could feel my heart breaking a little more. I didn't even know who'd died, and my heart was aching.

I felt the same kind of heartache I'd felt as a child watching my father mourn his father. The earth shattering emotional recoil when you watch the strongest person you know succumb to an enemy you couldn't see, but were left bearing witness to the aftermath. Grief.

It was the vicious kind of enemy that left only sadness and pain. The pain of a mother, a father, a sister, a brother. It was inescapable and even if you'd been at odds with the person before their death, death in and of itself was the biggest awakening in existence. Because in death, we realize the power of our own idiocy, the length at which we'd been too stupid or stubborn to build a bridge and get over our grievances.

I prayed that wasn't the reason my beautiful friend was breaking, because that's a scarring kind of pain that you can never truly overcome.

Whatever the reason was though, I was going to be strong for him. He'd been an amazing friend to me, they all had, and for once I was going to return the favor.

Solid in my resolve, I looked down at Edward to see his grip on my shirt had lessened. Looking at his face, I could see why. He'd drifted off to sleep, though judging by the scowl on his face it was far from restful.
I wanted to try to find a way out from Edward's grip, but every time I tried to move away, his hold would tighten again.

"Baby B!" I heard called from the front door, and though I wanted to say something I wasn't sure if I'd wake Edward.

"Bella?" I heard Alice say, after Jasper. I couldn't help but pout when I heard Jasper's happiness at finding the steam pudding that Edward and I hadn't finished. "Leave it alone Jasper."

I could hear him grumble, but Alice was still walking around my apartment. "Just sit down." Alice demanded. "I'll check her room."

Alice knocked quietly before peeking her head around the door. "Bella?" She asked hesitantly, eyeing the grip Edward had on my shirt. "What's going on?"

I shook my head, because I only really had an idea, but the entire story was lost to me. Unable to move my hands from where they were hugged between Edward and me, I gestured with my head for Alice to join us. She didn't hesitate to jump on the bed and knee crawl her way over to us. I was on the edge of the bed, while Edward ended up in the middle, so Alice was able to crawl up next to her brother and hug him.

It was nice seeing the tender side between the two siblings. I'd grown so accustomed to the two of them being playful and taunting each other, so seeing this softness was new to me.

"Edward?" She said kindly, nudging his shoulder. "Wake up." She nudged him again, only to hear him let out a strangled "Uncle".

I could see when Alice was fed up with the gentle approach when she started shaking Edward's shoulder more aggressively. "Edward!"

His grip on my shirt managed to tighten as his eyes shot open. Dazed and more than a little disoriented, his eyes were shooting around the room like a wild animal. I was a little terrified when his eyes zeroed in on me.
"Edward?" I tried to say evenly, though I really had no idea what was going on in his head.

"Bella?" Alice asked over Edward, drawing attention to her as Edward's eyes finally left mine to focus on his sister.

"Ali." He sobbed. "He—he's gone."

The contrast between the Edward I'd come to know and this fragile person clinging to my shirt, was like a knife to the heart. Edward, the whole Cullen family really, were probably the strongest people I'd ever met. I'd never met or known people more determined and steadfast in my life. Individually they stood strong and proud, with personalities that seemed larger than life, but as a unit, I don't think Heaven or Hell could move them. They were untouchable, in this kind of place of their own divining.

"Bella." Alice said quietly, over Edward. I turned to look at her, not surprised in the least to see how quickly Edward's despondency was affecting Alice. Even the intonation in her voice seemed to have changed in the way she said my name. "Do you know who called?"

"No, I don't. Sorry. He's been like this since he answered the phone." She waved her hand.
"Do you know where his phone is?" I shook my head again as I started running my fingers through Edward's hair. I didn't know what else to do. I hadn't been around death before, or even grief, not like this. My father buried his emotions so deep within himself I don't even think he'd know how to find them with a map and a compass. He'd cried when his father died, but only at the funeral.

Alice shuffled out of the room, asking Jasper to look for Edward's phone. I couldn't hear much of their conversation once they'd left the room.

"Bella?" Edward asked in a broken whisper. I looked down at him, his eyes red rimmed and more vibrant than I'd ever seen. "Stay with me?"

"Always." I promised, hoping my eyes showed my sincerity. For Edward, for any of the Cullen's I would do whatever I could to be the rock for them that they'd, probably unknowingly, become to me.

A muscle in my neck was starting to hate me, and seeing as there was a chance I'd be here a while, I shuffled down the bed so that both Edward's and my head were at the same level on the pillows.

We just looked at each other and even tear stained I couldn't help but notice how beautiful Edward was. From his sun kissed complexion to his wild auburn hair and jade eyes, I'd never met a more stunning man in my life.
"You're beautiful." I was shocked to hear whispered to me. I could see the sincerity in Edward's face as he said the words, and try as I might, I knew there was no way I could deny his words. Disagree as much as I may, I couldn't deny his earnestness.

"So are you." I whispered back with a smile that grew as I watched Edward scrunch his nose in response.
Pushing my limits slightly, I was about to ask him to talk to me, but I swallowed the words when Edward's slightly calloused hands gently stroked my cheeks. "I always thought the right time would come, and I'd find the words to say to you."

"You can talk to me Edward, you should know that." I replied, a bit confused by Edward's serious about face.

He shook his head at me. "I knew you wouldn't get it. That's why I never brought it up. I can't offer you anything. I mean, you're so much bigger than I am. You've seen things I probably wouldn't even understand, and you're you. You're so brave, and beautiful, and strong. You just fit here, with us, with me. I don't want to lose you."

Now that I had a bit more room to move, I cradled Edward's cheek in my palm. "You won't lose me. This is my home now. I thought you knew that?"

I hadn't even noticed the distance between us getting closer, I was more focused on his words. Where would I go? This is my home? The Cullen's they are my family.

"You're my family Edward. You all are. Without you—I don't know where I would have ended up, and I don't even want to think about it." Edward's fingers started gently brushing against my cheek again.

"I'm sure you would have found your way, Bella." I screwed my face up at that comment because I seriously doubted that.

Edward mustn't have liked the expression on my face as he flicked my nose, making my face screw up. A beautiful laugh slipped from Edward's lips, making me smile. His laughter died too soon after it began and I watched how quickly darkness clouded his features again.

When more than a beat passed in silence, I could feel Edward shutting down again.

"Will you tell me about him?" I asked my voice tiny. A small part of me was wondering where Alice and the others were, or what they were doing, but I needed to be here with Edward.

Silence hung heavy between us, but it was a weary silence, it was a heavy silence.

"He was my godfather. Uncle Paora. He was always as much of a father to me as Dad." He said with a smile. "I used to stay with him a lot when I was growing up. He had a farm up north, and I even spent a whole semester with him once. It killed Mum and Alice, but it was good for me. He taught me so much. While I stayed with him, he taught me so much responsibility, and how to look after the land. I rode horses, tractors, dirt bikes, quads—everything. I just had to ask, and he would teach me."

I smiled and listened intently asking for more information as Edward started sharing stories about growing up with his Uncle Paora. I couldn't help but gasp when he told me about the time he'd been thrown off a horse that had been spooked by a dog, running in his periphery. He'd received the worst black eye of his life, and another quarter of an inch away, he could have broken his cheek bone, or eye socket.

I couldn't help but laugh when he told me about the time his Uncle Paora let a young Edward and Emmett into the sheep paddock. He told me how he was so determined to catch one of the sheep, even running in his gumboots, and didn't see the ditch until he was sailing through the air. Unfortunately for poor Edward, the sheep saw it as time to take revenge and tried to chase him. Uncle Paora had to let Kuri and Boss into the field to round the sheep up before they could get to him.

It was beautiful to watch the animation return to his face as he told the stories of his past. It helped me see a whole other side of him; a young and naïve side that could still look at the world with hope. I was certain that even with a black eye, Edward was probably still good looking. More so even, he'd have looked like a bad boy.

I don't really know how long I'd been listening to Edward tell stories, when my bedroom door opened again and in walked the rest of the Cullen family. Their faces all varying shades of sorrow, especially Carlisle's. Uncle Paora had been Carlisle's Uncle first, even though there was only about ten years between them.

I didn't even hesitate as I patted the bed and invited them all on with us. Probably not the best idea. As large as a king-sized bed is, it wasn't designed for seven grown adults, and Alice.

It took a lot of manoeuvring, and limbs in places where someone else's limb should not be, but we found space for everyone and able to find some comfort.

The evening passed as everyone started sharing stories about Uncle Paora. All memories happy, and fond. No one seemed to notice when afternoon became evening, and evening became night. They were more focused on sharing their memories and as the stars filled the sky, their words filtered through my ears in muted tones until I drifted to sleep. Buried in Edwards arms, with Alice acting as the big spoon I drifted off.

A heavy weight pressing against my waist woke me up. Blurry eyed, I battled sleep for a few seconds before I was able to take in my surroundings. The weight pressing steadily against my bladder was Edward.

He'd all but wrapped himself around me and was clinging on for dear life. I remembered his words from earlier, about him not wanting to lose me. Seeing the way he clung to me, even in sleep, drove them home a little more.
I couldn't understand why a man with such a loving family could be so terrified of losing me, when he had them. I only had Charlie and Renee, I guess, but mainly Charlie. Edward had siblings, doting parents, and in-laws like Rose and Jasper. Friends like Peter and Charlotte and probably tons more extended family members like Uncle Paora.

As much as I didn't want to disturb him, I needed to pee. It wasn't easy, and a sleeping Edward was a dead weight, but after some panicky shoving I was free to use the bathroom.

