NOTE: Rewritten 26.2.2014 There are some major changes.

Warning: hint of a rape, swearing

Chapter 3: How do you separate love from hate?

"Ciel", Alois said gently and rubbed a strand of hair behind Ciel's ear and kissed his cheek lovingly. "Your eyes are so beautiful, like the sky."

Ciel looked at the blue sky. His head rested on his lover's lap as the slender digits played with his navy-blue hair. A soft breeze tickled his cheek and Ciel closed his eyes, enjoying the moment.

Ciel smiled and moved closer to the man. It was warm and comfortable. In this time and place, he didn't want to think of anything, just be and feel the loving feeling that would never break. Alois' light blue eyes were filled with lust and attraction, filled with emotions towards Ciel. It had only been two months since they started going out and it already felt like they would be together forever.

"I want to make love to you", Alois whispered to Ciel's ear and made him blush slightly. "You look stunning."

"So do you", Ciel smiled and kissed the man lovingly. He wrapped his arms around Alois' neck and pulled him closer as Alois moved them to a better position. The kiss was slow; their tongues explored each other's mouth, Alois' hands gently moving up and down Ciel's body. Ciel moaned and moved his body closer to Alois, the urge to fell the man growing quickly.

"Let's go", Alois said and kissed Ciel one last time before he lifted the boy gently from the grass.

"Where to?" Ciel asked. He didn't want to stop yet.

"Don't look so disappointed", Alois smiled and kissed Ciel again. "We'll just move to somewhere we can be in private."

Alois bit Ciel's earlobe and the boy shuddered. He leaned in closer to get more but the warmth was gone way too soon.

"Be patient my love", Alois snickered, wrapped his hand around Ciel's shoulder and guided him to a better place.

Quickly they reached a hotel and Alois paid for a room. They walked to the elevator, Ciel already impatient. He wanted to touch the man so badly. As soon as the doors closed, he threw himself to Alois' lap and started to fondle his member through the clothing. Alois hissed and did the same to Ciel. They panted, kissed each other, touching each other all over. It felt like eternity but the elevator finally stopped and they were able to go to the room. The door hadn't even closed properly when Alois pushed Ciel to the bed and stripped his shirt off.

"Lie down", Alois' voice was deep from the lust and his eyes locked to Ciel's. The boy and Alois tied Ciel's hand to the headboard with his tie. Ciel threw him a questioning look but Alois brushed off with a kiss.

"Tonight we'll do it slow", he whispered and bit Ciel's neck, sucking and nibbling it. Alois' white locks spread across Ciel's skin and the boy could smell the vanilla shampoo the man used. He took a deep breath and sighted in pleasure. Alois moved down his bare abdomen and stopped to a perked nipple to lick it gently. Ciel let out a loud moan and arched his back. The heat was growing inside him every second and he just wanted to feel the man.

Ciel tugged the tie around his hands and found that the knot around his hands was secure. He groaned in frustration when he couldn't touch his lover but Alois only laughed sweetly in response. Alois kept nibbling Ciel's perked nipples and moved his hand to his legs, caressing him through the clothes. Ciel always wondered how Alois managed to find all the places that would make him shiver in pleasure. When Alois rose off the bed, the tingling sensation lingered behind. Ciel threw his lover a questioning look.

"Where are you going?"

"Don't worry my love, I'll be right back", Alois smiled and disappeared out the room. Ciel was stunned, aroused and annoyed as he waited his boyfriend to come back. It had felt nice to be tied up at first but now that he wanted to move and touch himself, it only made him angry. And strangely aroused. Ciel didn't know how long he lied there, his pants incredibly tight, his hips bucking upwards, trying desperately to get some friction to his hot member. When he heard the front door open, he let out a relieved sigh.

"Alois! That was mean of you-", Ciel's eyes widened in horror when the person entering the room wasn't his boyfriend but a strange man, his body muscular and his eyes dark with lust. Ciel tried to move his body, get away from the man as he walked closer to the struggling boy in slow movements, his eyes locked to Ciel's naked parts. When he reached the bedside, Ciel moved his body and tried to kick him.

