Marie sniffled again and got up, deciding it was time to start living again. She was tired of letting a coward scare her away. With a pathetic excuse for confidence, she made herself shower, brush her teeth, tie part of her hair back, leaving the white down, and get dressed again. Studying herself in the mirror, she decided she looked much better now.
A knock on her door had her head snapping back and the past superimposing itself over her eyes. A moment just like this, a happy moment, a knock, and then… she shook her head, telling herself she was being ridiculous. Just because it happened once didn't mean every time someone knocked Bobby would come in being a cowardly jerk. The thought gave her enough strength to welcome the person in.
However, not enough to make her expect Piotr outside her door. "Uh, hi." She was too shocked to smile. They were part of a team, but he didn't exactly talk that much. All she really knew was that he was always ready to lend a hand, and he sketched a lot, but other than that, nobody really knew anything about him. Well, besides the obvious 7 feet, 5 inches of steel Colossus. But everything else, even his family, was a complete mystery to everyone.
So what was he doing here?
"Hi," he said softly. She noticed he looked around her room briefly, as if checking to see if there was anyone else hiding in it. What was he doing here? The thought echoed in her mind, but was getting softer now. "Nobody has seen you this week, so I wanted to see if you were alright."
She gave him a little smile, thinking that was really sweet of him. Who would've thought that the steel giant had a soft heart? "I'm okay. I suppose the news has spread around the school, huh?" Her arms wrapped around herself automatically, an unconscious defense.
The movement was not unnoticed by him. A look came and went in his eyes, fleeting by strong. What had that been? "Nobody blames you, Rogue."
"Marie." He looked confused. "Since I don't have any…" she held out her hands for a moment, palms up, "I want to just go by my name. It's Marie," she rambled awkwardly.
He nodded, although it looked like a thought was troubling him. "Alright. Marie, nobody blames you. There are a lot of people who are angry with him for his decision."
She shrugged. "I don't agree with it either, but they suit each other, don't you think?"
He looked out the window, and she saw his jaw flex just the tiniest bit. Was he mad? A second later her wondering was proved. "It doesn't make it right." Piotr looked back at her and she saw that his eyes were intense now, focused. They didn't unnerve her, but they were certainly not his usual soft, peaceful gaze. The blue had taken on a silver tinge, halfway between his normal soft water color and the glinting silver of his steel eyes. She watched as he took a breath and his eyes returned to their normal cross between glacier and Caribbean oceans, focused but kind. When he looked back at her, he was completely, stoically gentle again. "I didn't come here to burden you, though. I just wondered if you needed someone to talk to."
This time she smiled brightly, thinking in the back of her mind, Aw, he's a teddy bear! "I think I need to get out of here for a little while. Want to join in on the escape?" He paused, looking at her strangely again, and nodded, the corners of his mouth tilting up just the slightest bit. He really does smile! A wild thought came into her head that she should try to make him smile as much as possible today. A new mission… Thoughts stopped as she realized that within minutes his presence had brought her from depressed to excited. How interesting… he did have a sort of soothing presence, one that made people feel at ease and happy in a calm sort of way. The thought made her smile again.
Piotr paused—he always seems to do this before he says something. Why? she thought—and nodded his head. "I'd like that. Where are we escaping to?"
"I was thinking… the garden. Or the roof. I like going there." He looked sheepishly down at his size, then back up at her. "Right. Garden it is." Neither of them wanted to explain to anyone why he'd fallen in through the roof. Marie just didn't want him to be embarrassed like that. The poor guy was already so shy, he'd probably stop talking for good if that happened! Just another thought that made her smile. "Oh, wait! I know! There's a part of the forest that I haven't been to yet. Let's go there." She moved to take his hand, then automatically snatched it back, a reflex from all of the years she'd had her 'gift.' Without looking at her, he took her hand and started to walk, ignoring everyone else, although he started to blush.
"Come on," he said.
"Piotr, you don't have to," he heard her say softly. Looking down at her, he realized that Marie was looking up at him with a concerned expression. She obviously had noticed his coloring and figured he was just trying to be nice. That was part of it, but neither of them were ready for him to admit why he was really watching over her.