I unfortunately wasn't quiet in my efforts to sneak out of the room, but other than a muttered 'Ataahua' he didn't wake. I hoped I'd remember that word later, so I could ask him what it meant.

I had only been gone for a couple of minutes, but when I returned Edward's face looked terribly disturbed. The light from my clock did little to disguise the scowl on his face, or the way he seemed to be mouthing something.
I quickly climbed back under the covers and wrestled my way to close the distance between us as I pulled his arms back around me and burrowing myself into his chest.

The change in him happened almost immediately. His scowl lifted, his muscles seemed more relaxed, and he had a much more serene look on his face.

"Aroha…Ataahua." Edward breathed quietly, before pulling my body tightly into his.

The rise and fall of his chest as well as the warmth of his breath against my cheek was incredibly soothing. More so than I ever imagined such a thing would be and very quickly, I found myself drifting back to sleep.

When I woke the following morning, Edward was still wrapped around me, though this time we were spooning. I could feel his breathing was labored, so I figured he was still fast asleep.

I had to crane my neck to see the time. I was stunned when I noticed it was only five in the morning.

We'd drifted off to sleep, rather early, and even though I'd woken up at some point in the night, I was shocked to find myself wide awake. I didn't know how much longer Edward would be asleep for, but I figured he needed it. I quickly shuffled away from him, finding the task a lot easier with all of my faculties about me.

When I noticed Edward automatically reaching for something once I'd freed myself, I quickly handed him my pillow. He pulled it tightly into his chest and hugged it.

"You're such a beautiful Man." I whispered, watching the serenity in his sleeping features.

I left my room quietly, pulling the door shut behind me. I needed to call one of the Cullen's to see what was happening. They had shared information about funerals here, and I knew time was important.

I grabbed my phone from the desk where it'd been charging. I couldn't recall if I'd put it there myself, or if one of the Cullen's had done it. Either way, I was grateful.

I unlocked my phone, but then I was unsure whom to call. I scanned my favorites. Naturally, Alice's named popped up first, but for whatever reason I skipped it and went straight to Esme.

The phone only rang twice before she picked up.

"Bella?" she answered kindly.

"Hey, Esme. I didn't wake you, did I?" I asked, forgetting that she may still be asleep.

"Not at all. I just got off the phone with Emily, Uncle's daughter. They're heading up to Panguru, and foregoing the church service until they move to bury him. Emily and Rachel decided that the only people he'd want to be at his Tangi, would be the ones willing to make the trip." Esme kept chatting, filling me in on the events of everything. I followed to the best of my ability, but I didn't know where these places were.

"How's Edward?"

I wasn't entirely sure what she wanted to hear.

"He's sleeping?" I nodded. She couldn't see me.

"I wanted to thank you for last night, Bella." Esme said in earnest. "My boy's so strong, and stubborn he doesn't always let people see him that vulnerable. Even when Papa passed away, he wasn't that bad. You were there for my boy, Baby and I will always love you for that. Please, I don't know if Edward will ask you, but I will, please come with us? I know you might feel a little out of place, but I promise we'll do everything we can to make sure you feel welcome. You're Edward's best friend, Baby."

I was fighting tears as Esme all but pleaded for me to join them.

"You don't even need to ask Esme. Of course I'll be there." Before I could say anything else, I heard the creak of my bedroom door. I watched Edward nervously peek his head out, and I couldn't help but give him a small smile.
"Edward's up, we'll see you later." I said, before Esme said bye. They'd all be around within the hour so we could head to the church service.

I locked my phone before putting it back on my desk and crossing the distance to where Edward stood. I grabbed his hand between both of mine and looked up into his eyes.

"How're you feeling?" I asked. Once again, in a move I was almost becoming familiar with, Edward held his free hand against my cheek, running his thumb gently across my cheek.

"Thank you." His voice was raspy with sleep, but heavy with meaning.

'Anytime.' I'd been about to tell him, but before I had the chance, he pulled me into the tightest hug I'd ever had in my life.

"You didn't have to let me stay last night, or talk to me, or listen to me. You could have told me to go home, or to get over myself, but you didn't. You stayed, Bella. You stayed."

The idea of losing people clearly resonated strongly within Edward. For whatever reason he was absolutely terrified by loss.

I just stood in Edward's arms, letting him hug me for as long as he needed to. I don't really know why. But seeing Edward vulnerable like I had last night, made me want to wrap him up in cotton wool and protect him from everything. I'd have gone toe to toe with the grim reaper if I had needed to, especially if it meant I wouldn't have to see that look on Edward's face again.

How do parents do it? How do they let their kids go out in the world? I was terrified of harm coming to a grown man!

Edward held me for several minutes before pulling back and giving me some room to breathe again.
"So, his obituary was in the paper this morning. Esme said it wasn't flashy, but it was right for him." I offered and Edward nodded his head. "They've planned the Powhiri for around 10 AM tomorrow, I think. Aunty Rebecca and Emily have already sorted the food and everything."

I was shocked to see Edward smiling at me. "What?" I asked, confused.

"Even with your accent you sound like you belong here, B. I like that."

"I told you." I said, grabbing his hand again. "This is my home now."

I was shocked when Edward pulled me against his chest again and just held me. I'd never seen a man so clingy before. It went entirely against the grain, but all the same, I appreciated it.

Edward was a big guy, all lean and ropey muscles, tanned skin and tattoos—though I had yet to see them. It was surreal to feel needed by someone like him, to feel like a life preserver.

I didn't really receive affection in the form of hugs and 'I Love you's' growing up. I didn't regret that. It wasn't my childhood; my father is the definition of taciturn. He was protective, but he was about as comfortable with hugs as I'd be in an MMA cage match.

"Everyone will probably be here soon." I told Edward, and I could feel him nodding his head in acquiescence.
"Five more minutes?" I heard Edward ask, and I couldn't say no. I did however ask him if we could move to the sofa.

Edward sat down quickly, and before I could sit down next to him, he was pulling me onto his lap and hugging me to his chest. He was so adorably clingy.

In the space of five minutes I found myself drifting off to sleep again, and it was really difficult to fight the lull; especially when Edward started playing with the ends of my hair.

I must've nodded off in the end, because hushed voices woke me. The Cullen's had arrived and were clearly having a conversation between themselves. They seemed unsure about waking us. I couldn't blame them, given Edward's evening.

"Hey." I said, trying to sit up, only to find myself being anchored down by Edward's hold on me. At some point we'd shifted, and we were both lying on the sofa, my back to his front as he held me.

"Morning, Baby." Esme said kindly. "I take it you weren't quite ready to wake up when you called me earlier."
I shook my head sheepishly. I suppose I hadn't been. Then again, I never was a morning person.

Esme watched me struggling to sit up and laughed quietly. Emmett didn't have the same kind of composure. Edward startled quickly, yet he managed to pull me tighter to him as he sat up. Shocking me, so much had his grip not been on me, I'd have fallen straight off of the sofa.

"What? Where? Bella!" The amount of panic in his voice was like a knife piercing my core.

I quickly turned in his arms, so I was looking at him. I was awkwardly balanced half on, and half off the sofa, but Edward was freaking out and half asleep too.

I prayed he'd find some peace in his Uncle's passing at the Tangi, because this frightened man, was slowly tearing me a part. Yet, somehow, Esme trusted me enough to ensure her son was okay through this difficult time.

I cradled his face in my hands, trying to shush him, settle him down—anything.

"Edward, Edward. I'm here. We're here. Calm down." I rushed out, holding his face, so he was looking me in the eye.

"Bella?" He said with more awareness now.

"Feel better after your nap?" I asked choosing to ignore his freak out.

Everyone else seemed to want to do the same. Though I could see Carlisle was worried by the frown on his face.
"We'll need to leave soon, Son." Carlisle said. Although his eyes were still intently focused on Edward.

"I know." Edward said, checking the time on his watch.

Edward gave me some space as he stood up. Letting my hand go at the last moment, but not before giving it one last squeeze.

"I'm gonna go shower in one of the g—,"

"Don't be stupid. Use my bathroom." I said, making Edward smile.

"Yes boss." He answered, and Alice quickly handed him one of the bags from at her feet.

"Everything's in there." I wasn't surprised to see Edward kiss Alice's cheek as he passed her and then squeezed Esme to him before heading towards the bathroom.

I could feel everyone's eyes turn to me, as soon as the door was shut behind him.

"Thanks for everything last night, Bella. I knew when this happened, his reaction would be bad but as a Mum, seeing him fall apart like that yesterday was heartbreaking. You kept it together for him, Baby. I know it's probably because you didn't know Uncle, but all the same, thank you."

"Don't thank me." I said quickly. "He's my best friend here. He'd do the same for me."

"I hope you understand Bella, you're probably going to experience an entirely new side of grief this weekend. I just hope you realize that."

"It doesn't matter. You've all been here for me, and I finally have a chance to be there for you, and that's what I plan to do." I answered.

"You're practically an honorary Cullen now, Baby B." Emmett guffawed.

Alice nodded her head too. "You should have a shower when Edward's done. The sooner we get on the road, the easier the drive will be."

"All good." I answered. "Hey would you be able to help me pack?" I was asking Alice, but Esme and Rose agreed to help too. The boys seemed content enough where they were, and Jasper was eyeing my fridge.

"Go hard, Bro. I'm not sure if what's in there will keep, so go for it." Jasper fist pumped and was joined by Emmett as they started riffling through my fridge.

Ten minutes later, the girls had helped me pack my bag, and I was waiting in the living room with everyone for Edward to finish.

It was half an hour later that we were all heading down the stairs getting ready to leave. Between the eight of us, there wasn't a car big enough to fit us all, so they'd decided to take two cars.