"Get off me you bastard!" Ciel yelled but the man only smirked. He said nothing when he grabbed Ciel's left foot and tied it to the frame. Ciel kept kicking with his other foot but the man either didn't notice or just didn't care. When the man calmly straddled Ciel's legs and pushed his crotch against Ciel's, the boy let out a terrified gasp. What was happening? Where was Alois?

The man started to nibble Ciel's nipples, doing the exactly same thing that Alois had done just a couple of minutes before, only this time Ciel didn't feel any pleasure. The man seemed to notice Ciel's lack of excitement and rose off the boy. Ciel let out a relived sight a she though it was over. It wasn't.

The man soon came back with a large bag. Ciel could see series of vibrators and clips in it and his eyes widened in horror as the man pulled something out. It was a bottle of liquid, Ciel didn't' want to know more and turned his head to the side. Immediately when his head was turned, he felt a sting in his arm and yelped in surprise. Ciel watched in horror at the needle that rested on the smirking man's hand and then looked at his arm where a small drop of blood lied.

Ciel couldn't think any further as a strange flush of pleasure spread over his body. He let out a gasp and bucked his hips to the air. What was this? The waves of pleasure got stronger every second and made his mind go hazy. He was scared. This wasn't like him. So why did he feel this way?

The man moved again on top of him and Ciel tried to kick him with his free leg, only to notice it wasn't moving according to his will anymore. The man leaned in and licked his nipple the same time he had done before, only this time Ciel let out a loud yelp when the pleasure increased. Flashes of white light appeared behind his eyes and Ciel could only scream and moan when the man continued to touch him. At this point Ciel didn't know anymore where he was, he didn't know who was with him, he couldn't even remember who he was. The only thing he could feel was the immense pleasure that increased inside him.

Suddenly the touching stopped and Ciel found the power to open his eyes. It was hazy, he couldn't focus properly but he recognized the white hair just a few inches away from him.

"A-alois", Ciel whispered his voice already hoarse and he tried to move his head towards the man.

"You disgusting scum", Alois said with a low voice. The reaction he got from his lover made heart ache in pain.

"Alois, please, make it stop", Ciel said and a small tear fell from his eyes.

"You deserve this", Alois said and took a chair next to Ciel. He looked at Ciel with intense eyes and nodded. The man undid Ciel's pants and started to fondle his hard member. Ciel couldn't hold back the moans.

"A-ah- Alois. P-pl-se" Ciel pleaded but the man just looked at him, not saying a word, his light blue eyes cold and loveless.

"You are a whore", Alois said and the man suddenly entered Ciel, the boy screamed, not sure if it was the pain of pleasure. It was all too much. He didn't want to feel anything. His body betrayed him. His mind betrayed him. But what hurt the most was that he was betrayed by the only one he loved.

Ciel startled awake from his sleep. He blinked rapidly and tried to keep the tears at bay. His dream had been more like a memory, a memory he so desperately wanted to forget. It had been three years since the event but it still made his heart ache in pain. Ciel hugged his legs, pressed his head down, and focused to calm down. Unfortunately, he had no time to do that when heavy steps came running towards him.

"You damned cat!" Sebastian yelled. "You come right back here!"

Ciel rose his eyebrow when Sebastian ran to the room, chasing a black cat. The cat had something white hanging from its mouth and it ran like a wind. It made quick turns and tried to dodge Sebastian's hands that tried to grab it. Then it made a serious mistake and tried to sneak through Sebastian's legs, that was when the man grabbed the black creature to his firm grip.

"Now I got you", he cheered as he carried the black cat towards the open door where they had come from. When he glanced at Ciel's direction and saw that the boy was up, a huge smile appeared to his face.

"Good morning!" Sebastian smiled and walked to Ciel. "Did you sleep well? I hope we didn't wake you up."

"You did", Ciel said and turned his eyes away.

"Yeah, sorry about that. I blame it fully on Ace", Sebastian said.

"Ace?" Ciel asked and Sebastian lifted the cat that tried to bit his fingers.

"This guy here is a real pain in the ass", Sebastian said but it didn't sound like he really was angry at the cat. "Just now he destroyed one of my favorite books."

"I'm sure he had a good reason", Ciel laughed but stopped when Sebastian's face turned serious.

"A good reason indeed."

