Chapter 3

The digital clock on the young boy's nightstand read 2:49 a.m. A man, exhausted, stood watching over the boy as he slept. Watching the boy was relaxing – peaceful. Two feelings this man did not come across very often anymore. He sat gently on the bed next to the boy – his boy. It had been months since he had been home. How did he grow so much in a few months? How did both of them?

In a low voice he began his confession. "I made a promise to you Chris. When you were 8 hours old, I promised you that I would protect you and your brother. That I would sacrifice myself so you and your mom and brother could have a good life – the life you each deserve." He wanted to reach out and hold his son but didn't want him to wake. "I'm sorry I'm not around a lot Chris – I'm sorry I am missing so much. I failed you once. I can't fail you again."

"You never failed him Leo."

Leo turned to the door, his wife of fourteen – or was it fifteen? – years stood in the doorway. She moved into the room, "You never failed any of us. You've protected us, cared for us and loved us. We never doubted your love – I never doubted your love." She was at his side now, her hand on his shoulder, her long hair curling and twisting like a flowing river down her back. "We have missed you though."

Inwardly, Leo sighed, he did not deserve her – he did not deserve the boys, but oh, how he missed them. Day after day he wished, dreamt, about being with his family – enjoying his wife and sons instead of hunting evil. For ten years the smells of blood and brimstone had stained his nostrils and his brain. But he was keeping his promise – he would not fail Chris again.

"Let's not wake them. Come on," Piper said as she pulled Leo up gently by the hand and led him out of their sons' room and across the hall into theirs.

Leo shut the door behind them. In the warm light of their bedroom Piper could see the fatigue in her husband's eyes. Those wonderful green eyes. Once they had been full of life, love and happiness, but after so many years of fighting evil, the light had faded and there was a dull longing in them now. His hair had grown long and was matted with dirt and sweat, a full beard covered the bottom half of his face.

"I knew you would come tonight. I'll get your shower ready," Piper said, going into the adjoining bathroom. She was careful to dim the lights knowing her husband's eyes couldn't take the strain after being in darkness for so long.

Leo just nodded and proceeded to undress for the shower. He knew Piper would throw out his clothes – they had been worn for months straight – so he did not bother to put them in the laundry hamper.

He walked into the bathroom where Piper was drawing his shower. Her back was to him as she tested the water temperature. "Where you waiting up for me?" Leo asked softly, his voice hoarse from the dryness of brimstone.

Piper turned and looked directly into his dull eyes – the emptiness had begun to frighten her. He was not the man she had fallen in love with, but she still loved him with everything in her being. She nodded, "Yes. And your shower is ready."

As he climbed in the shower, Piper made a move to leave and give him some privacy. He couldn't let her leave – her presence was healing. It restored his courage, his desire for life. He gently grabbed her wrist, "Don't go." Leo pleaded, "Please."

Nodding shyly, Piper tugged at the ties of her dressing gown. The satiny material slid to the floor without a sound as Leo pulled her into the shower with him. She remembered other times, happier times, when they had showered together in this very bathroom.

He wanted solace. The hot water steamed the shower and rolled down his skin, soothing his over-worked muscles. She reached behind him for the soap and washcloth and silently began to scrub away the dirt and brimstone. Tomorrow, she thought to herself, she would cut his hair.

Leo could feel the dirt being washed away from his body, the stink of brimstone slowly left his hair and pores – if only the stain on his soul could be washed away so easily. He didn't know exactly when it happened – no, that wasn't true, Leo knew when it happened. It was the first time he had gone to the Underworld to hunt and destroy. It was only a small dot then, perhaps the size of a grain of sand. He thought he would be able to control it - but it had grown, and now the stain threatened to steal away his hope – it was only the love for his wife and sons that fought the darkness back.

He marveled at the smallness of her frame – had she lost more weight? He leaned his head back into the water. Her body, now pressed against his as she rinsed shampoo out of his hair felt foreign to him and he longed to trace and memorize its new curves. He wondered how she would react if he kissed her.