Carlisle was driving one SUV—his—and Emmett was driving the other—his own. It was decided that Edward and I would ride with Esme and Carlisle while Alice and Jasper would ride with Em and Rose.

Esme rode shotgun with Carlisle while Edward and I sat in the back. It was going to be about a four and a half hour drive, with a ferry ride in between. But Carlisle planned on stopping on the way so we could get something to eat and drink, and take bathroom breaks of course.

Edward held my hand during the ride, playing with my fingers every so often. He was listening to music on his phone too and didn't really seem to be paying attention to anything. My eyes were either trained outside, looking at the surroundings or drifting between the rear view mirror and Edward.

He had noise cancelling ear buds in, so talking to Edward was a waste of time, and on top of that I didn't know what he was listening to. I didn't know if it was considered nosey or just being curious, but I wanted to know.
Wanting to leave Esme and Carlisle to themselves, I grabbed my phone from my pocket. I hadn't noticed earlier, but I had a few missed messages from Charlie, one from Renee…and one from Jake?

I read through the ones from Charlie first. He was mainly checking in on me and wanted to know how I was doing. I replied back, letting him know I was great. I fibbed a little, but I ensured him that I might be going out of service for the weekend. He didn't reply, but he may have been busy, or asleep.

Renee's message was normal. She's fine, Phil's spoiling her, and her travels are treating her well. Her life feels fulfilled. She didn't ask about me though that was normal. So I sent my stock standard answer back.

'Awesome. I'm happy for you. Make wise choices.'

Jake's message was weird, and completely unexpected. He wanted me back. He was sorry for being stupid. He missed me. It was a crock of shit, and the timing couldn't have been worse, but all the same, my answer hadn't changed.

We were done.

Edward must have seen the scowl on my face because he squeezed my hand, getting my attention.

"What's up?"

I shrugged my shoulders and then showed him my phone.

It took him a moment to realize what he was reading, but as anger darkened his features, I knew he'd realized what he was reading.

"You haven't replied." I shook my head.

"You're thinking about it?" He asked in a small voice.

"Don't be stupid." I said quickly. "I told you the day I met you, he and I were long finished. Besides, I'm happy here. Happier than I actually thought I'd find myself, and I have you and your family. This is my home. You're my Whanau."

Edward seemed to be holding something in, and I was worried he was upset with me until he busted out laughing.

"Just when I think you're getting the language, you say something like 'far-now'." I huffed in response.
"Remember Flash, it's pronounced 'Far-no'." I punched him in the chest, but he just laughed at me again.
I hadn't even realized we'd stopped until Esme and Carlisle were getting out of the car.

Edward and I quickly followed them, to find we were parked behind Emmett at a small convenience store.
I noticed the girls, standing around chatting next to the car rather than heading into the store, so I walked over to them. Before I could get too far, Edward was grabbing my hand again.

"Want anything, B?"

"Sure, um, surprise me?" Edward nodded, giving my hand another squeeze, before heading inside the store.

"Hey Bella."

"Hey, B."

Alice and Rose greeted me with small, knowing smiles on their faces.

"What's up with you two?" I asked, moving my eyes between the two of them.

"What do you mean?" They said too quickly.

"You two. You look suspicious."

Alice chuffed. "Yeah, and you and Edward look way too chummy, all holding hands and stuff."

"So? You're looking into this way too much."

"No we're not. Don't forget I've known Edward my entire life. He's different towards you, B. He's vulnerable with you, which is weird, but in a good way. He has no issues being himself with you. I think he's falling for you."

I was going to tell her she was wrong, and then I remembered the desperate way he had clung to me. His words, the earnestness in his eyes. He begged me not to leave. I—I promised I wouldn't. I was here to stay. This was my home now.

"Hey, where'd you go, B?" Rose asked, snapping her fingers in front of my face.

"Hmm, nowhere. Hey, they're back." I said, noticing Edward heading my way again with a plastic bag full of junk food.

"I got a bit of everything, Baby B. I didn't realize how hungry I was until I was in there. You're gonna have to help me eat some of this."

"If you insist." I smiled, as I closed the distance between us. He opened the bag so I could see what was inside. "Where do I start?"

Edward dug into the bag and pulled out a couple of wax coated paper bags. "Classic road trip food! Steak and cheese pies!"

"A savory pie? I don't think I've had a savory pie before." I mused, pulling the pie from its bag. The pastry was flaky, rather than having a short crust, but it smelled great. I was just about to take a bite when Edward grabbed my hand stopping me.

"Jesus, you're eager." He mused. "You mustn't forget the sauce." He said seriously before smothering my pie with ketchup.

"I thought I was supposed to be eating a pie, not a ketchup covered pastry." I said looking at Edward, eyebrow raised.

"Just eat it."

I rolled my eyes, making Edward laugh at me before biting into the pie. It was good. Great even. I don't quite know how they prepared it—maybe I didn't wanna know—but the steak was tender enough that I wasn't gnawing on rubber, and the cheese was perfect and creamy and whatever gravy was in it was very good. Yeah, the ketchup rounded things off too. Not that I'd tell Edward that.

"It's good." I mumbled, before taking another bite. Edward just smiled at me before taking a bite of his own ketchup smothered pie.

As much as I was enjoying my pie, I ate it quickly. I didn't know how long we were going to be here, and I was too nervous to eat it inside Carlisle's SUV. It had a beige leather interior, and I did not want to stain it with ketchup.

"Were you hungry, Speedy?" Edward asked when I'd finished the last bite of my pie.

I coughed, choking on the last bite. Edward was only half way through his pie, and mine was finished.
"I guess." I coughed again. "Sorry?"

"Only you would apologize for being hungry, Baby B."

"Shut up." I punched him in the chest and looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

He pitifully grabbed his chest, feigning pain. Before throwing his head back in laughter. I couldn't help the smile that appeared on my face. Even after everything he had gone through last night, he still managed to find something to laugh about.

Maybe after the Tangi, he would be okay again.

"We've gotta head off now guys, if we plan on making the ferry." Carlisle alerted us, and within five minutes, everyone was back in their rides and on the road again.

Road trips with Renee, though plentiful, were never this efficient. She'd learn a thing or two from the Cullen's.
When we arrived at the ferry, we were the first car there; having missed the previous ferry by about twenty minutes. We all got out of the cars, and sat around chatting until we noticed more vehicles arriving. Esme had been watching for the ferry's arrival and was quick to usher everyone back into their vehicles.

I wasn't sure we were allowed to leave our vehicles, especially when the ticketers came straight to the driver's side door. As soon as they'd passed us though, and the ferry was moving further away from the dock, Edward was getting out of the car and I was shuffling across the seat, hearing the hiss of leather, as I followed him.
The ocean breeze hit me hard when I stepped out, but I was more excited by the scenery to worry too much about the weather.

Edward moved, to one side of the ferry where he stood leaning against the rail. He had a faraway expression on his face as he just stared out at the water. I couldn't actually figure out what he was looking at.

"It's a pretty sight." I said offhandedly, trying to strike up conversation as I mimicked his position. The cold railing, mixed with the sea spray did not help my attempt to stay warm though.

"Huh." Was Edward's response as snapped his head around to look at me.

"Don't worry."

"No, sorry." Edward said quickly. "Tell me, I'm sorry for being rude."

I shrugged. "It was nothing. I just said that everything looks pretty."

Edward shrugged in response. "I guess."

He was distant again.

"Are you nervous?" He shook his head, and the wind picked up again, making me hug myself to try to ward off the cold.

Edward must've noticed as he closed the distance between the two of us and wrapped his arms around me. I felt warm immediately, and couldn't help but settle into his embrace.

"Nervous isn't the right word." He said quietly. "I—I'm sad. Really, really sad. I—it's hitting me again I guess. We're only about a half hour away. When we get there and I see them, it's probably going to break me. It'll be real."

I turned in his arms and hugged him back. "Its not real now?"

Edward shook his head before closing his eyes and sighing. He lowered his face down so that his forehead was resting on mine.

"Knowing someone's dead, and actually knowing it, are two different things." Edward sighed.

"Will seeing his coffin change things?" I asked, knowing that seeing someone's coffin changed things for me. Even if the last funeral I attended was for my goldfish. Seeing that matchbox buried drove everything home for me. I also never got another goldfish.

"Shit, Bella, how do you feel about dead bodies?" Edward's question struck me aback a little as I pulled away to look at his face.

"That's not a normal question." I said quickly. "How is anybody supposed to feel about dead people?"

"No, no." Edward said quickly. "That's not what I meant. It's just that, well, we sleep with the dead, Bella. In the same room I mean."

"You mean—I. Me? Explain?"

For the rest of the ferry trip, Edward explained things. It was a sign of respect, and in an effort to allow everyone to properly grieve and pay their respects to the dead. We wouldn't be sleeping right next to him though, that would be his wife, or daughter. Maybe one of his Aunties even, but we wouldn't. He promised. Unfortunately, I wouldn't be able to get out of kissing him, even though I didn't know him.

"I'll be with you the whole time, Bella. I promise." Edward said.

I laughed quietly, more at the situation than anything else. "I thought I was supposed to be the one comforting you?"

Edward just shrugged and grabbed my hand as we headed back to the car.
What remained of our journey passed by in no time, and I think that it was largely in part to my preoccupation.
How did I feel about the dead? Well, I'd never had to think about it before. I mean, they were dead. Dead is dead.

I was going to be sleeping in the same room as a dead person. He was Edward's family, but he's dead.
Before I could freak myself out anymore, I felt the car slowing down. Looking out the window, we were pulling into a very crowded parking lot. Men, women and children were all standing around waiting. There was a group standing at the front wearing headbands, made from leaves.