"Which was…?"

"Jealousy."

Ciel snorted and looked at the cat.

"Jealousy? A cat being jealous? You must be joking!"

"No, he was very jealous", Sebastian said.

"Yeah? Because?"

"Because of you", Sebastian turned his red eyes to Ciel whose mouth dropped open. Ciel glanced at the cat, a pair of yellow eyes stared at him as his ears were low against his head.

"W-why would it be jealous because of me?"

"He's thinking you'd take me away."

"Like that could ever happen", Ciel blushed and turned his eyes away. Sebastian smiled sweetly at him before he put the cat back to the floor. He let out an angry meow but didn't leave. Instead, he circled Sebastian's legs for a moment before he started to wash himself.

"So, you have a cat?" Ciel asked and looked around the neat apartment. Everything was clean; no scratching marks anywhere or any other clue that a cat was living there.

"I have three actually", Sebastian smiled. "Ace here is the one who makes all the ruckus. Queen and Jack are a lot calmer."

"How old are they?" Ciel asked.

"They have been with me for two years. I don't know their precise ages since I took them in from the streets. They were about a year old then", Sebastian said and patted the cat's head gently. "I could never give them away. They're my only joy since Claude died."

"Claude?" Ciel frowned. The name didn't sound familiar, and assuming by Sebastian's sudden sad expression, he wasn't going to hear much either.

"He's just someone I lived with", Sebastian said though Ciel could see that wasn't the whole truth. Sebastian changed to stare at a big black and white picture of London and dropped to his own thoughts. Ciel didn't know what to say. It seemed like he had opened an old wound, and he definitely knew how bad it felt. They sat in silence for a moment; Sebastian stared in front of him while Ciel examined his fingers.

"He died two and a half years ago", Sebastian said so quietly Ciel wasn't sure if he had heard right. "I miss him so much."

Sebastian stood up from the couch, walked to a shelf and took a picture of black haired male to his hands. He traced the man's outlines gently and Ciel didn't need to guess to understand just what kind of feeling flashed through his red eyes. Claude had been Sebastian's lover, Ciel was sure of it.

"You know what, I was seriously depressed after that", Sebastian said and turned to Ciel. The boy wasn't all that sure why Sebastian was telling him all this but decided to listen. "I drank almost every day, stayed up late and ignored my studies. I was seriously on the bottom."

Sebastian put the photo back down and walked to Ciel, the boy flinched when Sebastian placed his big hand to his shoulder. He looked deeply into Ciel's eye and caressed his cheek gently. Usually Ciel would have brushed the hand away immediately but something in the man's eyes made him still.

"Then, there was this one thing that made me try again. Made me care for myself again."

"W-what was it", Ciel swallowed hard and looked at Sebastian. The man smiled and continued to caress Ciel's cheek gently. Ciel could feel the warmness of the man's palm spread across his face and his heart began to thumb louder. It was a brand new feeling but Ciel didn't hate it. Though the man wasn't one he could trust, he still found his mind being filled with calmness. He felt safe, for the first time in years, truly safe.

Then Sebastian pulled away and the moment was broken. He brushed his hair and moved his eyes away from Ciel.

"A-anyway. What would you like to eat", Sebastian asked and walked to the kitchen. Ciel couldn't move for a moment. What had just happened? Sebastian had told him something personal and he was ready to let the man have his way with him? That had been close. Who knew, the story might have been fake too, just a way to lure him in. The man was much sneakier than Ciel had thought. If he wasn't careful, he might not be able to keep his distance with the man.

Ciel followed Sebastian through different kinds of expensive shops. Sebastian had demanded on buying something for Ciel as an apology of Undertaker's fraud and the boy had agreed after seeing his serious expression. Now, after two hours of running through different stores, he regretted his decision thoroughly. Quite soon, it had become clear that Sebastian had completely different way of spending money than him. At first, Sebastian wanted to buy Ciel a set of clothes, but after Ciel saw the price tag, he refused to wear them if Sebastian bought them. After thinking a moment, Sebastian offered to buy some jewel to Ciel, and since he already had earrings, they settled down for a ring.