"It's alright, Ro-Marie." He caught himself and shook his head. He didn't think he'd get used to the name change any time soon. Rogue fit her better, from her personality to her powers. Or, the powers that she had before. Another reason why Iceman was an idiot: she had gotten rid of her powers to be with him. Jerk, he thought, and pushed those thoughts aside again. If she wasn't going to blame him, then Piotr could at least make a try at not being angry with Bobby. Even if his actions still did rub the Russian wrong…
"I know you're trying to be nice and all, but you honestly don't have to do this." His eyes gaze moved back to her and he noticed she was blushing the tiniest bit, looking down at the ground as they moved past the people roaming about the halls.
The thought popped into his head that she was really very pretty when she blushed, but neither of them were ready for that either. "Marie," he said, catching her attention again. Her hair caught on a side of her face and his free hand gently brushed it away from her eye before he could even think of stopping himself. A question played across her face and he was sure he blushed again, although he cursed himself even as he felt the heat creeping up his neck. "Don't worry about people so much. The ones who matter won't care about little things, and the ones who care won't matter."
His voice was as soft as the tide, but somehow just as strong.
Marie stared at him, amazed. Not only by the fact that he had just said more in that sentence than all the previous times combined, but by the words themselves. It was obvious that many, many people were horribly wrong when they said he didn't speak because there wasn't much going on in his head. It was so clear to her now; shy, quiet, thoughtful, gentle, kind. This was the Piotr that people didn't see past the steel and stoic. Yes, he was a man of few words, but those words meant something. She smiled at him, a huge ear-to-ear, brilliant smile she hadn't felt in what seemed like forever.
"Piotr, that's brilliant! Why don't you let people see who you really are?" he raised an eyebrow at her and she laughed. "Right, 'those who care don't matter.' Gotchya. But STILL!" She held his hand and tighter in hers and walked a little lighter, the look on her face priceless to him. This was the Rogue he had sketched. He was glad to be able to see it again.
She looked up at him to see him staring down at her oddly again. "What is that expression?" she wondered out loud. He raised a brow again. "That look that you had just before. What were you thinking?"
"Are you always this nosy?" he countered gruffly, blushing again. What is it with me lately? I'm turning into a girl, he thought to himself. And apparently he was an open book, as well. Why is it that she saw past the calm exterior he wore? Then he cursed himself as he watched the smile falter. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that." He huffed out a sigh. "I was thinking you looked very nice, smiling like that." Honesty was his way of showing he meant the apology, even though it made him blush even deeper. Next thing he knew he'd be wearing make-up and doing sleepovers… Turning his head to study her, he noticed she was looking at him like he'd grown another head. Great. You're truly brilliant, Colossus, he muttered to himself. "I mean…" he opened and closed his mouth, opened… closed it once more. A peal of laughter had his head snapping around and saw her looking up at him, merriment playing across her features wonderfully. Piotr smiled even as he shook his head and held up his other hand. "I know nothing. I said nothing. I give up. Anything I say now can and will be taken the wrong way. I believe it's time for me to shut up." She laughed even harder, throwing her face up, as if the setting sun would catch the sounds and join her. Pressing against his arm, she gave him an odd hug, but it was enough to make his smile wider.
"Poor Piotr. I promise not to tease you… much," she added, and laughed again. He shook his head morosely, but couldn't keep the smile off his face. She noticed this and her own smile grew. "You know, you'd better be careful. If anyone saw that you actually smiled and said nice things and were all deep and thoughtful, your big-guy image might crumble away!"
" 'Big-guy image?' " he looked down at himself, all 7 feet, 5 inches of it, then back at her. Holding out his other arm, he spread his fingers wide and watched her face as the steel spread from the tips of his fingers to his elbow. Unlike what he'd expected-although what he had expected in the first place, he wasn't sure- he saw awe and curiosity race across her features. Her free hand lifted, like she wanted to reach out, but she hesitated. He felt disappointment-of what, he wasn't sure again-tinge through him before she spoke.