Everyone watched our car expectantly as we pulled into one of the empty parking spaces. Emmett had to drive down a little way before he found a space.

When we'd parked, Esme and Carlisle stepped out of the car quickly. I was too nervous to get out of the car just yet. Esme and Carlisle were greeted warmly though I could still see the expectant glances of people as they looked inside the car.

Edward hadn't gotten out of the car yet either.

"Haere mai, whanau. Haere mai." An older woman called, waving her hands to gather everyone around. The chatter stopped quickly as everyone was ushered towards the entrance.

The entrance was impossible to miss. There was a wooden archway, with Maori carvings. They reminded me of the entrance at Auckland airport customs, but at the same time there was something different about them too.
A paved walkway led from the parking lot, to the entrance of the hall which must have been the marae. There was a porch area at the front which led to a pair of open double doors. There were carvings on this building too, big ones, which reminded me of a façade on a building.

There were three other buildings. One was much smaller, and was clearly no longer used. It looked like an old, rundown church. The other smaller building clearly held the bathroom facilities. The last building was the biggest, and I assumed it must have been the dining hall.

"I guess we've stalled long enough." Edward said resignedly.

I nodded my head. He was right. Edward got out of the car first, and rounded it quickly, opening my door to help me down.

He didn't let go of my hand, and in the face of so many strangers, I was already feeling out of place. I hadn't really felt this out of place since I had arrived here.

Emmett and Alice were standing towards the front of the gathering of people which worried me; even more so when I noticed, Rose, Jasper, Esme and Carlisle standing toward the front too.

"Are we supposed to be up there too?" Even I could hear the nervousness in my own voice.

Edward nodded his head and squeezed my hand before making his way towards his family. He apologized as he went, and responded to every 'Hey, Edward', or 'Hows 'it' on the way.

A few people tried to ask about me, but they didn't really get the chance.. Just as we'd made it to the front of the group, an older woman started to call out in Māori. I hadn't even noticed the coffin being carried in.

We were being called on to the land, I guessed, judging by the way everyone was moving forward. I don't know what she was saying, but it was hauntingly beautiful.

We followed behind the body slowly—very slowly, and the closer we got to the Marae the tighter Edward's grip on my hand became. It was bordering on painful, but I didn't want to let go. I grabbed Alice's hand instead for encouragement. She didn't seem to mind.

Edward quickly reminded me to take my shoes off once we'd arrived at the door. He waited for me as I fought to get them off. Once we were inside, I followed Edward and sat down beside him on a mattress on the right-hand side of the room. I didn't know if that was of any significance, but that's where Carlisle and Esme had sat down.
It was fascinating to watch the ceremony take place. Everyone had a moment with Uncle and said their peace. Myself included. It was undoubtedly the closest I had ever been to death, yet at the same time I found myself at peace too.

There was one woman, whom my heart broke for. She was sat right next to the coffin and was wailing while everyone spoke of Uncle Paora. I'd never before heard a more pitiful or heart breaking sound.

It actually brought tears to my eyes. Her pain resonated with me, on such a deep level; I couldn't help but agonize with her.

The whole time, I cried; even when everyone was speaking in Maori. I cried. I didn't know what they were saying, but I was certain most of it were stories of Uncle Paora's life. Even still, I cried.

Edward was silent during the whole thing. He didn't talk, he didn't cry, he just sat beside me, playing with my fingers. The only time he got up, was when Carlisle stood to speak.

He spoke in a mix of English and Maori, and whatever he said made people smile, laugh and cry. When Edward stood, I followed and so did the rest of the family.

Someone had a guitar, and all of a sudden they were strumming and the Cullen's were all singing together. It was beautiful, hearing them sing with such earnest in their voices. I had no idea what the song meant, but I sang it with them too, on the second verse, I noticed for the first time that almost everyone else in the room, including the children, were also singing along.

It was a choir of broken hearts working together to try to mend the break.

A couple more people spoke after the Cullen's, and then we were ushered into the dining hall.
Edward was still oddly stoic, but I supported him to the best of my ability. He clung tightly to me. A part of him was constantly touching me or my clothes. He held onto my belt loops too, using them at times to guide me, or pull me closer to him.

I'd never tell him, but his dependency reminded me of that of a toddle; having some sense of independence, however small, but still latching on whenever the opportunity presented itself. We all sat down around the table. I didn't start dishing up or eating when I noticed no one else had, instead I just people watched.

It was interesting to look around the room full of both close and extended family. Who for the most part, as I'd been told, were all related. They were either Aunties, or Uncles and their partners and children. Though I could see some familial similarities, there were faces that looked out of place, and I remembered hearing, between the yammering of Alice and Emmett, that they were relatives.

I didn't get to ponder too long though, sitting at the table watching the food before an older man called the attention of everyone. I watched as instantly heads were bowed, and I followed suit as he started speaking in Maori. I think it was called Karakia, a prayer, for blessing the food.

When everyone called, 'Amene' I knew it was appropriate for us to eat.

There was a lot of food out around the table; I didn't know where to start. I also didn't want to look rude because I wasn't sure if there was a protocol to follow. Did someone eat first? Did I need to wait for someone to come around and remove the cling film from the food?

It looked like a meat and mixed vegetable spread, but there also seemed to be a chowder too, and some salads.
My inaction must have drawn Edward's attention as he leaned towards me, wrapping his arm around my shoulder. "Are you okay?"

I shook my head slowly, hoping no one else noticed.

"Are you not hungry?" I nodded my head, but I think that confused him.

"Yes, I could eat." I whispered. "I wasn't sure if I was supposed to wait —you know, before dishing up?"

"Have at it, Baby B. Go hard. Stay away from the chowder though, it's terrible." I laughed as he reached for the ladle and poured himself a healthy serving of it.

"I'm sure it is, and you'll be more than willing to consume the burden for the both of us." I said dryly, before helping remove what remained of the cling film on the dishes in front of me.

I wasn't particularly hungry and settled for a couple of slices of roast lamb—which was perfectly pink in the middle—and some salad. Edward offered me a piece of fry bread too, which I didn't care for very much, but I felt rude turning it down. It was also growing on me.

The meal was a loud affair, and very crowded, but in a good way. The sadness for the moment had departed and everyone was happy chatting and catching up. Many people spoke to Edward, so there were a few times where I was mid-chew when someone would strike up a conversation with him. Naturally, Edward introduced me every time. I don't think I've had to apologize so much in any one meal. No one seemed to care though; they just waved off my apologies with a 'No worries', or an 'All good, Bub'.

I don't think I'd ever been called Bub so much in my life, except for maybe when I was a baby. Even then, Charlie had always just called me 'baby girl'.

Our meal took a while, but I was okay with that. I noticed a lot of the older people in attendance had left fairly early after having a cup of tea offered to them by the children. Once they'd left, the few older children—a mixture of nieces and nephews, and cousins of Edward's—got up to help start clearing everything. Edward excused himself, and I quickly followed.

I caught Alice and Emmett clearing off tables, and soon, I was doing the same.. What remained of everyone sitting at the tables dwindled off to nothing, and the formerly crowded dining hall was now full of long tables and bench seats.

Emmett and Rose told the kids who were helping to go outside and play. They'd done their share. It was just Edward, Emmett, Jasper, and I left helping to clear the tables.

We quickly headed into the kitchen with everything and weren't shocked to find Esme and Carlisle, as well as Alice and Rose helping with the dishes. There was also another man and a woman, Carlisle's Uncle and Aunty.
"Whoa." I said quietly. "I don't think I've ever seen so many dishes in my life."

Emmett scoffed, hearing me.

"There will be more on Sunday when everyone is here, but more people should help us then. Wouldn't be so many if our cousins weren't so lazy." I couldn't help but notice the agitation in her voice.

"Bad blood?" This time Rose scoffed.

"They're family, they share the same blood. They're just lazy and think the world owes them something. They're jealous of the Cullen's; they seem to think we have so much because we just happened upon it."

"But they're family. Aren't you guys all like a solid unit?" I asked confused. They'd never spoken ill of their family before. They always talked about all the trips and things they'd done growing up.
"We're a solid unit." Jasper said, gesturing around the room. "All of our extended family who're here with us today, they're all solid too. Carlisle's siblings and their children, well…?" Jasper trailed off, looking at Carlisle's Aunty and Uncle.
"Don't hold back on our account. They're bloody hopeless! That girl is still in nappies and she's two." Aunty Mere said, and I couldn't help but gasp. Uncle Wiremu just threw his head back in laughter.

"You've shocked Edward's missus, Milly, settle down." Uncle Wiremu said. Milly just looked at me and winked. "You kids have done heaps, go and relax. I'll tune your cousins up the next time I see them."

"Are you sure, Uncle?" Emmett asked, though even I could hear how much he was hoping the answer was yes.
"Go on Son, before I decide to piss off and leave you kids here."

We didn't waste time, quickly, leaving the kitchen and heading outside. To be perfectly honest, there wasn't a lot to do. We were out in the 'whops', or so they kept telling me. I guess we were in the middle of was one restaurant that was also the bar and a tiny over-priced convenience store.

"Did you want to do something?" I asked Edward as he hung back from everyone else.

Edward shook his head and pulled me closer to him, just wrapping his arms around me. We were standing in the middle of the footpath, but everyone else was more preoccupied with what they were doing to notice us.

"If I asked you to stay with me while the others went off to do whatever they're planning, would you?"

I looked at him long and hard, and I could see the sincerity in his face and hear the hope in his words.. He wanted me to stay with him for a bit, and even though I'd miss out on whatever shenanigans his siblings planned on getting up to, I'd stay.