They went to different kinds of jewelry shops and Ciel found many rings he liked but none of them seemed to please Sebastian. Ciel was already tired form all the running and was desperate to go back to the apartment, so Sebastian had promised that the shop they next entered would be the last.

"Welcome. May I help you with anything?" asked a blond-haired young woman as soon as they entered the shop. Ciel could already see that the jewelries on sale were much more expensive than the ones before.

"I'm looking for a ring", Sebastian said and Ciel noticed the seller's smile widen before he guided Sebastian to a large counter. The woman was young, about Ciel's age, and her green eyes sparkled when she looked at Sebastian. On the woman's chest read "Elisabeth"

"These are our most popular rings", Elizabeth smiled and took out a set of different kinds of golden rings. Sebastian looked at them for a while, and then shook his head.

"I want something bigger", he said and Elizabeth's smile widened.

"Right", she took another set of rings out and Sebastian examined them for a moment before he again shook his head.

"Bigger."

Ciel felt more uncomfortable every time he saw the price tags hitting higher and higher numbers. He could have never afford to anything so expensive and didn't feel comfortable for letting Sebastian buy one to him either.

"Sebastian", he whispered and tugged the man's sleeve. "Let's go."

"I want to buy the ring for you", Sebastian said and turned to Ciel, his eyes serious.

"You can buy it, but please, pick something cheaper", Ciel whispered and eyed the tags. "I could never pay you back something this expensive."

"You don't need to pay it back, it's a present", Sebastian smiled and turned back to Elizabeth who showed him another set of rings.

"But-"

"Don't look at the prize if it bothers you", Sebastian said, took a ring from Elizabeth and slid it in to Ciel's thumb.

"Wha-!" Ciel pulled his hand quickly away when Sebastian's warm hands touched his sensitive skin. "Seb-!" Ciel was about to scold the man but when he saw the ring, his breath hitched. The heavy object in his finger looked like it was made only for him. The blue rock was as deeply blue as his eye was and it sparkled nicely in the light. Ciel turned his hand from side to side and examined the rock. He couldn't believe something in this world could be so beautiful.

"We'll take it", Sebastian said and turned to Elizabeth. Ciel gasped and was about to look at the tag before Sebastian snatched it away, not letting Ciel see the price.

"I can't take it", Ciel said and started to pull the ring off but Sebastian's hand stopped him.

"It's not that expensive", Sebastian smiled. Ciel glared at him and wondered if he should accept and take the gift.

"Fine", Ciel said quietly after a moment of silence. "But I won't let you buy me anything else, ever."

Sebastian nodded though Ciel was sure that it wasn't a promise of any kind. Not that he minded though. Ciel knew that he would have never stepped to this kind of store on his own, and by that, he would have never fund this beautiful ring, which he already loved. Not that he would let Sebastian know. As they stepped out of the shop, Ciel still kept staring at the ring on his finger. A small, happy smile rose to his face for the first time in ages and he quickly hid it behind his palm.

"You like it that much?" Sebastian asked and lowered to Ciel's level, looking deeply in his eyes. "I have never seen you smile."

"I didn't smile", Ciel defended but couldn't wipe off the look on his face.

"You're cute when you smile", Sebastian said and brushed his thumb along Ciel's jaw line. "It makes me want to kiss you."

Ciel blushed heavily but didn't find the power to turn his head away. He knew he should have pushed the man away but somehow his body just wasn't moving. A knot in his stomach tightened as he stared at Sebastian's gentle eyes. Ciel felt the hot breath against his lips and smelled the minty smell of Sebastian. When the man slowly leaned in closer, Ciel's heart began to beat faster and louder, he was sure the man could hear it too. Ciel shut his eyes close and waited for the warm lips to touch his.

"You disgusting faggot!" A loud voice yelled from behind them and someone pushed Ciel roughly. He would have fallen to the ground if Sebastian's hands weren't around him. When they had gotten there, Ciel had no idea. "Get a room!"

Ciel felt Sebastian's grip tighten around his waist but the man didn't say anything, just started to guide Ciel away.

"Answer me when I'm talking to you", the man yelled, grabbed Ciel's hand and pulled him harder against his body. Ciel could smell the liquor in his breath and there was something moist on the man's shirt. The smell of sweat surrounded him and made the boy gag in disgust.