"Can I touch it?" she asked, looking innocent and lovely, like a little girl. The regret he'd felt vanished as the notion that she would respect him enough to ask first, rather than cause him distress, amazed him. The smile played at his lips again as he nodded. Piotr watched as she bent her head and studied him carefully, running both hands now along his arms as he lifted the other up and let the steel play along his forearms, palms loose and muscles relaxed. He heard a small, "wow" and tamped down the urge to chuckle. She was like a little girl, exploring something new and exciting. Piotr felt her fingertips brush against the metal, noticed that her fingers didn't feel that much warmer, that she compared her small hands to his much, much larger ones, his fingers, the way she couldn't budge the flesh of his palm around when it was steely, the way the veins and tendons stood out, just like when his skin was normal. She tilted her head, following one vein that was large in particular, all the way from his elbow to his wrist, then she turned his arms over and started investigating that side. He couldn't help it, a chuckle escaped and she looked up, surprised. A blush crept over her face as she finally noticed how enraptured she'd been over his arms. Taking her hands back, she stuffed them in her pockets and brushed the ground lightly with her shoe. This was enough to make him laugh at her shy, self-conscious stance. Looking up, she saw his face and smiled, too.
"Come on," he said, and led her into the forest, where he let her lead. "I've never been in here," he murmured, looking up at the way the leaves let the sun dance through in always moving patches. She followed his gaze and smiled.
"It was one of the first places I explored when I came here. Especially after the accident with Logan that one night. People sort of…"
"Treated you different. They were wrong to, Marie." His eyes glanced down at her and noticed she was taking in that notion, nodding slightly.
"I guess, but I didn't exactly have you telling me that then, did I?" she teased, nudging him with her elbow.
He smiled and nudged her back, making her laugh. "You know, thus is the most normal I've felt in a while! Before I always had to make sure I never came in contact with anyone, and that doesn't seem like a big thing, but-"
"I understand," he whispered, and as she looked up at him she saw the sadness the echoed hers. "Always having to be careful not to hurt someone or accidentally bump into them." His head, which she noticed not for the first time was so far above hers, turn and his quiet blue eyes met hers. In them she saw the same want to be held like any other person. That look, along with the feelings she still felt, even though she could touch people now, overrode her normal barriers and she turned to him, wrapping her arms around him.
"I'm sorry, Piotr."
Piotr was stunned by her actions. She was never like this. 'Or maybe she is, but wasn't able to because of her gift.' The knowledge spread through him, and judging by her actions now, he guessed he was right. She was just like him, just like every other person. Nobody's made to be alone. Everybody needs affection, even holding hands or a hug. The image of her being completely alone saddened him, and he wrapped his arms around her as well, lifting her up so he could.
Marie felt the loss of the ground beneath her and raised her head, looking down. "Whoa!" The forest floor seemed to be a very, very long ways down. Looking back at him, she was able to notice things up close, like how long his lashes were, how his eyes weren't stuck between colors, they were mixed, swirling pools of ice and tropical springs, amazing. Somehow, she didn't think he'd take that sort of compliment well... "Does everything look so small to you? From up here that pinecone looks like a pebble, and it has to be as big as my fist!" She figured joking was better than saying his eyes were pretty.
A grin spread across his face. "Well, you are rather tiny," he joked, and took the back of her sweatshirt in his fist so that he could draw her away, squealing and kicking, holding her with one arm easily.
"Ah, put me down! Or pick me up again, whichever!" Marie was clutching his arm with both hands as an attempt to hold herself closer to him. However, she was laughing, showing him she was thrilled, not scared. A deep laugh rumbled through him as he slowly lowered her to the ground. Once he let her go she sat with a thud on the ground, craning her neck to mock-glare up at him. "Oh, that was evil!"
The laugh deepened and became richer as he put his hands on his hips and loomed over her. "You weren't scared, though. You never said you liked heights."