Edward squeezed me tightly to him before pulling slightly away, although his arm was still resting across my shoulders and leading me towards the Marae.

When we got to the Marae, I was shocked to see the rest of the Cullen kids spreading out the covers on their mattresses. Edward and I followed suit, spreading out the blankets on the mattresses at the end. Edward left me, the empty mattress between his and Alice's, for which I was grateful.

"I thought you guys were gonna go off and do something?" I asked, Alice, as I fluffed up my pillow.

"Thought about it." She said quickly. "But I've had-it, getting up early, and then being on the road. I just wanna lie down." To drive her point home, she let out a long yawn.

"You should get some rest while you can, B." Jasper said, before lying down on his mattress and pulling Alice next to him. "It's going to get busy, and there will be a lot of people arriving later today and early tomorrow too. Get your rest while you can."

Before I could say anything back, I watched as Jasper snuggled down into Alice, and almost instantly drifted off to sleep.

"He's asleep?" I asked, turning to look at Edward. He quickly looked around me to see Jasper, lulling with his eyes closed, and nodding his head.

"Alice too." He offered, before getting comfortable on his mattress. "Lie down with me?"

I kicked off my socks, and knee crawled closer to Edward so I could lie down and face him. Given we were sleeping on foam mattresses on the floor, they were incredibly comfortable. More comfortable even than my bed back at Charlie's.

"'Night Bells." Emmett said quietly.

"Good night." I replied, realizing Rose too must've fallen asleep.

I heard a little more shuffling coming from Emmett, and then a few minutes later, all that could be heard was heavy breathing. Edward and I were the only ones left still awake.

Turning to face Edward, I noticed he was facing me too, his eyes still open, and a little distant.
"You've been quiet all day." I told him softly, trying not to wake the others.

He reached out his hand, taking mine into his and pulling it close to his chest. Once again, he started tracing patterns with the pads of his fingers along my skin.

"I've been more worried about you—and I haven't been quiet, I've probably spoken to everyone today."

"No." I told him quietly. "That's not what I meant. You've been quiet towards me, and your family. I know you Edward, you're my best friend. I can tell when things bother you. There's been something bothering you all day. You were my Edward again for a little bit t at lunch, but then you retreated quickly back into quiet Edward."

"Your Edward?" Edward asked, quietly.

"Yeah, I mean—," I said, feeling the need to correct myself.
"Don't take that back." He said quickly. "I like the idea of being yours." The small boyish smile that spread across his face was shy. Nervous even. And then what he said, finally clicked.

"I know you're probably tired, but if you've just implied what I think you have, I need to know, Edward. In plain English because I'm crashing here and I really don't think I have the facilities about me to deal with humor or sarcasm right now."

Edward tugged on my hand, pulling me into him. We linked fingers, and I was once again reminded of how small I am in comparison to him. His hands encompassed mine entirely. He shifted a little, and his free hand came up to hold my cheek.

"I've tried to tell you before, Bella." He said in earnest. "You seem to listen to me without hearing. You're so much more than my best friend. You are my family Bella, that much is already true, but I want you to be more than that. I want you to be mine, in the same way that I want to be yours. That may not have been the intent of your words, but—I want it to be true Bella. I want to be yours."

I was blown away by his words. I was struggling to piece together conversations we'd had in the past. Had he said something about wanting me?

"When did you tell me?" I asked, when I couldn't remember a time he'd said anything about wanting me.
"Yesterday most recently and it's probably the closest I've ever come to actually confessing the way I feel about you." I shuffled closer to Edward, hoping to close the distance between us.

"I don't know what you see in me Edward, but I don't care what it is. I want you too. I want to be with you."
Edward let go of my hand, only long enough to grab a hold of me around the waist and pull me into him until we were chest to chest.

"You stupid girl, I don't know what you see in me either, but right now I don't care. You're mine Baby B, and that's all that matters." I nodded my head as I looked up into his emerald eyes. In the subdued lighting of the whare, they were darker than I'd ever seen them, but at the same time they also looked brighter too, happier.
He held his hand to my cheek again, but this time, he started bringing his face closer to mine. A part of me understood that all things considered, this may have been the wrong time and place, but I couldn't find it in me to care. I hoped Edward wouldn't regret this though.

"I trip over myself when I speak to you about this stuff, so I'm not going to ask. I'm just going to do it—I'm going to kiss you." Edward said, and although I wanted to scoff at the thought of him tripping over his words, I couldn't say anything when his lips were pressed to mine.

Slightly at first, and then he seemed to let go of his reservations and I finally started responding to his kiss in kind. We didn't get lost in the moment, and maybe that was a good thing. His siblings were quite literally two feet away.

He pulled away, but quickly placed another kiss on my lips before pulling my tightly to him and holding me close. My face was pressed against his chest where I could hear the thrum of his heart as it beat, and feel the rise and fall of his chest, and just his warmth.

His kissed the crown of my forehead before pulling me into him just a little bit tighter. I could feel his warm breath, against my hair and though it tickled, I didn't want to move. I'd never felt so contented in my life.
I can't be sure if it was the day catching up to me, or just my pure contentment, but it wasn't long before I was drifting off to sleep.

"Bella." I heard whispered just as I started drifting off to sleep.

"I'm here, Edward, always." I whispered back, though I was certain he was asleep.

Edward and I didn't make it to dinner that night. Although Esme and Carlisle tried to wake us; we slept straight through the night and didn't wake up until dawn the following morning.

Day two of Uncle Paora's Tangi, didn't carry quite as much grief as the day before. Some of that, may have had a lot to do with Edward's touches, and stolen kisses throughout the day. There were also lots of babies here too.
They hadn't been here the day before, although it had been a Friday, so I suppose that went without saying.

Emmett told me they were full of shit though. Apparently no employer would stop an employee if they needed to take a day off on a Friday for bereavement for a Tangi—its employment law here. He thinks they were using work as an excuse. I didn't know these people, although I spent a lot of time with one of the baby girls, I couldn't have said anything about why they weren't here yesterday. Everyone received the same kind of phone call Edward had, or a text message, others had been sent emails.

A warm hand running down my side and resting on my hip got my attention as Edward walked up behind me. He'd always been affectionate toward me, toward everyone really, but his tacit displays of affection had levelled the playing field of 'friends' and entered into coupledom. He didn't just hold me around my waist, or my shoulders, his hand spent a lot of time resting on my hip, or in my back pocket. The Cullen's just watched on, without saying a thing, as if it was perfectly normal.

Had they anticipated this change? Had they noticed that Edward had feelings for me? Had he told them?

"Hey Baby, who've you got there?" He whispered in my ear, tickling the belly of Claire, one of Edward's cousins. She was only about six months old, but she was a chubby little thing and she had coffee-colored eyes, framed by gorgeously long, dark eyelashes. She was probably the prettiest baby I'd ever seen.

I couldn't remember the name of her parents, so I just pointed them out to Edward. They were standing in the parking lot, catching up with someone as they each had a smoke.

I could feel Edward leaning in to me, as he peered around my shoulder to have a look at who I was pointing to, and I was shocked to hear him growl lowly under his breath.

Claire startled a little, looking up at Edward, but she quickly settled upon seeing him. I'd probably settle down pretty quickly looking at his face too.

"What's wrong?" I didn't even realize Edward has started rocking the two of us from side to side until Claire's little eyes started drooping as she drifted off to sleep.

"You see the woman talking to Uncle Embry—Bubba's Dad?" Edward asked. I looked at the three people standing in the car park. When I saw the woman he was speaking about I nodded my head.

"Who is she?" I shuffled Claire so she was resting across my shoulder. Edward wrapped his arms around me, pulling my back tightly against his chest.

"My ex-wife, Tanya." This time I growled in response. I didn't know the woman from Eve, and other than the fact that Edward had an ex-wife I knew very little about their marriage or what their relationship had been like. But his very tense reaction to her had me thinking it hadn't ended on the best of terms.

"Why would she come here, Edward?" I found myself asking.

"I have no idea." He answered angrily. "But I am certain Rosalie plans on finding out." Edward trailed off laughingly, drawing my attention to the fired up blonde storming across the footpath towards the three of them.
I felt like we were bearing witness to a car crash as Edward and I stood, looking on. It even felt as though the wind itself had responded to the tension, as it ramped up a notch, making me huddle Claire closer to my chest as I fought to shield her from the wind. Edward wrapped himself tighter around the two of us, followed by another set of muscular arms that shocked me until I heard the laugh that accompanied it.

"Group hug!" He cheered, giving us a bit of a squeeze.

"Careful of the baby." Edward admonished.

Emmett clearly mistook what Edward had said though. "You're pregnant!"

"What! No! Dumbass." Edward said, very quickly. "Claire, you dumbfuck. Bella's holding Claire."

"Oh." Emmett laughed. Letting go of us, he looked over my shoulder, and saw the sleeping baby curled tightly into my chest.

"Shit Son, for a second there I was shocked as fuck. I mean seriously you totally almost stole my thunder, but Rose isn't ready yet, but yeah. Shit. She looks like she could be yours though. Look at her hair!"

"You're an idiot, Emmett. I also think you may want to get your wife." I turned to look at Emmett, surprised to see terror cloud his features.

"Why would I need to get Rose? It's not like we're pregnant—I mean, you know. No Cullen Grandbabies just yet. You know? So, yeah. What do I need Rosie here?"

I rolled my eyes at him. Emmett was in the habit of tripping over himself although normally his wife would be standing there to ream him for it. This time he was just acting like a blundering fool.