"Let go of me!" Ciel yelled and tried to push the man away but he was too strong.

The man stared at Ciel before a smirk rose to his lips.

"Wait, don't I know you?" The man ran his hands across Ciel's back. "I think I do."

"I believe you have the wrong person", Ciel spat back and tried to push the man harder.

"You are Alois' bitch right? The one who fucks everybody?" The man laughed and Ciel felt his insides turn cold. "I remember your moans; you're a real wild-cat in bed!"

Suddenly Sebastian was there and pulled Ciel away from the man. His eyes narrowed as he leaned closer to the man and whispered something Ciel couldn't hear to his ear. Whatever Sebastian said, was enough for the man to go pale and he took a few quick steps backwards before he started to run away, stumbling a bit on his unsteady feet.

"Are you okay?" Sebastian asked Ciel and touched his shoulder gently but Ciel quickly pulled away

"I'm fine", Ciel answered quietly and started to walk away from the man. He heard Sebastian sigh before his heavy steps followed him. He hadn't seen it coming. He had met one of his previous clients, when he was with Sebastian of all people. He was seriously going to hear about it once he got back to school, just something to add to the long list of why he should be burn to death. Ciel shivered when the cold feeling surrounded his insides again. It was coldness, that wouldn't go away, no matter how hard he tried to.

They walked in silence all the way to Sebastian's home and as soon as they got in, Ciel rushed to the couch and buried himself under the blankets. Sebastian walked to him and sat to the edge, making Ciel's body dip against him. Ciel enjoyed the heat for a slight moment before he pulled away.

"What's wrong?" Sebastian asked his voice calm and comforting. "Please, tell me."

"Nothing's wrong", Ciel answered and hid deeper under the blankets. "Just let me sleep."

"Ciel", Sebastian whispered and put his hand on Ciel's shoulder before the boy shook it away.

"Leave me alone", he yelled but Sebastian didn't even budge.

"Is it about the man we met?"

Ciel flinched and stayed quiet. He couldn't bear to look at Sebastian. For some reason, he felt more exposed than ever.

"You know, I don't really care about what he said", Sebastian said gently and tried to touch Ciel again but the boy pushed him away.

"Quit joking with me", Ciel spat, his voice dangerously low. "Like you don't see me as everybody else."

"What, Ciel?"

"Don't act like you don't speak badly about me behind my back too!" Ciel yelled. "To you I'm just a disgusting whore who bangs everything that moves!"

"I never said such a thing", Sebastian said calmly, the calmness only making Ciel angrier. Why did he need to be so calm! Right when Ciel himself wasn't! He felt like he only needed to vent out his frustration, let the horrible tightness in his chest get loose, and since Sebastian was the only person nearby…

"You don't need to say it, your actions speak from themselves", Ciel spat.

"Name one time when I have hurt you?" Sebastian said and Ciel swallowed before he continued.

"I don't have to say them, you know yourself!"

"Mind reminding me?" Sebastian smirked but it was brushed off by an angry glare of Ciel.

"Like you didn't know", the boy whispered.

"Seriously, I don't know", Sebastian sighted. "I can never make it up to you if you don't tell me what's wrong."

"… You're doing it again", Ciel said and Sebastian frowned. "Again with that gentle tone. Well guess what, I'm not fooled by it anymore."

"Ciel, you're not making any sense", Sebastian let out a small laugh, the biggest mistake he could have done.

"You are the worst of all!" Ciel yelled and looked at Sebastian with desperate eyes. "First you act kindly with me and the next minute you team up with Grell!"

"So this is what this is all about? Grell?" Sebastian asked and Ciel snorted. "It's about the kiss, right?"

"…"

"Ciel, seriously, it wasn't a planned action", Sebastian said and brushed his neck. "I had no idea he was there."

"Looked planned enough for me", Ciel whispered and turned his head away but Sebastian turned it gently to him again.

"Ciel, listen. There's nothing between Grell and me. I'm not teaming up with him, he's just a good friend", Sebastian explained but Ciel couldn't believe him.

"Like you would kiss your friend."

Sebastian fell silent for a moment, the realization sinking in. Ciel tried to hide the blush that seeped in to his face.

