Pizza with the Reikai Tantei

"Kurama, there's some girl here to see you," the ogre reported. Hiei felt a pang, thinking, A girl to see my fox…what does she want? Kurama walked out, and Hiei felt his chest grow tight. Damn fox, single, was he? He'd show him. Or not, he thought stupidly, as Kurama walked back in with something sitting on his shoulders, and two boys following him, both being about fourteen, looking like they'd rather be in hell than here.

The thing on his shoulders, which happened to be a little girl, slid down to the ground and stared at the floor. She only lifted her head when Keiko cried, "Oh, my… goodness!"

That was an understatement, Hiei thought, surprised. He recognized the poor, abused waif clutching the kitsune's knees for dear life.

"Kurama, who's this adorable little girl?" Botan exclaimed. The poor child, maybe five or six, was covered in bruises. Her hair and face were dirty, and her pink shirt and purple overalls were torn. Yusuke and the others stared at her. She looked just like Kurama! Her red hair, almost the same shade as his, was tied off into two braids, woven with green ribbons. Her eyes were the same huge emerald eyes as Kurama's.

She sniffled, then sighed in annoyance and looked around. Kurama handed her a box of tissues, and she blew her nose and used spit to clean her face. While she did all this, Kurama watched the two human boys cowering in fear.

"Now listen, Minamino, this was her fault. She was beating up our little brothers, and we tried to get her to stop, but-"

"She just wouldn't quit, and so, we had to use… had to… use… force, I mean… um…"

"See, we were nice… and we tried… talking… but she wouldn't listen, so we had to… uh…" The Spirit Detectives backed away as Kurama clenched his fists so hard his knuckles turned white. He face was hard, and his anger was all too apparent. Rage pounded through him with every beat of his heart. Those bastards… those filthy, disgusting, human bastards! He struggled to keep his voice even.

"You sons of bitches beat up a seven year old child, a helpless little girl, because she was defending a friend of hers from those two fucked up individuals you call brothers! If you ever, ever touch my sister again, Hell will freeze over before my wrath diminishes in the slightest. Your lives will be forfeit. Now get out before I kill you. Go crawl under a mountain and rot."

The two teenagers scampered away, tripping over each other in their haste. Everyone stared at Kurama in fear save the girl, who wrapped her arms around his knees and hugged him.

"S'okay, Kama, m'okay."

"No. No, you are not. I will kill them if they do this to you again." He sighed, his expression softening as the girl rubbed her face against his knees, murmuring, "Kama" in adoration.

"Uh, Kurama-" Yusuke began.

"Kitsune no baka, who is this?" Hiei asked, gesturing to the girl. He already knew, but it was the kind of question the others would expect him to ask.

Megumi jumped at the sound of his voice, and stared at Hiei for the longest moment. He tried reading her thoughts, and immediately felt like the scum of the earth when he heard, Why didn't he save me? He's my guardian angel, why didn't he help me? Her face crumpled, her eyes filling with tears.

"Hey, Shrimp, cut it out! You're scaring her!"

"Be silent, fool," Hiei snapped, then whispered in Megumi's mind, 'Foxling, please... I was not aware that you were in danger. Little one, I... please, do not be vexed with me. I am so sorry.' Megumi wiped her tears away before rushing over and hugging him, too. Hiei awkwardly patted the girl's back and murmured, "Thank you, Foxling."

"Angel." Hiei blushed bright red. Kurama tried not to laugh. Yusuke and the others stared at the trio in confusion. Angel? "My angel," the little girl cooed in adoration. O-kay, right… Hiei, an angel… sure….

"Kurama? Who's this?" Kuwabara asked, blinking in a dazed kinda way.

"This is my younger sister, Megumi. Bad day at school, darling?" The girl nodded and attempted to brush her hair out of her face. She winced as a sore arm refused to move. "Defending Miyu from the boys again?" She nodded, looking guilty. Kurama sighed and lifted her into his arms. Gently bouncing her, he murmured, "Maybe we shouldn't have let you skip all those grades. I'll talk to Mother about putting you back in the first grade-"

"NO! Kama, I likes bein' a fif gradew! Da work's all fun, an I'm not bored no mores."

"Anymore," he corrected absently. "But, Meg, the other kids are so much bigger than you. You've come home with bruises, broken bones, and rope burns. I am not letting this continue." At her pleading look, he changed the subject. "What did Jerome hit you with this time?"

"Baseball bat."

"And Ryoshi?"

"Lunchbox."

"What about Kevin?"

"Math book."

"Did they tie you up this time?" She showed him her wrist, which had impressions from rubber bands. "Did they get in trouble?"

"No. They tol' Miss Cook I did it, an they was defennin' demsells."

"Those three are ten god damn fucking years old! Defending themselves, huh?" She nodded sorrowfully. "I'm gonna have some things to say to their parents. Bunch of bastards."