"Ok, weird guy." Edward said quickly, before unwrapping himself from me. "Your wife is about to maim my ex-wife."

"No shit, she's been threatening to do it if she ever saw her again for years now." Emmett shrugged.

"Yeah well she's seen her, and she's about to go postal any second now, look in the car park."

Emmett didn't say anything else as he scanned the car park. I could tell when he'd seen Rosalie, or maybe Tanya, because he was running across the grass and jumping the fence a second later.

A second too late though.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing here!" Rosalie screamed, in a much lower pitch than I thought she was capable of.

Tanya's response couldn't be heard though. She was either trying to keep up appearances or feigning ignorance.
Emmett had finally arrived at Rosalie's side, but she didn't even seem to care. I didn't even know how long Edward and Tanya had been married let alone divorced, so this could have been festering for years.

I'd seen that Rosalie had a short temper on an almost daily basis, but she blew up, let it all out and simmered down in a matter of minutes. If this grudge against Tanya had been weighing on her for long enough, I don't know if anything or anyone could stop her.

"You have no right!" Rosalie shouted. "You are nothing to this family. You're as good as dead to Edward. He's moved on. He's happy! He doesn't have a loose, whore like you tying him down anymore."

"How dare you?!" Was Tanya's indignant response, but Rose wasn't done.

"No, you don't get to say that. You don't get to try to place yourself back into his life—this family again like nothing happened. It doesn't work like that. You were screwing around on Edward for so long, you didn't even know who the father of your baby was."

"You don't know what you're talking about!"

Rose was still fired up and even with Emmett trying to calm her down, it wasn't doing much of anything, except maybe fanning the flames.

"The hell I don't!"

I felt a little bit sorry for Edward's Uncle, and his girlfriend. They clearly had no idea as to whom they were speaking.

"I should speak to her." Edward whispered sadly into my ear. The way he said it though, with no conviction, I could tell that it was the last thing he wanted to do.

"Why? By the sound of things she owes you an explanation, not the other way around." Edward sighed sadly before hugging me tightly to him again as we continued to watch the sparring match going on between Rosalie and Tanya. I was beginning to wonder when it would come to blows.

"You've never spoken about her." Edward shook his head into my shoulder.

"Was it as bad as Rose makes it sound?"

"Worse." A whispered answer.

When I noticed Esme and Alice storming out of the Whare, with Jasper and Carlisle hot on their heels, I had a feeling the situation was not going to get any better.

"Should we go with them?" Once again, Edward was reduced to shaking his head against my shoulder.

I was shocked when he started walking across the path, and heading toward the archway. I had the baby, so the last thing I wanted to do was climb the fence.

"We probably should have found someone to take the baby."

"Probably, but it's too late now. Besides, her parents are there. We can hand her over if we need to."

The tension in the parking lot was heady. Trying to slice through it with a spoon would have been overkill.

Esme, Alice and Rose were standing against Tanya, their poor partners standing behind them. In their own way, each was trying their best to calm their better halves. Emmett had his arms around Rosalie's middle, Jasper was trying his best to hold Alice back by holding her around the hips, and Carlisle had a hand on his wife's shoulder.
All three women were red faced as they went off on Tanya. The way she stood, looking self-righteous in their stead frustrated me. From what I'd learned she meant nothing to this family, it was probably likely dancing on Uncle Paora's grave turning up like this.

"You have no right turning up like this!" Edward's commanding voice said, cutting through the bickering of the Cullen women.

Tanya appeared somewhat triumphant, as she turned quickly to look at Edward. He was still holding me, his hand nervously rubbing circles into my hip as he'd wrapped himself around me. I noticed the triumph bleed from her face as she looked at the two of us.

"Edward, darling." She greeted, sickeningly sweet. "I was just catching up with your cousins here." She gestured to Uncle Embry, and Jessica—his girlfriend. "And you're family."

"The hell you were." Rosalie screamed, startling Claire who let out a small whimper. I could see Jessica look over to her daughter, Uncle Embry too, but Edward was quick to shift her from my arms into his where she settled quickly.

I felt sorry for Tanya though because now my hands were free too; except Edward, who even with the baby in his hands still held me to him.

"What are you doing here?" Edward said levelly although the look he cast her should have had had her six-feet under.

Tanya tried to step closer, but this time I found myself stepping forward. I didn't want her anywhere near Edward, let alone Claire who was actually drifting off again in Edward's arms. Jessica had mentioned she hadn't slept much on the drive up, and she'd started teething so she wasn't sleeping too well at night.

"Oh, how precious. You've found your white picket fence, have you?"

"Just leave Tanya, you didn't even like him, so I don't know why you'd turn up." Edward said, bored.

"I loved Uncle Paul—,"

"Ha." Edward cut her off. "I'm sure you did. So much so, you don't even know his name. Fuck off Tanya. It'll be a cold day in hell before you set foot in this Marae."

A cold wind blew harshly at us, making me huddle around Edward and Claire. Edward handed her back over to me, before taking off his hoodie, so he was left in his long sleeve thermal and undershirt. I took the hoodie quickly, shuffling the baby as I wrapped her up quickly, making sure I kept her warm.

Tanya had been standing there silent, watching the exchange. She still hadn't left though.

"Do you need it written out for you? Leave." Alice said, shrugging off Jasper's grip and walking towards Tanya. How the baby could drift back to sleep through all of this tension, I had no idea.

"I just wanted to—,"

"You are not welcome here." Aunty Mere said who was with another one of Edward's Aunties, whose name I couldn't remember, and Uncle Wiremu.

"This is my husband's Tangi; it is only for family and friends. You are neither, so leave. I will not welcome you on, so I suggest you leave quickly. I will call the police if I have to." Aunty Ripeka—I remembered—Uncle Paora's wife said.

Tanya still looked like she was willing to keep speaking, but then she looked back at Edward. Whatever she saw on his face, was not what she had expected to see. She actually took another step back.

I turned to look at Edward and saw him looking at Claire and me. In that moment I think I knew, I didn't just want to be with Edward, I needed to be with him. He may not know what I saw in him, but looking into his eyes, it was obvious. I saw a man I'd kill for and protect at all costs.

We all watched Tanya flounder for a few minutes before walking over to her car. It was the first time I'd noticed how inappropriately she was dressed. While all the women here were in jeans, galoshes, thermal shirts and sweaters, she was dressed in a long sleeved, bandage dress that came to mid-thigh, and knee high stiletto boots.

When all we could see was the back of her beat up, older Mazda, the tension levels dropped dramatically.

"Embry, Jessica, what the hell was that girl doing here, talking to the both of you?" Aunty Mere scolded, her eyes focused solely on Embry.

Edward and I, as well as the rest of the family chose that moment to head back inside. Claire needed to be put down, and Edward must've been getting cold.

When we got back to the whare, a lot of the younger children were playing games together. I noticed they playing card games in one group, while the other group was playing a board game, The Game of Life, I think.
It took me back to when I was younger and playing card games with Jake, and the res boys. Back when my being a girl didn't mean anything.

I wasn't sure where Embry and Jessica were sleeping, so I laid Claire down on Edward's mattress. I was certain we were far enough away from the rest of the kids that they shouldn't wake her up, but all the same, Edward asked them to keep quiet. He asked one of the older kids to keep an eye on her before we both headed into the kitchen.

When we arrived, everyone seemed to be doing a task. Aunty Mere was cooking up something in massive pots, while Esme, Alice and Rosalie peeled sweet potatoes and russet potatoes.

Looking around, there only seemed to be women in the kitchen, and Uncle Waylon, who was one of Carlisle's, fathers' best friends. He was practically family and he had been close to Uncle Paora too. Edward had introduced the two of us although I really hadn't said much more than 'hello' to him.

"Where're the boys?" I asked Esme as Edward washed his hands.

"They're butchering the meat." Esme said off-handedly, pointing to a door I'd missed. I noticed Edward heading that way and chose to follow him. That was not the best decision I'd ever made. I caught a whiff of blood before I'd even crossed the threshold.

"Edward." I'd barely managed to squeak out as my vision clouded over, and the edges started fading black. I felt arms grab me, but as for the rest, I have no idea.

I woke to the jostling movements of someone carrying me. The familiar warmth, and comfort I felt, meant it had to be Edward. I clutched Edward's shirt to me, as I blinked my eyes open.

"You know these fainting spells of yours absolutely terrify me." I felt the rumble of Edward's chest as he spoke.

"Just keeping you on your toes." Edward looked down at me lovingly, before quickly kissing my forehead.

"If that's how you plan to keep me on my toes, I'm going to be six feet under before I have a ring on your finger."

It was probably too soon. He hadn't met Charlie, or Seth, my step-brother. I hadn't even told the Cullen's I had a step-brother. But I really did like the sound of the future he was painting. It was the white picket fence I thought I'd long since given up on, but he made me think that I could have the life I wanted.

"You're quiet." Edward had stopped walking and was just holding me. "Did I say too much, too fast—I'm sorry. I didn't—"

I quickly clapped my hand over his mouth to stop him saying anything else. He almost dropped me in shock though, but he didn't, but I think only just.

"Get out of your head, Edward. Don't think you can scare me off that easily. You're pretty much stuck with me now."

Edward set me back down on my feet, but he kept his arms around me, leaning down until there was only an inch between us. I raised my hand and rested it on Edward's cheek. It was rough, from three days of growth, and tickled my palm. His eyes were dark, full of a shine brighter than I'd ever experienced since I'd met him. The way his dark eyelashes brushed his cheeks when he blinked, made me envy him, but at the same time, I saw a smaller version of him too. A baby.