"… You were bothered by it", Sebastian said slowly and Ciel crossed his arms.

"Who wouldn't I? It's disgusting", Ciel said.

"Something tells me that isn't all there is", Sebastian leaned in closer and Ciel tried to back away. "Why were you so bothered?"

"Like I knew!" Ciel yelled and Sebastian smirked. "Just leave it be."

"Ciel-"

"LEAVE IT!" Ciel pushed Sebastian heavily to the chest and the man nearly dropped from the couch.

"Ciel-"

"Just shut up!"

"Ciel, seriously-", Sebastian tried to touch Ciel but the boy slapped him harshly away.

"Why the fuck can't you just FUCKING SHUT UP!"

"Blood."

"What?"

"There's blood coming under your eye-patch."

Ciel's eye widened in horror and he whipped his slightly wet cheek. He looked at the bloodied hand and felt his body shiver strongly. This couldn't be happening, not now. The pain shot through his eye and he doubled over, suppressing a scream that threatened to come out.

"Ciel? What's wrong?" Ciel heard Sebastian call to him but the reality was blocked away when flashes of his past appeared in front of his eyes. He saw blood. Lots and lots of blood that kept bubbling from him…

"Ciel!" Sebastian shook the boy roughly but it didn't help the boy to get back to reality. His eye swung back and forth, as he tried to see what was in front of him.

"I'm fine", Ciel whispered quietly and pressed against his eye hard. "I'm fine… I'm fine…"

"Ciel, let me take you to the bathroom", Sebastian said and Ciel didn't fight back when Sebastian guided him. The pain was increasing and Ciel knew it would become overwhelming soon. Damn, he hadn't even taken his medicine with him. The last episode was so long time ago he thought they were already over.

Sebastian helped Ciel sit on the toilet lid and rushed to wet some towels to wipe off the blood. All this action went unnoticed by Ciel as the voices inside his head loudened. Someone screamed, something shattered. It was cold, so cold he couldn't take it. It hurt so much.

"I'm fine", Ciel whispered his mantra and tried to fight against it. "It's all in the past, I'm fine. This isn't really happening."

"You should just die!"

Ciel covered his eyes when the yelling inside his head increased. He saw flashes of red, someone laughed before the stabbing pain came to his eye. Tears started to leak down his face and there was no way to keep them from dropping. He let out a cry and curled up as small as he could, hugging his legs as the pain got worse.

"Shut up", Ciel whispered and rocked his body back and forth.

"You deserve to die!"

"Shut up."

"DIE!"

"SHUT UP!" Ciel screamed and grabbed his hair. "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

"CIEL!" Rough hands shook him and Ciel's eye popped open. "Clam down."

His vision was blurry as the crying increased. He felt Sebastian press a wet, warm towel over his covered eye and sobbed. Secure hands wrapped around his body and soothed him up and Ciel found his own hands crawl up to grip the fabric on Sebastian's back. His whole body shook as he cried against the man's shoulder; Sebastian didn't ask anything, just held Ciel in his arms.

Ciel let the warmness of the man's body take over him and slightly started to relax to his touch. He heard Sebastian hum some unfamiliar song and focused to that. Little by little, the flashbacks started to fade and the yelling voice disappeared. It wasn't until the pain subdued that he let go of Sebastian and wiped his eye.

"What happened?" Sebastian asked and looked deeply on Ciel's eye, wiping a small tear away.

"M-memory", Ciel answered his voice a bit hoarse and groggy. "N-noth-hing f-for you to w-worry about."

"About your eye?" Sebastian asked and Ciel nodded. The man looked at Ciel wit apologetic face before he asked quietly: "Did I cause it?"

"K-kind of", Ciel bit his lip as Sebastian closed his eyes.

"I'm so, so sorry!" The man shouted and hugged Ciel tightly. "I didn't mean to hurt you, I could never hurt you! Tell me, what I did!"

"It's kind of hard to explain", Ciel said and moved the towel off his covered eye. It was died in red and the look of it made Ciel's stomach twist.

"Tell me, I don't want this to happen again", Sebastian said and Ciel sighted. Guess there was no other choice.

"We argued."

"And?"

