Disclaimer - I don't own Degrassi.
A/N - Sorry it took me so long to update.
"Good morning are you ready to go home today?" A nurse asked as she walked in. I sat up excitedly.
"Yes." I stated with a smile. I hated this place.
"I have your release forms right here, your parents have been notified and will be here soon." She said and put the papers down. I looked through them and at the prescription of medications, I'm being put on Xanx as well as Vicodin. The anxiety pills were prescribed by Dr. Denial as I like calling her. After the nurse left I dug into my duffel bag and took out some clothes, then got dressed and finished packing my things.
"Ready to go?" CeCe asked coming into my room moments later.
"Yes." I said happily as I took my crutches and made my way to the door. Bullfrog carried my things.
"This bag feels lighter than when CeCe made it." He chuckled
"That's because Adam and I drank the sodas and ate the snacks." I stated. After signing my release forms CeCe, Bullfrog, and I made our way to The Hog.
"Eli you have your group therapy in two hours are you hungry?" CeCe asked as we got into the elevator.
"Group therapy with Dr. Quack seems fun, son your doctors a duck." Bullfrog chuckled as we looked at him. "You know ducks they go 'quack' just like Eli's doctor." He stated causing me to slightly chuckle, but think.
"Mom, my doctor's a quack, who the hell picks out my doctors? The first one is in denial and now my new one is a quack." I stated pinching the bridge of my nose as I kept leaned against the elevator wall. We all made our way out once the elevator chimed and the doors opened.
"So you have your appointment in an hour would you like to go to McDonalds to eat?" CeCe asked
"Sure." I sighed just my luck group therapy is at noon and probably moves to after school.
"Look at it this way son, you'll be able to make new friends." Bullfrog said trying to cheer me up.
"But I'm not suicidal." I whined
"We know baby boy, but you crashed Morty for Clare so you might have another mental disability." CeCe said softly causing me to sigh loudly. "Just be happy he's getting fixed." She stated.
"McDonalds is fine." I said back we all walked to the car and hopped in. The radio was on so there was no use for my iPod. The ride was quiet, but it was comfortable.
"What would you like?" Bullfrog asked once we got inside the restaurant.
"I'll have a cheeseburger with fries and a large fountain drink." I stated as CeCe and I followed him.
"You're making your own drink." Both said at the same time.
"But someone's carrying it." I added
Bullfrog gave CeCe our empty cups and we made our way to the fountain machine. I took mine and added a little bit of each option into my cup, but left out the diet. Today's drink consisted of: Rootbeer, Sprite, Coke, Orange Soda, Sweet Tea, Fruit Punch, Pink Lemonade, and Dr. Pepper. When I was finished making my concoction I gave my cup to CeCe and we picked out a table close to the window. Minutes later Bullfrog came along with our food.
We talked a little as we ate, but nothing of any importance. When we were done eating Bullfrog threw our trash away as we began to leave. After getting in the car I made sure to pocket my iPod just in case CeCe and Bullfrog were late picking me up or drop me off too early I have something to do. We drove for about twenty minutes before pulling up to a large brick building.
"He's on the first floor Room 12. Are you sure you don't want us to come in?" CeCe asked
"For the third time mom, I'm fine." I stated she nodded and I hopped out of the car with my crutches in hand. I shut the door and made my way into the building.
The walls were white with grey tiles that made my crutches echo every time they clacked against them. It didn't take too long for me to find the room and already I felt out of place. I looked in the door and hesitantly put my hand on the knob, I was about to pull away when I felt it open.
"You must be one of the kids, welcome." An older man said who was most likely Dr. Quack. I smirked sardonically at him and made my way in the door instantly causing all eyes to focus on me as I made my way to a chair, as if being her wasn't bad enough. "It looks like everyone's here. Allow me to introduce myself I'm Dr. Quack." He said
"If you're a quack why are you a doctor?" One of the other teens asked causing us all to laugh except I let out a little chuckle.
"I'm not a quack it's just my last name." He argued.
"Like a duck?" Someone shot back. I sighed and was happy that I bought my iPod which I gladly listened to as the arguing continued. I turned my iPod up as loud as it went to over power the yelling, if every session went like this I wouldn't matter because it meant not having to open up to a bunch of judgmental people. The yelling quieted down and I was asked to remove my headphones which I did after shutting off my iPod.
"So who wants to share first?" Dr. Quack asked, I looked around the room and no one said anything. "How about you with the crutches?" He asked looking at me.
"I'd rather not open up to a bunch of strangers that don't give a damn about me." I said honestly.