I don't know if Claire had made me clucky, or if I had reached that point in my life where a child made sense, but I wanted a baby, and I wanted it with Edward. I wanted a life with Edward.

"You don't need a ring." I ran my finger over his lips. "You don't need anything, you've got me already."

"There's something more permanent I'd do for you Bella." Edward stilled my hand on his cheek.

"I want to add you into my Moko, Bella. I don't quite know how they'll work your heritage into the design, but that's more permanent than any ring. That's where I see you. I see you so embedded into my life that you're etched into my skin, Bella. You're my family."

I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and reached up on my tiptoes to softly press my lips to his.
"If it's okay, I want to get a moko too. I want to get whatever they'll let me have."

Edward crushed me to his chest and just held me to him. He rocked us side to side for a bit before just holding me to him. I was shocked when he started laughing, and couldn't help but pull away a little to look at him.

"I'm not laughing at us, or this, I'm over the moon right now. I just realized we've pretty much declared ourselves to each other on the footpath, outside of the toilets at Waipuna, the afternoon before we bury Uncle Paora."

I shook my head, smiling at the revelation. He certainly had a point. As far as romance goes, our relationship certainly had none of it.

"And they say romance is dead."

Edward grabbed my hand and led me into the whare. The children were still playing games amongst themselves; a couple of the older girls were sitting with Jessica who was changing Claire's diaper.

Edward and I just sat around and relaxed for a bit. One of his Aunties, Ray, who'd arrived late, started chatting with us too. She was absolutely hilarious. I was really surprised when she'd told me she was once a man. She said it so blasé, I was actually really shocked, and proud of her. Apparently, Carlisle, being the manly man that he is, still has a hard time kissing her hello, but he's getting there.

We were probably only in the whare for about an hour or two when we were all being called in to dinner. It was another simple affair. They'd made a beef stew, fry bread and assorted salads. Nothing fancy, but it tasted great.
Everyone, much like last night was talking amongst themselves. The children passed around fizzy drinks or Raro, (a sweet packet mix drink), Carlisle was trying to wrangle fry bread away from all of his relatives and Esme watched on adoringly, as she laughed with Aunty Mere. Through everything, Edward held my hand, and played with my fingers.

The whole atmosphere was changing. It was happy, peaceful. Without actually knowing why we were here, it would just appear to anyone on the outside like a family reunion. It was like there were times to mourn, and there was a time to just enjoy life and be happy with everyone.

Everyone helped with the dishes this evening, even the hopeless cousins. It was as if everyone was getting ready for tomorrow. For tomorrow, Uncle Paora would actually be laid to rest.

Everyone retreated to the whare together, and I watched quietly as Edward retreated just a little. Not from me this time, but from himself. From his sadness. He was allowing himself to feel the sadness of Uncle Paora's loss again. They all were.

Aunty Ray was quick to get everyone's attention inside the whare, as she sat on her bed with a guitar. A couple of the other cousins had guitars too.

"Okay everybody, we're going to sing a little. I missed it earlier, I had trouble getting off work, but I figure another waiata won't hurt. Okay?" She didn't actually wait for people to agree, she just started strumming.
"Sing along whanau." I didn't recognize the chords she was strumming, but everyone else seemed to.

I have a band of men and all they do is play for me
They come from miles around to hear them play a melody
Beneath the stars my ten guitars will play a song for you
And if you're with the one you love this is what you do
Oh, dance, dance, dance to my ten guitars
And very soon you know just where you are
Through the eyes of love you see a thousand stars
When you dance, dance, dance, to my ten guitars
Guitars are made for love my band of men will always say
So give each one a pretty girl and they will start to play
Beneath the stars my ten guitars will play a song for you
And if you're with the one you love this is what to do
Oh, dance, dance, dance to my ten guitars
And very soon you know just where you are
Through the eyes of love you see a thousand stars
When you dance, dance, dance, to my ten guitars
Ooh, let me tell you now dance, dance, dance to my ten guitars
Hm, come on, everybody, dance dance dance to my ten guitars

Everyone, including the children—and with the exception of myself—sang along. She was great and had t incomparable confidence and charisma. Even I felt like singing along, only I didn't know the words.

Everyone continued singing along for maybe an hour or two; switching between new songs and old songs. Some of which I think I may have heard before, and other's I had no idea about. It was good though, it was beautiful. Even the people, who claimed they couldn't sing, could carry a tune well enough, and they certainly knew how to harmonize.

I drifted off to sleep, leaning against Edward on our mattresses, his voice, caressing my ears as he sang along with the whanau.

Waking up the next morning, I could feel Edward on top of me. At some point in the night, we'd changed positions. Where I had been leaning against Edward when I'd drifted off, I was now lying on my back with Edward draped across me, his chest weighing me down and pressing me into the mattress. If it wasn't uncomfortably hot, and had he not weighed quite so much, I'm sure this would have looked adorable. He was twice my size though and his rib cage was pressing down into my bladder.

"Edward." I whispered, trying not to wake anyone else. Though I couldn't see the time, I assumed it was probably still fairly early.

"My Baby." Edward said sleepily, snuggling into me further.

"Edward." I said at a more conversational level. He needed to wake up soon, or he'd be waking up in a puddle.
"Five more minutes Mum, playing with the baby. Such a pretty baby." He was adorably sleepy, and lord knows what he was dreaming about. He needed to get off of me. I would have shoved him, but he'd somehow managed to pin me down in such a way that my hands were immobile. I could barely feel them.

Using my legs, I somehow managed to kick Edward's leg off me and with a bit more maneuvering I was able to get to my knees and roll Edward off so he was sleeping on his back. I had to give him my pillow though.

"My god, you sleep like the dead." I moaned, finally able to get up and rush to the bathroom.

After relieving myself, I decided to tidy my hair and brush my teeth. Had I not left my toiletries bag in the bathroom last night, I probably wouldn't have bothered.

When I returned to the whare, I was shocked to see that almost everyone was gone. None of the Cullen's were still in their beds. Neither were Jessica and Embry although I could see little Claire had woken up. She'd been left with one of the older girls, Elizabeth.

"Is Claire awake?" I asked Elizabeth, shocked to see a guilty look on her face.

"Aunty Jessica told me to leave her sleep, but she was so cute. I started playing with her fingers and then she woke up. I'm sorry Aunty Bella. I didn't listen." I shushed Elizabeth and tried my best to calm her down. I promised her that everything would be fine, and that I'd take Claire so that she wouldn't get into trouble. Lizzie was nodding her head so happily, I didn't feel bad at all, that I would have probably done the same thing she had.

Lizzie rushed from the whare into the kitchen where I assume she was going back to her parents, thus leaving me with Claire.

"You know I'm not actually your Aunty right?" I told the baby as I tickled her stomach. "I'm like your cousin-in law or something, and that's only if I marry Edward. When we have babies, they'll be your nieces and nephews I think. According to what Edward tells me, but maybe they'd just call you Claire. You're much too young to be an Aunty."

"You make it sound like the first Cullen Grandchild is on its way." Edward said from the side door, scaring the Holy Jesus out of me.

I clutched the baby to me as I tried to still my freaking out heart. "Seriously, make a noise!"

Edward held his hands up in surrender before crossing the room.

"I came to grab you for breakfast. It's about to get crazy around here in an hour or so, I need you fed. I can't have you passing out on me again."

I narrowed my eyes. "I passed out once, for forgetting to eat and you're still holding that against me."

"It was the day we met, B. It was a rather lasting impression." I pushed Edward away as I gathered Claire in my arms and walked toward the kitchen.

Jessica caught my eye firs, and mouthed her thanks when she saw Claire in my arms. I just smiled back before playfully waving with Claire.

Edward followed closely behind me, playing with Claire over my shoulder. I noticed an empty seat next to Alice and sat down. Edward continued walking past me, and I just shrugged. I quickly poured myself a glass of water.
"You know B; I was wondering when Edward would finally say something to you." Alice said, as her eyes watched Edward across the room.

I cocked my eyebrow at her, "You knew?"

Alice laughed at me, not with me, at me. Shaking her head, the whole time, she settled herself before wiping a faux tear from her eye.

"As well as you think you know Edward, there's a whole other side of him you haven't seen; the broken side that was left behind after Hurricane Tanya. You're what he needs, without a doubt, but it's nice to see him like this again. He's not as serious, and he smiles a lot more. The way he looks at you, it reminds me of Mum and Dad."
I looked down at Claire, kissing her nose. She smelled like baby, and though I'd never been around too many babies before, I loved her baby smell. "I don't think I ever want to see that whore again. I don't think I can be held responsible for my actions if I ever do. "

A plate, filed with a piece of toast, scrambled eggs and two slices of bacon was slid in front of me, as well as a cup of coffee.

"Don't tell me you're plotting my death, B. I'm sorry I startled you." I patted Edward's cheek, smiling as I watched his eyes light up.

"Is this your peace offering?"

"If you'll accept it." I nodded my head, "Then yes, consider this a peace offering for my deplorable actions a few minutes ago."

"Big words, Teddy." Alice chimed in, pushing her brother away. "Go get dressed you Bella hog, we're having girl time."

Edward tried to reach for Claire, but Alice shoved him again. "Girl time, Claire is a girl."

Edward glared at his sister before quickly kissing my forehead and skulking away.

"You enjoy messing with him too much." I said, before cutting into my breakfast.

"He's just too easy."

Alice reached for Claire and pulled her into her lap as I quickly finished my breakfast. Apparently it wouldn't be long now before everyone was here for the Tangi, so I needed to shower and change. The kitchen helpers had arrived, so Aunty Mere told us not to worry about dishes. She was running behind on the kai prep and didn't need more feet in her kitchen causing mayhem.