"You see… Sometimes when I argue, my eye starts to bleed. The doctors told me that it has something to do with by blood pressure so if I'm stressed out and argue or fight, it starts to bleed", Ciel explained.

"I'm glad you told me", Sebastian smiled and stood up from the floor. Sebastian opened his mouth before he closed it again, frowning deeply, he took a deep breath and tried again. "Do you need help with anything?"

"No, I'm fine", Ciel said and Sebastian turned to leave when Ciel grabbed his arm.

"What?"

Ciel's eye widened when he realized what he had done. He quickly let go of Sebastian and felt himself blush heavily.

"You want me to stay?" Sebastian asked and Ciel nodded a little.

"B-but don't look", Ciel said and Sebastian nodded. Ciel walked to the mirror, his legs shaking slightly as he took support of Sebastian's strong body. He double-checked that Sebastian had his eyes closed before he took his hand on his own, shaking as he squeezed tightly. He felt Sebastian respond to his squeeze and felt the nervousness ease a little. It was never easy to take the blindfold off. If he could, he would keep it on forever.

With shaking hands, he undid the patch and quickly covered his eye to the wet towel. He pressed it for a long time, never leaving his hand from Sebastian's as he cleaned the skin the best he could. He washed the eye-patch without looking at his reflection before he pressed it back on his eye. He tied the patch in place and turned to Sebastian, the man's eyes still firmly closed.

Ciel took his time exploring Sebastian's face. He had never noticed, but Sebastian had very long eyelashes. His nose was straight and his lips were plump and a bit red. His black hair framed his pale face perfectly and created a contrast between the black and white. If he was a girl, Ciel could have easily fallen for the man.

"See something you like?" Sebastian asked and opened his blue eyes, smirk rising to his lips. Ciel blushed heavily and turned away from the man. The man sniggered and walked past the boy.

"Nothing in particular", Ciel answered and the man laughed out again before he stepped out the room. Ciel watched behind the man and couldn't help noticing how normal things felt, right after his serious attack. Never in his life had he been this calm right after his attack and it surprised it him. Ciel wasn't sure if it was the man or the fact that he wasn't home, but he felt calm.

"Wah!" Ciel yelped in surprise when Sebastian's strong hands suddenly wrapped around his body and lifted him to the man's wide lap. "What the hell are you doing? Put me down!"

"You'll sleep with me tonight", Sebastian explained and carried Ciel to his bedroom.

"I said I was not going to sleep with you!" Ciel yelled and banged Sebastian's wide shoulders before the man dropped him to the soft mattress.

"It's just sleep, nothing more", Sebastian said and walked to the other side of the bed, giving Ciel an opportunity to rush out the bed.

"You think I trust you won't do anything to me?" Ciel asked when Sebastian undressed his shirt before putting his nightclothes on. He moved quickly but Ciel still managed to take a good look of his muscular back and his white, smooth skin. He swallowed and turned his head away when Sebastian moved to take off his pants. He didn't look at the man before he heard the bed sheets rustling and Sebastian sigh when his head hit the pillow.

"I don't expect you to trust me yet. This is simply a way to earn it", Sebastian said and turned his head towards Ciel. "I don't want you to sleep on the couch anymore. I bet it wasn't so comfortable."

"It was comfortable enough", Ciel said and backed against the door. "If anything, this will be uncomfortable."

"Why won't you give it a try?" Sebastian asked and turned his back towards Ciel. The boy frowned and waited for a while. Sebastian's breathing slowly grew heavier and he didn't say anything when Ciel tested the mattress with his hand. Slowly Ciel lied himself to the mattress and went as near the edge as he could go, just so that he wouldn't even accidentally touch Sebastian. Or Sebastian touch him.

Little by little, drowsiness took control of Ciel's mind and he relaxed against the soft mattress. Sebastian had been right, it was much more comfortable that the couch. The feeling was pleasant, something Ciel usually never got. Ciel knew he should have felt awkward. He practically had just let a stranger know one of his deepest secrets. Not to mention the stranger was someone he should never trust, and now he slept in the same bed as him. The action would surely backfire someday but right now Ciel felt like it was unimportant. Right now, he was willing to believe in Sebastian, even if it was just a little.

-To Be Continued-

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