"Ya know dat's two bucks, right?" The fox sighed and handed her two, one dollar bills. When Megumi spoke again, she used her adult voice. "And you know that nothing you say will make any difference. I'm still going to be in trouble. I'm a bad kid."

"No, you are not. Don't think that."

"Not my thoughts. Theirs. You know, Kama. 'Civil blood makes civil hands unclean.' Their 'blood,' my 'hands.' You know, Kama. 'Civil blood makes civil hands unclean.' Shakespeare said it." The fox demon sighed, kissing the top of her head. He didn't know what to say to her.

"Megumi, you want to come with me and my friends? We could get some ice cream, some pizza."

"Oh, really? You bet your sweet lunch money!"

Megumi squeaked and ducked behind Kurama. "Kama, it's them."

"Where?"

"Over there, by the mirror."

"Don't worry, kid, they'd be crazy to mess with ya with us around." Kuwabara said. "I, the mighty Kazuma Kuwabara, shall protect you." Megumi laughed and slipped her other hand into Kuwabara's. He smiled at her. "Hey, do you like cats?"

"Oh, yes, whole lots. They're real smart, huh?"

"Yep. Smarter than dogs. Do you have a cat?"

"Hm-hm, lots. I take care of 'em at da park, and Kama and me talked wif da pound, to leave 'em alone if dey have red and gween collars."

"Red and green, huh? Which kitty's your favorite?"

"Um… Rosy… no, Fluffy… huh. I prawlly hafta stand on my head ta find out. Ooh! I knows. I absitively, posolutely adore Mister Cozgrove! Do you haffa kitty?"

"Yeah. She's my second favorite person."

"Who's your mostest?"

"My girlfriend, Yukina." Megumi looked over at the Ice Apparition, nodded her approval.

"One day, when I grow up, I'm gonna be juss as bootiful as Yukina, and Botan, and Keiko. Then, I'll find me a nice superhero, get married, and we'll be spies for Russia! And every week or so, I'll say, 'Husband, I wanna save da world.' And he'll sigh and say, 'Again? Precious, it's old.' Then I'll pout and he'll agree and we'll go off on a mission. Yeah." Kurama lifted her up and set her in her chair. She was too short to reach it on her own. The others sat too.

"So, Megumi. You're in the fifth grade?" Keiko asked.

"Yeah. It's boring in maff and English, and science, too, but da school board won't let me skip no more. I'm sposa be in nine, but da school don't see it Mommy's way."

"So, you know all the way up to ninth? What's a megaparsec?"

"Keiko, she's not gonna know that. Give her something easy, like 24 divided by 8. Which is, um…"

"Three."

"Thanks. Whoa, wait a sec… okay, this is something I can't do. If you have the binomial x plus 4, multiplied by x minus four, what's the answer, and what does x equal?"

"X equals negative 4 and positive four. The binomials multiply out to be x squared minus sixteen."

"Is that right, Keiko?"

"Yes," the girl murmured in shock, "yes, it is. Okay, what is the factorization of x squared minus x minus twelve?"

"X minus 4 times x plus 3. X equals negative three and positive four."

"Jeez. Okay, science, then-"

"No, Keiko, we're about to eat."

"Yusuke, shut up. Okay, science. Well… geography, really. What sea on earth cannot sustain life?"

"The Dead Sea, in Jordan."

"Where are the Hanging Gardens of Babylon?"

"Iraq, I think."

"Okay, real science. What does the word arthropod mean, and what arthropod has five pairs of walking legs?"

"Many footed, and crustaceans."

"What are the three colors of light, and what is the difference between black and white when talking about light, and talking about pigments?"

"Red, green, and blue. Black is the absence of all light, or when you combine all pigment. White is the absence of all pigment, or when you combine all light."

"Kami, she's good. What's the nerve in your eye called?"

"Retina... I think. No, optic nerve."

"What's an aphid?"

"A nasty little bug that lives in the hearts of roses."

"Um… let's do English. What's a simile, metaphor, and an allegory?"

"Simile is when you compare two different things, using like or as, and a metaphor is when you say something is something, when it obviously isn't, like… kittens are soft, fluffy pillows. An allegory is where you take an event or idea and explain or display it using animals, such as the book Animal Farm. I read that book. Kinda creepy."

"I'm leaving this alone for now. Oh, one last thing. This is a trick question, but it does kinda have an answer. What is the question that has no answer?"

"What is truth? That question has no answer."

"Jeez, she's good! Kurama, your sister's practically a genius. How old are you?"

"Six."

"Spell difficulty."

"Um… let me see a sec… D-I-F-F-I… ooh… C-U-L-T…Y. Difficulty."

"Okay, you can have your pizza… whatcha readin'?"

"Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. I've got 15 pages left." Kurama exclaimed, "But… you only got that yesterday! And it has 870 pages!"

"And soon I'll be done. Shh, I'm reading!"