She shook her head. "Normally I don't. I'm usually terrified of them, ever since this," she explained, twirling a lock of white hair meaningfully. "But I knew you wouldn't drop me. If you can throw Logan, you can hold me up easily." She grinned up at him. Shaking his head at her logic-twisted though it might be-and held his hand down. Reacting automatically, she looked at his bare skin fearfully, and he understood it was just a leftover reaction that wasn't ready to go away yet. Then reality set in and she tentatively reached up, letting him pull her smoothly to her feet.
"I understand you, Marie," he said very gently, his gaze locking with hers. "People aren't supposed to be alone. Everybody wants to be loved, even mutants like us, with gifts that could easily be used to harm. Even we need to be hugged, to hold hands, even to kiss." His gaze dropped to her lips for a second so slight that she thought she imagined it. Then it was on her eyes again, holding them captured. "Nobody should be alone."
As the memories behind his words hit her, tears stung her eyes. He knew exactly what it felt like. How could he not? Being 7 feet 5 inches tall, turning into steel, never talking much- he hid the fact that he was lonely by seeking more solitude, by being there for other people when they needed him. But he was completely alone. 'Not anymore,' she thought, and wrapped her arms around him again.
Piotr was stunned as she held him close again and buried her face against his shirt. He was even more shocked when she started crying. She knew what he hadn't said, then. That he had been just as isolated as her, craved being held like this just as much. Bending down, he scooped her up and sat down with her in his lap, holding her close while she cried against his neck, holding him tightly with her arms around him. He stroked her back, rocking gently until the sobs became sniffles. Shifting, he grabbed a large white square of cloth out of his back pocket and pressed it against her nose, startling a watery laugh from her. "Blow," he instructed, just like his mother had when he was little. She hiccuped, giggled, and blew. He handed her the hankie and let her do it by herself, so she wouldn't suffocate. "Better now?" She looked confused. "Now that all that is over?" Still confusion. He sighed and tried again. "Ate you feeling better now that you cried and the weight is off your heart?"
She laughed, nodding. "I believe the term is 'weight off your chest,' Piotr."
He made a noticeable look down at her chest and then looked at her eyes again. "You happen to be a girl. If I said that I would be very rude." She laughed, making him smile. In this position she was almost level with him, so she shifted so that her knees were underneath her, giving her the little extra boost so she was eye to eye with him.
"Why don't you smile a lot, Piotr?" she asked softly, watching his features carefully.
He shrugged. "No real reason. Just not a lot of times when something encouraged me to."
She nodded, mulling his over. "Then I'm glad I look funny enough to make you smile, then." She grinned, puffing out her cheeks and crossing her eyes. He laughed, making his face steel and expanding his own cheeks. The absurd sight made Marie shake with laughter and for the first time they were able to do what neither had before: be silly, and share a rare, treasured moment of friendship.
When neither could breathe and tears were streaking down Marie's face, she finally deflated completely and leaned against him, tucking her head under his chin in a friendly way. Piotr's arms slowly wrapped around her and they just sat like that for a time, talking quietly, enjoying a comfort that wasn't easily won for people like them. Marie wondered how she'd never realized he was sweet and kind and gentle and caring; Piotr wondered how Iceman could ever have let someone like her go for another person.
Marie was laughing again, teaching Piotr to do the drunken monkey walk in the deserted hallway. Every time someone would come out of a doorway they'd stop, only to look at each other and laugh when the person was gone. Marie found out that even though he was enormous, he was light on his feet, really quiet and somehow graceful, in a masculine way, of course, she added when she pointed this out. He still blushed and shook his head, making her laugh again.
As they reached her door he opened it and let her in first, but he made no move to enter. She smiled at his gentlemanly ways and walked back to him. Now her smile was shy. "Thank you, Piotr."
He looked puzzled. "For what?"
"For everything. For coming to check on me, for walking with me, for letting me cry all over you, for understanding-" He cut her off with a finger over her lips.
"Anytime you need someone, Marie." With those few, soft words he nodded and bid her goodnight, closing her door gently. Leaving her to wonder why, if her powers were gone, her lips were tingling still.