Leo waited for a moment to gather the remaining flecks of courage he had. His hand was hesitant, but he reached out anyways and held her cheek in his hand. Piper smiled, her cinnamon eyes understanding his desire. After all, she knew all about desire. The desire for a normal life, the desire for a complete family, the desire to fall asleep next to her husband each night, the desire for her husband's touch.

In that first brush of the lips, Leo's hunger for life rose from hidden depths inside him and he was overwhelmed with passion. It was a feeling he had not experienced for a long time and he reveled in tingling sensation it left as it moved from his toes to his head. The rush of love shocked the hatred that clung to his heart and made him lightheaded. He spun Piper around and put her directly under the stream of water, one hand buried in her thick hair, the other around her waist, pulling her closer to him. He tried to be mindful of his beard, knowing that it would scratch and chafe, but Piper didn't seem to care – her lips, her body, was just as hungry as his.

Husband and wife were lying side by side in bed. She was on her back, arms wrapped around his broad shoulders. He was on his side, his head resting between her collar bone and neck. Under the covers their legs looked something like a New York Pretzel.

"When are you going to come home for good?" Piper asked her husband, beginning the conversation they had every time he came home.

Leo sighed, he hated being apart from his family. He hated the Underworld. He hated the demons who threatened his family. Mostly, however, he hated himself.

She brushed her fingers lightly back and forth across his shoulder blades, "The boys talk about you all the time, you know. Everyday they ask about you and when you'll be home. They miss their father. They need you Leo – I need you. I know that you feel responsible for Chris' death, but there was nothing you could have done Leo – nothing. You need to confront your pain and release it."

There was no answer but silence to Piper's plea, she was desperate to reach him. For years he had been separated from her – not just physically, but mentally. In the early years of their marriage there had been a wavelength they shared – tuned to each other's thoughts and hearts – even during their separation Piper had still been able to read his heart – and Piper knew, he had been able to see into hers. But just moments earlier she had felt a faint glimmer of their old connection and it gave Piper hope – hope that Leo was ready to come home.

"Leo – you're running away from your pain. You've run away from it for ten years. Please, stop running. Come home." Silent tears were running down Piper's face. Leo watched as they fell from her cheeks to the bed sheets.

Leo was silent as he contemplated Piper's words – he had promised Chris he would take care of him, protect him – and for the first time in ten years, he doubted the way he was fulfilling that promise. He was so tired – of the pain, of the blood, of the Underworld, of the heat – of everything. He was running – running away from the man he had become. He hated himself. Hated that he had wasted so many years when he could have been with his wife and sons – watching them grow. He wanted his family again, but he didn't know how to join them. "I – I want to Piper – I want to more than you know. But I don't know how. The pain makes me hate, it grips me. I have so many sins, so much blood on my hands, I don't know how to forgive myself. I don't know how you can love a murderer." Leo pleaded to his wife, his dull eyes lit with fear and unshed tears, "That day haunts me, lives inside me and I'm – I – I want to tear it out. I want to rip myself open and pull that day out of my brain. I want rip out the hate and the anger and the fear. But they're all I know now. Help me, Piper. Help me come home."

Piper drew her husband closer to her as the tears he had held back for ten years spilled on their bed sheets. He had been her pillar of strength, her comfort. Now, it was time for her to be strong. For her to guide him.

"Shhhh….," Piper said, calming him as she did Chris and Wyatt when they woke from nightmares. "Everything is going to be okay. I promise you. You're home now, we'll take care of you."

Light filtered in through the curtains of Piper and Leo's bedroom, waking Piper. She hadn't gotten much sleep, she had lost track of time during the first few hours of the morning as she had comforted Leo. Though different from the man she had first fell in love with and married, her heart was still dedicated to him – perhaps even more now. They would vanquish his demons together.

She knew Chris and Wyatt would be up soon and expecting breakfast. She longed to pull the covers over Leo and herself and shut out the rest of the world, but instead, she slipped out from under Leo's strong arm and their bed sheets. She would let him sleep, he needed it.