"Then I'll start." A girl with long black hair said as she stood up. "I'm Imogen Moreno I've just moved here." She started pulling her sleeves down more. "I've just been enrolled at a new school, lucky me it's the end of the year." I rolled my eyes. "Like everyone I have problems and my own ways of dealing with them. I don't overdose or try to kill myself I just kill my feelings." She stated
"You cut them out?" I asked referring to her habits.
"You can say that. I started cutting when I was 14." She said then finished . "Now it's your turn." She said looking at me.
"I'm Eli Goldsworthy age 17. I'm in grade 11, I don't do labels, I have both parents, and I want to go home." I said earning some laughs.
"Why are you here?" Dr. Quack asked
"People are questioning my mental stability." I stated
"What would give them reason to do that?" He asked back causing me to chuckle.
"I got into a car accident." I said and everyone looked at me "I crashed my hearse purposely, but I had no intention of killing myself." I added "I just wanted to prove something to someone and it didn't work case closed."
"I'm Imogen Moreno. I'm here because I um." She standing up and started to pull at her sleeves "I cut myself. It's my way of release. I don't really want to die, but I just need something to help me get by." She said as she sat back down.
After that everyone went around the room sharing their stories, the teens were shockingly a lot like me. No one labeled me or anything. When it was time to go we started to say our goodbyes. I made it out on my crutches, but my parents were late so I sat down in a bench outside by the door.
"Parents late?" Imogen asked
"Looks that way." I replied dryly as she sat next to me "What about your parents?" I asked
"Late too." She stated, I nodded at her trying to keep the small talk to a minimum. "What school do you go to?" She asked
"Degrassi." I replied dryly.
"Really I'm starting there. How is it?" She stated happily.
"It's a school, everyone has their own clique." I answered
"Really and what one are you in?" She asked before I could answer my parents pulled up. I have to say they do have perfect timing.
"There are my parents I have to go." I said as I grabbed my crutches and started to make my way to the car.
"I'll see you next week and then in school." She said
"Looks like it." I replied looking at her as I opened the door. "Don't cut yourself anymore you're so much more than that." I told her sweetly as I made my way out, she genuinely smiled at me, I faintly smirked back.
"Who was that?" CeCe asked as I got in the car.
"Some girl named Imogen." I stated
"Oh she seems nice." Bullfrog said, I stayed quiet and put my iPod on as we made our way home.
CeCe opened the back door for me and helped me out of the car as we made our way to the door. Bullfrog stood in front of it with his hand on the knob.
"Ready to go in and see the changes CeCe made?" He asked
"Yes." I said excitedly and with that he opened the door. The living room was rearranged and there were new pillows on our couch as well as a rug in the middle of the wooden floor. I made my way to the kitchen and there were all new dishes. "You didn't have to get new dishes CeCe." I said knowingly
"I wanted to baby boy, now go look at your room." She encouraged. I made my way to my room to look at it. Once I got to my room I pushed the door open and made my way inside. My room was redecorated, there's a black rug in the middle of it, more band posters, new bed sheets, new pillows, the pictures of me and Clare were taken down, Clare's stuff was removed, it smelled like my cologne. I opened the closet and the only things in there were mine nothing of Clare's same with my nightstand. After taking a good look around my room, I made my way to the bath room, her things were gone too just like I asked. Don't get me wrong I loved what CeCe did, but removing Clare just makes it real. There was a knock at the door before it opened. "Here baby boy I thought you might want this." She said holding one of my Dead Hand shirts Clare had.
"Thanks." I said as I went over to take it.
"I didn't wash it, but it still smells like her, I just thought you might want it as is." She explained
"I do thank you and thanks again for everything." I smiled as I slowly made my way to my bed with the shirt. I sat on my bed and not caring about the pain I curled up with the shirt in the fetal position and held it letting the smell of Clare take over me.
"Are you ok baby boy?" She asked
"When does the hurting stop?" I asked back as a few stray tears fell down my face. CeCe walked over to me and sat with me, I felt her hand brush my hair.
"I wish I could tell you, but there's no answer to that." She soothed "You loved her and like Julia it'll take time." She said
"Can I have some pain medicine my leg hurts like hell." I admitted
"Your leg or your heart?" She asked
"Both." I answered honestly. CeCe kissed my forehead and made her way out of the room. Minutes later Bullfrog came in with a glass of water and my medicine.
"How are you holding up son?" He asked
"It sucks dad." I said honestly.
"I know." he replied.
"I have food I made you tempeh." CeCe said sweetly causing me to look at her. "You need to eat something if you're just going to stay up here and sleep."
"Ok." I said as I moved, CeCe placed the tray on my lap so it was straddling me and Bullfrog placed the water and two pills on a napkin. CeCe kissed my forehead before leaving and Bullfrog smiled at me. After I ate I gladly took the pills and went to sleep holding the Dead Hand shirt that smells like Clare. Going back to school and having to see her was going to kill me.