I didn't like the idea of getting on Aunty Mere's bad side, so I agreed and quickly left the kitchen. Claire had been 'liberated' by Alice, so I had no excuse not to grab my clothes and dress.

I had no idea what was appropriate to wear at a tangi. I'd tried to Google it, but the only images I'd found were pictures of people in traditional dress. That didn't sound right to me. Alice just told me to pack some black clothes so that's what I did. I packed a black maxi skirt, black singlets and thermals, a black sweater, black jeans and a black leather jacket. I even found and packed my black scarf. I didn't even know I owned a black scarf!
I was looking at all the black in my suitcase when Rosalie found me.

"Well that's overkill." She joked, sitting beside me. She was dressed tidily in a pair of black skinny jeans, a black sweater and a long black coat. Her hair was left down, and she was only wearing chapstick.

"I didn't know what to wear, or if there was a protocol."

Rose dragged my suitcase in front of her and started pulling out an outfit. Jeans, tank top, turtle neck sweater, jacket. That's all she pulled out. I'd already managed to pull out my underwear.

"We're not as strict here as other Marae's, jeans will be fine, and preferred. I don't know what this weather is doing, so your boots would probably be a good idea too, unless you have some Red Bands, floating round."
"Red Bands?"

"Gum boots. You know long rubber shoes, worn to keep your feet dry in wet weather, or muddy weather."
"Galoshes?"
"To-mae-toe, to-mah-toe. Do you have any?" I shook my head.

"Any shoes will be fine really; gum boots just keep you clean." Rose said, before rocking to her feet and pulling me up.

"Go get ready; we've got maybe half an hour before everyone arrives. Emmett and Jasper just got back after helping dig the grave." I didn't want to be in the shower when people started turning up, so I had the quickest shower of my life. I heard people come and go while I was in the shower and I worried I was taking too long.
I didn't even bother with my hair. I towel dried myself, probably doing a terrible job before stepping into my underwear. The only jeans I owned were skinny jeans, and it was like mission impossible trying to slide my jeans up wet legs.

After almost killing myself when I tripped into the sink, I finally managed to wiggle my way into my jeans. It was easy enough on top though, I threw on a black turtle neck, and a black leather jacket, and twenty minutes after entering the bathroom, I was dressed. My hair was pulled back into a pony tail, and I pulled on the only pair of boots I'd packed. An over the knee pair of flat black, leather boots my mother had purchased for me.

"Looking bad ass, Baby B." Emmett joked. He and Jasper were leaving the men's bathroom.

I quickly looked down at what I was wearing; I hadn't really had a chance to earlier.

"Rose picked it out. Should I change?" I worried, Rose was dressed similarly, but unlike me, at least she had gum boots on.

"You look fine, Bella. Ignore him." Said Jasper, ever the voice of reason—when he wasn't acting like a tool.
Both Men caught up to me, they each took to either side of me, each throwing one of their arms around my shoulders. I didn't realize we'd be heading back into the whare. Leaning on Jasper, I took my shoes off and headed inside.

The mattresses had all been rotated and stacked two high as they lined the walls. Bags were pushed close up against the wall as were the blankets.

All the Cullen's were sitting together, so I made a beeline for them. Edward shifted over, giving me some room. I sat next to him, not surprised in the least when he wrapped his arm around shoulders and tucked me into the curve of his waist.

"You're going to see a lot of grown men cry today, Baby." He said very seriously, "I'm going to be one of them."
I reached up to play with his hair. It wouldn't be the first time I had watched him cry. This time, at least I knew why.

"I know." I held his face in the palm of my hand. He was clean shaven now, unlike yesterday. "I'm going to be here for you all the same. Just like I was when you found out that your uncle had died."

Edward kissed me quickly on the lips before settling his arm back around me.

When I heard one of the women calling out in Māori, I knew everyone had arrived. Her voice, their voices actually, rang at such an incredible pitch or key—I'm not musical—but it chilled me to the bone and settled somewhere deep inside, that without even knowing what they were saying, I understood the weight of their cry.

It was haunting and beautiful, but miserable all at the same time.

When people started flooding into the whare I was floored. There were so many people, all here to see off Uncle Paora. I'd been told he was loved, but I guess I didn't understand quite how much.

Men, women, and children; old, young, fair skinned, dark skinned and every color in between, they all stood in congregation. I kissed every unfamiliar person, I received hugs and apologies, condolences most especially and through it all I stood by Edward as every person's words settled within him like the weight of the world.

When everyone had gone through and said their hellos, we were moving. Uncle Paora needed to go up to the church.

The church was a small building atop a hill. It was where the Cullen kids were all baptized. This ceremony, I could understand, but for whatever reason, it didn't seem to resonate on the same level. They may have been giving him the blessing of god, or whatever it is you receive at a church funeral service, but it didn't feel right.
The final trip for Uncle Paora was to the Urupa. I walked hand in hand with Edward, and I could feel the tremble of his body as he allowed his grief to overtake him. Everyone in attendance had surrendered themselves to their grief and allowed it to wash through them. There were tear tracks and red-rimmed eyes staring at me from behind sunglass lenses.

I'd never seen such an open display of emotions in my life. I'd attended a couple of funerals growing up, I'd seen the grief of a wife, a mother, a child, but it couldn't hold a candle to the broken people I stood with.

Edward, who refused to be a pall bearer, gripped my hand like a lifeline as we walked behind the congregation. He didn't speak, he didn't sob, but I could feel the tremble in his grip as we walked. I looked around at the faces of Edward's siblings, Alice was crying into Jasper's chest as Rose clung to Emmett. She fought tears, in her attempt to be strong for Emmett, but she too was clearly affected. Carlisle was a pall bearer, so Esme held onto the shoulders of Emmett and Alice, lending them her strength.

At the cemetery I tuned out what everyone was saying. I couldn't listen to the sorrow in their words and not cry, so I tuned them out. Edward, as we stood next to the grave had wrapped himself so tightly around me as he cried, all I could do was to stand there and let him.

I let his grief wash over and through me. I let him hold me, his tears soaking through to my skin. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered right now except Edward.

Edward let me go and grabbed the attention of his brother and Jasper. He kissed my lips before disengaging himself. I noticed some of the other boys, younger boys, following behind the three of them.

Before I could ask what was going on, I heard the cries of the woman again. It seemed louder now. More powerful. It flooded through me again, but this time her cry was met with that of another, many. The boys, who'd left the sides of their partners, were doing a haka.

They moved in tandem so well you'd have thought they'd rehearsed it. There was passion and pain in their movements, in their voices. They were loud, but they didn't drown out the woman.

I think that was the point though.

When they'd finished their haka, I watched as all the energy they'd channeled into their performance, take a toll on them.

I didn't wait for Edward to meet me; I closed the distance between us, and wrapped my arms around him and just held him.

Everything else happened around us as Edward just cried. Would this reach an end? Would he find the peace he needed to move on?

The ceremony at the grave site didn't take very long. Much had been said in the church. Actually it may have taken a long time, but I wouldn't know. My priorities were focused on Edward.

Before I'd realized it, Uncle Paora was being lowered into the ground. Edward moved closer to the grave. He stepped up next to Aunty Ripeka and Emily. I followed him, my fingers entwined with his. I felt another hand slide into my free one, a smaller, slightly calloused one.

Alice had joined me, and with her were Jasper and the rest of the Cullen's.

I watched as Aunty Ripeka and then Emily picked up some dirt and threw it into the grave. I could see they offered whispered words to Uncle Paora, before they each hugged and kissed the white, wooden cross which would serve as a temporary grave marker until his headstone was unveiled.

Edward stepped up next, pulling me along with him. When he picked up some dirt, I bent over too. The dirt was almost like mud, having been moments of rain in the early hours of the morning.

"You were like my other Dad, Uncle." Edward started. His voice clear, even laced with his emotions. "I just, I'm gonna miss you so much. You didn't get to meet my girl. You'd have loved her. She's perfect. I just… be happy okay. That's all you ever wanted for me. So I want you to be the same. I'll look out for Aunty, I promise, and I'll look out for Emily too. I'll be the man you helped me to become, and just like you did with Aunty, I'm going to treasure every moment I have with my wahine, 'cause she's the real deal this time. I love you Uncle. So much."
He didn't say anything profound, but it was enough for him, because as the words left him, he seemed to right himself. He sprinkled dirt over the coffin. I wasn't sure if I was allowed to say anything or if I was even supposed to, but I did.

"I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to meet you, Uncle Paora. But I'll look after Edward. I promise you. I'll look after him." I sprinkled dirt over his coffin too before stopping at the cross. Edward kissed the top, rubbing Uncle Paora's name, before pressing his nose against the white cross.

I felt the need to pay my respects properly, so I crouched down and kissed his name. I pressed my forehead to the cross also and prayed Uncle Paora would help Edward get through this.

I don't really remember much of what followed. There were more tears, there was another meal and there were more songs. Those who came for the funeral service left soon after the meal, and when all the dust settled it was once again just the immediate family.

Everyone seemed entirely cried out, so instead they went off to celebrate at the nearby restaurant, the local and only bar for miles. Edward didn't seem to want to join them, so instead we waited at the whare. Sleep came easy for me, but even easier for Edward.

---

I had a lot of trouble splitting this chapter, so I kept it all together.

Some of the names used are actually Maori versions of familiar names:

Paora = Paul

Ripeka = Rebecca

Mere = Mary

But also heres a few other words too:

Aroha = Love

Ataahua = Beautiful

I'd love to read your thoughts.

NicNyx.