With as little noise as possible, Piper pulled on a lavender ribbed turtleneck and light brown suede pants. Instead of the usual high-heeled boots, Piper grabbed her favorite pair of slippers. She was pulling her hair back into the usual chignon as she left their room.

Paige and Will were already in the kitchen. Will with a cup of coffee, Paige with a glass of iced tea – her new drink of choice – and the Sunday paper spread out on the kitchen table. Perry, Piper assumed, was probably still asleep, something that was considered a minor miracle in the household. The boy had too much energy for everyone else's good.

"Good morning!" Paige greeted Piper as she walked into the kitchen.

Piper smiled at her sister and brother-in-law. Paige and Will had been married for what, six years now? They had bumped into each other at an herbal shop in Chinatown. Both had been reaching for the last bag of dried woodear. After what Paige said was a good thirty minutes of the "no-you-have-it" game, they decided to split the bag – and exchange phone numbers. On their third date both accidentally revealed that they were witches. Will was from a long line of conjurers. They were married in a hand-fasting ceremony similar to Piper and Leo's. Perry arrived about three years later. He had his mother's bubbly personality and zest for life, along with her whitelighter skills. Will had passed onto Perry his hazel eyes and black hair, along with the ability to conjure.

"Morning guys – any coffee in that pot for me Will?" Piper asked, headed to the kitchen table with a mug in hand. However, before she was able to reach it, Will had snatched the pot away.

"There's coffee in here, but I can't guarantee that it's for you – unless of course you're planning on making raisin-date-nut pancakes with some sausage, home fries and, for good measure, some bacon," Will teased.

"Just pour me a cup, would you?" Piper asked, handing Will her mug. "I had a rough night – Leo came home early this morning–."

"Leo came home?" Paige interrupted, looking up from the lifestyle section of the paper, "Is he okay?" Her brown eyes were sparked with concern for her brother-in-law. "Do the boys know he's here?"

"He's exhausted," Piper answered after taking a sip of the coffee Will had poured for her. "I'm going to let him sleep for as long as he needs. The boys don't know yet. Once they come down for breakfast I'll let them know." Putting her coffee mug down on the island, Piper turned to the refrigerator and dug behind the leftovers from yesterday for the pancake batter she had mixed up the day before, as well as the rest of breakfast's ingredients.

"Do you know how long he's staying?" Paige asked, sharing a look with her husband.

Piper answered after pulling herself out of the refrigerator, "I think," she began carefully, trying not to let too much excitement in her voice, "That he's going to be staying with us for a long time. I think he's coming home Paige."

Before Paige had a chance to respond, a small, slightly sleepy voice was heard from the door of the kitchen, "Who's coming home Mom?"

Piper turned in the direction of the voice and found her youngest son, still in his pajamas with his brother's birthday present tucked under one arm. She put down the food she was holding onto and approached her son. "Someone very special Chris – your daddy." She answered softly, bending down on one knee to look him in the eyes.

Chris' eyes immediately lit up, the Sandman's last bit of dust vanquished. "That's what I wished for mom! Yesterday at my party, when you told me to make a wish, I wished for dad to come and stay. Is he really going to stay this time?"

Piper smiled, "He really is."

"Cool! When's dad coming? Is he going to be in time for breakfast? Can I show him all the presents I got yesterday? Is he going to come sailing with me and Wyatt and Grandpa today? Does Wyatt know he's coming? Should I –."

"Honey," Piper interrupted the barrage of Chris' questions with a soft, firm voice. "Your daddy's up in our room sleeping right now. He got home really, really late last night and he's really, really tired. I'm not sure if he's going to get up in time for breakfast or have energy to go sailing today. But I know he'll have dinner with us and I know he'll want to see what you got for your birthday. Do you think you could go upstairs and get your brother up without waking your dad?"

Chris beamed, "Sure thing mom!" And he was off, his bare feet thumping against the hardwood and up the stairs leaving his mom, aunt and uncle to prepare breakfast.